UN I V E R S I T Y D A I L Y K A N S A N
Tuesday, May 3, 1994
(6)
7B
DIVORCE
Twenty somethings were raised while marriages failed at a record pace.
The legacy of broken families
by Terrilyn McCormick
When our generation was growing up, families were a crumbling institution. And we watched them fall down around us. Whether we wistified through the rubble of our parents' divorces or dodged, the dangers of being home alone, that never-failing institution — the family — was breaking up at a record pace.
About 40 percent of our generation were children of divorce. If we weren't the first generation forced to cope with the reality of broken families, we certainly were the first to feel its impact. Chances are, every one of us was either a child of divorce or had a close friend who was.
But the high statistics of divorce may not have scarred our generation as much as the chroniclers of the '90s would have us believe. Even those who have been affected are not necessarily damaged for life.
"The gloom and doom stories about children of divorce are somewhat exaggerated," said Donna Ruane Morrison, research associate at Child Trends, a nonprofit research firm in Washington D.C. The firm researches children and the family.
Children of divorce are resilient. They make do with the situation, adapt and move on, Morrison says. She admits divorce may be rough on children, but in the majority of cases, the kids eventually turn out fine.
Erin Duffy is one of those children. She was in seventh-grade when her parents divorced.
"At the time of the divorce, I was hurt and scared," she says. "I don't think that I really understood what was going on."
Duffy's first experience with divorce wouldn't be her last. Her mother remarried and divorced again. Duffy says her childhood was less than ideal but that it had made her a stronger person.
"On the whole, I think that I have been through a lot, and I'm really proud of myself," Duffy says. "I understand life. I know how to handle some of those tough situations. In some cases, I feel I am better off."
The reasons behind the explosion of divorce rates in the 1970s and 1980 vary, Morrison says: more women entering the work force than ever before, the redefining of gender roles and laxer divorce laws.
It was also, in part, due to changing attitudes about marriage and children that were surfacing, says Shirley Hill, assistant professor of sociology.
"People were rethinking the idea of marriage," she said. "A lot of people were beginning to believe the family was an unstable institution."
Even though divorce filings were at an all-time high, 60 percent of our generation were raised by parents who didn't divorce.
Peter Johnston, Lawrence senior, is in that majority. His parents have been married for 27 years, and he claims that their solid relationship has made an impact on his educational success at KU and his future. Johnston, who will begin law school in Fall 1994, was president of the Beta Theta Pi fraternity and will be an intern in Sen. Nancy Lance Kassebaum's office in Washington D.C., this summer.
"It was an unimaginable," he says. "I never even thought about my parents getting a divorce. It just wouldn't happen. In fact, I don't see myself getting a divorce."
Right now, our generation is claiming that it will be more family oriented. We are saying that our divorce rates won't be as high as those of our parents. But the reality is that the odds are against us.
And people who are from divorced families are statistically more likely to get a divorce, Hill says. Children repeat the patterns set by our parents.
"And people might be saying verbally that they are not going to get a divorce or are going to focus more on the family, but it is much too early to say if that is the case," Hill says. "Mainly because most of them are not married."
Erin Duffy wouldn't trade her mother for June Cleaver.
"My mother would never be named 'Mother of the Year', and she didn't make for an easy, normal, well-adjusted childhood," Duffy says. "But I've learned from what I've been through, and I've learned from all the bad. It makes me the person that I am today. I wouldn't take back any of those experiences."
Duffy survived her parents' divorce, which was prompted by her mother's affair with her psychiatrist. And after her mother's second divorce, Duffy moved in with her father and stepmother.
During part of Duffy's childhood, her mother was addicted to medication and alcohol. And Duffy was expected to raise her little sister while her mother was dating, staving out all night and, in general, acting like her teen-age daughter.
Even though Duffy, Prairie Village senior majoring in sociology, admits her childhood was less than ideal, she claims that she is not worried about future relationships.
"My fears aren't toward bad relationships or marriage," she says. "They are more toward turning out like my mother."
But Morrison thinks that our generation could even change the pattern.
"Generation X may turn things around," she says. "They might say that their families are more important than getting ahead at their work. But we just don't know right now. Only time will tell."
"I realize that a marriage takes work and effort," she says. "And, in fact, it is probably one of the hardest things I will ever do. I won't commit to it if I don't think it will work."
For now, Duffy is optimistic about getting married and family life.
THE KU
RESPONSE
What kind of relationship do you want for the future?
No responses were given for the category "No relationships"
Marriage
Living with partner
Casual relationships
Other
No responses were given for
How important are politics in your life?
Not important
Somewhat important
Important
Very important
No opinion
METHODOLOGY
POLITICS
A telephone survey of 190 KU students between the ages of 18 and 30 was done by the Reporting II information gathering class of Paul Wenske, assistant professor of journalism. The students were selected at random from the University of Kansas telephone directory and surveyed between March 10 and 17.
Indifference or ignorance?
The national agenda doesn't inspire our generation. Politicians aren't worth our time.Maybe we'll grow into it like our parents did.
Political candidates primp and pander to get our attention. But if those same politicians would just stop and listen to what we have to say, they may find we're really not indifferent. We just see them as irrelevant
Generation X dogma says we're appatient whiners when it comes to politics and social activism. We only care about issues when it's convenient, pop pundits report. Conventional wisdom says that to get our vote, politicians might have better luck hooking the election booth up to the cable remote.
But others recognize how little time and interest we have in the so-called "national agenda."
"Young voters haven't experienced the connection of politics to their lives," says Ken Collier, assistant professor of political science. "Politics do not become important to people until later in life, when they start jobs and pay taxes."
Statistics from the 1992 presidential election show that voters between 18- and 24-years-old voted less than any other group. But this voting bloc has had the lowest turnout throughout history.
"Even during the 1968 and 1972 elections, where you would expect the student vote to come out, it was still far below the population average." Collier savs.
The turnout in 1972 among presidential voters our age was only 50 percent, compared to 63 percent among all voters. In 1982, after a steady, 20-year slide, about 40 percent of all 18- to 24-year-olds voted for president.
When do we really care about elections? When the issues affect us directly. We've been labeled as passive about politics. But then again, our government isn't drafting our friends or arresting us for civil obedience. We're working on winning the smaller battles now.
Making voters aware of some of these worries has been the focus of Third Millennium. Founded last year by a group of twentysomething upstarts from New York, this new breed of political group says it wants to change government by working with the system, not against it.
"The most energetic politics I've ever seen was when they raised the drinking age in Texas a few years back," Collier says. "That's when 18-to-21-year-olds become involved: when they're voting on something they can relate to."
A middle-class tax cut happens to other people. Capitol Hill seems like a foreign country. We've got our own problems.
"Third Millennium's goal is to try to educate our generation by focusing on issues that would affect us," says Matt Jordan, founder of the group's KU chapter, the first college chapter in the nation. "Our issues aren't necessarily in the mainstream at the time. Maybe we have a certain idealism to the problems facing the country."
an example to the problems facing the country:
Third Millennium's issues run the gamut from fiscal conservatism to youthful idealism; cutting the deficit (before we all go broke), tapping into our energy (while we still have some to tap) and voicing our fears of living with less.
By educating voters about the issues our generation should care about, Third Millennium wants to tear us away from MTV and Nintendo and get us to pay attention.
Granted, maybe too much late-night channel surfing has made us lose political focus. When our prime source of news comes from David Letterman and Tabitha Soren, how could anyone expect us to know how to "Rock the Vote?"
by David Stewart
Maybe growing up in the '80s was the problem, Jordan suggests. He says the prevalent political attitudes during
the last decade were less government activism and greater patriotism. As we came of age under Reagan, we may have planted the seeds of our own passivity — another silent generation, distrustful that government could ever work.
"I think our generation is much more cynical," Jordan, Wichita junior, says. "I think it's the legacy we grew up under.
Many of us believe reinventing a government that works won't be easy. Historically, we have faced an uphill battle to make a real difference. Some of us may want to cut Social Security benefits for the elderly or increase student aid for the young.
"The only defining moment that I can think of for our generation was the Challenger explosion. It was an embarrassment and tragedy of government."
"Most students have to worry about their classes or paying for school before they start joining grassroots organizations like Sierra Club," Johnson says. "It's not until you get a job and have some disposable income that you can start sending money or giving time to these organizations."
But students often don't have the time or finances to commit to a political organization, says Paul Johnson, assistant professor of political science and government.
As boomerang kids, more and more of us live with our parents after graduation. Job prospects now range from telemarketing to office temp work. The real, or surreal, world of politics may be the last thing on our minds.
Whether we're left, right or out to lunch, we may see politicians much like those bad infronials: some pesky voices riding the airwaves, ready to be tuned out and turned off.
Of course, getting a job, even getting by, is getting harder for most of us.
in this age of lost causes, lost horizon, and even lost hope, Matt Jordan has found a vehicle for change through grassroots organizing; Third Millennium.
"Third Millennium isn't claiming to be the mouthpiece of our generation," says Jordan, founder of the group's KU chapter. "We're just trying to get them in tune with what's going on nationally and locally."
Even though the media has pasted a label of apathy on us, Jordan says that with our lack of involvement comes ignorance, not indifference. Jordan says we may have more reasons to be bitter about our future, with a $4 billion national deficit, a sluggish job market and a listless government.
"I think our generation is a lot more cynical," Jordan says. "There's a climate now a lot like the '60s, where there's a need for change. But you need solutions; you don't need rhetoric."
"It's a more pragmatic time. We're not looking for a revolution, just a tuneup."
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