TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 1951
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
PAGE FIVE
Comedian Proposes
new York (U.P.)—Ever steal somebody else's joke?
Those who have, won't be able to do it much longer, if comedian and gag-writer Hal Block has his way.
He proposed the founding of an organization that would protect a man's jokes and return royalties if they were used by someone else.
Block, who has written for practically every big name comedian of the day and who is one of the panel members of the CBS-TV "What's My Line?", said joke-stealing was getting out of hand.
"Once a writer gets a fee for an original script, he's out," Block said. "His jokes can be used over and over again by someone else, without credit or compensation. If he wants to make a living, he constantly has to write new ones.
"In my opinion, jokes are as hard to write as anything else and anyone who wants to use them should be made to pay for them. The gag writer should receive royalties in the same manner as the songwriter. Too many of our gag writers—many of whom have been great wits—have died penniless and unknown."
Jock said everyone should have the privilege of protecting their jokes.
"The joke organization—let's call it Yoks, Inc."—should set up a board to review gags submitted by non-professional writers," he said. "If the joke is proven to be original and accepted, they too should be protected."
Block said several methods were used in stealing jokes. The most common, he said, was employment of the "switch."
"Now it's: 'You know what Washington is. That's the place Truman visits when he leaves Florida.' "
"This is the oldest method," he said. "Take this one, which was told about Churchill during the war; You know what England is. That's the place Churchill visits after he leaves Washington."
He said "impressionsists" also were guilty of joke-stealing. The impressionist mimics another comedian "but also uses his material."
Block said some jokes were considered extremely valuable—especially those used in political campaigns or in advertising. He said
New Super Launderette Handles Babies Or Laundry
New York (U.P.)—Twenty-two laundries and 10 babies can be taken care of, by the simple procedure of putting a quarter in a slot for either baby or laundry, in a novel new super launderette. The baby just gets entertained, no scrubbing.
The president of the Telecoin' Corp. Arthur Percival, thought up the idea for baby sitting combined with laundering, and opened a new one-story brick building in the center of a suburban apartment development in Astoria, Long Island, last week.
First day they handled 15 babies and more than two dozen family nurses. Second day a peculiar situation developed.
Mothers came in, handed junior over to Mrs. Veronica Clark, the registered nurse in charge of the kiddy department, put the quarter in the slot for an hour's worth of baby sitting, and went out without even glancing toward the automatic washers.
An Organization To Protect His Jokes
Ten youngsters, from a year and one half to six years old, shrieked, banged on the toy xylophones, played with blocks and generally drowned out the sound of the washing machines from their television-equipped nursery corner. Each child wore a tag with a number on it which corresponded to the number of the slot where he'd been paid for. When his hour was up, a red light flashed beside the slot.
"They do seem more interested in the baby sitting department than the washing machines," manager Francis Decaro shouted over the din. "But sooner or later we'll catch them on the wash. They begin to feel obligated I imagine."
Piano Recital To Be Wednesday
"After we get a little better organized it won't be so noisy." Mrs. Clark said cheerfully. "Two of these youngsters are my own, so I understand children. We'll have a read-
Jacquelyn Stoops will present her senior piano recital at 8 p.m. Wednesday in Strong auditorium. The recital is open to the public.
Miss Stoops is a student of Jan Chiapusso, professor of piano. She is teaching piano at Haskell institute. She has served as president and vice-president of Mu Phi Ep-
and vice-president of Mu Phi Episcopus, honorary music sorority. The program will include "Two Preludes, opus 104." (Mendelsohn); "Sonata quasi una fantasia, opus 27, No. 1 E flat." (Beethoven); two selections by Albenz; "Evocation," El Puerto, "the Sonate-conte, opus 25, No. 1." (Medner); and a group of Chopin works, including two impromptus and the F sharp minor "Polonaise."
ing hour and in warm weather we'll open an outside playground."
Manager Decaro pointed out other features of the new lauterette, which, if successful, the company plans to include in other cities.
Three sewing machines at one side can be rented by the hour, if mothers want to sew while the clothes wash and the baby gets entertained.
"Or they can rent them and take them home for six dollars a month and six free washes," Decaro said. "We'll rent television sets for $12 a month and 10 free washes."
Housewives also can buy granulated soap in wallpaper-covered cardboard drums, weighing up to 250 pounds, if they have home washers. There's even a frozen meal compartment. For 87 cents a woman can buy frozen swiss steak, peas and corn-serving for one.
Germ War Is Sigma XiTopic
The offense and defense for bacteriological warfare will be the subject of an open meeting at 7:30 p.m. Thursday of the University chapter of Sigma Xi, national honorary scientific research society. The public is invited to the meeting in 210 Blake hall.
Dr. Cora M. Downs, professor of bacteriology, and Dr. Russell C. Mills, head of the biochemistry department, will be the speakers. They were among the scientists called to Camp Detrick, Md., during World War II to develop the nation's bacteriological warfare program. Dr. Downs was a section chief for three years.
the Democrats should have been made to pay for this one, since it helped to defeat Dewey in the last election:
Since the war both have continued fundamental research programs on tularemia. Their work has been financed by the federal government through the Public Health service and the armed forces.
Language Courses Open This Summer
The curriculum will be limited to courses in Spanish and Portuguese and will cover a six or eight week period. Included will be the most modern linguistic teaching techniques. Details will be announced later.
Summer sessions will be held this year at the American Institute for Foreign Trade in Phoenix, Ariz.
"The trouble with Dewey is—he looks too much like a bridegroom on a wedding cake."
By the same token, he said, the Republicans made good use of this one, after President Truman wrote a music critic:
"I'd rather write than be president."
Trades Bond For Purse
Spokane, Wash. (U.P.)—Detective Joe Stoddard turned in this report at the police station. A 49-year-old woman, arrested for shoplifting an 18-cent piece of cheese, posted a $10 bond and then left the station, forfeiting it. Stoddard said as she left the station, she stole the police matron's lunch.
The bureau of naval personnel has modified requirements for direct commissions in the naval reserve.
Candidates must have a college degree when commissioned, but may now submit their applications 120 days prior to receipt of the degree. For the general line commission program requirements for mathematics and physics have been modified or cancelled.
Another change permits a man to apply after he has received his pre-induction physical examination notice from his local draft board if the candidate is attending school under an educational deferment, and application is made within the last 120 days prior to receipt of the degree.
Forced Landings In Jets Almost As Hard As Takeoffs
An Airport in Korea (U.P.)—The only thing harder than landing a jet fighter on a dirt strip one-sixth the size of a normal jet runway is taking the same plane off the same strip .
Navy Modifies Requirements
is taking the same plane on the same A jet pilot recently landed his F-80 Shooting Star on a 950-foot airstrip just behind the American lines.
He had to. He was out of fuel! But the man who went up to the strip a few days later to recover the plane had to sweat it out in his mind whether to try the impossible and attempt to fly it out.
He was Captain Alex M. Sentes, 29, a veteran pilot from Cleveland, Ohio, whose ability to fly jets is matched by his sense of humor.
Why did he decide to attempt the "impossible?"
"I didn't decide." Sentes said as he sat in the operations room of his home base. "They caught me by surprise. They came in here and asked if anyone had any Jato experience. I said yes. I thought they were going to ask me a question.
"They did. They said, 'How'd you like to go up and take that plane off'"
"Since we thought that the dirt strip was 1,6000 feet long, I said okay. With two Jato bottles and a hard surface, you can take a jet off in 1,500 feet. When I got there I found that the light artillery-spotter planes which had used the strip had abandoned it and it had shrunk—washed out at both ends.
"I paced off its length. I paced and paced, all day long. Each time, it measured only 950 feet."
"Till tell you how small it was—you could stand in the middle of the runway and see both ends," he said. "Of course, my eyes protruded out about this far."
JATO—Jet assisted takeoff—bottles are used for emergency takeoffs. They are attached to the fuselage, and when they are set off electrically, the thrust of their white-smoke exhaust gives a plane a tremendous boost during the few seconds before they are expended.
Enthusiasm for track could and should be improved at the University of Kansas according to Emil Schutzel, captain of Bill Easton's 1950-51 varsity track squad.
Schutzel Tells Pep Club Spirit At KU Should Be Better
Sentes took two JATO's along with him. Normally, planes don't use them. They fly from runways about a mile long. To Sentes, the rugged, sandy little airstrip was a shocker.
He held a hand in front of his dark brown eyes.
Captain Schutzel, speaking to the Red-Peppers, freshman women's pep organization, said the spirit behind the track squads at some of the Big 7 universities is very high, and the same enthusiasm would be appreciated here. "It is hard for an athlete to put out his best when there are no fans to cheer him on," Schutzel said.
He told the club about some of the track events, and explained the duties of the members of the squad. This was followed by a period for questions and answers.
His sharp face, shaded by the long bill of his flight cap, beamed with merriment. "There was an outfit of engineers camped at the end of the strip," he said. "They helped. We paced the field about ten times. We calculated the lightest fuel bad possible. My crew chief set the acceleration up. We put up flags to mark the soft spots in the strip and lined out an S-shaped takeoff path. We worked from 9 to 11 a.m. Then we all sat down around a stove, with a bunch of curious Koreans looking on, and figured out I couldn't make it."
Sentes grimmed. "It was funnier than hell. We sat there with all these figures and finally decided I couldn't make it.
"But all the engineers wanted to see_me try."
"They all had color film for their cameras."
"They're a real bunch of characters. One suggested we get a cable so a little L-5 spotter plane could pull me off."
They went to lunch, came back, and paced some more. They got a grader and filled up a drainage ditch which ran through the strip. Sentes ran some testi tests and decided he could make it.
The wind picked up and he was sure he could. The wind died down.
he wind picked up and he was sure he could. The wind died down.
He went anyway. He hung the tail over a rice paddy at the end of the runaway, gave it the gun, and fired the JATO.
Koreans scattered over the paddies, and he was off and away.
But, Sentes says, "T wouldn't want to try it again."
FLYING?
See
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
TRAVEL AGENCY
Phone 30 8th and Mass.
YOUR EYES
should be examined today. Call for appointment. Any lens or prescription duplicated.
Lawrence Optical Co.
Phone 425 1025 Mass.
A night to remember... diner at the club, then croustown to a dance under start skirts, then off to your favorite rendezvous for a midnight snack. Have fun, enjoy every minute - rent a big Chevrolet or other fine car from Hertz and drive it yourself. The car will be as private as your own, properly insured and filled with gas and oil. Call us or come in today - it's easy to rent a new car from Hertz ... day or night for as long as you want.
A RATE EXAMPLE ...
A car taken out on any day by a friend. It arrives 1,000 miles, returned before 0.0 P.M., costs only $0.00, includes gas, oil and insurance. More men ride. Additional mileage, 0.06 per mi
634 Mass, Phone 3701 or 1000
Patronize Kansan Advertisers!
RATES FOR HERTZ DRIVE-UR-SELF SERVICE
No minimum charge—No service charge-All rates include gas, oil, and insurance.
SHORT TRIP RATE 75c per hour plus 7c per mile
DAILY RATE $6.00 per day plus 7c per mile
WEEKLY RATE $25.00 per 7-day week plus 7c per mile
BRING IN RECEIPTS for gasoline and oil purchased en route and we will reimburse you.
634 Mass.
Bullg GALLAGHER MOTORS
Phone 1000