I, as ones ever didn't man Bark! on?" do ewes, i had Ivan- ke is ing a 1 em- sound 1 get gh of issing cards y, if little cigar. elley. r day. toes." e the Judd, you." Kelley g him m. keeping under under te keite te kg. At ag. at we, we and the and the one cat on had food in food in hand white at hands present, d very s made ange not ring of NS NS, ERMS. Music ENTS L. ST. Kelley what these visits meant, Kelley, on the spur of the moment, told him that there was a Miss Jessie Brown attending the college, but for any thing further it must apply to Jones himself, who in an probability, would be delighted to give him the desired information. Lewes thought he had made an important discovery, and proceeded to utilize it to cancel some imaginary scores with Jones. Accordingly, when the Harvard-Yale debate come on, he asked Keeley to introduce him to Miss Brown, that he might engage her company for the debate before Jones had a chance. Keeley replied that he was not acquainted with the lady. When Jones appeared at the debate with a young lady, Lewes supposed, of course, that it was Miss Brown, and even went so far as to send a note during the debate, asking Jones if in any way he could manage it, to introduce him to Miss Brown. The introduction, of course, was not brought about. But Lewes persevered. He hegged Kelley for a letter of introduction, and Kelley having refused, Judd, anxious to carry the thing farther, wrote the letter addressing it to him, "Don't make a fool of yourself. Remember that you are a married man." Well, what did that fellow do but go home and write Miss Brown that very night, stating that he had long wished to visit far-famed Wellesley and ending by asking the privilege of calling. He sent the letter in one of his envelopes bearing a return card, to the Monroe Scientific Association, Belle Island, Iowa. There being no Miss Brown attending Wellesley, the letter was forwarded to the address given, and opened by Lewes' wife. Her surprise can easily be imagined, as well as the gentle blowing up she gave Lewes in her next letters, two of which came in one day. Still believing in the existence of Jessie Brown, Lewis accused Jones of having instructed that young lady to forward his letter to his wife. He was so completely complained, that he could not otherwise see how the letter could have turned up in his wife's hands. "It is the first thing," he said "which I have kept from her since I have known her, and now she's gone and found that out! I only did it because I didn't want to give Jones away in Bette Island, where his 'sure-enough' lives." Kelley and Jones began to think the affair had gone far enough. They feared they might occasion a divorce case Lewes, they knew was, writing his wife letters of explanation in twenty page installments, hence they decided that Lewes should know the whole story the first time he came to their room. We left Judd fumbling away among a lot of papers for a poem and Jones in the corner. We take them up again just as Judd begins to clear his throat for a very impressive reading of some multilateral verses, clipped from a newspaper. Said Judd*, "Lewes, I want to read you some verses about a Jessie Brown." Jones again pretended to protest. Judd began. "O, Jessie Brown is wondrous fair, No earthy beauty can compare With her effulgent beauty rare, Fair Jessie Brown. O, Jessie Brown is wondrous whee, All knowledge found beneath the skies, liter store of wisdom doth comprise. Wise Jessie Brown. Great Diana's Oracle. And Jessie Brown's divinely good, she liveth as an angel should. Aye, better than an angel could. Good Jessie Brown. "One flaw, however, doth appear. That save upon this paper here There's no such girl like this sphere As Jesse Brown." Lewes' jaw felt. He saw the whole thing in a flash. There never was a man more mortified. "Now" said Judd to Lewes, who thought this a wonderful good joke on Jones. "I want to call your particular attention to this last." To find the trailing and embroideries, newspaper report, one need not go outside of Leiden. Once in a while one of the larger dailies of the State will when they can do no better, retain a men on their force who runs three ruffles and a lace border around the skirts of his articles. But not often. The writers who use red cloth to cut their reports out and at frequent intervals send out one more georgeously triggered up than usual, with whole widths of brilliantly painted surplus age and yards upon yards of useless finery making up its exaggerated costume, are usually to be found only in the country town. But sometimes they get into larger places, and occasionally are even permitted to fill whole pages of the quarterly or semi-yearly publications of schools offering work which ranges from the kindergartens up to courses almost preparatory for entrance into the Freshman classes of good colleges. One of such articles, published in the Quarterly of a school as is spoken of, lies on our table. It occupies almost a whole page of the paper, and is supposed to be descriptive of the local oratorical contest at that school. As eminently fitting an event so vastly important, and especially, so strikingly resembling a battle with deadly weapons, the first paragraph is made to read: All of us felt a little sorry for him, but he had got himself into the whole scrape. "The contest is over, the battle is fought, the victory is won—by some one. What so long has been the eager anticipation of many, the cause of sanguine hopes and anxious fears to others, the object of spirited discussions and warm disputes, all lie behind us like a dream. The muffled waves of excitement are calmed once more, and quietly and unnestationally do we move again in the prescopic routine of everyday life. Not every hope could be realized, not every effort crowded; a good many vietnames fell by the wayside, wounded and exhausted; and recovering from their shock, ponder curiously what may have been the cause of their defeat." The officers of K. U's. Oratistical Association, and the orators express themselves as much surprised at the disastrous effects caused by the practice of oratory in the juvenile institution. Here, the contests are attended by no such lamentable consequences. University Hall, on morning after the competition, is not gray with the confined smoke of a recent battle, stale with the odors of burned powder, or red with the blood of wounded. The football, team declare unanimously, that if orators belonging to that school are so dangerous to opponents from their own institution, it would be an act of desperation that even K. U. football courage would not dare, to meet a team of players from among them. "A large crowd of anxious, attentive friends cheered the young essayists and orators with their inspiring presence, on the evening of Wednesday. Dec. 20, they took their places on the platform, that well-worn forensic arena, beautifully decorated for the occasion." It is not difficult to trace the relation of the words in the above sentence, and the flery description this passage contains, we doubt not, roused all the arder of the young natures it was written for. At first we thought the crowd took their places on the platform, but afterward we came to doubt that, and thought it might mean, that the essayists and orators took their places on "that well worn forensic arena." We cannot decide, either, whether the crowd, the contestants, or the platform, boasted the beautiful decorations. And still further, we cannot guess what were the decorations used. If the orators are meant, we suppose, in view of the awful results of the contest, that they came "beautifully decorated" with war paint. If the crowd or the platform is meant, we can only guess. The report gurgles away. The first number of the program was "charming." The next was "beautiful." The first essay was "thoughtful, well written." The next was a graphic "production," proving that in Whittier's poetry "purs and ever fresh bubbles" bubble. Then, the following doubtful compliments are paid a young woman, one of the cool stars. "The discussion showed unusual strength of thought and close reasoning. The judges unanimously gave her first place, a rare occurrence in Normal contexts." Whether it is unusual for the judges to give anyone first place at this school, or for them to give it to this contestant, remains in doubt. The next oration was full of "wol chosen climaxes and beautiful word painting." Two songs were among the "most appreciated" numbers. The delivery of one speaker was "the delight of the elocutionist." And before the result was announced, there was "a short delay, which however to the eager crowd seemed endless," and—fit ending to so s wonderful an event—the jollification and iam continued to a late hour." It is scarcely to be wondered *ar*, that a writer who permits himself the use of such schoolboy gush and overstatement should have also permitted his enthusi- a-m and prejudice to run away so far with his good judgment, that he can "unostentatiously" make the self satis-filyingly impudent assertion, "Never a 'performance' of equal uniform excellence can be witnessed in K. S. U." NOTES FROM SNOW HALL. Electric and water motors have been put up for use in Physiological Botany. Mr. E. S. Tucker is making enlargements of bromide prints of some of the world's great chemists, for the chemistry lecture room. Prints are also being made for the botanical department. These prints are much more permanent than the ordinary silver prints, but are not very often made on account of the expense necessary in their preparation. The making of linnen slides is also an important part in the photographic work at Snow Hall. Duplicates, of course, can be made at much less cost than the originals, and it is thought that the department will be made partially self-sustaining by the sale to neighboring Universities of duplicates of slides now in use at the University. The University of Nebraska has already ordered through Prof. Carruth, slides illustrating the "Niebelungen Lied." Professors Williston, Holder, and Wilcox are now having slides made for use in their departments. Proposed Constitution of the Universi- l Publishing Company of the Uni- versity of Kansas. [Continued from 1st page.] tion to be held on the first Tuesday after the 10th of May. Sec. 9. The officers of the company and of the weekly and monthly paper for the coming spring term of '94 shall be elected on the day of February and shall hold office during the remainder of the term. ARTICLE VI. Sec. 5. This constitution may be amended by a majority vote of the paid in shares of the company. J. V. MAY, Secretary Committee. Sec 1. A quorum shall consist of a majority of the paid in shares of the company; no share to be voted by proxy. Sec 2. Roberts' rules of order shall govern all meetings of the company. Sec 3. Every stockholder shall receive both papers free of charge. Sec 4. Stockholders shall hold their shares (5) five school days before being eligible to vote in any meeting of the University Publishing Company. Sec 5. This constitution may be New Assistant in Museum. Hugo Kahl, late of the Royal Museum of Sweden and more recently employed by Prof. Forbes, professor of entymology in the University of Illinois, has been appointed museum Assistant at KU. He is expected to arrive in Lawrence to-day and will commence his new duties at once. SILVER LINK BUTTONS. SILVER TIE CLASPS. SILVER HAT MARKERS. SILVER STAMP DOXES. SILVER NOVELTIES IN EVERY FORM. Fine Stationery -- -sells all kinds of the best groceries to be had. Students, Dolly Graber will be found at his usual place of business with his bats in live shade and ready to accom- Stamped with Initial, Monogram or Crest One hundred Engraved Visiting Cards and Copper Plate, $1,50. 1034 MAIN STREET. Send for grand catalogue. JACKSON'S LAUNDRY. KANSAS CITY. R. E. BLACKMAN, STANTON OLINGER, Agents. BAKERY. Next to Central Hotel. REMEMBER Geo, Hollingbery, the Practical TAILOR can supply you with genuine well MADE all wool SUITS made to order for $15.00 JUNG SEUNG. WEST WARREN STREET. JOHN P. FELLOWS, Watchmaker and Jeweler. No.827 Massachusetts Street. J. M.ZOOK, Choice Butter, Fine Teas, Coffees. Fancy Groceries a Specialty. 847 Mass. St. BEAL & GODDING. Livery, Hack, Sale and Boarding Stable. OPPOSITE LAWRENCE HOUSE. Telephone 159. REYNOLDS BROS. RESTAURANT. Successors to HARRY HUTSON. Board by the day or week at reasonable rates. Earns in every style of sports. Eats, buys and trades NTS. For anything in the line of STUDENTS. CIGARS AND TOBACCO. CALL ON HOENE. HOENE, 837 Massachusetts ST. - LAWRENCE Willis. South Tenn. St. Photo artist. STEINBERG & BRO. CATER AFTER The Students' Trade Nobby Suits, Stylish Overcoats, Fashionable Hats, Underwear, etc. We guarantee to save you money on all purchases. Pants made to order for $5.50. Fit guaranteed. 739 MASSACHUSETTS ST. THE SIGNAL RESTAURANT & BAKERY. 725 MASS. ST. LAWRENCE, KANSAS 4. REINISCH, THERE IS ONE THING Which a Student should always remember, and that is that A. J. Griffin's is the cheapest, the most reliable and the most convenient place to buy COAL. REMEMBER A. J. GRIFFIN. 7 Mass, Street. Winthrop Street West of Phones 80 & 88. KLOCK'S RESTAURANT AND LUNCH COUNTER. STUDENTS' BOARDING PLAGE. CONFECTIONERY AND CIGARS. ( Board per week. $3.00 ) ( Meal Tickets. $3.50 ) 816 Mass. Sr. . LAWRENCE. WILDER BROS. SHIRT.. MAKERS GENTS' FURNISHERS, Custom LAUNDRY. Students will do well to see our on hand Shirts and Underwear, made for parties and not taken. These goods are standard and can be bought for one-third regular price. TELEPHONE 67. Work called for and delivered. Above is our sand machine but we haul our coal in wagons. Drop into the basement of Merchants Bank and order your coal. Gulbertson & Thoburn. STUDENTS CALL AT THE KANSAS BAKERY Fruits and Confectionary it is the best place in the city. W. S. Got. Tilt & Main Mk. K., C. O., Mo. Business, Northeast Toronto, Harbour Islands. Headlines on business and personal life. Pamper-free membership. The picture and biography of Geo. O. Foster, the University stenographer, occupy the first page of the State Christian Endeavor It must be almighty dull in Lawrence for a West Lawrence girl is visiting at Baldwin. coming to the front Some Will Whites. The Interstate Field Day contest is still a thing of uncertainty. It is probable, however, that a contest will the time honored Senior-Faculty base ball game. called after nearly evaded. The comical exceedingly well failed to bring down Farrell, the famous admirers from this