University Daily Kansan / Wednesday. April 29, 1992
3B
Nightlife
Alcohol laws cause students, police to exercise vigilance
Continued from Page 1
These are remarks the officers are used to
"Everybody messes with you," Fultz said later. "They've got to say something to prove they're a big man. That's fine, you just have to faze them out and remember what you're there for."
Unlike at the Mad Hatter, it was difficult for the officers to spot underage drinkers in Quinton's.
As Miller made his way through the crowd, a woman by the bar took one last gulp of beer from her glass, shoved it in front of her friend and turned her back to the officer — all in one quick, yet clumsy, motion.
Miller edged his way through the crowd to the woman.
When she told him she did not have a licensor he pointed to the door. The door was locked.
He questioned her at the side of the door as the hecklers from the line continued to shout taunts.
"I'm telling you, I got scared some one would steal my purse," she said. "So I left it in the car and gave my ID to me when we got in, but she left without me."
it seemed to be an airtight alibi, but it did not last for long.
Asshecompletedhersentence,her friend walked out and addressed Miller.
"We are both 19," she said. "We came in to get a friend. We were only going to be in for five minutes. I swear."
Miller did not buy this story either. He continued to ask them questions. Eventually, one girl pulled a driver's license out of her pocket.
Miller hold the piece of plastic up to the light of his flashlight but still had trouble making out the words on the license.
"Commonwealth of..." Miller struggled. "Republic of the Cayman Islands."
The girls expected a citation, but Miller reached into his pocket and pulled out a black pocketknife.
He sliced down the center of the obviously fake ID.
"I'm being nice because I didn't see you drinking," Miller said. "I'm not going to serve you with citations this time."
The women were thankful.
By 11:43 p.m., the four officers arrived at Louise's Bar, 1009 Massachusetts St. Before they could even reach the door, they were met by the bouncer who waved two pieces of plastic — fake IDs he had confiscated.
The two male owners of the IDs stood by the door of the bar.
Miller took the two Kansas IDs, which were tattered and obviously had been tampered with.
"These are as fake as fake can be," Miller said.
Miller said. "These are pathetic." Fultz said.
Fultz called for one of the two men at the door. He used the name of the license. Instead of moving forward, one of the men pointed to himself and said, "You mean me?"
Fultz laughed, "You don't even know the name on it do you?"
Needless to say, the two received citations
By now it was 12:03 a.m. and the shift was over for the four officers. But the seven people who received citations from the officers were beginning another process: trying to figure out what to do next.
Shreve, who was issued a citation at the Mad Hatter, decided to go to KU Legal Services for Students. There, she learned about city ordinances and what options she had.
She decided to apply for a diversion, which would cost her between $100 and $250 plus court costs. A diversion would keep her record clean pending any other citations in the next year.
Shreve said she understood the laws better now, but thinks she was misled by the officer who issued her the citation.
"The policeman told me it would be $50, and that was completely wrong," she said. "I didn't know what kind of trouble I was getting into."
Punsters to compete in Austin for World Championship title
AUSTIN, Texas — The "eecks" inherit the mirth and losers are gonged with the win in an annual show of wit to raise money for a (one more time) wowy cause.
The Associated Press
The language is sure to take a beating May 3 during the O.
Henry Pun-Off World Championships, but that is OK. Bad jokes are the order of the day. Nearly 2,000 spectators showed up last year.
They've groan to love it.
"It's jest for a w诏y cause," said a flier from the O. Henry Museum in Austin. The contest raises money for the museum, in a cottage where author William Sydney Porter, better known as O. Henry, lived in the late 1800s.
The contest started out in fun and just grew, Bennett said. Spectators spread blankets under trees on the museum's lawn and are free to boo.
Valerie Bennett, museum curator, said O. Henry dis played a keen sense of humor in his short stories and in The Rolling Stone, a newspaper he published while he lived in Austin.
"It it's a big money event," said former champion punster Gary Hallock, an organizer and co-master of ceremonies. "Our prize package for the winner is dinner for two and a movie ticket. People are there for the glory of it."
"Punsters have a hard time finding anyone to goout with, so when they get a chance to catch this little bit of respect that's afforded them this one day a year — they come out of every nook and cranny."
The contest, in its 15th year, is divided into two categories. limited to 32 entrants each.
In the first, Punisier of Show, competitors are given 90 seconds to present puns in any format they choose - stoo-
ple, cute, funny.
In the second category, High Lies and Low Puns, competitors go head-to-head. A topic is selected at random and each contestant gets five seconds to make a pun related to it. The contest moves back and forth until one contestant takes too long and is gonged out.
A popular random topic is external body parts, where the talk gets hairy, Hallock said.
Might-have-been is an oft-used format, he said, offering rapid-fire examples:
Agriculture? "I might have married the farmer's daughter but I couldn't a tractor."
Cooking?" "I might have been a baker but I couldn't raise the dough."
Keys to competitive success, Hallock said, are a big
'Every word has a pun in it somewhere,' he said.
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