Call on ABE LEVY, Fashionable Hatter and Furnisher, 103 Massachusetts Street.
"Flunking."
The College Courier contains the following description of an art not altogether unknown in Kansas' favorite institution:
The Free Press, speaking of the State University, thus describes the art of "flunking." Either this or the 2nd of bolting is open to the unprepared student.
Imagine a youth with courage enough to attempt the first course! Picture his state of mind for sixty long minutes. He has come totally unprepared, does not know the subject under immediate discussion. He shivers as he takes his seat and counts his chances.
The lesson opens, and he tries to look unconcerned and at ease. The professor begins at A and works through the class alphabetically. Our youth's name begins with G. The professor creeps down the list steadily, and our man is getting more and more excited the nearer and nearer his initial is approached. He glances earnestly at his watch to see if the hour is not up. Only ten minutes have gone. The professor is down to F. The student has alternate spells of intense cold and heat, and can scarcely control himself. He feels that he is nearly doomed. He must make a grand effort for his expiring cause. As the professor is about to call out H, our man stops him and says he doesn't understand the point just given. This only to gain time
The professor stops and explains; the student feels that he has but one chance left, and that is as slim as the burglar's who attempts to discover the combination of a safe by actual trial—one in two billion. But he will try it. He loses no time but pours forth a perfect deluge of questions and awaits the results with fear and trembling. His idea now is to make the professor halt in his cool and systematic way of reeling off the names, and to cause him to skip some letters and begin further down the list. And the professor does skip; he skips to M. So much for tact.
The student is once more at ease, and there is the faintest shadow of a smile playing away back of his ears. But in a moment he is again reduced to despair. The professor has begun calling irregularly, now A, now K, now S. The hour lacks fifteen minutes of being full—fifteen minutes of alternate hope and despair; the delinquent is beginning to wilt along with his collar and is about to give up for the 700th time. The professor calls up I. Oh, how near the lightning struck! The delinquent here makes a solemn vow that should he escape unharmed he will go to the University chapel in the morning, to which attendance is not compulsory, and return thanks. Ten minutes pass, and the last five begin to creep away, perhaps he consults his watch sixteen times! He is safe! No, he is lost! All up! Courage! And then at last the bell rings out the hour; he joyously hears the lesson assigned, and goes out with a smile. He has won, but the victory was dearly gained, and the next time, under similar circumstances, he will bolt.
Professor in Systematic Theology : "Where is the lesson to-day, gentlemen?"
Student: "It begins at good angels and goes to the devil."—Ex.
NOTES.
Cosley's is the place for pleasure.
Seal skin cups at Bromelsick's, and they are cheap.
Nicest place for oysters—Pershall's.
The Mossback cigar and old brands at Winchell's news depot.
T here will be a unique novel at Cosley's rink to-night. Every one attending will have a chance on a superb pair of roller skates.
The first class place in the city for oysters is Pershall's.
C. S. Duncan pays cash for second hand-
University books.
Take your girl to Pershall's for oysters, the only first class place in the city.
Fluke has all the latest music at his musical emporium.
Make a nice present to your girl, of the best music, at Fluke's musical emporium.
Go to Cosley's skating rink, best in the city.
Students should try the famous Coupon cigar at Winchell's news depot.
C. S. Duncan sells and exchanges sec-
ond hand University books.
The nicest toilet sets in town are at Smiths news depot.
Students should try the famous Coupon cigar at Winchell's news depot.
Dandy, dandy dancing shoes at Boyd's.
Albums of latest styles and designs at Smith's news depot.
By going to Cosley's rink to night for your evening's pleasure, you have free of cost a chance to get a fine pair of Henley's skates.
The dull weather has not prevented Capt. Shane from getting up some nice sample work at his gallery.
Pianos rented at low rates by W. W. Fluke.
Young ladies! If you want to buy your gentlemen friends a nice present just go into Bromelsick's and see his fine large stock of ties, caps, silk handkerchiefs, mufflers, etc., etc.
Pictures and picture frames, cheapest and best, at Smith's news depot.
If you want a jolly time go to Cosley's skating rink.
Best winter underwear at Bromelsick's. Finest kind of plush goods at Smith's.
The contest would have come off if all the committeemen had not been so proud of their nobby ties, collars, etc., bought of Bromelsick.
The Mossback cigar and old brands inwat at Winchell's news depot.
The Turkish bath house, on Vermont street, under the proprietorship of Mrs. Hoopes, should be well patronized. Under discouraging circumstances she is supporting it in a way which would be a credit to a much larger place.
[From the city papers.]
At the request of a number of the leading sporting men, Mr. Dan J. Ross, the famous runner, has been induced to remain here until Friday evening, Jan. 9, when the following events will take place on a splendid saw-dust track laid for the occasion:
A Grand Time at the Parlor Skat ing Rink.
Three mile race, open to all residents of the State, for the State championship and a silver cup. Five mile professional race, open to all America, for cash prizes, and for which there are three entries already: John Raine, of Ottawa, champion of Canada, Herbert, the famous English pedestrian, and Dan J. Ross, the popular champion of America. In conjunction with the above, Harry Simmons, the phenomenal young skater, will give a grand exhibition of his skill as a fancy trick skater, in which he has no rival. This grand program cannot fail to attract the greatest house of the season, and will offer a grand treat to the large audience that will undoubtedly attend.
RAILROAD TIME TABLES.
Lawrence Business Directory.
Goes South ... 11:45 a.m. and 8:00 p.m.
Arrives From South ... 16:45 a.m. and 3:57 p.m.
West bound ... 11:39 a.m. and 6:17 p.m.
East bound ... 4:25 p.m. and 5:15 p.m.
East bound ... 3:37 p.m. and 4:15 p.m.
ATCHISON, TOPEKA & SANTA PE.
KANSAS DIVISION OF UNION PACIFIC.
BAYSIDE ATTACHMENT OF U.S. COAST
West bound ... 11:25 a.m. and 11:55 p.m.
W台 Wanameo ... 6:12 p.m.
East bound ... 4:25 a.m. and 4:35 p.m.
TO NEW ORLEANS.
CHICAGO & ALTOON BANK CENTRAL
Chicago & Alton, leaves Kansas City 6:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m. for St. Louis, arriving at 7:00 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. route to Chicago Central direct route.
LADIES' FURNISHING GOODS.
L. BULLENE & CO.,
E. BULLEN & CO.
No. 89 Massachusetts Street.
M. NEWMARK,
No. 105 Massachusetts St.
GEORGE INNES & CO.
No. 109 Massachusetts Street.
L. O. McINTIRE,
No. 163 Massachusetts Street.
GEO. A. HUNT,
81 Massachusetts Street.
DRUGGISTS.
CLOTHIERS.
B. W. WOODWARD, N.C.
Corner of Massachusetts and Henry Sts.
BARBER BROTHERS,
No. 151 Massachusetts Street.
CITY DRUG STORE,
No. 66 Massachusetts Street.
D. F. BIGELOW,
No. 133 Massachusetts Street.
GROCERIES.
FAMOUS,
No. 151 Massachusetts Street.
J. HOUSE,
No. 74 Massachusetts Stree
E. B. GOOD,
No. 71 Massachusetts Street
MULL & ZOOK,
No. 118 Massachusetts Street.
No. 113 Massachusetts Street.
RESTAURANTS.
PERSHALL'S,
HARRIES & CO., Manufacturing Confectioners,
WM. WIEDEMANN,
FALLEY'S,
E. WILSON,
No. 58 Massachusetts Street
No. 149 Massachusetts Street.
No. — Massachusetts Street.
No. 167 Massachusetts Street.
No. 73 Massachusetts Street.
COAL DEALERS.
A. B. WARREN, No.111 Massachusetts Street
FRANK A. DOANE Pacific Express Office.
C. L. EDWARDS, No. 141 Massachusetts Street
BUCKE & CO., North of National Bank
JEWELERS.
C. A. SUTORIUS,
No. 75 Massachusetts Street
C. A. SUTORIUS,
TAILORS
VM. M. ROWE,
No. 132 Massachusetts Street.
J. J. KUNKEL. No. 91 Massachusetts Street.
ALEX E. PROTESCH. Over Barber's Drope Store.
JOHN BOYER,
Near Rahkopf's
MEAT SHOP.
No.93 Massachusetts Street.
S. T. FIELD, No. 99 Massachusetts Street
BOOK STORES.
B. BICKHAM          No. 98 Massachusetts Street.
F. FREDERICKSON
PHOTOGRAPH GALLERIES.
No. 67 Massachusetts Street.
TAMILTON
C. A. PEASE & SON,
No. 140 Massachusetts St.
B. E, Corner Massachusetts and Henry Sta-
A. FREDERICKSON,
No. 157 Massachusetts Street.
J. B. SHANE,
No. 125 Massachusetts Street
A. A. RUSS,
DENTIST!
Over Field & Co.'s Book Store.
M. M. MANLEY,
A discount given to Students. Satisfaction guaranteed.
The Student's Friend.
Star Shoe Store
147 Massachusetts St.
This represents our $3.00 Shoes.
STUDENTS AND CITIZENS OF LAWRENCE
When in Kansas City, should not fall to call upon DR. J. E. GEROULD.
DENTIST!
No. 618 Main St., - KANSAS CITY, MO.
THE WESTERN
Farm Mortgage Co.
Lawrence, Kan.
Money always on hand to loan at current rates, upon desirable real estate. No delays if security is ample and title good. Call and see them before making arrangements elsewhere, Offices.
Office in National Bank building.
L. H. PERKINS, Sec.
IT IS POSSIBLE For a more trifle, to purchase
For a mere trifle, to purchase
Something for a Present
And to have that "something" good—Where?
And to have that 'something' good-Where?
Why at
Woodward's
Woodward's "Round Corner."
MOAK BROS..
Billiard, Pool & Concert Hall.
BRENTON AND FENNEL HALL IN THE STATE.
Imported and Domestic Cigars.
64 Massachusetts Street.
S. HOENE,
Dealer In
Cigars, Tobacco and Smokers' Articles 131 Massachusetts St.
PAT HAMLIN'S Rigs at student's prices. Stable just east
Rigs at student's prices. Stable just east of Post-office.
DELMONICA!
J. H. VESTAL,
Sets the best table in the city for day board. Only
$3.50 per week. Has a Room to rent.
MANUFACTURING
CONFECTIONER!
DEALERS IN
Oysters In their Season in the Best Style.
Fruits, Nuts, &c.
PURE CANDIES A SPECIALTY.
Suppers to order for Clubs, Parties and Weddings on short notice.
169 Mass. St., - LAWRENCE, KAN.
Bookseller and Stationer!
J. S. HAND & CO.,
Extend a special invitation to the students to call and see them. Their Holiday Stock is varied and immense. Remember the place.
Opposite Pierson's Mill.
IN 1868
Special Attention Given to Parties and Entertainment.
I established what is now the oldest manufaculty of
PURE ICE CREAM! Fruit, Ices and Confectionery.
Foreign and Domestic Fruits, Nuts, &c.
I ALSO CARRY A FULL STOCK OF
I have spared no pains or expense in re-fitting my
ICE CREAM PARLOR.
Where I will be glad to serve my customers with.
PURE ICE CREAM
Established Oct. 25, A, D, 1865.
AND FRUIT ICES.
Ice Cream Delivered free of Charge.
Telephone Connections.
WM WIEDEMANN
WM. WIEDEMANN.
Go to the Oldest Largest, Cheapest, and Best
Incorporated July 11, A. D. 1867.
SPALDING'S COMMERCIAL COLLEGE.
"COMMERCIAL BLOCK."
South-west Corner Eleventh and Main Sts., KANSAS CITY, MO.
**86** This large and prosperous institution has Ten elegantly furnished College Rooms, with accommodations for Five Quantum Students, a large and experienced Faculty of Fifteen Teachers, and two Branches of Arts: Fine Arts, Photography, Type-Writing, The Stenograph, Telegraph, Modern Languages, and Brainwriting. Photoprogramming-type-Writing, The Stenograph, Telegraph, Modern Languages, and Brainwriting. **87** The grand commercial Night School begins October 1, 1884, here in New York.
Be sure to visit or address this College for Terms or Circular before going elsewhere.
Cut this out for future reference
J. F, SPALDING, A. M., PRESIDENT;