4 University Daily Kansan / Wednesday, January 15, 1992 OPINION LIFE IN HELL © 1986 BY MATT GROENING HELL FOR BEGINNERS A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO THIS CARTION) FOR NEOPHTHALES AND A REMEDIAL COURSE FOR THIEF (WHO HAS NOT BEEN READ) RAINING ATTENTION WHAT A SILLY QUESTION! BINKY AND THE GANG WILL BE AS HAPPY AS YOU ARE. Bigotry is alive and well Over the phone she had a sweet-sounding, over-the-old-lady voice. Polite-ly she said: "May I ask you a personal question?" Sure. "Are vouadago?" The question started me. After a moment of silence, I said: "Do you mean Italian?" "Yes," she said. "Yes," she said. "No, I'm not Italian." "I didn't think so," she said. "I always thought you were a Jew." "Yes, some people think that, although I'm not. But why did you ask me I am Italian?" "Because of the way you're trying to get that dago to run for president." "Yes. I don't understand why you want a dage for president." At this point, her voice had still not lost its calm delicacy. She might have been talking about a needlepoint or feeding her cat or a recipe for a tuna casserole. I said: "Why don't you refer to him by his name? Or as an Italian-American?" SI e ignored that and said: "You still haven't told me why you want a dago for president." So I yelled: "Lady, you are an old (I) delete the next word, but it refers to what is sometimes called the world's oldest profession." I have many flaws, weaknesses and bad habits. And one of them is a lack of patience and a tendency to make intemperate remarks. She lost her poise. Her voice rose and she said: "You can't talk to me that way." I said: "Of course I can, repeat, you are an old (deleted)." "I am going to call your editor," she said. "Go ahead, I said, "but since he is as happily married man, I doubt if he will be interested in the services of an old (deleted)." And Iung up. But the conversation did have a positive side. First, it led to one of my rare New Year's resaltations. I will not shout at, swear at, insult, hang up on, or in any other way abuse those who call me at the office, regardless of how stupid, Mike Royko Syndicated columnist bigoted or offensive their remarks might be. Well, maybe I'll hang up, but I won't do the rest of the stuff. More important, it reminded me that we are still a country that is bigotified in more ways than one. Or two or three of four and keep counting. I can understand why many people would not vote for Mario Cuomo, if he should change his mind and become a candidate. He's the governor of New York. That's the entire state, which includes many lovely towns and villages, scenic mountains and farms. But to most of America, New York is only New York City, in their eyes a frightening urban jungle. I happen to like New York City, but I have spent most of my life in Chicago, which to many rustics is a frightening urban jungle, so cities don't intimidate me. Or they might not want to vote for him because they think he's too liberal. Or too intellectual. Or they don't believe that you're not so sufficiently pooled and blow-dried. But because he is of Italian ancestry? Unfortunately, that is a factor. And it's not something Republicans have tried to hide. As a number of Southern Republican politicians have said: "We don't have many Marios down here." That's not even an attempt at the use of subtle buzzwords, a Republican skill. It's a flat-out statement that amounts to: "Wain'ti'n' fornoeye- Fine. Those are all valid issues, especially the hair. With the 21st century around the corner, you would think that we had gone beyond judging people by bloodlines. And I thought we had. After all, many of us voted for Dwight D. Eisenhower. I did. And it never occurred to me to say: "Eisenhower. That's a real kraut name. And it was those krauts who overran the land of my ancestors, and the krauts who shot our boys at Normandy. I'm not voting for no kraut." I can think of several reasons why I didn't vote for Ronald Reagan and would not vote for Patrick Buchanan. But it has nothing to do with their ancestry. But following the thinking of those who are obsessed with Cuomo's background, I suppose I could say: "Grish, huh? As I recall, Irechose to remain officially in World War II. Can't vote for those who trace their roots to a country that sat out the war to save the free world." I suppose that if we poke around in anyone's family tree, we can find some excuse for bigtry. Chances are that if Cuomo doesn't change his mind, Gov. Bill Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. Clinton? But he's from Arkansas. Must be some kind of backwoods hillbilly. Besides, he's a Southerner, and if Southerners don't like to vote for Yankees, why should I vote for some descendant of a Johnny Reb? By golly, he might even be a distant cousin of one Quantrill's raiders. Sure, Clinton went to Yale Law School and was a Rhodes Scholar. But let's face it, if he's from Arkansas, he must be a moonshiner at heart. Aren't they all? And let's not forget George Herbert Walker Bush. I believe he is of English ancestry. Those on the political right are fond of sending letters to newspapers that include the phrase: "Wake up, America." There's something a lot of Americans have forgotten about the English. I buthaven't. And it is this: If they had put down our Revolutionary War, it is likely that they would have executed or, at the very least, imprisoned George Washington, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. Can any decent person vote for a man whose ancestors would have strung up the Founding Fathers? We need a new slogan. Maybe something like "Grow up, America." Mike Royko is a syndicated columnist for the Chicago Tribune. THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Iacocca did not help summit Allowing business executives to get involved in diplomatic missions is a mistake missions is a mistake. The United States-Japan summit is over, and the consensus is that it was more of a disappointment than a step forward in relations between the two economic superpowers. The reasons for the disappointment are obvious. There was no way that a few days of discussions could solve a $50 billion trade deficit. That was an unrealistic goal President Bush put upon himself as the result of re-election pressures and sliding approval ratings. But that was not the only reason for the disappointment. Taking along 18 business executives to handle sensitive diplomatic issues was wrong. Instead of drawing the two countries together, the summit drove a wedge between them, and both sides now blame each other for U.S. economic problems. The executives had no right to go to Japan with the president. They left behind the impression that Americans are bullies who demand that others solve their problems. This is not difficult to understand when a person sees a picture of Lee Iacocca, who heads the Chrysler Corporation, scowling at Japanese automakers. There also was no reason for the U.S. government to pay for the executives to go to Japan. At a time when budgets for welfare and unemployment programs are barely meeting the demands for aid, it is amazing that the government paid for these executives'trip. Business executives should not be part of diplomatic delegations because they won't try to further diplomatic relations. They are only looking after their own profits. It seems impossible to believe that these executives could not pay for their own trip. Iacocca, Robert Stempel and Harold Poling, who head the big three automakers, each are paid more than $1 million a year. Iacocca is paid more than $4 million a year. Those salaries more than allow them to make their own trips to Japan to try to work out a better situation for their corporations. Maybe the executives should think about reducing their own salaries to help increase corporation profits. Japanese executives are paid approximately $400,000 a year. That does not mean that Japanese executives are worse than their U.S. counterparts, it just means that their paychecks don't use as much of the corporations' profits. It is good that the president and executives wanted to increase sales to Japan, but the method they used was wrong. They should listen more to the other side and realize that negotiations are a better way to success than ultimatums and demands. Perhaps then a step forward would be taken. Amy Francis for the editorial board Admissions should stay open Qualified admissions does not solve problems in the Kansas educational system. In keeping with its populist tradition, Kansas remains the only state in the union where graduates of its state high schools may enroll at a state college or university without facing any admission requirements. Gov. Joan Finney continues to support open admissions at state schools. To many, qualified admissions seems like an obvious remedy to a number of university ailments such as overcrowding and underfinancing. But it is by no means a panacea as some might suggest. Right now, qualified admissions would be unviable and unfair to those who would be denied admission for not meeting at least one of three qualifications proposed by the Board of Regents: A 2.0 grade point average in a recommended core curriculum. An ACT score of 23 or higher. Graduation in the top one-third of the class. Universities, already lacking resources, have found themselves spoon-feeding the basic academic skills to those who missed them in high school. While it is costly to coddle these students, it is unfair to deny them a higher education because of their failings in high school. These failings are not always their fault. Given the widespread disparity in financing, morale and staffing among Kansas high schools, it would be unfair to slight students who have had unsatisfactory high school educations. Finney supports a plan that would revamp the K-12 system before imposing admission requirements on state colleges or universities. Such a plan may be far-reaching and slow to progress but is a worthy pursuit. In the meantime, it would be fairer to keep admissions open rather than restrict them. Martin Scherstuhl for the editorial board Editorial page needs readers' input to be forum for discussion on campus When I came back to campus last week to prepare for the impending semester as editorial editor of the Kansan, the chorus from David Bowie's "Changes" kept playing in my mind. The most visible and immediate change on the editorial page will be the addition of the cartoon "Life In Hell," by Matt Groening, which will appear, appropriately, on Mondays. The entirely new staff, which includes Alexander Bloomefh as associate editor and myself as editor, is the most drastic change to the page. With new faces always come changes. Beth Randolph Editorial editor But the most important change we want to see is increased reader participation on our page. The editorial page of the Kansan should feature discussion and debate about issues facing the campus, as well as the region, nation and world. Some topics might be serious and some might be humorous. The space on this page will be devoted to expression of the ideas, thoughts and views of the campus community by the members of that community. Stick But as an open forum for students, faculty, staff and anybody who is connected to or concerned about the University of Kansas, the editorial page of the Kansan needs the help of its readers. We encourage everybody to make his or her opinion known to the campus community by sending in letters to the editor and writing guest columns. If there is an issue you would like to see addressed through an editorial by members of the editorial board, submit the idea to us. Or simply call and let us know what concerns you. Changes with any amount of significance are al:v;s ays difficult, but they are often the most rewarding. However, these changes cannot happen without input from our readers. So I ask for your thoughts, views and ideas to bring about change. KANSANSTAFF Beth Randolph is a Lake Quivira seniormajoring in journalism.. Editor's note: "Stick" by David Rosenfeld will appear Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and "Loco Locals" by Tom Mchaud will appear Tuesdays and Thursdays, both on the editorial page. 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