ABE LEVY, THE POPULAR STUDENT'S HATTER AND FURNISHER. 1. No More, Thank You. No More, Thank You. Death is terrible. There are things, however, worse than death; things that harrow up the soul; that tempt the heart with ectatic pleasures only to prove in the end a hollow mockery, which dres up the dearest ambitions of youth, and wilts his best shirt. What we have specially in mind is the dress ball. Cover it with any euphonism you please—"symposium," "reunion" or "reception," the dress ball is nothing but inane mockery. Yes, the dress ball is infinitely worse than death, or even the measles. We were invited to a dress ball recently. How we laid awake nights dreaming about that ball—no, that's not it! What we mean to convey is the fact that our slumbers were beautified by visions of the coming event. What sweet visions! We invested 75 cents in a white tie and $1.50 in a pair of pumps of a size that furnishes a lucrative practice to the chiropedist. We anticipated walking down the dark side of the street under the shadows of the hedge and saying sweet things, and at the right time—but never mind what we anticipated doing. It never came to pass. The boys said it wouldn't do to walk—this was a "dress ball"—we must get hacks. We then conjured up pleasures on a somewhat less rapturous scale for the hack. Alas! They didn't come to pass, either. We imagined ourselves sitting at her side keeping off the chilly blast, and our—but never mind what we imagined. It never came to pass. We went in a hack. The hackman abused us because the maiden tarried so long at the mirror while he was waiting. It wasn't our fault, but we pacified the hack fiend with an extra half dollar. Finally she came, be decked with habiliments which courtesy and the maker would call a dress. She said we would have to sit on opposite seats, to keep from ruffling the "dress." Heavens! How we wished ourselves in Iceland. She further said that her satin waist was of very delicate material, and would show finger marks an sleeve prints very easily, so we must be careful not to touch it. Then we wished ourselves in Hades! At last we got to the ball—the dress ball. It took an hour going; it seemed it did, anyway. We went to waltz. She said we must keep at a reserved distance, so as not to crash the bunch of flowers she wore there. "Sheol" is what they now call it—yes, there is where we wished to go. We began to fan her, but "Look out for the frizzes," was uttered in a paralysing tone. Supper hour came. We went to the table bungry as a bear. We listened to some toasts—the dryest toast we ever digested in our life. These through at last, we commenced to eat, but just then the company rose, and we left, with one longing, lingering look at the repast (victuals). We went back to the hall; we call it a "hall," though it seemed like a hall spelled with an "e." Suffice to say, the ball was as elaborate as a circus purade, and as forma as a sleeping-car porter. We endured it till half past three, when it broke up. We also were "broken up," pocket-book, constitution and all Our sweet visions had departed, like the spinal column of our collars and cuffs. We got home—as near as we can remember we got home—though at this point memory gave way. Yea, verily, death is preferable to a dress ball. The next day we all talked about "what a delightful time we had." We talked that, while we thought—but let that pass. There was but one happy man that night—the hackman. Meanwhile we resign all claim on our girl for future "dress balls" to our bitterest rival. May God have mercy on his soul. [Washington University, St. Louis, Mo.] --- It is said that George Washington was very truthful, but his namesake, Washington University, of St. Louis, does not seem to be troubled that way. This school has just begun to advertise, and being short of engravings, has hit upon a happy thought. On the last page of the Kansas City Review for August will be found the old large sized cut of Kansas University, engraved before the front steps were built, and before the ventilating hoods were hoisted. Underneath this picture in large type is the legend: WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY, followed by a flaming description of the pride of St. Louis. This is too much. Lawrence is not a suburb of St. Louis, Kansas University could stand being called the school of plagiarism when a crack-brained essayist copied Matthew Arnold, but she will not let her four buildings be married into the family of the St. Louis dude. She objects to such fond embraces. The dude is lovely, he is winsome, but he is too forward. He must woo before he wins. He must ask on bended knee before his all embracing arms can enfold the pride of Kansas. In reviewing the history of K. S. U., one of the most remarkable features that presents itself is the unbroken good will and generosity of feeling which has ever existed between faculty and students. Never has a member of the faculty been troubled by any lack of courtesy from students. Never have students been compelled to take any measures for the common college movements of redress of grievances. In no college in the United States are students granted greater scholarly liberties of action, given fuller sway as to individual thought or action in college matters, and on the other hand, no college can show a clearer record of courteous, loyal student regard for their school. Last Spring the ground was given by Governor Robinson for an avenue up Mount Oread, and the city council decided to cut and grade it. But Oread Avenue does not avenue with the celerity the friends of the University would like to see it avenue. EXPERIENCE IN BUSINESS We understand the board of regents at their next meeting will take all necessary steps for the securing of a military instructor. CITIZENATES THE FOUNDATION OF Correct Business Methods. This experience can be acquired in only two ways: By service in a business house, and by training at a Business College. The former method fails to meet the requirements of business education, for the following reasons: First, it consumes too much time. The thorough business man has no leisure to instruct "green hands." The inexperienced youth must pick up as best he may, while performing the duties of "general utility hand," sufficient knowledge to insure him promotion to some more responsible position. It is only after years of drudgery that he becomes competent in a single line of business. Much of the time thus spent ought to have been devoted to the public school. Second, but few have the opportunity to acquire experience in this manner. Business men have no use for inexperience. They will not receive it upon any terms except to train employees for their own service. How are farmer's sons and daughters to acquire experience in mercantile houses? Is it supposed that young men and women from our higher institutions of learning will begin as errand hands in retail establishments? This method of learning the ways of business absolutely precludes women from commercial pursuits. Third, the person who gets his business education in a business house learns only the methods of a single house. These methods are quite as likely to be moulded by the eccentricities of the manager as to be based upon general custom or sound reason. Be this as it may, he is bound down to one line of business. Suppose this is not suited to his circumstances or adapted to his taste? The young people of this country will not be best qualified for business by being moulded in a single groove. The way to draw out their capacities is first to teach them principles gathered from the ripest experience in all kinds of trades, and then enforce these as far as possible by practical application. In this method they will acquire a stock of knowledge available for any business and upon any emergency. This is the kind of ex-derience afforded by the BUSINESS COLLEGE. The object of these instructions is not simply to prepare young people to fill clerkships or become book-keepers, as too many believe. The purpose of the public school, college and University, is to impart a general education. That of the business college is to supplement academic studies by a business education. It is to teach young men and women how to preserve for themselves the fruits of their labors, and to develop in them a capacity to apprehend and szee the opportunities that exist in such abundance in this country for the creation of wealth. Business training of this kind is not for any special pursuit. It is the most important part of every person's preparation for useful living. It is within the reach of all, without an undue expenditure of time or money. The parent who does not see to it that his children are equipped for the duties]of life by understanding the principles of systematic business, e exposes them to many temptations and dangers which it is in his power to remove from their way A thorough business education can be gained at the LAWRENCE AND ATCHISON BUSINESS COLLEGES. Address, E. L. McLRAVY, President. Larwence or Atchison, Kan, New catalogue just out. Send for it. Lawrenec Business Directory. SCHOOL STUDENTS Goes South...1125 k. m., and 1:30 p. m. Arrives from St. Louis...1c 45, 1d 45 RAILROAD TIME TABLES. ATCHISON, TOPEKA & SANTA FE. West bound ... 12:05 a.m. and 6:17 p.m. East bound ... 11:43 p.m. East bound ... 4:18 p.m. and 4:55 p.m. East bound ... 3:45 p.m. and 4:55 p.m. SOUTHERN KANSAS. KANSAS DIVISION OF UNION PACIFIC West bound, 11:38 p. m. and 11:55 p. m. To Wamego, 6:12 p. m. East bound, 4:35 a. m. and 4:35 p. m. LADIES' FURNISHING GOODS. L. BULLENE & CO. No. 89 Massachusetts Street GEORGE INNES & CO. No. 109 Massachusetts Street DRUGGISTS. B. W. WOODWARD & CO, Corner of Massachusetts and Henry Sts. BARBER BROTHERS, No. 153 Massachusetts Street. CLOTHIERS. J. HOUSE. J. HOUSE, No. 74 Massachusetts Street. KING CLOTHIER-STEINBERG, No. 87 Massachusetts Street. RESTAURANTS. PERSHALL S, No. 38 Massachusetts Street. HARRIS & CO., Manufacturing Conflictoria, No. 149 Massachusetts Street. WM, WIEDEMANN, No.——Massachusetts Street. FALEY S, No. 167 Massachusetts Street. STATIONERS. A. B. WARREN, No. 111 Massachusetts Street. COAL DEALERS. A. J. GRIFFIN, 199 Massachusetts St. C. L. EDWARDS, No. 141 Massachusetts Street. TAILORS ALEN, PROTSCH, Corner Warren and Mass. Sts J.J. KUNKEL, No. 91 Massachusetts Street. BOOK STORES. S. T. FIELD, No. 99 Massachusetts Street PHOTOGRAPH GALLERIES. J. B. SHANE. No. 125 Massachusetts Street. STUDENTS On arriving in LAWRENCE Should ask to be driven at once to the Lawrence House Where they will be given the best of accommodations until they have secured permanent homes for the year. Street cars will carry you within one block. A. R. MILLS, Proprietor. MILLARD & COOPER'S Billiard Parlor Patronize those who patronise you. THE ONLY FIRST-CLASS PLACE IN THE CITY. Fine Imported and Domestic Cigars. No.600 Mass. St., LAWRENCE, KAN. STUDENTS AND CITIZENS OF LAWRENCE When in Kansas City, should not fall to call upon DR. J. E. GEROULD, DENTIST! No. 618 STL.. KANNS MIO., MO. W. E. YEAGER, FLORIST! WM. WIEDEMANN, New Hampshire Street, just below the post-office, gives the best satisfaction for all kinds of Boquet Washington. The Student's Friend ! Is the coolest and best in the city. ICE CREAM PARLOR In the coworker and host in the glyph. In 1865, established what is now the best and most reliable Confectionery and Refreshment De- partment. His Pure Candies are Unexcelled. Creamas, Icea, Sodas, Lemonades, Candies Nuts, Foreign and Domestic fruits to be found on the market are always on hand. STUDENTS It will pay you to purchase your BOOKS ---（ AND ）--- SUPPLIES S. T. FIELD & CO.'S UNIVERSITY Book Store, 99 Massachusetts Street, [Old number.] LAWRENCE. A. A. RUSS, DENTIST! Over Field & Co.'s Book Store. A discount given to Students. Satisfaction guaranteed. THE WESTERN Farm Mortgage Co. Lawrence, Kan. Money always on hand to loan at current rates, upon desirable real estate. No delays if security is ample and title good. Call and see them before making arrangements elsewhere. L. H. PERKINS, Sec. DR. F. H. WILSON, DENTIST. 135 Mass St., LAWRENCE, KAN. 135 Mass St., LAWRENCE, KAN. First-class Work at Moderate Charges. Col. Walker's Livery turn outs First Class Rigs at most reasonable rates. Go there.