4 Friday, August 27,1993 OPINION UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN VIEWPOINT THE ISSUE Congress recently appropriated $7.7 billion for flood relief amidst deficit debates. THE BACKGROUND The "500-Year Flood" this summer caused more than $10 billion in damages and displaced over 100,000 people. The flood clean-up efforts will cover nine states, and emergency appropriations will not be available until after the end of the federal fiscal year on September 30. Kansas has suffered more than $2 billion in property damages and only 20 percent of those who are eligible for flood insurance have it. THE OPINION Congressional gridlock preventing flood relief The sites of the raging Mississippi River and human suffering have faded from the media and the minds of many Americans, but the misery of those with homes and businesses devastated by the "500-Year Flood" is far from over. Unfortunately, Congress has turned the need for disaster-relief appropriations into a fight over deficit reduction and pork-barrel legislation. The clean-up effort is going to be much more extensive and costly than previous disasters such as Hurricane Andrew and the San Francisco earthquake, but the emergency disaster appropriations have been surrounded by more controversy than any of the previous disasters. Democrats and Republicans alike responded to the needs of victims by fighting over how much the appropriations were going to hurt deficit-reduction efforts. The indifference Congress has displayed reflects a frightening loss of compassion. Those without flood insurance can expect only a maximum of $11,900 in grants and loans. This is devastating and inadequate for any family with little or no financial reserves to fall back on. There are also those who are unemployed because of damages to businesses. Any delay in aid to these victims is embarrassing and should be a flag for change in the way disaster funds are distributed. If Congress allocated a larger amount of emergency contingency funds within the budget,political bickering caused by emergency appropriations could be avoided. Federal agencies would be able to distribute aid to victims faster,and those in need could be left out of the politics and given the chance to put their lives back together. EISHA TIERNEY FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD KU computer system should be renovated The University of Kansas prides itself on its excellent facilities. Unfortunately for students who need to use a computer, KU falls short. Computer labs are hard to find, overcrowded and divided among many departments, each with their own policies. Many of the labs contain outdated equipment. The University should make more of an effort to standardize lab operations, better publicize lab locations and update equipment. A glimmer of hope was provided by last semester's opening of a lab on Daisy Hill. Unfortunately, this lab is only open to residents of the Hill. Because of that rule, the lab is underused. This lab should be made available to all KU students. Budget constraints make it hard to improve everything; however, computers are very important in this competitive world, and KU should make an effort to provide students with the tools they need. MIKE SILVERMAN FOR THE EDITORIAL BOARD Test your compatibility with a motor vehicle If I could pick one time, as I'm often asked to do, when I really hold disgust for my fellow human beings, it's when I'm at the wheel of my decked-out 1979 brown Honda Accord. Out on the open road, breathing the fresh air next to the nitrogen plant outside Lawrence and dealing with stupid, no, make that extraordinarily ignorant drivers. 1 estimate that roughly 35.6 percent of drivers have some difficulty operating a motor vehicle, while 16.9 percent are completely incapable of driving. To understand how these people got authorization to drive, I only need think of my own driving beginnings. In a rush to obtain my license, I failed to pass my driving test — twice (I would have passed the first time but inadvertently ran a hidden stop sign. They're tough on those things.) The height of my dismay came when my father remarried and we moved into the heart of Leawood, which is, deservedly so, the home of the national headquarters for STU PID (Should Try Using Planes instead of Driving). People in Leawood, especially between 3 and 7 p.m., apparently forget that other people exist in this world. I made this conclusion after noticing that a Leawood driver will turn, change lanes, etc., regardless of whether someone is, oh, say, right next to them. STAFF COLUMNIST Unfortunately, STDs (stupid drivers) aren't confined to Leawood. If that were the case, I'd just never go home. No, SDs are everywhere, waiting to prey on unassuming GDDS (good drivers) at all times. So as a service to the community, I've devised the following test to determine your degree of driving stupidity, or to be less harsh, "incompatibility with an automobile." See if any of the following situations ring a bell: 1) You are behind a car and an exit you wish to use is a half mule or less away. Quickly, you jump to the passing lane and reach at least 78 mph to win the "Exit Race." You arrive there 0.9 seconds ahead of your expletive-shouting opponent and remark, "Man, what a sore loser!" 2) While cruising down 23rd Street, you note that the right lane is closed ahead. Here, it would be a good idea to move into the left lane as GDs are doing. Too bad your brain neurons aren't firing that day, and you pass 21 cars before the lane ends and yourself, "Why won't these jerks let me in?" 3) You're enjoying a drive toward a busy intersection, surprised and thrilled to hear that great song "Aim' Nothin' Gonna Break My Stride" on the headphones to which you are jamming. It's a pity that the light can't hear the song and goes yellow 50 yards before you arrive. Being a sly cat, you know the other lights won't change to green for 0.75 seconds after yours go red, which gives you plenty of time for a "zoom-zoom" through the intersection. You may think you're brilliant — I think you're stupid. If you've caught yourself doing any of these things, you may be at high risk for SDS — Stupid Driver Syndrome. For a full list of symptoms or information on how to get help, send a self-addressed stamped envelope and your key toes: the Zsa Zsa Gabon School, P.O. Box 1234, Leawood, Kan., 12345 or call the toll-free number 1-911-CNT-DRIV. The hardest step is the first step. Don't just do it for yourself, do it for the world. Chris Ronan is a Olander Park sophomore major in radio-television-broadcast. NATIONAL PERSPECTIVE The president's anti-crime package won't reduce criminal activity in U.S. There are some commendable aspects of President Clinton's anti-crime package. For the most part, however, the proposal is more likely to enhance ... Clinton's image as being tough on crime than to actually do much about reducing criminal activity. It's good that the Brady Bill — the five-day waiting period on gun purchases — is once again being pushed. Just as it's good that ... Clinton has, by executive order, added additional foreign-made assault style handguns, such as the Uzi, to the list of proscribed weapons, and made it more difficult to become a federally licensed gun dealer. tinely execute criminals. Beyond that, the president offers little. Expanding to 50 the number of federal crimes calling for the death penalty, as ... Clinton asks for, will almost surely do little to deter criminals. That, at any rate, appears to have been the experience of the several states that still rou- Nor will the expenditure of $3.4 billion on 50,000 more police officers like do much... A more fundamental objection to Washington financing a total of 100,000 police officers is that fighting crime — especially violent crime — is almost wholly a local concern. In the first place, the local governments know best their own crime problem and how best to confront it ... With rare exception, American cities of all sizes can afford to pay for this most basic service themselves. Why should the federal government get involved at all with putting officers on the streets? ... Crime is a serious problem, and this country needs an effective anti-crime strategy. The Times Union Albany, N.Y. STAFF COLUMNIST Fee payment can be fun with music, food, games I was standing in the eternal fee-payment completion line when I began wondering how much interest the University collects from the deposits that are paid with the mail-in fee payment system. The lines were long, the ballroom was hot, and I couldn't even see the front of the line. I read my class schedule over and over, looked around and saw hundreds of unhappy faces. Not a smile in sight. SCOTT GILLASPIE So, I thought, why doesn't the University use some of the money they pocket from the deposits to provide entertainment? It was a far-fetched idea, but when you're standing in a line that stretches from one end of the Union Ballroom to the other, you think about a lot of things you could be doing. What about music? With all that money, I don't mean a local band, although that would be much better than nothing. Bring in a major group. We waited all last year to see who would be the headliner for Day on the Hill after they brought us Pearl Jam in 92. Then there was no major group last year, so maybe they can make up for that by giving us someone to listen to at fee-payment completion. Or maybe we could have a carnival-style system. As you go through the line, you pass different games you can play with a chance to win prizes. You can have a dunk tank where you have a chance to soak some important University people, like the chair of the math department or that English professor that you didn't like. You could win prizes like bookstore discounts, coupons for free food, or maybe even a parking pass (Right. Like Parking Services would actually give something away for free). When you get to the end of the line you pay your fees or get your refund, go to the bookstore and spend a couple of hundred dollars on books, and then go home and order the pizza that you won for throwing a football through a hoop. Another thing I thought of was the use of celebrities. We could have sports stars and actors working the tables. You can present your student ID to Michael Jordan and then get in line to write out your check to Demi Moore. Your work-study authorization card would come from Andre Agassi or Julia Roberts. Again. But, stepping back into reality ... we'll always have to endure that one day each semester of waiting in lines to pay our remaining fees, only to be told that we're in the wrong line. The University will get our deposits and accrue the interest, overcharge us for books, and then charge us to park on a campus where the closest lots seem miles away. But then we'll get a break. We'll have a few months until many of us have to do it all over again, with no music, no food and no games, just several long lines and an hour or two of complete frustration. It was about 12:30 p.m., and I hadn't yet eaten lunch. Why couldn't they deliver a few pizzas for those of us waiting in line? Just call Pizza Hut, order a few dozen pizzas and hey, I'm sure time would pass much quicker. Maybe a few six-foot party subs would be nice also. Don't forget the Coke. Scott Gillespie is a Topeka sophomore majoring in English. KC TRAUER Editor JOE HARDER, CHRISTINE LAUE Managing editors TOM EBLEN General manager, news adviser BILL SKEET Technology coordinator KANSAN STAFF Reporters *assistant to the editor* ... J.R. Claiborne News ... Stacy Friedman Editorial ... Terrie McConkey Campus ... Ben Grove Sports ... Kirsten Grogue Photo ... Kip Chin, Renee Rosenwald Kobe ... Era Wolfe Graphics ... John Paul Fogel Web Rules Assistant Editors Associate editorial ... Colleen McCain Associate campus ... Dan England Assistant campus/planning ... Jess Delwain Associate sports ... Todd Bellert Copy Chiefs Allison Lippert ... 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