THE KANSAS UNIVERSITY WEEKLY. Editor-in-Custf. ROSCOR CHAMBERS Associates { } J. B. WILSON ARTHUR BAYSE Sporting Editor. C.W. LOVELACE Local Editor. RAY BARTON Society Editor. MARY L. JOHNSON Literary Editor. NAKY BURWELL Business Manager. J.N. BRADY EXECUTIVE BOARD. W. P, Shaw, C. L. Edson, E. B. Black, J. B. Kiemond, Geo. Hanson, P. J. Neff, Roy Winton. H. C. Byrnes, W. L. Kepner. Entered at Lawrence Post Office as second class mail matter. Shares in the WEEKLY $1.00 each, entitleing the holder to the paper for two years, may be bad of the Secretary and Treasurer, George Foster or at the WEEKLY office. Subscription price 50 cents per annum in Subscription price 50 cents per annum in advance. Single copies 5 cents. *Advance. Single copies 5 cents.* Address all communications to J. R Brady, Business Mgr., Lawrence, Kan. THE OCTOBER number of the Graduate Magazine will be out soon. The publication of this magazine was begun in October, 1902, for the purpose of keeping the alumni of the University interested in their alma mater and in order to inform both the alumni, and all friends of the University, as to University affairs and to give them college news in general. The publication was continued throughout the year with marked success. One of the earlier numbers was given up entirely to a report of the inauguration of Chancellor Strong. The Graduate Magazine is larger than it was last year, and contains about forty pages. It also has a new cover. An editorial department has been added of which Professor O'Leary has charge. The University news department is in charge of Professor Sterling this year. The Alumni and College World departments have the same space that they had last year and are under the same management. Professor Templin is business manager. The leading article in the October number will be Mr. Harger's address delivered at the opening of the University this year. Arrangements are being made to secure some excellent articles for the coming numbers and the efficiency of those who have the management of the magazine insure its success. A special rate of fifty cents a year is made to seniors. It will be well worth the while of every student in the University to subscribe for the Graduate Magazine. THE PAST week has shown the beneficial work of the committee of twenty-two in the interest of athletics. Without this organization it is very doubtful if the required fund for the Kansas-Nebraska game would have been raised. WHEN CAPTAIN Bender of the Nebraska foot ball team heard that the Kansas-Nebraska game was to be played in Lawrence, he said: "All right, it doesn't make any difference to us whether the game is played in Kansas City or not. All we want is a square deal, and we'll beat them by the usual score." That's what the captain said about the Kansas-Nebraska base ball games at Lawrence last spring. MISSOURI UNIVERSITY is after a new yell. They say: "To work out a yell that can compete against the 'Rock Chalk! Jay Hawk!" of our friends, the Kansans, would not only win a man fame but would be a sure sign of genius." We quite agree with them. SIBILANT SAM'S SUMMER STROLL Some sixteen summers since, Samuel S. Stewart, silk salesman, spent seventy sovereigns seventeen shillings sixpence seeking some shingly seashore, some shining strand, sweetly sea shell strewn. Sam soon saw several suitable sequestered situations, so Sam's servant Simon suggested seeking some shady spot. Simon's suggestion seeming satisfactory, Sam sought such secluded site. Simon squiring, Sam suddenly struck some seven score spinsters safely shaded, similarly seeking salubrious summer seashore solace. Several skinny, scaggy, slab-sided, snappish seamstresses, scorning sylvan sports, sat sullenly swapping scandalous stories secretly. Sundry sunshiny, sociable sprites, sporting somewhat scanty silken shirts, smilingly sipped seductive sugary sherbets. Some, seemingly sapient scholars, sagely studied sundry scientific subjects. Seven shrewd, short-sighted, squinting seniors, sporting scholastic spectacles, sharply scrutinized Sanscrit scrolls seeking sophistical syllogisms. Six serious, systematic, scowling sophomores sedately scarched Swedenborg's supernaturally spiritual speculations. Some scientific seminary scholars, sensibly shod sought savory sassafrass, sorrel, splendid scarlet salvias, smilax's slenscandent steam, some scrupulously sought singular specimens showing strobiles, siliques, sori stipules, sepals, stamens, scape, stolons, spathes, spikelets. Some slothful sluggards, shadesheltered, snoozed sleepily. Several sweet, satin-sandaled, silken stockined seraphs silently strayed, solely seeking shady summer scenes; some skillfully sketching softly shadowed silhouettes. Several shabby, slovenly, slipshod slatterns, seemingly servants, spouted Shakspeare (scene shifter style), some selecting savagely sardonic, sesquipedalian speeches—some simply speaking short, sorrowful, sing-song, sentimental sentences. Six shapely sylvan sylphs, safely shod, seeking shallow, silvery, sinuous streamlets, speared s'teen slippery suckers some snared seventy-seven spiny sticklebacks — some, showing sagittary skill, successfully shot seventeen single snipe. Several skittish, short - skirted schoolgirls, showing striped stockings, sedulously sought saccharine scarlet strawberries. Suddenly silly Sally Sawyer, scaree sixteen, shudderingly screamed "See Susan, snakes!" Susan swiftly skedaddled, shrilly shouting "Sna-a-aakes!" Sensible Samantha, scorning surrender, stoutly stays, seizes six slender sycamore saplings, strikes strongly, successfully smashing sixty six skulking streaked serpents. Safely secured, silence soon sup- ervened; so, softly snickering, Sam slyly stole spinsterwards. Some simpering simpletons, seeing Sam surreptitiously spying, saucily saluted Sir Samuel; still several, seeming shy,stood separate, singing soulful songs. Summer's soft, sweet scents soothing Sam's senses supremely, such superlatively sweet singing suited Sam's sentiments singularly; so, smiling sweetly, Sir Samuel suavely said: "Sweet, swanlike sisters, sing softly some soothing, slumberous sonnets." So saying, Sam sang supine, slyly simulating sleep. Seven saucy sylphs, simultaneously snickered significantly, satirically saying, "Stuff, sir." Some squeamish sisters, seeming slightly shocked, softly sobbed. Sundry short, sensitive scholars sniveled sadly. Some silly, susceptible specimens sighed sympathetically. Several suspicious, spiteful, shrewish spinsters spasmodically sereched. Still, six slender, statuesque, symmetrical songstresses, showing shapey, snowy shoulders smiling siren-like, showed some sense, saying, "Surely, sir." So surrounding Signor Samuel straightway sang sundry silvery soul-subduing song, superinducing soft, sensuous somnolence Said somniferous singers, Sabina, Serena, Samantha, Susannah Stella, Sophia, sang surprisingly successfully Soon satiated, Sam succumbed, sleeping soundly. Subsequently Samivel snored sonorously, shoking several severely — specially Stella; so she suddenly skipped swiftly southward, sarcastically saying; "Slumber sweetly, sonny; Stella seeks some stiller section." Sam still sleeps. - Selected. YOUR TEN-MILLION-TO-ONE CHANCE. Taking a million as a basis of calculation, statistics show that at the end of seventy years there will still survive 312,000 out of 1 million persons. At the expiration of eighty years there will be 107,000 survivors of the original million. When it comes to ninety years of existence there is a terrible thinning of the ranks. Only 8.841 out of the 1 million, or one in 115, will live to that age. At ninety-seven but 244, or one in 410, will be alive. At ninety-eight half of these nearly will have dropped out, leaving only 119 souls live out of the original million. One's chances to reach ninety-eight, according to these tables, is about one in 840. Of the original million, only 54 will live to see ninety-nine, or about one person out of 18,500. The century mark will be reached by only 23 out of the 1 million; or, in other words, out of a group of 43,500 people born at the same time, only one will fill out the century span of existence. Only one in 3 million persons will reach the age of 104 years; just one in 5 million can be expected to see 105 birthdays; and as to living to be 106 years old these tables place that contingency as out of the range of practical calculations. Possibly one human being out of 10 millions who shall have seen the light for the first time in 1903 will be alive in 2009.-X. Go to Smith's News Depot for Sweaters and Jerseys. Are elegantly made and trimmed, and fit as well as tailor made pants. We expect that every one of you will give us a call before buying anything in this line. --sell them. Every set fully guaranteed. Remember the No, 9041%. OUR YOUNG MEN'S PANTS 829 MASS. M. J. SKOFSTAD. - We wish to announce that PERRIL & ELLIS have turned over to us THEIR LARGE LAUNDRY BUSINESS. We intend to satisfy all customers with prompt collection and delivery. ILES & EWING, K.S.U.Agenti or Jackson's laundry. The Best is the Cheapest COURT HOUSE MEAT MARKET. ERNEST SEIDEL, Proprietor. CHOICEST MEAT PRODUCTS Oysters in Season; Phone 193. Lawrence, Kansas. SHELLEY, Photographer 719 MASSACHUSETTS Phone-888 Pink Indiana Cash Grocery Feed the Students. Quality is what is demonstrated as well as quantity and we have both. Stewards have found our prices cheapest We can save you money. Latest Delicacies Phone 156. Pellet & Ellis. Prompt Delivery Give me everyone in Lawrence who has any CLOTHING they want cleaned, pressed or repaired I would like to tell them that the LAWRENCE PANTATORIUM, 2 West Warren Street, Phone 506 G: 7 is the best place in town to have it done 9014 $ _{2}^{1} $ Freshmen Engineers, When buying your drafting out- fits, ask for the Kenffel & Esser set No. 9014% the only standard, reliable instrument. Elliot's Univ'y Supply Store ED. THOMAS. RESTAURANT FRESH OYSTERS. Fruits and Nuts Guenther, The Grocer Because he carries Everything. Feeds the hungry students Everything Cheap for Cash. 721 Mass. --- See him Mr. Steward, at A.G. Spalding & Bros. OFFICIAL Foot Ball Supplies ARE MADE IN ACCORDANCE WITH OFFICIAL RULES. Spalding's handsome illustrated catalogue of Fall and Winter Sports containing all the new things in foot ball, golf free to any address. Spalding's Official Foot Ball Guide, containing the new rules. Per copy, 10 cents. How to Play Foot Ball. By Walter Camp. New Edition. Per copy, 10 cents. A. G. SPALDING & BRO. New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Boston, Baltimore, Buffalo, St. Louis, Kansas City, Niceapolis, Denver, Montreal, Canada; London, England. The Jayhawer Club. 1202 KENTUCKY STREET, For Ladies and Gentlemen. $2.75 per week. J. B. WILSON, Steward.