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SWAPS.
quarter, and that will facilitate matters wonderfully. The literary contains a good article on "What of the Future." Our Business Manager, looking at the advertising department, said the Rambler was the best paper we had on our list, but we must allow for his practical tendencies.
—We are indebted to the A., T & S. F. company for a neatly worded pamphlet on the "Relation of Kansas Railroads to the State of Kansas." It sets forth their true conditions.
The Monmouth Collegian is full of contest. It gives an account of the ladies' contest, held by the ladies' literary societies of that place. It prints a good oration on "Chivalry" by Miss Emma Boyd.
The Emporia Republican and News of the 20th inst. contained grave charges against the students of the University for their action against Geo.Mays, the successful aspirant in the first contest for oratorical honors. They have since seen that the charges were true and admitted the fact. 'Twas intended, in defense of ourselves and the association, to publish in parallel passages the oration and the pilfered matter, but as Mr. Mays has confessed and all has been settled amicably, nothing could be gained by further stirring up the feeling; hence, we refrain.
—The Kansas Review contains an ode "To My Lamp," ostensibly its own, but in fact coming from the Michigan Argonaut.
The Adelphian contains the following syllogism:
Man is a rock ;
Therefore, man is a brick.
- A brick is a rock;
One of our witty "preps," whose mind ran in the same channel, composed the following. You can compare:
Man is made of clay ;
A brick is made of clay ;
Therefore, man is a brick.
THE STEAL PEN. (Stolen.)
—We are going to have our name changed to Opportunity, because leap year is the time when opportunities are embraced by the ladies. -Ex.
—Oscar Wilde asserts that his poetry will be read when Shakespeare is forgotten. Possibly, but not before. Philadelphia Chronicle.
In the meadow eating grass Stood an antiquated ass.
To the brim with careless joy Came along a little boy.
Thought he'd ride upon the mule—
"He knew how, he warn't no fool."
Tried to climb up by the tail Disappeared with piercing wail.
Donkey still cats his burdock—
Boy'll be buried at three o'clock.
This the moral I would send:'—
Look out for donkey's business end.
- Record.
—Query—Why is there such a rage among the ladies for painting frogs? Because it is leap year. -Ex.
—Young ladies, bangs are going out of style We shall soon see just how much intellect you have in your forehead. -Ex.
-A recent advertisement reads as follows: "If the gentleman who keeps the shoe store with a red head will return the umbrella of a young lady with whalebone ribs and an iron handle to the slate-roofed grocer's shop he will hear of something to his advantage, as the same is a gift of a deceased mother now no more with the name engraved on it.—Ex.
—A paper published in Amherst College has the following incident: "He was a senior, and as he fetched up at the bottom of those slippery steps, he ejaculated: Hell (just then a professor came gliding around the corner) is paved with good resolutions." The professor smiled blandly, went to his room, and gave that student ten. Ex.