TUESDAY, JULY 20, 1937
SUMMER SESSION KANSAN
PAGE THREE
University Men Qualify As Liars, Judging From Efforts
Students Don't Confine Prevarications To Bulldozing for Professors' Delight, Unsigned Story Shows
When a modern Diedrich Knickerbocker writes the history of Lawrence, Wednesday, March 20, 1935, will go down as the day when the little dust particles held their convention. On the same day, a crosseyed baker's clerk caused the greatest prevaricators' competition ever staged in these parts.
Mrs. London, who boarded 12 University students that year, was surprised to find one more than a dozen pecan pies in her order from the baker on Wednesday. She decided to give the extra bit of delicacy to the man who could spin the tallest yarn.
The long tales which originated at Mrs. London's table never were medioere, but this day's production reached a new "low."
Ted Smiley began. "I'll never forget the time I went bear-hunting in Colorado," he said. "Once we were traveling through a canyon. I looked up and saw three big horns sheep bouncing down the cliff. They hadn't seen us yet. Every hundred feet or so, they'd break their fall by landing on their horns on a ledge. They would bounce off the ledge, turn a few somersaults, make a long dive, and repeat the process. That's what their horns are for—they're mounted in a soft, shock-absorbing base, similar to the way an automobile motor is mounted. Well, they saw us pretty soon, and what do you think they did then?"
Nobody answered.
"Why, they just spread their hind legs out horizontally, like airplane elevators, and the momentum carried them back to the top of the mountain."
A painful silence followed Smiley's learned dissertation on bighorn sheep. Lawrence White, Mrs.London's husky steward, broke it by chirping sweetly, "Berb-went-the birping bird."
"Porky" Gabbert heaved a mighty sigh of disgust. "If I couldn't do better than that," quoth he, "Td not even try. My uncle told me this—and it's a fact. If you don't believe me, just ask him.
"A couple of hunters borrowed a mule and wagon from him to haul their luggage from his farm to their campsite. They pitched their tent and turned in early. The old mule was browsing around the tent. She happened to turn over a jug of hootch during the night, and when the men got up in the morning, there she lay, stiff as a board.
"Dead!" one hunter said.
"Tell you what,' said the other, 'let's skin her, and save the hide for the owner.'
"They skinned the old mule, and went out after game. About noon, the old mule came out of it, jumped up with a startled bray, and hit the high spots for home. My uncle was shearing sheep that day, and he had his arms full of pelts when she came tearing down the home stretch. Seeing she hadn't any hide, he decided to slap on a few sheep's pelts as a substitute. He ran toward her, but tripped on a wild blackberry bush. That gave him an idea. He pinned the pelts on the old mule with briars." Porky paused for breath.
“Well,” queried “Frosty” Hard- acre, “did the sheep’s fur grow?” “Did it grow?” Porky was indignant. "I hope to tell you it grew! My uncle sheared a hundred pounds of wool off that old mule the next spring, and she averages 40 quarts of blackberries a year."
Phone K. U. 6 6
CLASSIFIED ADS
FOR RENT. Room with board to student
counsel, lady to do house work for small
family. Write box 3, University Daily
tansan. -16
Phone
K. U.
6 6
ONESTOP
CLOTHES SERVICE STATION
SCHULZ the TAILOR
024 Marr.
924 Mass.
TAXI
HUNSINGER'S
920-22 Mass.
PHONE
12-987
THE
EVANS' HEARTH
1941 Mass. St.
A distinctive dining place
Lunches
Dinners
Special Parties
Moderate Prices
FOR SALE: Hawaiian steel guitar, convertible to Spanish, and case; two books of lessons and arrangements, picks, and tuning pipe. $9.00. Original outlay $30.00.
Call Pete, Petey, or KU 139. -16
AIR CONDITIONED for your comfort!
Shampoo and Fingerwave 50c and up
We feature Marie Earle
Cosmetics
VANITY BEAUTY SHOP
Phone 1372 7 W. 11th St
(A series of "berps.")
Shampoo and Wave ... 35c
Twenty-five words or less one insertion, 25c; three insertions, 50c; six insertions, 75c; contract rates, not more than 25 words, $2 per month flat. Payable in advance and accepted subject to approval at the KANSAN Business Office.
Experienced operators only
Shampoo and Wave ... 35c
Any Style Waveset ... 25c
Permanents $1.50, $2, and $2.50 to
$5. End curts $1, $1.50 and $2.
Phone 533
IVA'S 941½ Mass. St.
"Hell!" said Herby Gearhart, after a few more tall yarns had come and gone, "I can beat any of 'em." He slapped his thigh once or twice, and was practically hidden behind a haze of pulverized western Kansas soil. "There ain't no such a thing as dust," he muttered.
Herby won by unanimous vote.
K. U. Dames Meet Thursday In Season's Final Gathering The K.U. Dames will meet Thursday evening with Mrs. L. W. Chesney, 1645 Louisiana. Mrs. D. C. Marcoux and Mrs. C. W. Rice will be assisting hostesses.
This is the last of a series of parties the Dames have held this summer for wives of men enrolled in the University. In order to make adequate preparation for guests, it is requested that all those who plan to attend the party Thursday call the hostess and leave their names if they have not already done so.
German Radio Broadcast Requested by Faculty Member
Persons studying Chemistry and German will be particularly interested in a radio lecture scheduled over two Berlin short-wave stations at 5 p.m., Thursday, CST, July 22.
The program is being broadcast at the request of Elvira Weeks, assistant professor of chemistry.
Emanating from stations DJB, (19.74 meters); and DJD, (25.49), the lecture should be picked up easily by persons using sets with short-wave facilities, it is believed. Dr. Max Speter, the lecturer, will give a "Survey of the History of Chemistry in Germany," the lecture to be in dialogue form and dealing chiefly with contributions by Germans during the nineteenth century.
Henry V. Tucker, who will graduate from the School of Business at the close of the summer session, has accepted a position with the Household Finance corporation.
ROMANCE AND REALITY
Sometimes, when you turn the pages of a book your mind is seeking romance. You long to leave a too-familiar world ... to travel with the speed of thought to far-off purple lands . . . to bathe in tepid, lotus-scented surf.
But your daily paper finds you in a more practical mood. Interested in real people, in the facts of the day. Looking for news of things that you may buy and enjoy—here and now.
You may find in the advertisement just what you want in the way of a better breakfast food, or a new radio, or an improved face powder. If the thing fits into your living, is practical and possible and promising-you are vitally interested. Because you are reading about yourself!
Today, a great many things that were romantic dreams only ten years ago are common realities. Life has more color, more charm, more adventure And the things that give it all these may be found in the advertising columns.
Advertising discusses realities-romantic ones often enough but actual articles you can have for your own,new joys for your family, stepping stones to your happiness.
The advertisements in the Kansan are written for you. They are real. They are reliable. Take their advice.