HUMOROUS.
"The doctor would like to see you on the inside," said the maid to the caller in the reception room.
"Not much," the startled patient,
"he can't try an X-Ray on me.—Ex.
"Professor?" "Yes!" "Why don't they bury the Dead Sea?"
Bellboy—Don't blow out the gas.
Farmer Heyrac—That's all right, boy!
I got a bad cold and can't smell nawthin. —
New York Sunday World.
Stylus.
He came to our school;
Joined our elevent;
Played one game,
And went to heaven.
A college girl, being asked if she liked codfish bells, said she had never attended any—Stats Normal Monthly.
When you contr a girl to wed her,
Never let your questions stop;
First you have to pop the question.
Then you have to question Pop.
Visitor - My, how your little boy growls!
Mrs. Commonity-Wes. We intend to put him in spectacles next week.—New York Sunday Journal.
"What sort of a girl is she?"
"Oh, she is a miss with a mission."
"Ah!"
'Her mission is_seeking a man with a mansion.Ex.
The teacher was complaining of the gen eral laziness of the class. "Why," said he, "in Rome the youths used to swim across the river Tiber three times before breakfast every morning." Somebody in the front row grinned audibly. "Young man" began the instructor fiercely "what are you laughing at?" "I was wondering" he meekly responded, "on which side they left their clothes.—The Crescent.
Tis a matter of much disputation,
As to which is the pleasantest lark;
Of slaying deer in the Rockies,
Or of sleighing a dear in the park.
Charley—"I just took a very pleasant trip."
Charley—"Where?"
Charley—"I tripped and fell into a young lady's lap."—Ex.
A naughty little boy one day evaded punishment by creeping under the bed, where his mother could not reach him, Shortly after his father came, and when told of the state of affairs, crawled on his hands and knees in search of his son and heir, when to his astonishment, he was asked "Is she after you, too, father?"—Eworth Exponent.
What makes the ocean salt? Salt fish answered reflective Donald,—Ex.
"Cast thy bread upon the water,"
Sighed the boarder with a frown:
Add a little salt and pepper,
Call it soup and gulp it down.
The New York legislature has appropriated $25,000 for the state veterinary college at Cornell.
ODDS AND ENDS.
C. I. DeWitt, Amherst 99, has been elected president of the New England Intercollegiate Athletic association for the coming year.
When the final settlement of the Stanford estate is made, Stanford University will have an income very much greater than that of Harvard, the richest of the American universities.
Pennsylvania won the recent Pennsylvania-Cornell debate. The question debated was on the advisability of retaining the Philippines.
A collection of magazines, periodicals and other reading matter is being made at Harvard, to be sent to the American soldiers abroad.
The hockey season has just closed in the east, leaving Yale at the head of the league.
A Lincoln, Nebraska, paper announces the resignation of Miss Cora Parker as directorof the art department of the University of Nebraska. Miss Parker has held that position for a number of years, having previously held a similar one at Kansas University. The resignation is to take effect in June, and the change will be a matter of interest to Miss Parker's many friends in Lawrence.
President Gilham, of John's Hopkins, has summed up in the following manner the object of a college education: 1. Concentration, or the ability to hold the mind exclusively and persistently to one subject;
2. Distribution, or power to arrange and classify known facts; 3. Retention, or power to hold facts; 4. Expression or the power to test what you know; 5. Power of judgment, or making sharp discrimination between that which is false, and that which is essential.
The faculty and students of Allison College, Ohio, have decided that each student shall pay one dollar for the support of athletics when he takes out his classification card.
Oxford has refused to join with Cambridge in arranging for field and track contests between the athletes of English and American universities.
An unknown friend of the University of Cincinnati has left a legacy of $60,000, which will be used in constructing a library building.
The University of Pennsylvania and the University of Michigan have arranged a football game for next fall to take place on November 11, at Philadelphia.
The Columbia management have decided to lease Manhattan Field for the coming season's football games. A change in the name to Columbia Field is meditated if the lease is accomplished.
The "Harvard Crimson" has published a book containing the record of the Harvard men who served in the late war, entitled "Harvard Volunteers."
The New York legislature has appropriated $25,000 for the state veterinary college at Cornell.
The Dartmouth College catalogue for the current year contains the names of 577 students in the regular course of the college proper.
A bill is soon to be introduced in the English Parliament, providing for the raising of Queen's College, Belmont, to a University status and also for the establishment of a University for Catholics at Dublin.
H. T. Summersgill, ex-Special, and crack pitcher, has been elected captain of the University of Virginia football team for '99.
Chauney M. Dewep says that 60 per cent of the positions of high trust in this country are filled by college graduates and the other 40 per cent are largely controlled by college men. —Southwestern Advocate.
At the University of Heidelberg an attempt is being made to introduce field athletics for duelling.
The students of Cornell University have contributed about $600 for the support of the track team.
Princeton has recently received a gift of $10,000 for the equipment of its classical library.
7
President Taylor, of Vassar College has been unanimously chosen to the vacant chair of president of Brown University.
Harvard has received a bequest of $1,000,000, principally in real estate.
On May 30, '99 Princeton and Cornell will for the first time in their history hold a dual track meet.
Four new dormitories with accommodations for 460 students are being erected on the campus at Columbia college at an estimated cost of $750,000.
A good student is known by these three things: He can begin to study when he does not like it; he can study when he would rather quit; he can quit when he ought to.—S. U. I. Quill.
Some one hundred and thirty-s seven men have reported for track work at Yale. This number has rarely been equalled in the past.
The International Magazine (Chicago) offers a way for students to earn their tuition—and doubtless has its hands full to take care of all who desire to avail themselves of such an opportunity.
In this day and age of the world no ambitious student should fail to obtain his desired education. "Where there's a will there's a way."
Yale, Harvard and Princeton will be represented by four men each in the inter-collegiate whist tournament to be held in April.
Dr. Bartow went to Oklahoma Tuesday to give some expert testimony in the Johnson murder case.
Prof. Bailey was called to Eureka Springs Wednesday to examine some mineral water
Those interested in scholarships should write for particulars.
PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY NOTES.
One of the most interesting meetings that the Chemical Seminary has held, was the talk Mr. Krause gave on liquefaction of gases, and Mr. Tripler's on liquid air.
The programs for the Pharmaceutical Association are quite elaborate. Mr. Syd Prentice is making a colored drawing for the cover.
-
are more desirable than ever the new tin box prevents their breaking and is convenient to carry in any pocket.
--the best and speediest service. The California Limited from Chicago provides every comfort in modern railway travel.
"There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at its flood, leads on to torture. Omitted, all the voyage of his life is bound in shallows and in misery."
For Sale Everywhere.
829 Mass. Street.
The International- Magazine (Chicago), which is offering scholarships in exchange for services, could doubtless inform us.
We wonder what proportion of students there are who would recognize that "tide" or that "opportunity" if it should present itself.
An immense line of Fall Hats at price that defy competition at M. J. Sk ofstad's 824 Massachusetts street.
Home Bakery.
RICHMOND
STRAIGHT CUT
10$
IN TIN BOXES
STYLISH, RELIABLE ARTISTIC Recommended by Leading Dressmakers. They Always Please.
Home made bread, cakes and Saratoga chips.
Morris,
The Photo Artist,
--the best and speediest service. The California Limited from Chicago provides every comfort in modern railway travel.
Mrs. Johnson & Renfrow Connected With Central Hotel.
McCALL BAZAR PATTERNS
NONE BETTER AT ANY PRIOE.
THE McCALL COMPANY.
These patterns are sold in nearby every city and town in the United States. If your dealer does not keep them send it, they will keep the items received. Address your nearest point.
10c AND 15c
THE MCCALL COMPANY.
138 to 146 W. 14th Street, New York.
BRANCH OFFICES:
192 Ft. Flat, Chicago, and 1051 Market.
St. San Francisco.
McCall's 500
Magazine YEAR
Agents wanted for this magazine in every locality. Beautiful premiums for a variety of clients. Excellent part-time hires. Subscription only 30e, per year, in address, THE JECKLE CO.,
"STEVENS FAVORITE" RIFLE.
Brightest Magazine Published.
Contains Beautiful Colored Plates,
Illustrates the Latest Patterns. Fash-
ings, Fancy Work
Brightest Magazine Published.
22-inch barrel, weight 43 pounds.
Carefully bored and tested. For
222, 25 and 32 rim-fire cartridges.
138 to 146 W. 14th St. New York.
Ask your dealer for the "FAVORITE." If he doesn't keep it we will send, prepaid, on receipt of price.
Plain Open Sights. $6.00
No.17.
No.18.
Send stamp for complete catalogue showing our full line, with valuable information regarding rifles and ammunition in general.
J. STEVENS ARMS AND TOOL CO.
8 Wax
Target Sights. $8.50
CHICOPEE FALLS, MASS.
Teachers Wanted
P. 0. Box CHICOPE FALLS, MASS.
Union Teachers' Agencies of America.
Pittsburgh, Pa., Toronto, Can. New Orleans
La, New York, N. Y., Washington, D.C.
San Francisco, Cal., Chicago, Ill., St. Louis,
Mo, and Denver, Colorado.
THERE are thousands of positions to be filled soon. We had over 8,000 vacancies in the past season. Unqualified facilities for placing teachers in every part of the U. S. and Canada.
Odd tee registers in hboxes.
Address all applications to Washington,
SPRING SUITING
Mass. St.
735
1000 SAMPLES.
FINE WORK, ALL STYLES.
PRICES FOR ALL
BRING YOUR SUITS
TO Us For Fre
O. P. LEONARD.
Are You Going to California?
The Santa Fe Route gives the best and speediest service
The daily fast California Express carries Pullman and Tokrist Sleepers and free Reclining Chair Cars.
Geo. C. Bailey, Agent,
The Ackleson, Topeka & Santa Fe Railway
LA WRENCE, KANSAS.
The Marion-Sims College of Medicine, ST. LOUIS,
Ofers a thorough-going course in medicine and dentistry.
Equipment modern, facilities unsurpass
ed, hospital and dispensary upon premises.
For further information apply to
Dr. H. W. LOEB,
Secretary
3559 Olive Street, St. Louis, Mo.
Dr. Y. H. BOND,
Grand & Page Avenues, St. Louis, Mo
A handsomely illustrated weekly. Largest city:
four years; four months, $1. Sold by all newscaster.
MUNN & Co. 361Broadway, New York
Branch Office, Ccg F. St., Washington, D.C.
ZUTTERMEISTER,
Anyone sending a sketch and description may be charged. In the event of an invention is probably patentable. Communications strictly confidential. Handbook on Patents Patents taken through Munn & Co. receive Patents taken through Munn & Co. receive
MANUFACTURER OF
PURE CONFECTIONS &
FIRE ICE CREAM.
Oysters served in any style.
Phone 188.
700 Mass. kg
Scientific American.
CHAS. L. HESS, Meat Market
937 Mass. St. Telephone 14.
F. $ ^{2} $R. $ ^{2} $BARTZ,
WEST END MEAT MARKET. Dealer in
Fresh and Salt Meats.
Special rates given to clubs.
GEORGE FLINN, * *
Boots and Shoes Made.
Repairing neatly done at reasonable rates
West Henry Street.
Best Creams, 90th and 100th Centres
023 Massachusetts Street
LAWRENCE CANDY KITCHEN.
937 Massachusetts Street.
Candy made fresh every day.
HUTSON'S
709 Vermont Street.
BAKERY.
Bread for sale from wagon, at leading grocers, and delivered to clubs.
The Only First-Class Resort in the City-
MOAK'S BILLIARD HALL and BOWLING ALLEY.
Best Grade of Cigars.
714 Mass. St.
EDGAR WRIGHT,
DENTIST.
Four Good Barbers Will Give you attention at
CALDWELL'S BARBER SHOP.
Office 743 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence, Kan.
Office hours: 8 a. m. to 6 p. m.
812 Mass, St.
We give you the kind of work that you want *nont*
a shirt. We have 120 shirts, razors 120 cres,
540 hairstyle cut 180, razors burned 32c.
. $ \mathrm {O} ^ {\dagger} $
Star Bakery.
HENRY GERHARD & BRO., Props.
We solicit the patronage of the people.
Watkins National Bank.
Capital $150,000. Surplus $18,000-
Capital $150,000. Surplus $18,000.
J. B. WATKINS,
President.
C A. HILL,
Vice President.
PAUL R. BROOKS,
Cashier.
W. E. HAZEN,
Ass' Cashier.
DIRECTORS.
J. B WATKINS, A G. HILL, A HERNING
J. B WATER
Savings Department deposits received Tuesdays and Fridays. Exchanges on all the principal cities of the world.
A.WHITCOMB & SON.
FLORISTS
PLANTS, CUT FLOWERS,
BLOOMS
Students trade solicited. 844 Tenn. St.
844 Tenn. St.
A. P. HULTZ Dentist.
No.735, Mass. St., Lawrence, Kan.
Northwestern University Medical School1.
The regular course is four years. Conditions are arranged for advanced standing. We claim an unusual amount of compulsory laboratory work, and unusual excellence in it; a very great variety, and abundance of clinical material, and a su- plement of training using the benefit of students. For circulars of information address the secretary.
DR. N.S. DAVIS, Jr.,
DR. N. S. DAVIS, J.C.
2431 Dearborn Street, Chicago, Ill.
)