psychologist chauffeur,babysitter bartender
Anyone who frequents the bars knows the difference between good and bad bartenders and the ones who keep you coming back every weekend have that certain je ne sais qua that extends far beyond accurate pouring skills.
"It's very much about hospitality and about making people feel welcome," says KU graduate and Teller's bartender Whit Bones. "You have to keep a smile on your face, have a good attitude and keep a quick wit." It's important for bartenders to make that connection with customers, which sometimes can mean stepping outside the prescribed role of simple bartender. Colin Mermey, a Rochester, New York, senior, bartends at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri, and says that he occasionally finds himself fulfilling the psychiatric needs of his customers.
"You have to deal with the people who tend to bleed themselves emotionally to you," Mermey says. "All you can really do is be an active listener. You learn to kind of nod and repeat what they've said a couple times."
Thad Haverkamp, who has been a bartender for seven years at various Lawrence locations, including the Replay Lounge, the Jackpot Music Hall and currently Liberty Hall, says his job as bartender also frequently encompasses the role of peacekeeper. He says it's not uncommon for him to have to step into a hostile situation and try to diffuse tensions before they escalate and become dangerous. But worse than that, he says, is the role of the babysitter."It's our job to make sure everyone's having a good time and enjoying themselves so we do try and take care of the people who aren't doing so well."
Matt Uritis, a 2008 graduate and Louise's West bartender, says that he has even gone so far as to drive a drunk customer home after a night at the bar."He's a regular and one of my favorite people who comes into the bar," Uritis says. "If it had been someone else I wouldn't have done it. It's like one of your friends—you take care of them and they take care of you."
This is just the first on a very long list of reasons why you should always try to get on your bartender's good side. Your bartender will ultimately determine how well you get served each night and it's generally in your best interest to avoid a few simple things they say can get you kicked to the back of the line.
the dos and the don'ts
Snapping your fingers at your bartender is at the top of the "definitely don't" list for Liberty Hall's Haverkamp. "Don't snap at your bartender. Snapping puts you at the back of
the line. I'll serve everyone else before you."
Other seemingly common sense no-nos to avoid include yelling, cursing or throwing small objects at your bartender.
"I've had people throw stuff at me," says the Sprint Center's Mermey. "Say you give the customer a pen to sign their bill and they'll take the pen and throw it square back in your face. You know, their whiskey, god forbid, wasn't this high, or you forgot to give them a straw or something stupid."
General verbal abuse is also a good one to steer clear from, says Uritis of Louise's West, who once told a couple "thanks guys" only for the man to respond with,"I didn't spend five grand on a tit job for you to call her a dude."
For better service, be friendly by striking up a conversation and leave the attitude at home. On a slow night, a good way to get conversation started is to ask them to surprise you with a drink. Let them know what kind of liquor you like and then let them take it from there. "It's kind of like research and design at the bar." Haverkamp says.
Bartenders also like to develop camaraderie with their customers." "I like the people who will only come to me for service," says Nathan Schriner, a Lawrence junior who bartended for a Club Med resort in Ixtapa, Mexico." I love for a customer to say, You're my bartender and I'm only coming to you."
the drama
You should also be aware that all of your actions—every pickup line and every awkward dance move—are just another twist or turn of plot in your bartender's own personal soap opera.
"I always eavesdrop," Haverkamp says. "It's the best part of the job. You hear the worst pickup lines, but the scariest part is when they actually work." One of the most common plot developments that Haverkamp witnesses is the attempted pickup. "Probably the worst stereotype are the guys who for some reason really think that their moves are working on the women who are obviously not interested," he says. "It's usually the drunk guy who sits down next to the girl who's in the middle of conversation with her friends and no matter how many times she turns her back to him, he keeps talking."
Bones, of Teller's, says that he has seen his fair share of pickups and awkward situations. He recalls a situation recently in which a man and woman appeared at the bar separately, alone and seemingly on business.
"They started chatting for a while and it seemed like they were doing pretty well, talking about this and that, then he got really excited." Bones says. "I think he realized that he was talking to a really attractive woman who was here alone on business and he started to realize he might get some that night."
Bones says the woman was a slow eater, but the man, who had finished, kept refilling on wine until he became completely trashed. But Bones says it's all part of the entertainment. "Sometimes it's a bit fun to play with those situations and give them heavy pours just to see where it goes."
It started to get awkward about the time the man started emotionally professing the many secrets of his personal life." I could tell that she was just playing with him," Bones says. "He didn't realize I could hear everything, It was terribly awkward. She left alone that night and he left with all the hope in the world of seeing her again, but I knew it probably wasn't going to happen."
He wasn't the first, and certainly won't be the last guy to leave the bar alone. Haverkamp says he sees many of the exact same situations played out by his customers over and over again each night. "There's not a lot of variation on what people do in bars," he says. There are many stereotypical character types and plot lines that he and his fellow bartenders frequently see acted out.
"I don't see too many college students at our bar. It's mostly older people, but I kind give them the same stereotypes because I can definitely see what they were like when they were younger. It just hasn't changed," Mermey says."You'll definitely have the really loud
overconfident macho guy who is totally going through a mid-life crisis ordering all the drinks he possibly can and spending a lot of money. Then you have the woman who definitely hasn't left her college years even though she's well into her 40s and will hit on all of the guy bartenders regardless of her age."
Uritis says some of his most annoying customers belong to the newly 21 crowd. "I hate the kids who are really young and come into the bar and don't know how to act and end up treating the bartenders like shit. That's my biggest pet peeve," he says. "They're finally 21 and they feel like they finally deserve to be there so they're going to be really loud and obnoxious."
Then, of course, some of the bars' patrons just don't seem to fit any stereotypes at all. Haverkamp says he was bartending at a wedding at Liberty Hall when the father and brother of the groom became so belligerently drunk that they had to be removed from the building."The father of the groom at one point harassed my manager with a cake spatula." Haverkamp says."He grabbed it off the serving plate and was gesturing at him menacingly with this silver decorative cake spatula in his hand. It was possibly the dumbest thing I've ever seen somebody do. I can't imagine what the bride had to be thinking." JP
think you've got what it takes to be a bartender?
1) What is the optional garnish for all mixed drinks made with white wine?
a. a lemon twist
b. orange peel
c. pineapple slice
2) What two ingredients are used to make pina colada mix?
3) How much is "a splash"?
a. about half an ounce
b. one ounce
c. two ounces
4) Which classification of been takes longer to ferment?
a. ale
b. lager
Order the four steps of serving a lime garish.
5) about half in an ounce (4 fl oz.) 5 cut;
10) 3/2 tsp in floralishes Plates, 8 a 5 to 8
cup.
(10) imprint g/g/g/chardonnay/sauvignon
6) What is the blood-alcohol content limit for Kansas and Missouri?
a. .08 percent
b. 0.8 percent
c. 8 percent
7) Which tall drink uses all top shelf alcohol?
a. 57T-bird with Florida plates
b. Seth Allen
c. Mexican Slayride
8) How long do you blend an iced cream drink?
a. 2 to 3 seconds
b. 5 to 8 seconds
c. 9 to 10 seconds
Name one shooter drink that contains vodka and peach schnapps.
10) Name three types of white wine.
(1) a lemon twist (2) Fpineapple juice and cream of coconut squeeze slide on anm and drop in drink. (3) .08 ounces seconds (4) Sex on the Beach, Woo Woo Shooter, white blanc, picut blanc, proof 'prot', Riesling, chenn blanc
January 15,2009
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