12
UNIVERSITY COURIER.
During the last sleighing spell, a University student was thrown from a sleigh and severely injured by trying to do what no sane man would have attempted. Not satisfied with an ordinary amount of fun, he determined to sleigh two belles at once. The consequence was that while attempting to drive with his teeth, a skittish horse, it ran away with the result already mentioned.
We insert the following effusion of some astronomical cuss in the Wooster Collegian, hoping that it may be of some benefit to the members of the present Junior class: "I went over intending to spend a long evening with Alice sometime since. As we Saturn her Mars porch in close conjunction, I had just touched my lips to her fair cheek, when the old lady, who had had Orion us, came out, her brow blacker than I've ever Zenith under a cloud. "Jupiter!" she said. "No I didn't, Earth ought to," said I. "You're a Lyra Beta quarter," she said, "and I don't want you coming round to Borealis any more." "If Uranus off—" I dodged and went home, thinking, "a man may planet but he can't comet."
ESTHETIC STYLE.
BANGS.
Of all the "gim cracks" that were devised,
Invented, suggested, rehashed or revised,
By fancy or fashion, to rig out the girls,
Modern "bangs" "take the cake," whether straight or in curls.
GRECIAN BEND.
A few years ago it was another contraption. That set 'em all crazy,and hence was the caption, "Twas a "kink" in the spine just forty degrees Handed down from the classical ladies of Greece.
DON CARLOS HAT.
The last "thingum-bob" is a regular stunner. The Texan sombrero, of which, was fore runner. But these are as broad as the sidewalk to gutter. And when worn on the head are "too utterly utter."
GRIEF.
I am weighed down with grief, and my heart nearly smothers,
When I think of the fate of our ancient grandmothers,
Doomed to live without bangs, Grecian bends, or a hat
That shuts off the view like the sombrero flat.
UTTER WOE.
When I think of these glories, which they were deprived.
I wonder they ever were half so long lived,
Or had so much sense, as they seem to have had,
Without knowing Oscar—it was weally too sad!
Oliver Wendell Holmes.
EXCHANGE.
It is somewhat amusing to observe the outgrowth of the invitation extended to Col. Ingersoll by the literary societies to deliver the annual address. While the University of Kansas is always ready to serve as the object of popularity, yet a feeling of resentment will arise in our breasts when false statements concerning our fair young University and its affairs are made. We say it makes us indignant to find an exchange, printed on the poorest quality of cast off wrapping paper, proclaiming to the college world that "Bob Ingersoll will deliver the annual address before the Seniors of Kansas State University next June." We have no love for this outgoing Senior class, and the idea of accrediting it with honors not belonging to it, is too much for us of humbler rank. Maledictions have been heaped upon our heads by '83 and memories of by-gone days are still fresh in the minds of '84-memories of the smiling,innocent looking Seniors, who one night interrupted the revelries of '84 by presenting to us the most innocent looking cake imaginable, with the words, "Eat, drink and be merry, for to-morrow you may die." We did eat-not much, and will give'83 credit for getting more sand, sawdust, sulphuric acid and other fiendish compounds under a covering of frost and choice candies than the most skillful confectioner would be able to do. But we began this article with the sole intention of bringing a benediction upon the heads of our exchanges. Scarcely had we entirely recovered from the indignation and astonishment that the first announcement caused us, when the next issue arrived with the gratifying news that "Col. Ingersoll is going to lecture before the students of Kansas State University." Later: Another issue of the same exchange is on our table and again we rejoice, for this time Col. Robert Ingersoll is positively "going to lecture before the letterary societies of Kansas State University." Not quite right yet, Bro. exchange, but guess again. We suggest that you consult the editorial columns of the Courier for "pointers."
The leading editorial of the February number of the Buchtel Record says that their last catalogue makes the statement that lectures will be delivered on various subjects before the Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, Senior and Normal classes; also "lectures before the college students on topics of general interest, by persons invited from abroad," but thus far no lectures. The Record demands an explanation. The article on "German University Life" is rather too lengthy for a college paper, but its length is scarcely noticeable to the reader, so fraught with interest is the production.
The College Transcript says O. W. U has tried coeducation for several years and considers it just the thing. "It was our privilege," says the editor, "to stand not many days ago beneath the gray, classic walls of old Kenyon, once the foremost college of the west. Upon the faces of the students, few in number, were stamped in lines too plain to be mistaken, the marks of a dissipated life. A reckless bravado manifested itself in their very gait and vocabulary; while a few minutes conversation revealed the rottenness of the moral fabric."
The February number of our cotemporary, The Kansas Review, contains an article on "Addison," signed by one "F." which for plagiarism is a model of its kind. Whole phrases and paragraphs are taken from Macaulay's Modern British Essayists without any acknowledgment whatever. Other paragraphs have a word or two dropped out, or ingeniously sandwiched, as the case might demand, in order to affect an harmonious connection between his own few and scattered sentences and the more abundant ones of Macaulay. In the edition of 1876, pages 594-623, Macaulay's Modern British Essayists, we find this remarkable similarity to "F.'s" ideas. Macaulay says: "Addison spoke not of a storm, but of the great tempest of November, 1703, the only tempest which in our latitude has