Page 10
University Daily Kansan
Monday, Sept. 16, 1963
New College Faculty Introduced
New faculty members in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences will be introduced at 4:30 p.m., tomorrow at a meeting in Bailey auditorium.
The members are; Clark E. Brieker, professor and director and coordinator of freshman chemistry courses; Ingo Reiffenstein, visiting professor of German, Jerry Lewis, assistant dean of the college and instructor in the School of Business; Lekh R. Batra, assistant professor of botany; Robert G. Carlson, assistant professor of chemistry; Richard Schowen, assistant professor of chemistry; Albert Ford, assistant professor of classics; Toshihiko Sato, acting assistant professor of East Asia area Studies; Ronald Calgaard, assistant professor of economics; Frank H. K. King, associate professor of economics; Hugh Schwartz, instructor of economics;
William Allmon, instructor of English; Edwin Eiigner, assistant professor of English; Robert A. Georges, instructor of English; Jack Oruch, instructor of English; Leslie F. Marcus, visiting assistant professor of biology; Joe R. Eagleman, assistant professor of geography and meteorology; William M. Merrill, chairman and professor of geology; J. Earl Anderson, instructor of geology; Abram Friesen, assistant professor of German; Bjorn Hammarberg, visiting assistant professor of German; Miss Irmgard Lagatz, visiting instructor of German; Robert Elkins, instructor of German; John Clark, instructor of history; John Greene, professor of history; Lawrence Hill, visiting professor of history; Thomas Kelly, instructor of history; John Longhurst, visiting professor of history; Timothy McDonald, visiting assistant professor of
history; Henry Snyder, instructor of history; Henry Stansifer, assistant professor of history; Lynn H. Nelson, instructor of history; James Spotsot, assistant professor of human rel.; Robert D. Brown, assistant professor of mathematics; Gunther Goes, assistant professor of mathematics; Martin S. Hanna, assistant professor of mathematics; John H. Harris, assistant professor of mathematics; Joe L. Mott, assistant professor of mathematics; Fuad S. Mulla, visiting assistant professor of mathematics; Haruo Murakami, visiting resident associate of mathematics; Arne Persson, visiting assistant professor of mathematics; John A. Palfzgraft, assistant professor of mathematics; IL. Rose, visiting associate professor of mathematics; Robert Bussell, assistant professor of microbiology; Edward S. Rob-
(Continued on page 12)
THOSE CLEAN WHITE ADLERS
Now you're catching on. Just be "clean white sock" in Adlers. Suddenly everyone sees you as the man who always knows the right thing to do, even if he decides not to do it. So now's the time to grab a motor scooter and a girl, not necessarily in that order. But first,grab the AdlerSCshrink controlledwool sock.In white and a covey of colors.$1.00
THE ADLER COMPANY, CINDENNITI 14, OHIG + IN CANADAL WINDOWS HOSIER MILLS, MONTREAL
Available at:
THE JAY SHOPPE ROYAL COLLEGE SHOP WEAVERS
Official Bulletin
SEPTEMBER 16, 1963
German Ph. D exam: 9:30 a.m., Sept.
17, Fraser Fraser. Dr. M. D. Fraser,
in jr 30 Fraser from Noon, Sept. 21.
TODAY
TOMORROW
Catholic Masses, 5 p.m. St. Lawrence Catholic Chapel, 1910 Stratford Road Discussion Group, 7 p.m. St. Lawrence Catholic Student Center, 1915 Stratford Road.
Catholic Masses: 6:45 a.m. 5 p.m.
St. Lawrence Cathedral, Chippew. 1910 Stratford Road.
Catholic Inquiry Class, 7 p.m., St. Lawrence Catholic Student Center, 1915 Stratford Read.
FOR
western Clly. Discussion, 9 p.m.
St. Louis School Student Center, 181
Strattford Road. $150
Today I begin my tenth year of writing this column in your campus newspaper. Ten years is a long time; it is, in fact, what some scholarly people like to call a decade—from the Latin word *deccum*, meaning the floor of a ship. It is, to my mind, remarkable that the Romans had such a word as *deccum* when you consider that ships did not exist until 1620 when John Alden invented the Mayflower. Alden, a prodigiously ingenious man, also invented the ear lobe and Pocahontas.
ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH DEAR FRIENDS
Ships were a very popular mode of travel—especially over water—until 1912 when the Swede, Ivar Krueger, invented the iceberg. Krueger also invented the match, which is a good thing, because without the match, how would you light your Marlboro Cigarettes? I cannot overstress the importance of lighting your Marlboro Cigarettes, for Marlboro Cigarettes, unlighted, provide, at best, only limited smoking pleasure.
you might even call it the Timp or Spongy sell
I mention Marlboros because this column is an advertisement, brought to you through the school year by the makers of Marlboros. Marlboros come in soft pack or Flip-Top box. The makers of Marlboros come in dark suits with thin lapels—except on weekends when they come in yoke-neck jerseys and white duck trousers. White ducks come in flocks. They are primarily fresh water dwellers, although they have been successfully raised in salt water too. Another salt water denizen I'm sure you will find enjoyable is plankton—a mess of tiny organisms like diatoms and algae and like that which float sluggishly near the surface of the sea. It is ironic that these creatures, microscopic in size, should supply the principal source of food for the earth's largest animal, the whale. Whales, I must say, are not at all pleased with this arrangement, because it takes the average whale, eating steadily, 48 hours to gather a day's meal. This leaves them almost no time for water sports or reading Melville. It is a lucky thing for all of us that whales are unaware they are mammals, not fish, and could, if they tried, live just as well on land as in water. I mean, you add ten or twelve million whales to our Sunday traffic and you would have congestion that makes the mind boggle.
But I digress. Today, I was saying, I begin my tenth year of writing this column for Marlboro Cigarettes in your campus newspaper. I will, in each column, say a few kind words about Marlboros—just as you will, once you try that fine tobacco flavor, that pristine white filter, that supple soft pack, that infrangible Flip-Top box. These references to Marlboro will be brief and unobtrusive, for I do not believe in the hard sell. What I favor is the soft sell—you might even call it the limp or spongy sell. I hasten to state that the makers of Marlboro in ten full years have not once complained about my desultory sales approach. Neither have they paid me.
Perhaps, reasoning together, we can find the answers. Perhaps not. But if we fail, let it never be said that it was for want of trying.
But that is of small consequence. Aside from fleeting mentions of Marlboro, this column has another, and more urgent, mission: to cast the hot white light of free inquiry upon the vexing questions that trouble college America—questions like "Should the Student Council have the power to levy tariffs? and "Are roommates sanitary?" and "Should housemothers be compelled to retire upon reaching the age of 26?"
I thank you.
© 1963 Max Shuiman
The makers of Marlboro are happy to bring you another year of Max Shulman's unpredictable and uncensored column—and also happy to bring you fine filtered Martboros, available in pack or box, wherever cigarettes are sold in all 50 states.