56
The University Courier.
Chancellor Snow and quite a number of the faculty have joined the physical culture class.
At the Glee and Banjo Club meeting last Wednesday night a large number of both Clubs were present. For the Glee Club there were an abundance of second tenors and first basses, while there was a deplorable lack of first tenors and second bases. There is still room in the Banjo Club for a number of banjo, guitar and Mandolin players. There are a number of good students in the University having good voices who have not yet tried for the Glee Club. Let all those who sing come out to the next meeting and help make the Glee Club this year better than ever. The Glee Club last year made a splendid reputation, and the Glee Club this year has that reputation to maintain.
All the K. U. boys go to Whitakers when in Kansas City.
New students, Smith's Depot is the place to get your cigars.
Twenty tickets good for bath or shave at Willard's for $2.
All kinds of athletic goods kept at Smith's News Depot. See him before buying.
Tipton, 836 Massachusetts street, is the finest tonsorial artist in town. Patronize him.
LITERARY.
Marriage a Failure.
About five years ago I was with a party of revenue officers who were on the lookout for "moon-shiners" in the mountainous districts of Arkansas. There had been considerable trouble with these breakers of the law of late, and several parties had been resisted by armed forces of the people, and for that reason our party was larger than those which had been sent out before. It would have been impossible for us to have traveled together without the people suspecting our purpose, which would have put an end to all of our prospects. After we had gone some distance into the hills, we separated into four parties, agreeing to meet again at a certain point the next day.
We traveled until it grew dark before we came upon a place where we could put up for the night. The place that we did find was a big house where the owners made a practice of keeping any travelers that might come that way. It was kept by a widow, who had a couple of big sons to keep her company.
After a good supper, we went into the sitting-room and talked with the hostess about the weather and the surrounding country, trying to get any points that we could. But the woman did not seem to know very much about the neighborhood, and could not tell us anything that would help us at all. She seemed to be wonderfully ignorant. At last the conversation began to flag and a couple of the men went off to bed. I turned the conversation to the mistress of the house herself, being rather curious to learn something of her life. After a few common place remarks, I came to the point by saying:
"It seems to me than a young, strong and good looking woman like yourself, being alone in the world, ought to be able to find some man who would make you a good husband."
"No, I guess not," said she. "In the first place, I aint alone, by a long sight. I've got Tom and Nate (them's my boys) living with me, and they are enough for anybody. Then, besides, I've had enough marrying."
"Why," I said, "you haven't been married more than once?"
"Haven't I though? Well I should reckon. I've been married three different times, and I don't want no more on it," and she shook her head decidedly.
"Why, what was the matter?" I ventured to ask. "Didn't you live happily?"
"No, not jist 'xactly. You see my first husband (his name was Binns) war one of these lazy critters as never does a lick of work in their lives. Why he wouldn't even cut wood enough fer me to cook his grub with, and Iaint one of them kind of wimen as believes in working like a nigger for no man. So we used to go for days 'ithout any hot grub, 'xcept what I'd cook fer myself when he warn't around. No, I couldn't stand him; but the Lord helped