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THE SUMMER SESSION KANSAN
THE OFFICIAL PAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF KANASAS SUMMER SESSION.
THE SUMMER SESSION KANSAN
Published in the afternoon of Tuesday and Friday by students in the department of Journalism, from the press of the Department of Journalism.
Application made for entry as second-class matter at the postoffice at Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March 3, 1879.
Subscription price twenty-five cents for the six weeks' session.
Phones: Bell K. U. 25, Home 1165
Address all communications to THE SUMMER SESSION KANSAN,
Lawrence, Kansas.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5, 1912.
A story is going the rounds of an absent-minded Kansas professor who was told by the bank teller that his account was overdrawn $8.65. The professor apologized profusely and reaching for his check book promptly drew up a check on his account for the $8.65
AFTER THE FRATERNITIES
Nowadays, when the order of business in the state legislature drags, some long-haired solon from a backwoods district will arise from his seat and propose to abolish the fraternities from the state university. In two or three states he has been successful, and just now in a dozen more he is making the fight a hot one for all concerned.
There is neither time nor inclination to go into the different arguments for and against the college fraternity. Sufficient it is to say that the various legislatures are tilting at windmills, and had better be debating the aesthetic and uliitarian phases of pie for breakfast. Fraternities are no longer amusements; they are institutions. In twenty-five years the number enrolled in national fraternities has arisen from 72,000 to 270,000. The undergraduate membership in a normal year now ranges between thirty and thirty-five thousand, and of 1,700 chapters, 1,100 own or rent houses, which at a conservative estimate are valued at more than 88,000,000.
It is our humble opinion that legislatures may resolve, propose, and enact from now until doomsday and while the subject may furnish abundant material for displays of set-pieces on pure democracy, the fraternity idea will prevail in some form or other as long as men and women in every activity of life seek out congenial associates
*****
"I'm pretty well up on the statutes," he replied.
But we are reassured. The late Senator George G. Vest was once examining the son of an old friend for admission to the Missouri bar. The young man whom the Senator wished to favor, failed miserably in torts and the quiz was shifted to real property. He fared little better here and the Senator in desperation asked the applicant what he would liked to be examined in.
"Ah," said the Senator, "but what's to prevent some fool legislature from repealing all the law you know?"
DO NOT PLAY ENOUGH
The time will come, says the president of Brown University, when the father, instead of paying $3,000 for an automobile for his boy and putting him under a $700 teacher, will pay $3,000 for his teacher and $700 for the automobile.
The thinking world today is agreed that it is better to play yourself than it is to watch other people play. When we make of a game a spectacle, it becomes a kind of out-of-doors theatrical. It is amusement for the spectators and work for the participants, and is not properly play for either. It may be a very pleasant
sort of work, just as any dramatic performance may be. It may be well worth for both the spectators and participants in the same way. But play is an activity that is carried on for its own sake, for the joy of playing, and a game that is fought out for the glory of the school or the fame or popularity of the players is no less "professional" because it is paid for in higher values than money. It is all right to go to the theater, and professional baseball, whether in the American League or the American college, serves a real purpose; but it must be evident that it has not the power to renew and recreate the body, mind, and emotions that active play has. We as a people do not play enough. We loaf too much, and work too much, but of real play of the energy-producing kind there is a dearth. We get dyspeptic and anaemic and nervous from lack of exercise, and despondent from brooding over things that we ought to throw off in recurrent periods of joyous play. When we have a holiday, many of us do not know what to do with our leisure
The freshmen at Cornell who walked through Morrell hall on their way to Registrar Hoy's office were greeted by a message from Andrew D White, first president, giving them some advice. The greeting was posted on the official bulletin board. It follows:
"The undersigned presents his best wishes to the class of 1914, now entering and begs leave to commend its attention to the following from Josh Billings:
"Konsider the postage stamp, my son; its usefulness konsists in its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there."
"Very Respectfully,
"Andrew D. White."
In the dining room of a hotel at Nice, on a huge placard posted over the mantel-piece, you read the following:
"Our English visitors are kindly requested to address the waiters and servants in English, as their college French is not generally understand."
Chaucey Depew was once asked why a man was called college breed. "I suppose," said Mr Depew, "it is because his college life is usually a four years' loaf."
COLLEGE DAYS OF OLD
The reminiscences of former President Angell of Michigan University tell of his boyhood's schooling and how in the little district school in Rhode Island, where he went, the boys used to make their own copy books by sewing unruled paper into rough brown paper covers and then cutting it out. He was sent away to school he found that he was ahead of the other boys in arithmetic, so it was decided that he should give all his time to Latin. He says that his intensive schooling did him much good. The master, whose own habit was to drill the boys in grammar for two years, put him in charge of his sister who gave the pupil instead a book of easy reading lessons with the paradigms, and when he had read through it he was taken to a theatre for three years of boys who had been at work two years. He at last entered Brown University and says of this opportunity: "To us country boys as we entered upon college life nothing was more fascinating and more novel and helpful than access to the well-furnished libraries. Boys who are reared in the neighborhood of libraries can have no appreciation of the sensations which we country lads, whose supply of books had been most meagurously insatiable, experienced in being ushered into a large library and told that all these books were now at our service."
He goes on to describe the literary partizanisms that flourished in those days (today the lads are contesting the abilities of some athletic champion or at most a political hero). He says: "Men were divided as Carlylists or anti-Carlyliests, Coleridgians or anti-Coleridgians, and literary, philosophic and historic theories were discussed as hotly as the current political questions of the day"
Shes—This tight dress spots easily. He=Yes, I spotted it two blocks away.
THE SAD, SAD GRIND OF OUR COLLEGE LIFE
"Do men believe in dreams?"
"Not after they marry them."
—Williams Purple Cow
—Yale Record.
Bank President—But why do you wish to work in a bank?
1912—I believe there's money in it.
—Cornell Widow.
Agent—Here, you've had that typewriter for six months and you haven't paid me a cent for it.
One, two, three, four, How can I get any more?
Professor—This sort of reasoning is called induction. Now, when Adam had seen the sun rise three or four times, he felt certain by this course of thought that it would rise every morning; but if Eden had been in the Arctic circle, the sun would not have risen
Student—Well, you said it would pay for itself in six months.
First Stoode—Did you take a bath?
Second Stewed—No, is there one missing?
I've there's money in it
Cornell Widow.
Up in the city 'mid turmoil and strife
-Wisconsin Sphinx.
Small Voice in Back Row—Neither would. Adam
So plaintively different from calm college scenes
-Cornell Widow.
—Harvard Lampoon.
Is a painfully counting the dimes in his jeans.
(Chome)
"Its hard for me to get anywhere these days," sighed the co-ed as she put on her hobble skirt.
Grad (reminiscently)—A follow before marriage is generally a dude, Senior (effectively)—Yes, and a rear marriage he helps. —Princeton Tiger.
Stanford Chaparral.
First Tennis Player-I wonder how that girl got so terribly burned?
Yet, nee, sam, see, things aren't what they used to be.
Ein, zwei, drei, vier, I'll starve on this that's clear;
The worried alumnus in his struggle for life,
The silver-tongued orator was addressing a convention of Irishmen. Stepping forward to the edge of the platform he cleared his throat and exclaimed, "Stand pat!" In a moment half the house was on its feet.
Harvard Lampoon.
TO THE CLASS OF 1912
S. 1. P. — I suppose a smile he u
her face.
girl, but giv't so terribly bitter,
S. Y.
P—I suppose a smile lit up
I.
A NEW DECALOGUE
--once was it, but now I'm nit; One,
two, three.
A new ten commandments, which the people of Reggio, in northern Italy, have lately adopted, is of wide interest. The new dealogue is not primarily for grownups, but for the children of the town, and it is expected that the little folks will, in their school, learn the ten rules by heart.
Love the schoolmates, for they will be thy co-workers for life.
Princeton Tiger.
Love knowledge, the bread of intellect. Cherish the same gratitude toward thy teacher as toward thy father and mother.
Do not bear hatred to anyone; don't insult people. The word revenge shall not be in the vocabulary, but stand up for thy rights and resist oppression.
Let it be thy purpose in life to hasten the day when all men, as free citizens of a free state, shall live in peace and happiness, in true brotherhood.
Remember that all goods of this world are the products of labor. Whoever takes the good things of this world is a valiant and valuable talent in labor, helps the different of their kind.
Make every day thou livest the occasion for some good and beneficial food.
Honor good men and true women,
eathelm all men as equals, bend thy
arm to the star.
Exercise thy mind; observe and think and try to ascertain the truth of all things. Believe in nothing mysterious, in nothing unreasonable; use no de-
Do not assume that to be patriotic one must hate other nations or glory in war. War is a rife of barbarian.
Don't be a coward; stand by the weak and respect love justice.
FRIENDSHIP OF BOOKS
Happy is he who, when the day's work is done, finds his rest, and solace and recreation in communion with the master minds of the present and of all that which we enjoy the enjoyment of pleasures which are to be derived from this source. I would say there is no rest, no recurrence, no jaded body and mind, no jaded and jaded body and mind, worn by work and toil, equal to the intellectual pleasures to which I have just been referrenced. We will come when the pleasures that now allure them and draw them away from intellectual pursuits will come to dominate their bodily vigor. Let them again trust to one who is advancing fast in declining years—there is no joy in equal treasures which are great intellectual treasures which are at hand and always at your disposal.
—LORD CHIEF JUSTICE COCKBURN.
More Slang.
Anent the agitation against slang brought about by a story in the University Daily Kansan, the mountainous browed east is just now terribly concerned over the growth of slang in our best girl's colleges or the best colleges for our girls, whichever we choose. The east has had three surprises of late. One was the cordial invitation for young women to enter the Ullitzer school of journalism; another was the edict of theatrical manager that the tall woman was passe while the third was a plaint from Wellesley that the language indulged in by the young women of that select community was "something fierce." The Wellesley cynic didn't use exactly these words, but smoke to the same effect.
It is a standing stock and oncefunny joke that the papers try to work off occasionally about the blossoming forth of our male youth on entering the halls of erudition—how they come back home with a vocabulary whose length and breadth would require fifteen thousand words attributed to Shakespeare So Miss Helen Logan, editor of the Wellesley College Nws, has come to the defense of the college boy's sister, as against the purist critics on the faculty. If boys can rant around with more or less effective speech why should not the girls be permitted to indulge in milder, raucous laughter? "awfully crazy about," "the courage de amour Miguel," or "for the love of Mike," "wild over," "oh goh!" "greasy grind," and "pimin?"
Now, why should our well educated young girls be restricted. This is a country of free speech, and freedom is seized on more or less as an excuse for slang. Take for example the potent “b-e-l-i-e-v-e-me”! Is that slang? Perhaps a preferential primary would result in its rejection. Yet, say the defenders of slang, how persuasive the phrase when it is used in that tautful classic—“Believe Me, if All Those Endearing,” etc.? or to take Shakespeare for proof. One might think that the recaller of judges and the one who would both initiate and referendum is the coiner of “Bully!” Not a bit of it. Go look up your drama or to return to “believe me,” long drawn out and convincing. That phrase also occurs in “The Taming of the Shrew.” Chaucer was an honest old soul when it came to words, yet he employed “come off” with impunity. The opinion opinion question is that while slang is not very elegant, it is convenient, and if used long enough will be adopted into the full fellowship of Webster. Why not let the girls use slang? We probably can not prevent their doing so, anyhow.
THREE AGES
In boyhood do we plan
With most ambitious soul;
There is no dream too great
And so with rosy hopes The White House is our goal .
To be within control, And so with rosv hones
There is no dream too great To be within control,
In youth still fairer plans
Our ardent breasts imbue We do not care for fame,
So blissfully we scheme A cottage built for two.
A humbler roof may do,
But come to later years
nese all take second place, There is a greater need.
We make a sterner race. With ever leaner nurse
The porterhouse we chase. New York Sun.
Salvation Army Lady—What do you boys do with your old clothes?
Stude—Well, personally, for the last couple of years I've been wearing mine.
Cornell Widow.
Men's Straw Hats
$1, $1.50, $2, $2, $3, $4, $5
A lot just in. Makes the choosing better than good.
Split and Sennit Straws
in wanted shapes and all sizes.
The Best Panama in Town---$5
PECKHAM'S
One Price---Six Stores
The Watkins National Bank
Capital $100,000. Surplus $100,000.
Cor. Mass. and Quincy Sts.
Issues its own Letters of Credit and Travellers Checks. One who is now abroad writes: "I am glad to say that we have found your Travellers Checks very convenient and the Bankers who are your correspondents have every where been very polite and obliging."
The only way to carry your money in safety.
Banking of all kinds solicited
Banking of all kinds solicited
NOTICE!
Summer School Students
The College Barber Shop will be open during the summer session.
At the foot of hill on Adams
R. B. WAGSTAFF
R. B. WAGSTAFF Fancy Groceries
CLARK, C. M.
LEANS
LOTHES.
ALL Bell 355, Home 10
730 Mass.
Take 'em down to
Those Shoes You Want Repaired.
Finest Sunday Dinners at Ed. Anderson's restaurant
LAWRENCE Business College
Largest and best Business College in Kansas. School in session all Summer. Positions secured for graduates. Write for illustrated catalog.
A Fine Line of SPRINGSUITINGS KOCH
THE TAILOR.
Your Baggage Household Handled Moving
FRANCISCO & CO. Boarding and Livery
Auto and Hacks. Open Day and Night Carriage Painting and Trimming Phone 139 608-812-814 Vermont St. Lawrence, Kansa
Never Mind That Sun Burn or Tan
MARLBOROUGH PEROXIDE CREAM
25 cent Jars
McColloch's Drug Store
We have Gone Back to Our Old Prices
Peerless Cafe 906 Mass. Street.