UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN The official paper of the University or GEORGIE MASON...Editor-in-Chief RICHARD MANER...Managing Editor J. EARLE MILLER...Sporting Editor JACK AUSTEN..Arm.Ast. EARLY POTTER...High School Editor EDITORIAL STAFF BUSINESS STAFF IRE K. LAMBERT... Business Manager J. LEISHEN... Aest. Asset Manager D. DARK... Bank Manager REPORTORIAL STAFF STANLEY PINKERSON WARD MARIS JONES KORN HAYE KRONE JOHN SULLERS HAKE HOUSTON Entered at 12:45am and second-class mail matter arrived at 7:45pm. Attendance waived. Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March Subscription price $2.00 per year, in advance, one term, $1.00, time subscription. $2.50 per year, one term $1.25. Phones: BKell, K J 8., Home 1165. In published in the afternoon, five times by the press. The department was kansas, from the press of the department Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. Lawrence. FRIDAY, MAY 24, 1912. The best way of recognizing a benefit is never to forget it.—J. J. Barthelmey. JOB-GETTING MADE EASY Among the numerous and various courses offered in the new catalog there is not one that will help a graduate get a job once he matriculates into the university of hard knocks. And what shall it profit a man, if he gaineth the world's knowledge, and it findeth him not an opportunity to keep old Professor Wolf from his faculty? The first thing that man must do when he takes up the cares of the world is to get a job. And not one of his college courses will help him to do this. His Public Speaking may help him after he gains entrance to the private office, but not even a "I" in "Banking and Business Methods" will get him inside. Why not a course in Position Securing? Two hours credit, with special courses for law, engineering, and pedagogical students. A laboratory might be added—no doubt the local business men could be induced to contribute their favorite methods of getting rid of job-hunters. It is safe to say that such a course would quickly become the most popular one on the "hill" and the one of the most practical and useful to the graduate. After formulating its ideas of the ideal quiz and getting them princed the faculty will proceed next week to hand out the same old kind. But, on the other hand, the fact that they are at last thinking about the ideal quiz is a hopeful sign. And to continue on the same trend of thought is it the height of safety to assume that the faculty's ideal exam will not coincide with the students' ideal ditto. "PARDON ME, BUT—" The Bill collector is one of the inconveniences and hardships of college life that goes a long way toward confuring Brother Johnson's theories that American college men sail to a degree on flowery beds of ease. In the fall he is unnoticed as he unostentatiously glides from stude to stude regarding alike the serpulous and the tight. But now, knowing that his days of profit are short in the land he waxes uncomfortably insistent like a like—a well, like a bill collector. And although we know that it is only right to pay one's honest debts, there are times when other things are more alluring to the pocket book than a scrawled "Paid" on a piece of creased paper. But the bill collector is more to be pitted than censured. The Kansan knows. It still has a few back subscriptions to come in. buildings, indeed in one so disreputable and so downright ugly that if it were on the campus proper it would be torn down before this. It is not even comfortable in cold weather, and leaks when it rains. ART IN A GARRET But these facts speak very highly for the industry and application of the Fine Art students. If they habitually glanced up from their work, or were in the habit of taking their minds off their studies it is certain that they could not endure the depressing and disheartening sight of the ancient eyesore in which they are confined. It is not fair to the Fine Art students to ask them to continue longer in their present quarters. The drawing classes found inspiration, the hand maid of hard work, so sadly lacking in the barren walls of old North College, that they never would consent to study there. The other art students not wholly dependent on the sense of sight for their impressions, could shut their eyes from time to time, and so have been able to endure even to this day. But why ask them to remain longer? Why not bring them over to the campus and house them in a tasteful and comfortable classroom. The days of art in a garret are past. Poverty, chill quarters and isolation are no longer considered necessary to the development of an artistic temperament. Besides poverty, chill quarters and isolation are very scarcen in Kansas. Why should they exist at its University? Oh, the irony of it! This is Student's day, and at one thirty by the clock the first final quiz was dedicated. THE AMERICAN UNIVERSITY THE AMERICAN UNIVERSITY Owen Johnson has denounced the American University of today, as being merely a social center where the youth of the higher classes acquire a social polish, and the poorer students absorb a contempt for social order and government and the functions of the state. He says that the old methods of teaching which have not appreciably changed in the past generation are not the best means of infusing culture into the mind of the modern student; hence as an educational instrument it is a failure. It seems almost incredible that the stood and appreciated; in the mean School of Fine Arts, the home of while gathering from an intelligent budding esthetic genius and a love of contemplation of the world's advance, the beautiful, should be housed in whatever of contemporary learning the most unsightly of the University that is worthy of presentation. And now Brian Hooker, literary critic and playwright, comes forth with the statement that the "great virtue of our universities is that they are not up to date; that they do not reflect the confusion of the outside world." These opinions are on their face contradictory. One critic objects, because the American Universities do not keep up with European methods of instruction in general information. The other wants the universities to be the treasures of the collective knowledge of the ages. He wants them to stand still and be the milestones that show where modern thought is leading. Both of these opinions are from careful students and they are worthy of consideration. There is merit in each. It is true that many students do not get all they can out of college life, and that others get only a superficial polish. But, it is also true that a college could easily become too conservative, that it could become so thoroughly saturated with the traditions and conservative ideals of the past that its graduates would be completely out of touch with the present day conditions. One must conclude, then, that the proper course is a middle one. The University should conserve old traditions, which have alone made possible the accessibility of the vast sum of human knowledge that makes the world as we know it today, and at the same time it should keep in touch with modern conditions. Thereby it will be able to present to mankind the wisdom of the ages in a form that can be understood and appreciated; in the meanwhile gathering from an intelligent contemplation of the world's advance, whatever of contemporary learning it is worthy of presentation. Phyllis—As soon as I began to talk. Harold kissed me. THE SAD, SAD GRIND OF OUR COLLEGE LIFE Dorothy—What did you tell him? Phyllis —That I would never speak to him again. —The Charrapal. From Poor Richards Proverbs. He who dances must pay the piper. " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " laundryman confectioner Ditto etc, as infinitum. Claude—Won't you let me kiss you? Maude—I—I don't know. Claude—Well, let's put our heads together and think it over. —Columbia Jester. The Rector—Now, Molly would you rather be beautiful or good? Molly—The first, Lillian Russell says there is money in it. —The Minne-Ha-Ha. First Noise—Gee! but Prof. Bliss has got a small disposition. Second Student—Why? First Noise—He's all the time talking about molecules. "Is he fat?" "Well, every button works." —Lampoon. Prof.-Fools often ask questions that wise men cannot answer. Lampoon. Punch Rowl. The Minne-Ha-Ha. Stude—I guess that's why I flunk so many exams. The Rough One—Did youse tell Mike I was doisy liar? The Soft One—No; I thought he knew. —the Widow. Klug—Ever read “Looking Back wards?” Stung—Yes, once in an exam, and I was canned for it. HOULD UNIVERSITIES LEAD MORE THOUGHT Brian Hooper, in Bookman for May Refuses Owen Johnson's Argument in "Stover at Yale." Brian Hooker, in a review of Owen Johnson's "Stover at Yale" in the Bookman for May, appends to the discussion of the book as a literary work some reflections concerning the questions raised by the book regarding the true functions of a university, and what constitutes a real university education. "Education is not the implanting of a thirst for knowledge," says Mr. Hooker. "The Yildish immigrant has a thirst for knowledge already implanted; but he is not cultured nor ever will be. Neither is it an accumulation of facts; that is the trouble with Mr. Johnson's twenty questions. A man who could answer all of them and more might be wholly uncultured; and an oriental philosopher could not answer any of them. "Education is exercise; and you can develop the mind by any course of study, just as you can develop the body by any kind of exertion. But whether or not either by triling with all exercises at once, without exerting your at all." "Of course it is only his collective memory that raises man above the animal: the ape of each generation shakes himself free from the past, and remains an ape. And if our colleges are not to act as conservatories of tradition, it is hard to say where the racial memory is to be conserved. A university, like a cellar, is a good place to keep things in, because it is warmer in some seasons and cooler in others. “Mr. Johnson wants the universities to be leaders of modern thought. Perhaps it would be better for them to stand firm and show whither modern thought is leading. Certainly it is well for them to rest apart from the clamor and chaos of the market-place, clositors of scholarship and tradition, walled gardens of idealism, lists where a boy may try himself in tournament before he goes forth to battle among men.” "Greeks have been educated upon philosophy and gymnastics, prophets upon fasting and meditation, mediavails upon logic and dead tongues. Americans remain uneducated upon an elective smattering of universal facts. "Our educational system fails to educate simply because it is not a system. And the colleges in extending electives have been moving steadily away from education toward popularity." "The great virtue of our universities is that they are not up to date, that they do not elicit the whole confusion of the outside world, nor echo every breath of Babel." FRIENDSHIP OF BOOKS The scholar only knows how dear these silent yet eloquent companions of pure thoughts and innocent hours become in the season of adversity. When all that is worldly turns to dress in glamour, the friend's steady value. When friends grow cold, and the converse of intimates languishes into vapid civility and commonplace, these only continue the unaltered countenance of happier days, and cheer us with that true friendship deceived hope nor deserved sorrow. THE WEST POINTER HAS A SPEECH ALL HIS OWN The Plube, However, Before Using The Coveted Pharseology, Must Eat Twenty-Five Prunes at a Sitting "Several articles have appeared in the Daily Kansan recently concerning slang," commented John H. Dykes a West Pointer who is taking special work in the College this term, "but I believe that at the Point we have the most complete slang vocabulary to be found." WASHINGTON IRVING. THE PRUNE QUI? "In fact," he said, "we have two complete languages, the English (spoken in the académic halls) and slang (spoken elsewhere). A Plbeo, that is a Freshman, is allowed to use no cadet table-slang until he has qualified by eating twenty-five prunes for desert at one meal. By the way, the highest individual record in destroying prunes at one sitting is eighty-nine. "The Howitzer" is the book published annually by the cadets and corresponds to the "Jayhawker" of the University. In the back of the book, there are dictionary containing all slang expressions with appropriate illustrations." THE REWARDS OF THE MUSEUM The following is a list of a few of the substituents for the English language which Mr. Dykes remembered: "drag," o accompany, for example, to "drug" a girl to the hop; "spoon," to entertain her ladies; "boneoid," one who studies; "pleebar," freshman; "yearlings," sophs, or wise men; "B.A." busted aristocrat, or one reduced to ranks; "max it," to make a high mark; "cold fess," complete打嗨; "hive," to understand or to be caught in the act; "spee," to memorize; "slug," a heavy punishment; "tac," Tactical officer; "bootick," a stand-in with the Tazr; "Flirtion Avenue," popular with the ladies — no place for a plbee; "to come with a jerk," to wake up, to pay attention; " Sound off," speak up; "skinned," reported for an offense; "grind," something funny; "goats," tail-enders; "B. J.," bold before June; "writes," semi-annual examinations; "pipe, dream," B-ache, explanation for an affense; "pink tea," a Plbee ing himself; "P. C.," previous condition of servitude, your occupation before entering the Point; "L.P.," lost beach, for an affense; "pink tea," a Plbee ing himself; "P. C.," previous condition of servitude, your occupation before entering the Point; "L.P.," lost beach, for an affense; "pink tea," a Plbee ing himself; "P. C.," previous condition of servitude, your occupation before entering the Point; "L.P.," lost beach, for an affense; "pink tea," a Plbee ing himself; "P. C.," previous condition of servitude, your occupation before entering the Point; "P. S.," pleasure seeking; "bugle," to hold a private conversation with a blackboard for an entire period to keep from reciting; "brace," to assume a military attitude, applied to Plebes; "pred," predecessor; "trou," trousers; "spooney," neat; "fried coffee," coat of arms of the academy; "Gunners," tea, water and milk corps, official title of Plebes at the table; "soiree," an unpleasant duty; "buboise," infantry drill; "podunk," your home town or paper; "citizen," any one not a cadet "skag," cigarette a la West Point; dear "to eat," growly, catup. Fresh—You'll crack nothing. —Punch Bowl. Soph—Go on, you Fresh, or I'll crack you on the head. "Were you out much for athletics this year?" "A good deal. I bought a season ticket." —The Widow. "In the Spring the young man's fancy, Has been trided with so much energy." Will most surely need a crutch. —The Widow. Some men will learn more in a country stage-ride than others in a tour of Europe.—Dr. Johnson. Convrieht Hart Schaffner & Marx Play Ball! Batter Up! You're the umpire, you decide whether or not we're showing the finest lot of suits in town. Hart Schaffner & Marx new spring novelties; smart English soft roll sacks in fancy tweeds and cheviots; Varsity and young men's Shape-maker in serges and fine worsteds. It's a great game; and you'll win every time you play it here. Knox Straws After investing in one Knox hat men will go out of their way to find Knox hats season after season. Why not get into the ranks of the faithful? ONE PRICE PECKHAM'S ONE PRICE Knox Straws $3., $4. and $5. Others 50 cents up. Six Store Buying Spells Saving for You THE FLOWER SHOP $ 8 2 5 \frac{1}{2} $ Mass. Street Phones 621 US The Peoples State Bank If thinking of travelling in this country or over the seas, call in and ask us about our Traveler's Cheques. Convenient and everywhere acceptable. Business College Write for our beautiful illustrated outatacus classroom book. Students attend a school room talk, shows students at work and as usual participate in a competition for a good position at Lawrence Business College. Lawrence, K. Lawrence Business College, Lawrence, K. Summer Money. summer a number of young men who want to join our line. No capital is required and our line is average of a dollar an hour. Write in综合楼 American Aluminum Mfg Co. Lemont, Ils We are the man- ufacturers of the well. k own brand of "1802" ALUM I N UM WARE. Everly Ed. Anderson's restaurant Finest Sunday Dinners Handled ******* Household Moving FRANCISCO & CO. Boarding and Livery Auto and Hacks. Open Day and Night Carriage Painting and Trimming. Phones 139 608-812-814 Vermont St. Lawrence, Kansas. We have Gone Back to Our Old Prices Peerless Cafe 906 Mass. Street. BASE BALL Athletic Supplies Kennedy & Ernst 826 Mass. St. Phones 341 Subscribe for the Daily Kansan Now.