Page 4 University Daily Kansan Friday, Nov. 15, 1963 'Oust Lower Classes' Jest Methodist Clergy UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL Methodist ministers are chuckling this week over an irreverent little primer, written by one of their own, on how to improve the social status of their churches. THIS GADGET is fed pertinent data on each parishioner, including ancestry, income, grammar, tailoring, prep school, neighborhood and year and make of car. The computer, digesting this, produces a "visitation rating," which lets the pastor know whether he should make a house call or spend the afternoon on the golf course. Undesirables soon drift away from sheer neglect. "You, too, can have a class church" is the tongue-in-cheek cry of its author, the Rev. Roy Delamotte, a Bible instructor at Paine College, Augusta, Ga. His hints for driving the lower classes out of the church appear in the current issue of Christian Advocate, a biweekly magazine for Methodist pastors and church leaders. Rev. Delamotte describes the imaginary work of CROSS (Crusade to Raise Our Social Status). While most Methodists worry about increasing membership, he says, "The goal of CROSS is the increase class and status by decreasing mere vulgar bulk." CROSS'S most effective weapon in weeding out commoners is something called the "automatic call computer." The pastor's performance is important, too, according to CROSS. He should be addressed as "Doctor" and not simply "Reverend," "Pastor," or "Brother." He should wear a clerical collar at all times, "not just when marrying much-photographed divorces." His sermons should be sprinkled with such words as "ecumenicity" and "existential," and he should cultivate the right pronunciations. Rather than "Saint Pawl," for example, it should be "Ssssst-Pohl!" with a slightly bilious expression and a small explosion of pear-shaped air." THE CLASS-CONSCIOUS congregation wants its pastor to come out strong for racial and economic justice, but only in his sermons. "He will have better taste than to get himself in the papers—or in jail—for joining a slide-in at their favorite ski resort," says the author. Heavy emphasis on history and medieval chants are certain to clear the pews of old-fashioned hangers-on. "In extreme cases CROSS has recommended the sung mass with incense—especially during the hayfever season," he says. "Tricky architecture seems to discourage some of the socially underdeveloped. One pastor writes that he almost never has visitors now because they just can't find the door, but another had the reverse experience, with scores of unwelcomes who thought it was a Howard Johnson's. "CHAPTERS OF UUA (Unfriendly Ushers Anonymous) have helped some churches. Air-conditioned ones may want to try a cold shoulder club. A Trappist group, who bind themselves not to speak to anybody for a year, often goes big with Methodist men. Young people will love a NABOB chapter (National Association To Better Our Beginnings) in which they wear crests on their jackets, study heraldry and dry cut everyone dead." CROSS is having a smashing year in 1963, reports Rev. Delamotte with a sly verbal wink. For one thing, "per capita income is approaching Presbyterian standards." If the Glove Fits- TIPTON, Ind.,-(UPI) The Judge told Jerry Miller and Herman Cook to pick on somebody their own size -- like each other. Miller, 16, a 240-pounder, and Cook, 17, a 190-pounder, chose to box 10 rounds next Saturday rather than spend the next 26 weekends in jail. Convenience is a Garbage Disposal And at such a modest cost . . . One or Two Bedrooms $75 and $85 These units have been newly Provincial Furniture Available All Units Air-Conditioned disposals, etc. decorated — with new drapes, carpets PARK PLAZA SOUTH Ph. VI 2-3416 1912 W. 25th Interviews: Teachers, k-hs, Los Angeles, mid-year and Sept. 64 vacancies. Mr. Barchey, Nov. 20 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. 117 Bailey. Day or Night TODAY Official Bulletin Patronize Your Kansan Advertisers NOVEMBER 15. '63 Jewish Community Center Services, 715 n. p.m., 917 Highland Drive, Refreshm ing Catholic Mass, 5 p.m. St. Lawrence Chapel, 1910, Stratford, Road. Episcopal Evening Prayer, 9:30 p.m. Danforth. TOMORROW (Sat.) Catholic Masses, 6:45 a.m. , 5 p.m. at Lawrence Chapel, 11 Stratford Road Washington, DC 20005 Wollen Sie die Arbeit und das Studium fure inige Studien vergessen? Wollen Sie den Studium zu dem kommen Sie um Sonnabend, den 16. November um 8 Uhr abzuschen zu unten. Die Unterrichtsraum "house" (3 Mellen ostlich der Stadt an der 15th Street) „Unser Motto: Ein Prophilie der Gemütlichkeit Nahere Informationen“ (3 Mellen Whitley V1-2 1689). Dave White (VI 3-6400). SUNDAY Catholic Masses 8 a.m. St. Lawrence Church 9:30 a.m. 9:30 a.m. and 11 a.m. Fraser Theater 9:30 a.m. Faith and Life Seminar. 9:15 a.m. Worship minister. worship. "The Use of Time." Oread Friends Meeting. 10:30 a.m. Dad庙. Everyone welcome. Quaker worship. SUA Chess Club, 2 p.m. Kansas Union. Faculty-Student Pizza Party, 6 p.m. St. Lawrence Catholic Student Center, 1915 Stratford Road. Sunday Evening Fellowship, 5:15 p.m. Women's Center, "Saved or Salvaged." '63 Freshman Class Represents 'Cream of the Crop' of 17 States One out of every 15 KU freshmen was the valedictorian or salutatorian of his high school class, according to a report released by James K. Hitt, KU registrar and director of admissions. The profile of the freshman class of 1963 shows that one in every 24 ranked first in his class. "Of 1911 new freshmen for whom the University had a rank in class." Hitt said, "27.6 per cent ranked in the top 10 per cent, and 46.3 per cent ranked in 20 per cent, and 82.3 per cent ranked in the top half. Seventy-nine freshmen were ranked first in their class; fifty-two were ranked second." A total of 248 different Kansas high schools contributed students to the 1963 KU freshman class. One hundred eight Kansas and Kansas City, Mo., high schools are represented in the class by their first or second-ranked student, some by both. Sixteen out-of-state high schools sent their best or next-to-best graduate to KU this fall, including the valedictorian of Narimsu High, Tokyo, Japan. Thirty-five men and 44 women in the freshman class were valedictorians or co-valedictorians of their high schools. Graduate Student Wins SUA Chess Tourney Jim Dukelow, Lawrence graduate student, won first place over 22 entrants in the SUA chess tournament. The tournament's four rounds were played the past four Sundays. a chess book. Marvin won three games and drew one. Jim McGee, Protection freshman, placed third in the contest with three wins and a loss. Alexis Popoff, Miami, Fla., graduate student, placed fourth with three wins and one loss. Charles Marvin, Lawrence senior and second-place winner, received "It's really simple. Just find a comfortable position and call Independent Laundry. They'll pick-up and deliver your cleaning at no extra charge." For the best in cleaning and laundering services, it's - Independent Drive-In 900 Miss. - Independent Downtown Plant 740 Vt.