KANSAS UNIVERSITY WEEKLY.
11
SMILES.
"In my little argument with the whale," remarked Jonah, "I certainly had the inside track."—Ex.
Break, break, break, at the foot of thy crags, O sea,
But if you break for a thousand years
You would never get broke like me. Crucible
An Austin lady gave her husband a tea made of bird seed instead of flax seed as ordered by his physician. She discovered her mistake only after the poor man began to sing.—Ex.
"Good day, sir," cries the lobster. As the fish he gladly hails; "I feel musical this morning; May I practice on your scales?" Wyoming Student.
"To me I swear you're a volume rare;" But she said, wlth judicial look. "Your oath's not valid at common law Until you've kissed the book." —Ex.
Full many a man, both young and old,
Is sent to his sarcophagus
By pouring water, icy cold,
Adown his warm oesophagus.
-Wyoming Student.
Little grains of powder
Little drops of paint
Makes a lady's freckles
Look as as if they ain't.—Ex.
There was a naughty young Mr.
Who hugged a girl and Kr.
But she took a flight
So the very next night
This naughty young Mr. Kr Sr.—Ex
Wanted.
Active man of good character, to deliver and collect in Kansas for old established manufacturing wholesale house; $900 a year sure pay. Honesty more than experience required. Our reference, any bank in any city. Enclose self-addressed stamped envelope. Manufacturers, third floor, 334 Dearborn St., Chicago.
WANTED-Ladies and gentlemen to introduce the "hottest" seller on earth. Dr White's Electric Comb, patented 1899 Agents are coining money. Cures all forms of scalp ailments, headaches, etc., yet costs the same as an ordinary comb. Send 50c in stamps for sample. D.N. Rose, Gen.Mgr., Decatur, Ill.
Bowersock Opera House, WED. JAN. 30
PAGRICK, RENIGER & CO. Joseph Arthur's Famous Comedy Drama,
BLUE JEANS
The World's greatest theatrical record breaker A perfect and complete production interpreted by a very superior company.
ALL NEW SCENERY. MECHANICAL EFFECTS, ETC.
A Sawmill in Full Operation on the Stage! Cutting Lumber in view of the Audience! The Great Barbecue Scene and Hoosier Band . . . .
In fact a play that always delights the ladies pleases the children, amuses and interests everybody. Prices 25-50-75c. Seat sale at Dick Bros.
G.C.WOLF'S
Is the Best Place to buy your stationery. We have it in the Latest Designs, both in Tablets and Box Papers.
G. C. WOLF, 917 Mass. St