Opinion
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY Kansan
Published daily since 1912
Lindsey Henry, Editor Marc Harrell, Business manager Dave Morant, Managing editor Colleen Eager, Retail sales manager Kristie Blasi, Managing editor Dan Simon, Sales and marketing adviser Tom Ebien, General manager, news adviser Justin Knupp, Technology coordinator
Wednesday, March 4, 1998
SACRAMENTO BEE
Editorials
Delta Force's senators shouldn't skip out to go to their kickoff party
Delta Force is holding its campaign kickoff party tonight - right when Student Senate will be meeting.
Student senators who also are Delta Force candidates should not skip the meeting or attempt to change the agenda so they can leave early. Doing so would send a strong message to voters — that these senators care more about running for office than they do about holding the job.
The scheduling of the kickoff party was unfortunate, and admittedly not entirely the fault of Delta Force. The party originally had been scheduled for last night, but the Granada, where the party will be held, changed the date.
Emily Heath, Delta Force presidential candidate, said that her coalition's senators would not be absent from the Senate meeting or leave early to go to the kickoff party. We will hold her, and the senators, to her word.
Senators who abandon their responsibilities to go politick don't deserve to be re-elected
Should they break this promise, then students should not vote for these candidates. Student senators who would rather attend a campaign kick-off than do their job have no business in Senate. They certainly have no business running for re-election.
Heath said that when the Granada changed the date of the event, Delta Force tried to find another place to hold their party, but was unable to locate a usable venue.
Perhaps if Delta Force wanted all members to attend, it should have postponed its kick-off party.
Lawrence has no shortage of available places to hold such events. When the conflict with Senate arose, Delta Force's campaign managers should have rescheduled it so that their candidates who are already in Senate would not have had this conflict — and potential temptation.
This mishap was probably the result of unfortunate circumstances rather than political malfeasance—and the coalition should work harder to plan its events around other responsibilities. Delta Force members should realize that this issue is too serious to brush off with an "Oh well, they changed our time." That excuse shouldn't be bought.
Any senator tries to alter the agenda of Senate so he can go work on getting re-elected shouldn't worry about coming back after he leaves. Because voters shouldn't let him.
Paul Eakins and Andy Obermueller for the editorial board
Keep it clean and come out fighting
In the past few years, Student Senate elections have carried with them reports of not only debates and campaigning but also reports of tire slashings, car flippings, banner snatching and even voter fraud.
Students may want their elected representatives to be professional, but strong-arm, Machiavellian tactics not only aren't necessary, but turn students away from student government. Enough students don't vote as it is — candidates should be loathe to further disgruntle more of the University's already-apathetic studentry.
The Student Senate campaign has begun: Lines have been drawn, coalitions formed, and yes, the buttons are probably on the way. The battle
We can do without negative campaigning sell yourself don't mar your opponent
is inevitable. So as they say in boxing, "Let's keep it clean, and come out fighting." After all, even war has rules.
Students should demand an end to fingers in the eyes and hits below the belt the way civilized countries have agreed to banning Agent Orange and anthrax.
don Liddys running around. And to be honest, we'd rather see the club notes from the University Women's Garden Society run on page one than a report of some yahoo ripping up campaign posters in Wescoe Hall.
Remember, the election is still more than a month away. We think there's enough news on campus already without a bunch of potential G. Gor-
And here's a tip: The best way to campaign is to put yourself in the best light possible. This can be accomplished without dirtying your opponent's name.
Any student candidate who engages in dirty campaigning should not be supported by students. Such disrespect for the process invalidates the right to hold office.
Candidates who campaign on their own integrity — and whatever issues they support — are the only candidates who deserve consideration.
Kansan staff
Andy Obermueller for the editorial board
Paul Eakins ... Editorial
Andy Obermueller ... Editorial
Andrea Albright ... News
Jodie Chester ... News
Julie King ... News
Charity Jeffries ... Online
Eric Weslander ... Sports
Harley Ratliff ... Associate sports
Ryan Koerner ... Campus
Mike Perryman ... Campus
Bryan Volk ... Features
Tim Harrington ... Associate features
Steve Puppe ... Photo
Angie Kuhn ... Design, graphics
Mitch Lucas ... Illustrations
Corrie Moore ... Wire
Gwen Oison ... Special sections
Lachelle Rhoades ... News clerk
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Revertising managers
Kristi Bisel . Assistant retail, PR
Leigh Bottiger . Campus
Brett Clifton . Regional
Nicole Lauderdale . National
Matt Fisher . Marketing
Chris Haghirian . Internet
Brian Allers . Production
Ashley Bonner . Production
Andee Tomlin . Promotions
Dan Kim . Creative
Rachel O'Neill . Classified
Tyler Cook . Zone
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Jamie Holman . Zone
Brian LeFevre . Zone
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"A candidate for office can have no greater advantage than muddled syntax; no greater liability than a command of the language."
How to submit letters and guest columns
Letters: Should be double-spaced typed and fewer than 200 words. Letters must include the author's signature, name, address and telephone number plus class and home-town if a University student. Faculty or staff must identify their positions.
Marya Mannes
Guest columns: Should be double-
spaced typed with fewer than 700 words. The writer must be willing to be photographed for the column to run.
All letters and guest columns should be submitted to the Kansan newsroom, 111 Stuaf-fer-Flint Hall. The Kansan reserves the right to edit, cut to length or reject all submissions. For any questions, call Paul Eakins (eakins@kansan.com) or Andy Obermuerulla (andyo@kansan.com) at 864-4810. If you have general questions or comments, e-mail the page staff (opinion@kansan.com) or call 864-4810.
Perspective
Column new addition to NBC's Must See TV
Last week I became quite disoriented. On Wednesday I picked up my University Daily Kansan as I do everyday, and I suddenly realized I had gone color blind. This
newfound color blindness shocked me into a vertigolike state that dropped me where I stood — on the sidewalk to Wescoe Hall.
While I was out I had a weird hallucination in which the disembodied head of Andy Obermeller's colorless mugshot danced before me speaking bizarre truths, like what's in the secret sauce, and why man's inhumanity to man culminated in MTV's The Real World. Finally the head led
Nick Bartkoski
ibartkoski@kansan.com
me to a giant TV screen which flashed the Truth.
When I woke up in front of Wescoe on Friday, my colorblindness was gone, and I woke remembering the Truth, a realization more important than the fact that dogs had been using me as a bathroom for two days.
Seinfeld is going away. NBC has said they're worried about how to fill in the time slot, so how could they better replace the lynch pin of Thursday night than with a show based on the funniest college newspaper column since newsprint was invented? Unfortunately they probably can't get those rights, so instead they can purchase the rights to my column.
Basing a show on my column is a natural idea. As I'm sure one or two of you remember, CBS once had a show based on Dave Barry's columns called Dave's World. Since The Kansan hasn't figured out that my columns are just old Dave columns with my name on them, I'm sure it would take NBC years to realize that I'm just handing them old episodes of Dave's World that I taped off Channel 5.
Right now my column is a little spartan. Every good sitcom has supporting characters. Unfortunately the most compelling characters in my columns are ICAN (the International Conspiracy Against Nick) and my cat, Sparky.
So starting now, I'm adding three characters to improve my column's marketability. First is Enrique the Pool Lad. In case you hadn't noticed, when I name things I enjoy giving them titles.
Enrique will be the kind of wacky, zany balance to my subdued and gentle nature. While I'm not sure why he's "the Pool Lad," I'm sure that's a show topic just waiting to be explored, maybe even in a special two-part episode for
My second character will be my roommate. His job is to sit in his corner of the room looking at his computer while hilarity ensues around him. Much like in real life, his prolonged exposure to my 24-hour volume and idiocy has put him in such a state that he can tone out the rest of the world, even to the point of ignoring a full-scale revolution occurring in the hallway.
sweeps month.
I'm sure a few of you have heard that in the original pilot of Seinfeld, there was no Elaine. After seeing the pilot, NBC asked Seinfeld to add a woman character. Well, I'm far ahead of the NBC brass. Since there are no female characters in my real life, I need to take some creative liberties with reality. My last character is a woman named Marge who used to date me — much like Elaine with Seinfeld.
But I can only take so many liberties with reality. To keep this show somewhat grounded in reality, Marge is a militantly man-hating, feminist lesbian. She chose this lifestyle because of her one date with me, and spends each show trying to kill the other three male characters.
Now before I start getting angry letters from everyone in the world, I should mention that not all feminists are lesbians and vice versa. Additionally both groups are certainly not necessarily man-hating. However, extrapolating on real life, I can only assume that Marge's realization that I am a heterosexual male would drive her to distance herself from ever having the possibility of interacting with me in a romantic way again — leading her down the path of militantly man-hating feminism and lesbianism.
With my newly introduced characters, the face of my column will be forever changed. Let's first look at an example of my column before the characters: Those new ID cards, boy do they suck.
And now with the characters added in: "Those new ID cards, boy do they suck," I said. Enrique finds this so funny that he shoots milk out his nose at such a frzenied velocity that it's like a fire hose. This stream shatters a camera lens. The overwhelming sound of a laugh track almost makes my roommate stir from his Jedi Knight game. Marge busts through the door with a bazaook and shoots Enrique. "Oh my God, you've killed Enrique. You bastard." I shout.
"Wait a second," shouts the newly arrived Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park. "You stole our bit, we're going to sue."
"Get in line," says Dave Barry.
Get in the, says Dave Barry.
Damned if this isn't Must See TV.
Bartkoski is a Basehor junior in English and journalism.
Legislation Pending in Student Senate
Sponsor: Natalie Sullivan, LA&S Senator
within the group for incurrant allocation of $2,000. The group for incurrant
Scorner; Nathan Sullivan; L.A.R.S. Senator
A Bill to Fund the KU Environs' Keynote Speaker for Earthweek, Doug Peacock
The legislation for this week's Senate Senate meeting, which will be at 6:30 p.m. at the Big 12 Room in the Kansas Union;
A Bill to Fund the KU Cultural India Club
Night April 12, 1998
Bill calls for allocation of $2,500 to the group to fund this event.
Sponsor: Jason Thompson, Nunemaker Senator
A Bill to Fund the Elections Commission
Bill calls for allocation of $1,753.64 to fund the
Elections Commission
Sponsor: Scott Kaiser, Nunemaker Senator
A Bill to Amend Rules and Regulations. Article V
Sponsor: Ann Marchand, Journalism Senator
Bill calls for a Rules and Regulations change concerning the election of standing committee chairs.
A Bill to Provide Emergency Funding for
Headquarters Counseling Center
Sponsor: Tami Radohl, Social Welfare Senator
Bill calls for allocation of $5.935 from the Student Senate Reserve Account to continue center's services this year.
A Bill to Fund the KU Habitat for Humanity Bill calls for allocation of $200 for general funding for the group.
Sponsor: Jason Thompson, Nunemaker Senator
A Bill to Fund the KU Chapter of Students for a Free Tibet
Bill calls for allocation of $397 to the group for general funding and special projects.
Sponsor: Matt Bachand, LA&S Senator
A Bill to Fund the East Timor Action Network's Lecture Featuring Constancio Pinto on March 17.1998
Bill calls for allocation of $500 for an
enquiry service.
Sponsor: Finance Committee
A Resolution to Support a Recommendation from the Provost to all Departments to use Recycled Paper
Sponsor: Kevin Yoder, IFC Senator
Feedback
Oprah not a good role model for youth
I'm writing in response to Tina Terry's March 2 column, "Oprah among best female role models for children."
Do not think I am trying to
I'm a little dubious of considering people with extreme amounts of power as role models for my nieces. I feel like there are too many people with too much power being considered role models. Be they actors, musicians, or athletes, how can we expect our children to look up to them? What we know of them is what is seen and heard in the mass media.
These power models give people a false sense that anyone can gain just as much power. Power such as
take anything away from Oprah Winfrey, what she has overcome, and what she has done for others. I will be the first to admit my admiration for her but in no way do I want her to be a role model for children because of her power. No doubt she would be a good role model for kids who know her personally, or if she ever became a mother. On the other hand, I could not model my life after someone I see on television five days a week, barring reruns. My nieces should not do this either.
Oprah's is reserved for a very limited few.
My role models are the people who brought me into this world and those who taught me what I know. If disagreeing with Oprah being "the supreme role model" makes me one of the "jealous few," then so be it. People need to model their lives after their parents, grandparents, friends and teachers — not powerful superstars. Ms. Terry, I hope you have others to look up to besides Oprah. If you do not, I know some pretty good teachers. Hey, if all else fails, I will give you my parents' phone number.
John G. Sindt
Keystone, Iowa, senior