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University Daily Kansan
Tuesday, May 4, 1954
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS by Dick Bibler
With Tongue in Cheek:
New Election Rules Secure Honest Conduct
The All Student Council has passed election rules intended to make the new election, if one is held, more honest and less complicated. The rules appear sufficient.
Cutting the number of ballots to three, for example, simplifies the voting procedure, although would it not be possible to print one ballot, listing both ASC candidates and candidates for president and vice president?
It is undoubtedly a good thing to make it clear that ballots which haven't been clipped are nevertheless valid. Also the steps taken to prevent "ballot peeking" and ballot shortages seem adequate.
Likewise the rule providing for a delegation from the elections committee to pick up the ballots from the printer and later distribute them to the polls seems to be a competent one.
The ASC also has decided to have a briefing session for pollworkers, who will be assigned specific jobs. And once the ballot boxes have been filled, pollworkers will be required to seal them and sign their names on the tape.
Other provisions of the new election rules call for immediate collection of ballot boxes and for the procedure used in counting the ballots.
Maybe the new rules will obliterate all traces of dishonesty from University elections, but maybe they won't.
There's one change that might be made in the election rules, however, and that change would guarantee honesty in all future elections.
Instead of counting the ballots, election workers would take them to burn at a gigantic, all-student rally. Then, as POGO and AGI party members snaked danced together around the fire, the Chancellor could "elect" new school officers by picking names out of a hat.
—Sam Teaford
Flashbacks in History From the Daily Kansan
The week of May 3 through 7, 1944 was much the same at the University as the same week, 1954, except that a war was going on. In that 5-day period in 1929 some of the same problems with us today were being mulled over. Only the names have been changed.
10 YEARS AGO
The All Student Council voted in its regular meeting to outlaw smoking in all campus buildings, except for a few isolated spots. The council also voted to prohibit any student parking on the campus between 7:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. weekdays.
A sports writer mused in his column that there were but 13 lettermen on the Jayhawk football squad when it finished spring practice. The writer wondered how many, if any, would be back for the fall '44 campaign.
25 YEARS AGO
The largest senior class in the history of the University—880—was to graduate in 1929, George O. Foster, registrar, announced.
Several hundred Boy Scouts marked another first in KU history by having a gigantic all-day rally in Memorial stadium. It was the first time the new structure had been used for that purpose.
Villagers were up in arms. It was said that a bear was prowling the nearby forest. The bear was unlike the usual run—it was neither brown nor black—it was red.
A Saga of Joe And The Bear:
Little Joe had heard the rumor and became interested. Things had been really quite boring for him—there just wasn't any excitement any more. He got out his schoolbooks and found out all he could about bears—so he could recognize one when he saw one.
Going home from school, little Joe screamed, "Bear, bear!" The villagers came running, "What bear, where?" they asked. Little Joe couldn't produce. The villagers went back to work.
Little Joe tried it again the next day. The villagers went back to work muttering something about a crazy-mixed-up kid.
The next Saturday teacher took the children on a picnic. They looked up to see not one—but a whole pack—of red bears approaching them. Every one was frozen with fright—except little Joe, who ran back to the village.
He combed the forest looking for the bear—but to no avail. It was discouraging, he thought. Finally, he got an idea.
Little Joe screamed, "Bear, bear!"
The villagers didn't listen.
—Tom Shannor
...LETTERS...
To the editor:
The undersigned, members of the Faculty Fossils softball team, wish to take exception to a misleading story which appeared about us in Friday's Kansan.
(1) We did not beat the AFROTC team 4-3, as erroneously reported. We shut 'em out, 4-0.
(2) At no time was there a single faculty creak or groan registered during the game. The reporter Jim Cameron, apparently suffers from hallucinations.
(3) We're not afraid of anybody on that field.
George M. Beckmann, history;
William Conboy, speech;
Joseph H. Davidson, anatomy;
Harold R. Dickman, psychology; George J. Edberg, romance languages; J. Robert Fevurly, bacteriology; Richard F. Harp, physical education; Nino Lo Bello, sociology; John H. Patton, religion; John Reardon, English; Elliott Valenstein, psychology; Ray Verry, Book store, and B. James Wright speech.
To the editor:
After reading letters to the editor for the past week or two, I am reminded of the following sentence from the statement of general policies in the constitution of the Kansan board:
"Letters to the Daily Kansan are printed provided they are signed, they do not violate the laws of libel and the tenents of decency and good taste, and are not unreasonably long."
Emil L. Telfel
of journalism
UNIVERSITY
Daily Transan
Member of the Kansas Press Assn., National Editor Assn., Inland Daily Press Represented by the National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Avenue, N.Y. City, Mail Subscriptions rates: $3 a semester or ten months (renewance). Published in Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the University of Kansas annual university holidays and examination periods Entered second class matter Sept. 17, 1910 at Lawrence, Kan., Post Office under act
University of Kansas Student Newspaper
New Room KU 251    Ad Room KU 768
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editorial editor... Don Tice
Assistants... Letty Lemon,
NEWS STAFF
Executive editor    Tom Stewart
Managing editors    Tom Shannon
        Sam Teaford, Kei
        Bronson, Stan Hamilton
News Editor    Elizabeth Woblgemuth
Sports editor    Dana Lester
Society editor    Karen Hilmer
Assistant    Nancy Neville
News adviser    C. M. Cipkett
"They say he can hold a note longer than anyone in th' whole hand."
Herring's The Ticket To Television Trouble
Once upon a time a young fellow named Mac lived at home with his mother in the little town of Nowhere, U.S.A. As was the case with most of the people in Nowhere, Mac and his mother were strictly on the indigent side, but Mac, being a fine youngster, decided he would leave home to make his fortune in metropolitan surroundings.
"I've always wanted to be on television," he told his mother and I know I can make good in the city, where I will be able make enough money for both of us."
On the way to the city Mac stopped to eat his herring—and a big, fine red herring it was—but each time he stopped, someone invariably noticed, remarked upon the austerity of a diet of that sort, and invited Mac out to dinner.
So it was that Mac's mother kissed him goodbye, wrapped up a herring for him to eat on the way, and sent him off to the big town.
Mac still had his red herring when he arrived in the metropolis, but by that time he was convinced it was associated with good luck. He decided to keep it as a good omen, taking it with him everywhere he went.
Mac had absolutely no luck, however, in finding a job in his chosen field of television. But he soon became well known around town, for it's not every man who carries a red herring around with him, especially not such a dilapidated one as Mac's.
Wherever Mac went, people noticed him. In fact it was difficult not to notice him, herrings being what they are after so many days away from salt water. At first everyone avoided him, but as his reputation spread, the curious began to line the streets, hoping to catch a glimpse of a fellow audacious enough to carry a fish as a good luck charm.
To tell the truth Mac soon was one of the most talked-about persons in all the city. Newspaper reporters began to follow him, quoting him first as an authority on red herring but later asking her opinions on the Geneva conference and the baseball season and new hats for women. Before many months had passed Mac's doings received almost as much attention in the local newspapers as did the activities of the mayor himself.
But Mac still was not happy, because his one goal, television, eluded him.
This was fine with Shaun and Kine, who immediately recognized the publicity value of having the "man with the herring" on their program. So the duo became a trio, Mac showed his herring to television—that was all right because they only could see it—and the show became one of the most popular in television.
About this time a local TV station featured in a weekly half-hour show a vaudeville dance team called Shoan and Kine, who were not exactly at the top of the Hooper ratings. Mac went to the duo with this proposition: to take him on the show to tell a few jokes between dances, display his red herring, and perform a few other necessary activities.
All went well until Shoa and Kine, thinking of the large audience of servicemen and ex-servicemen, decided to hire a soldier, one Steven Roberts, for the show. The two dancers were enthusiastic about the addition, but not Mac.
"The Army will smell up the act," he said. "I'm going to take my red herring and go home."
But Mac was only kidding. After years of working toward a rose in television, he wasn't backing out now to go back to Nowhere. He argued long and loud against putting Roberts in the show. Soon he had Kine on his side, but Shoan refused to concede.
—Sam Teaford