Kansas University Weekly.
105
EXGHANGES.
The Ottawa Campus suggests a baseball league among Kansas colleges. It is a good idea.
Never tell your best friend any thing that wouldn't look well in big sized type in a newspaper. Atchison Globe.
'Tis wrong for any maid to be Abroad at night alone. A chaperon she needs till she Can call some chap 'er own. —Tabor College Monthly.
If K. U. wants to scrap a little, Baker is generally on hand.—Baker Orange.
Yes. And if "K.U." wishes to use a carload of yellow bunting Baker is generally on hand to supply the demand.
Washburn Reporter: It does not pay to expect anything in state contests. Expectations, like dreams, go by contraries. Last year we expected first place and secured sixth. Year before last we expected first place and secured seventh. This year we expected nothing and secured-first.
“Habit” is hard to overcome. If you take off the first it does not change "abit." If you take off another you still have a "bit" left. If you take off still another the whole of "it" remains. If you take another, it is not "t" totally used up. All of which shows that if you wish to get rid of a "habit" you must throw it off altogether.—Echo.
There is an old tradition in the State University that that institution once got first place in the state oritorical contest.—Minneapolis Messenger.
That was a long time ago, however, in the days when the Kansas University had a preparatory department, and high school commencement exercises, and spelled "oratorical" with two i's. We have partly outgrown these youthful follies and it is unkind in the Messenger to recall them now.
Backward, turn backward, oh time in your flight.
Feed me on gruel, just for tonight;
I am so weary of sole leather steak,
Petrified doughnuts and vulcanized cake,
Oysters that sleep in the watery bath,
Butter as strong as Goliath of Gath;
Weary of paying for what I can't eat—
Chewing up rubber and calling it meat.
Backward, turn backward, for weary I am;
Give me a whack at my grandmother's jam:
Let me drink milk that has never been skimmed.
Let me eat butter whose hair has been trimmed.
Let me once more have that old fashioned pie,
Then I'll be ready to curl up and die. -Ex.
The following are typical questions to be heard in the halls next morning after a lecture? "Who had A there?" "Did you see C and D together?" "Who would have ever have thought of B taking anybody?" "G and H were together as usual," etc. The lecture evidently made a deep impression. -Ex.
Professor. Sarcastically and Severely—Mr. Couch I will wait until you get through talking. I do not wish to interrupt your conversation.
Mr. Couch—Go ahead, Professor. I wont mind your talking—Blue and Gold.
Kansas University owes its literary societies a debt of gratitude for not adopting such names as Philalathean, Zetagathean, Philolexian, Philleusebian, and Panthygaterian, which we find mentioned in different exchanges this week.
EIGHT-WORD POEMS. Hunter, bear, Struggling pair. Man inferior; Gone interior.
Boating excursion,
Sudden immersion,
Rescue effected;
Wedding expected!
New woman,
Old man;
Made one;
Best plan!
—Ex.
She had a lovely neck,
And everybody said—
Who indeed might doubt it?—
That that's what turned her head.
Ex.