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daily kansan
friday ◀
1.23.98 ◀
eight.a ◀
GIRL buying POWER
little
story by tim harrington associate features editor
The Spice Girls. For some reason, the group has a movie coming out today.
This weekend, millions of people across the country will venture out of their homes, dole out their hard-earned money, and with their feet securely cemented in corn syrup saliva goo, they will watch Spice World.
Anyone older than 10 years old will be sorry they did.
The University Dally Kansan features page editors are sorry they did.
We were invited to the Spice World premier at Kansas City's Ward Parkway theater.
The features page editors were sadly mistaken.
We were excited. It was a premiere. This is where the stars come out in full force to recognize their fellow thespians. Bryan wore a tie.
The children were not impressed.
Give what you can, kids.
The closest thing to a celebrity was Scott from The Mix 93.3 FM KMXV radio. Before the movie began, Scott came out and told the 100 or so 8-to-12 year old girls, their 10 parents and three or four members of the press about upcoming contests through which we could win a trip to the Grammys or a tropical vacation for two.
Scott then reminded the squirming throng of sugar and popcorn-stuffed children that the station needs support from the community and that their donations would be appreciated.
The movie was awful. We'll go into more detail about exactly why in a bit,
but a less predictable aspect of the Spice Girl phenomena, which was revealed at the premiere, was exactly who buys
Spice Girls CD's.
rinding someone who has made the purchase is like asking people if they have 900 numbers on their speed dialer.
The group has sold 19 million copies of its album in its 18-month gallop to fame. The debut album, *Spice*, went triple platinum in only three weeks.
"Girl Power" must be short for "little girl buying power," and the Spice Girls know this. In the movie, it's no coincidence that the two fans that win a day with Spice Girls happen to be two sweet little girls.
Though "Girl Power" may be some code phrase for their market share, *Spice World* never reveals exactly what the phrase means.
Marta Vicente, assistant professor of history and instructor of the History of Feminist Theory course, said she's not sure what "Girl Power" is, but she knows what the Snice Girl's look like.
"The body is a powerful tool sexually," Vicente said. "Women use it more than men do. I just wish there could be more options for role models for young girls."
Stephanie Bishop, Lawrence sophomore and member of the women's rugby team, said the team used a different brand of girl power.
"We listen to mostly heavy metal or rap before games," she said. As for the Spice Girls: "I just wish they weren't so obnoxiously stupid."
Though the Spice Girls are big on "Girl Power," they are definitely not girls themselves. It becomes evident during the opening scene of the movie, where the scantily clad quintet sings a silky rendition of "Too Much," that these
are women - fully grown, fully developed women
a silicon touch, we do not know. We have guess though.
It's a proven formula for success (e.g. Charlie's Angels, Baywatch and the majority of USA Network programming). Seemingly mindless, yet admittedly beautiful, bimbs parade about in a variety of tight, short and apparently waterproof outfits.
It's not that the Spice Girls are completely devoid of charm. Ginger Spice, a.k.a. Geri, a.k.a. Geraldine Halliwell, a.k.a. the redhead, emerges as the smart one, always spouting off some useless piece of trivia. Sometimes she's wrong — the largest fish in the world is not the manta ray (it's the whale shark) — but that's OK. I doubt Ginger's looking to get that biology degree.
Despite all the skin, the movie still lacks in a number of other categories. Actually, it lacks in all the other categories.
advice for the Spice Girls' man-
The most blantat of the movie's offenses is that it is cheaply made. Any scene not filmed either on location in London or in their cavernous, ultra-British peace, love and goodwill spreading double-decker tour bus looked like it had the budget of a Saturday Night Live skit.
The unfunny Roger Moore plays a big-shot record producer recluse, known only as "Chief," who checks in throughout the movie with meaningful cryptic
The villain of the movie, a sleazy muckraking newspaper mogul, plots the eventual downfall of the blissfully ignorant Spice Girls from what appears to be a cubicle on the fifteenth floor of an apartment building.
ager, played by Richard Grant of L.A. Story, Twelfth Knight and Bram Stoker's
Dracula fame.
Supposedly, when the time came to cast the movie, the Spice Girls had a list of movie stars and celebrities as long as the Spice Bus. Writer Kim Fuller, who happens to be the brother of the band's recently canned manager, Simon, said the response from actors in both the United States and the U.K. was overwhelming.
The alleged string of celebrity guest appearances begins and ends with Elton John.
Fuller lied.
The cast had a few memorable faces that have been known to get a laugh or two. However, 10 seasons on the most beloved sitcom in the nation's history, Cheers, could not make George Wendt funny in Spice World. And between his experiences with Saturday Night Live and The Kid's in the Hall, comedian Mark McKinney could do only so much with his role as an idiot writer.
There is no plot outside of "Oh no, those zany and indomitably spontaneous Spice Girls are going to be late for their own show again!"
Even by eight-year-old standards the writing wasn't that funny. The kids didn't even wait around to watch the postmovie Spice Girl action during the credits.
There is probably nothing wrong with having a little sister or brother that enjoys the Spice Girls.
But beware: However long a kid is involved with hardcore pop music, there will be an equally long backlash period of black concert T-shirts, big hair, and bands that use vermil in their names.
Harrington can be reached by e-mail at: tharrington@kansan.com
SPICE ON THE STREET
Katie Divebiss,
Iowa City, Iowa,
freshman:
"I would be 'Lazy
Spice.'
If you were a Spice Girl, what would your nickname be?
Katie Doden, Tulsa,
Okla., freshman:
"I would be
Drafting Spice,
because that's what
they call me in
design studio."
COLLEGE
BOWL
sponsored by the Rec & Travel Committee and Lambda Sigma honors society
COME BE A PART OF OUR TRIVIA WORLD SATURDAY. FEB. 7
SIGN UP IN SUA OFFICE FIVE PERSON TEAMS/$25 PER TEAM HTTP:WWW.UKANS.EDU/~SUACALL 864-3477 FOR MORE INFO.
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For more information, call Liz or Julie at 749-5768.
Come meet the team at a
CHILI FEED
Saturday, Jan. 24 at 1 p.m. at Johnny's Tavern.
EVERYONE'S WELCOME!