UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN EDITORIAL STAFF The official paper of the University of GLOUDS MABRAD ... Editor-in-Chief ROBERT MABRAD ... Managing Editor FARRAL MABRAD ... Editorial Director ROBERT PATTERN ... Ast. Sports Editor EARL POTTER ... High School Edite IFF E LAMBERT ... Business Manager, J. LEYNER ... Assist. Business Manager REPORTORIAL STAFF STANLEY PINKERTON WARD MADISON ROBIN LADEN ROBIN LADEN RONALD HUGHTON HUGHTON Entered as a second-class mail matter by the state of Kansas. Lawyers, Kansas, under the act of Micròl Published in the afterword. Five items from the press of the department of finance from the press of the department Subscription price $2.00 per year. In Year increases. $2.50 per year, one term $1.25 in increases. Phones; Bell K. U. 25; Home 1165. Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. LAWRENCE. TUESDAY, MAY 21, 1912 Owing to the fact that a final desperate effort will be made by the members of the staff to stay eligible for the Daily Kansan next fall, the reporters will be given a reprieve during quiz week. Only two papers will be published, the first on Monday and the second on Wednesday of quiz week. The Summer Session Kansan will be started during commencement week. COURTESY The students are urged by the faculty upon the occasion of any high school event to show the visitors every courtesy. But there seems not to have been an application of Shakespeare's words, "it's a good divine that follows its own teaching," on the part of the faculty. During the recent interscholastic tennis tournament all of the varsity tennis courts were not in order and some of the matches had to be played on the court commonly knows as the "faculty court." Some of the faculty players came down a short while after the matches were started and compelled the high school players to vacate the court—it seems that they wished to practice. The matches had to be postponed until the one court that was in condition could be used. Is it right that the students should be held to account as entertainers and hosts more than the faculty, themselves? FREE LUNCHES Several students who brings their lunches on the "hill" leave them in the lockers just outside the Cafeteria. So many of these lunches have been stolen that the practice of lunch carrying is being discontinued. It is a slight thing in itself but it does not reflect very creditably on the student body. One young woman who had frequently suffered, decided to wrap-up a lunch tempting looking from the outside; but, she stuffed it with orange peels, wads of paper and broken glass. She put it in the accustomed place and at eleven-thirty looked. It was still there; but at twelve fifteen it was gone. No death was reported so the thief is not perishing from want. This is a matter that the authorities should investigate; although it is not very serious, still it is inconvenient to those who depend upon their lunch from this source. Perhaps if a janitor were put on watch some young "Fagin" would be taught a lesson. THE DEAD QUIZ There it lies on the polished desk of the professor. Its limp leaves fluttering and its curled back still moist from the pressure of your racing fingers as you hurriedly outline that tenth question. But it is dead now and harmless. It sprawls there on the table top in an almost pitiful manner. But there is no pity in your heart. You gloat savagely, as you throw a fiendish glance of triumph at the averted head of the venerable sexton seated by the pile of pale little corpses. Your classmates hurriedly stab their names on their respective victims and hurry out. The quiz is dead. Next morning you stride gavily on the ancient portals of Fraser, and briskly mount two flights of stairs to the offices of the department. Your heart is light within you, and you are at peace with all the world. The morning is bright, the breeze is sweet, and the sunlight is glorious And how that purple martin out there can sing? You are completely at peace with all the world. How sweet it will be to learn how your enemy perished. You will count his every struggle, and rejoice in the throes of his last bitter moments when you so conclusively and finally gave him his quietus in that tentil question. You approach the grim sexton who audited the last accounts of your defenet enemy. He looks up with an impassive smile, and hands you the lifeless remains of your adversary. You open the first page. With a fiendish yell, the quiz leaps from his paper sepulcher and branishes a glaring red— But let us draw the curtain over the horrible scene. TOWNS AND TREES: Manhattan in Kansas exemplifies, as Lawrence in Kansas exemplifies, as many Kansas town exemplify, the communal blessing of trees. The two pretty ,saml cities, Lawrence and Manhattan, have each its great school. That particular cultural advantage not every town can have. But the blessing of trees and the town beauty which trees give of themselves and which they carry with them in their accompaniment of well kept grass and tidy houses and paved streets--this blessing all towns can have. Perhaps the statement should be modified for the far western part of Kansas. Perhaps trees really will not be coaxed to grow in the far western soil. But many Kansas towns are treeless, though trees will grow in them as thrifly as the splendid elms and maples of Manhattan and Lawrence grew. No town is so small that it need buly. A little railroad "whistling post" could be attractive with trees. Some time the railroads of the west will send out their "abor specials" as they send their good roads trains. There is little excuse for the habitations of men along the track to be usually the single unloveley thing in the Kansas railroad journey. Have you noticed that where fine trees form a park in the air the people below have holiday manners? The people under the trees seem to be enjoying life. They are not satisfied with slovenness. The accompaniment of nice lawns and pretty, well kept houses and clean streets is a tribute to the exalted status of the town under the arching branches is the nicest sort of laziness. When you loot in the shaded streets of towns like Lawrence and Manhattan you invite your soul. The "good gray poet" would have liked these Kansas towns — Kansas City Star TWO MINUTES WITH CAMPUS CELEBRITIES Q—"They say that you are disguised, Mr. Mitchell?" have nothing to do. I carefully do not care to shave." A. “Don't believe everything you Q. —What is your first name, doctor? A. —Because I want to. I am about 40 years old. I have a small foot. A--"Don't call me doctor. I am not a graduate of a veterinary college or a medical work. Give me a big plate of hot biscuits and I could curl up and die happy." A. "--Arthur. I don't like to be called doctor. It takes a man with lots of brains to teach Logic and Philosophy, if I do say it." Q: —Why do you wear a cow-bo; hat, Professor?" Q—Do you slick your hair with bar's grease, doctor?" A. —I*No. I-er-have lost several of my permanent teeth. I mean to wear long whiskers and a soft shirt when I get old." Q.—Did you ever eat any of Dr. Eda Day's bites?** Q—I's it a fact, Mr. Mitchell, that your Marine to make your eyes glaze? A. —No, no, they always glittered. I have been here one year. I can smoke a big pipe now without getting sick." "Why did everybody cry in that last death scene?" "Because they knew the actor wasn't dend." THE SAD, SAD GRIND OF OUR COLLEGE LIFE Missionary—Why do you look at me so intently? —Sphinx. Cannibal—I'm the food inspector. —Minne-Ha. The oldest inhabitant had died of apoplexy while sitting on the counter "Did he die a natural death?" inquired a dropper-in. "No; counter-flt," drawled the store keeper. -Chaparral. Des Impressions Du Prom A laughing face with eyes of blu That cloud to see the programm A half-veiled glance from dreamy eyes; Her partner stooping. Ah, mon Dieu His small roommate's dress-suit. That's all. Red lips that part, a subtle sigh; part a subtle sight; Lou murmured loud; A fresh smear. "aw, go die!" Mabel- "It's getting too cold for bathing." A cluster rare of gleaming flowers, And several thins about the same Ethel="Yes; every morning in my room you can see the paper froze on A bank-account that darkly lowers; Hie Jacet. Oh well, he died game Mr—I hear that the Hon. O. Ratormade a hit at your sewing circle last night. Mrs.—Yes, he arose and said, "Ladies, the greatest thing on earth is a-hem, a-hem, a-hem—and then sat down. —Chaparral. —Princeton Tiger. She—Oh! I haven't a thing to put on my hook, and there's a big fish, and I'm so excited!" —Chaparral. He—"Well! You can't catch fish with bated breath." -Princeton Tiger. 1st Imp—What's that awful smell? 2nd Imp—We've a couple of trust magnates on the grill. Chaparral. He's Right 1912 "Do you think Hell is a condition?" 1913—“No; but vice versa.” —Princeton Tiger. Professor—"Your answer is about as clear as mud!" Bright College Youth—"Well, that covers the ground, doesn't it?" "This tobacco is matchless," quoth the stude, as the wind caught his only Lucifer. Prof.-"Mr. Green, how do you construct a triangle?" 1915-"Pull one side out of quare and glue the loose end." —Widow. The Tiger. From Letters of a, Self-made Merchant to his Son. The Self-Made Merchant Make. Plain The Relation of Poetry Etc. To His Packing Business From John Graham, at the Union Stock Yards in Chicago. He pointed out that he found Pierre points to Carriageport to his liking and has suggested that he take a post graduate course to fill up some gaps in his training. GETTING A START OUT OF COLLEGE Dear Plierreport, No, I can't say that I think anything of your post graduate idea. You're not going to be a poet or a professor, but a packer, There's a chance for everything we have learned, from Latin to poetry; in the packing business, though we ing house. Some men learn all they ing from books; others from life; both kinds are narrow. The first are all theory; the second are all true itce. Its the fellow who knows enough about practice to test his theories for blohlowes that gives the word "blowowes" a fair deal of profit in shaving its. don't use much poetry here in except in our street car ads, and about the only time our products are given Latin names is when the state board of health condemns them. So I think you'll find it safe to go short a little on the frills of education; if you want them bad enough you'll find a way to pick them up later, after business hours. The main thing is to get a start along the right lines, and that is what I sent you to college for. I didn't expect you to carry off all the education in sight—I knew you'd leave a little for the next fellow. But I wanted you to form good mental habits, just as I want you to have plain, straight physical ones. Because I was run through a threshing machine when I was a boy, and did it myself, she was strata of hair till I was past thirty, I haven't any sympathy with a lot of these old fellows who go around bragging about their ignorance and saying that boys don't need to know anything except addition, and the "best policy" brand of honesty. The first college man 1 ever hired was old John Durburn's son, Jim. That was a good many years ago when the house was a much smaller affair. Jim's father had a lot of money until he started to buck the universe and corner wheat. And the boy took all the fancy courses and trimming at college. The old man was mighty proud of Jim. Wanted him to be a literary friend. But old Durham found out what everyone learns who gets his ambitions mixed up with No. 2 red—that there is a heap of it lying around loose in the countryside, and quick work and kept the cow what bread lives that one settling day half a dozen of us had to get under the market to keep it from going to everlasting smash. That day made young Jim a candidate for a job. It didn't take him long to decide that the Lord would attend to keeping up the visible supply of poetry, and that he had better turn his attention to the stocks of moss pork. Next morning he was laying for me with a letter of introduction when I got to the office, and when he found that I wouldn't have a private secretary at any price, he applied for every other position on the premises right down to office boy. I told him I was sorry, but I couldn't do any thing for him then; that we were letting men go, but I'd keep him in mind, and so on. The fact was that I didn't think a fellow with Jim's training would be much good anyhow. But Jim hung on—said he'd taken a fancy to the house, and wanted to work for it. Used to call by about twice a week to find out if they had turned up. Finally, after about a month on this, he wore me down so that I stopped him one day as he was passing me on the street. I thought I'd find out if he really was so red-hot to work as he pretended to be; besides, I felt that perhaps I hadn't treated the boy just right, as I had delivered quite a jag of that wheat to his father myself. "Hello, Jim," I called; "do you still want that job?" "Yes, sir," he answered, quick as lightning. "Well, I tell you how it is, Jim." I said, looking up at him—he was one of those husky, lazy-moving six-footers—"I don't see any chance in them," he can use another good strong man in one of the loading gangs." I thought that would settle Jim and let me out, for it's no joke lugging beef, or rolling barrels and tierees a hundred yards or so to the cars. But Jim came right back at me with "Done. Who'll I report to?" INTO THE METROPOLITAN FIELD To the Daily News Enclosed please find my subscription to the Daily Kansan for one YEAR! It is my privilege in this business to look over many university and college publications. In my estimation the only Kansan is the "lives" of them all. You fellows seem to take what small amount of exciting news you have and present it in a most thrilling manner—a manner which gives your sheet the semblance of a metropolitan daily paper. I have added the Daily Kansan to my list of morning's reading, which included the Chicago Tribune and Hearst's Examiner. It has gotten to be a question with me now which of the three furnishes the most food for thought. Anyway, I will slip it to the Kansan. Yours very truly, T. R. Gowenlock. She—I hope it won't be hot in Assembly Hall on Commencement day. He—You can count on about three hundred degrees. Chaparral. Commencement Gifts BOOKS Old School Day Romances GIRLS My Sorority My Commencement The Girl Graduate (Her Own Book) Vacation Book (Riley) My Fraternity The Fragrant Field Chap Records Trips Abroad Girls I Have Met BOYS Automobile Trip Records University Book Store 803 Mass. Street Jewel Boxes, Cut Glass, Initial Stationery, Memory Books, Fountain Pens, Pipe Racks, Seal Leather Pocket Books, Golf Clubs, Caddie Bags. A fine thing about attending the University of Kansas is that the student also has the privilege of attending Lawrence —typical old New England town in a Middle West setting, combining in just proportion the beauty and quiet of a charming residence city with the initiative and bustle of a live business center. It thus has the perfection of attractiveness that appeals to youth. Attend Lawrence four years and you can never forget the place where center the historic associations of Kansas—the Athens of Kansas. The Merchants' Association Lawrence KANSAS CITY THEATERS SAM S SHUBERT THIS WEEK LOUISE GUNNING In The BALKAN PRINCESS NEXT WEEK Howes Travel Festival WILLIS WOOD THIS WEEI EVA LANG The Freedom of Suzanne NEXT WEEK "45 Minutes From Broadway." Summer Students CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS. Now is the time to engage your board at the "Mid Way" for the Summer School at 1042 Ohio St.—Adv. FOR RENT - June 1—Cosy six room cottage; modern, gas, water and electricity. Convenient to car line, town, and University. Located 1010 Alabama Street. Apply to C. J. Dodds, at the Gas Office. Washington University MedicalSchool Admission requirement two years of college work including English, German, physics, chemistry and biology. Full time staffs in leading clinical as well as in laboratory Entrance examinations September 24-29. Instruction begins September 30. For catalogue and information address Washington University Medical School 1806 Locust St. ST. LOUIS, MO Ed. Anderson's restaurant Household Moving Subscribe for the Daily Kansan Now Finest Sunday Dinners BL FRANCISCO & CO. Boarding and Livery. Your Baggage Handled Auto and Hacks. Open Day and Night Carriage Painting and Trimming. Phone 1199, 808-812-814 Vermont St. Lawrence, Kansas. A Fine Line of SPRINGSUITINGS KOCH THE TAILOR. LAWRENCE Business College Lawrence, Kansas Write for our beautiful illustrated *matinee* room school show about the school contain- s room school with a tokyo to your quokki almost as an actual classroom. For more info, advance Business Colleges, Lawever. We have Gone Back to Our Old Prices Peerless Cafe 906 Mass. Street. ED. W. PARSONS, Engraver, Watchmaker and 717 Mass. Street Lawrence, Kan R. B. WAGSTAFF Fancy Groceries Summer Money. We are the man- ufacturers of the well known brand of "1892" ALUM I N UM WARE Every summer a number of young men who want to work in the construction industry is required and good workers can make an average of a dollar an hour. Write in confidenc Co. Lemont, Ill. BASE BALL Athletic Supplies Kennedy & Ernst 826 Mass. St. Phones 341 Spearmint Tooth Paste Spearmint Coffee Paste 25 Cents McColloch's DrugStore McColloch'sDrugStore