Kansas University Weekly.
201
The colt stood still, gazing at her in sympathy. Seraphima was suddenly possessed of an idea; quick as a flash, she darted beneath the colt's body. That was fine!
"Pet, I believe I'll shoot myself."
Pet was evidently too astonished to move or even lay back his ears, for he stood perfectly still. Seraphima thought these encouraging signs, so, allowing the adventurous spirit to get the better of her, she again slipped beneath his body, and thrust her elfish, little head between his forelegs.
"Pet, I believe I'll be a—"
With a quick movement, Pet siezed the yellow topknot between his teeth, and lifted Seraphima off her feet.
“— a nun! Darn you Pet! Darn you Pet! Darn you!”
Seraphima kicked and squirmed, yelling in rage, but it seemed to have no effect whatever upon the colt, for with becoming dignity he walked up to the door-step and deposited the angry little piece of humanity in a heap upon the porch. Seraphima sat up rubbing her head vigorously, her eyes aud her mouth wide open from astonishment.
“Darn you Pet！” she cried, "I b'lieve I'll be a nun! Darn—"
But Pet kicked up his heels, and disappeared around the corner.
E. A. H.
The Undoing of the Swell.
A number of years ago I was standing at the Junction in Kansas City watching the thronging hundreds that hourly pass that center of metropolitan travel. At the east end there was a coal wagon slowly descending the steep Ninth street grade while an east-bound Independence Avenue car had just come to a stop before the Junction.
On the rear platform of the car stood a young dandy in faultless attire. His clothes, hat, neckwear and linen were of the most approved pattern; in his hand he held a large headed fancifully carved cane which he twirled playfully from time to time; he looked out complacently upon the passersby through gold rimmed glasses precariously perched on the ridge of his beautiful Græco-Roman nose. Taken all in all he was the very picture of self-satisfaction and conceit.
In the meanwhile the heavily laden coal wagon met with a mishap in its descent. When about half way down the grade the horse shied at something, got frightened and dashed ahead. The driver used all his strength and fund of Scriptural quotation to restrain his team, but all to no avail; the wagon swerved to one side and bounded with tremendous force against a fire-plug just at the foot of the grade. So great was the shock and so powerful the blow that the plug broke short off as though it were a mere pipestem. Immediately there burst forth a mighty stream of water skyward, which as it fell made straight for the car on which stood our immaculate swell and before he could do aught to save himself a mighty mass of water struck him squarely in the chest, causing him to describe a graceful parabola and land on the ground with no inconsiderable force some distance away.
In time, he found sufficient strength to pick himself up from his supine position and with a look of unutterable anguish he surveyed the ruin the water had wrought. His clothes were wet through and through and clung tightly to his body, his collar was wilted, his linen ruined, his hat badly crushed, and his eye glasses and cane gone, whither no one could tell; his whole appearance bore ample and convincing testimony to the force of falling bodies.
The uproarious shouts of laughter which came from the crowd did not tend to soften his wrath or materially diminish his mortification and finally, with a look which betokened great mental and physical suffering, he was borne away in the hands of his friends wet and wilted.
A. E. W.
The Age of Woman.
At twenty the "the young man" had his first serious "affaire de cœur." The lady of his love was a beautiful college girl "just his own age." "The young man" was madly in love. He would have left school and found work in order