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The University Courier.
LITERARY.
A Loafer's Story.
"Don't know him? Why that's 'Crazy Dan.' He's a queer critter, too. Goes around the country and never says a word to nobody, 'cept when he wants to sell some of his traps. You know he's a peddler, and trades all sorts of trinkets to the kids and women folks. He's got a story, too; and if you've got nothing to do we'll sit down on this stump and I'll tell you what I know of it. I reckon I knows as much about it as any fellow that loafs round this landin'.
"When Dan come to Hicksville he were a mighty slick young fellow. He stuck out his shingle-'D. B. Keller, attorney-at-law'and got about all the business there was again', which warnt very much, however. He was an educated man; had gone to college and could talk all the dead languages, and livin' ones too, I spose.
"How'd he get crazy? Well, I'm comin' to that. Just go slow and let me tell it in my own way, for I can't do it in yourn.
"As I was sayin', he was a smart man. He always took the lead in all there was goin' in this town—spoke at all the democratic conventions and Decoration days and such like times. O, I tell you, he war a mighty pert fellow. Could get up any time and make the nicest kind of a speech without ever havin' to think of what he war goin' to say. He took board and room at my house, and all the gals in town would allers come up by my place when they went walkin' on Sundays, and when they was all fixed up in their best clothes and looked their slickest. They all had their caps set for him, but it warnt no use. He warnt goin' to be took in by none of them common gals as had never been further than ten miles down the river away from home.
"He worked powerful hard, did Dan—just set up early and late figurin' at some of his law suits or something of the kind. He was writin' a book, too; but I've forgot the name of it now. But, as I was sayin', he worked like
a nigger and saved up all the money he got. I never knowd of his spendin' a cent that he didn't just have to.
"He used to write considerable many letters too, and they was most always to the same person, but that was about all I could ever find out. You know I can't read much. And every time a down river boat would whistle up round the bend you could see Keller leave his office and wait round for the postmaster to get the mail fixed, so as he could get his letters. He allers got a letter too, and sometimes two or three, and the postmaster's woman said they was from some girl; and I spose she knowd, for she kept pretty close watch on such like things.
"He got a good lot saved up after a while, and at last bought him a lot out on the edge of town and put up a little house on it. He fixed it up pretty fine—lots finer than any house in this town—and of course all the women folks said right away that Keller was sure goin' to get married. You know women will notice all such like. But they was right this time, for after he got his place all fixed up he left on an up river boat, sayin' that he was goin' to be gone some time. He come back after a time, and he warnt alone neither. He brought one of the prettiest, sweetest, little women with him that you ever see. She was so good and nice that even old Mother Simms couldn't say nothin' against her, 'cept that she were a regular doll face; but she warnt that neither. Dan set a heap of store by her. I never saw a man think so much of a woman as he did of her. He left his office lots earlier than he used to before she come, every night, and she used to come half way to meet him and allers kissed him when she got to him. I spose that she got mighty lonesome at the house, for she never went out among the women much.
"Well, to come to the end of my story, he went out home later than his custom one evenin' and she warnt out to meet him; but I reckon that he thought that she had got tired waitin' for him and had gone back to the house. "He hurried home and called to her as he got to the door. Abner Jones heard him. Abner were workin' in the next field. But she never an-