PAGE TEN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE. KANSAS THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 19 THU The Editors Report — OUR CONGRESSIONAL Hooky-Players ye ED Columnist Drew Pearson has lately begun a new crusade. This time it isn't a Friendship Train but an expose of how Congress conducts itself. If Mr. Pearson's deductions are correct—and anyone who has attended several sessions of either house will be inclined to think they are—then it looks like we do indeed have a "Congress in absentia." There are probably a good many reasons why the "people's representatives" show up so seldom for business. They have many pressing engagements. Some of them have to drop in on Hollywood to check the morals of movie stars. Others are quite busy seeking out subversive elements in the state department. Still others have speeches to make, calls to pay, luncheons to eat We admit being a Congressman is no easy job. It requires the stamina of a Missouri mule, the elusiveness of a Kansas Jayhawk, and a loud booming laugh. These seem to be the important qualities demanded in a Congressman. Of course, we have heard of other qualities a Congressman needs. But these have always been explained away with the wave of a hand. The debunkers tell us it really is not so important that Congress get anything done so long as it can make the public believe it is hard at work. This is the myth we humble voters must swallow down whole: Congress is hard at work. Yet what happens when—through some oversight usually—a bill is passed? It may be a bill involving millions of dollars and thousands of persons. It may have been passed by a bare quorum. Nothing is said unless the bill is an unpopular measure. If the bill passes unnoticed or is favorably received by the press and the nation, the gentlemen never fail to point out they voted for it. Often this is true. They were following instructions of party leaders. Then, with roaring tongue and burning eyes, the gentlemen in Washington tellffi us it is the nefarious work of a group of lobbyists. They neglect to mention that had they been present when the bill was brought up for a vote, they might have been able to prevent the bill being accepted. Congressmen, like everybody else, can't be wrong all the time. However, we feel the congressional hooky-players ought to turn up once in a while to find out when they are right. STANDARD DIALOG IN Union Cafeteria by Dale Fields "Cold hamburgers again today! You must be kidding." "No. . . corn fritters and apple sauce, too. It's a wonderful menu. Roast beef only 38 cents." "I think I'll eat somewhere else today. I've had enough of the Union's chow to last me a long time." "Well, it's a fact you can eat at most restaurants for the same price you pay at the Union. Only the food is better." "What gets me is how the Union serves ketchup—open bowls to collect dust. Did you know a student took some of that ketchup and ran tests on it? He found bacteria culture so thick you could literally peel it off in layers." "And how about the silverware? I don't think they've been checking it too closely. Noticed bits of food and soap scum on it. Been making a point to check mine closely before putting it on a tray." "What I get so burned up about is the price they charge. And they call it a non-profit cafeteria. I can get portions just as small downtown. Only I'd pay less." "Only bargains they have are pie and soup—ten cents. The rest of the glop can be matched elsewhere." "But what soup! They must throw in all the leftovers. You can always tell what they had last week if you buy soup. I use the term advisedly." "You don't get the service you pay for, either. And yet you end up with just about the same size bill in both places. I don't get it." "A lot of other students aren't getting it either. They are eating somewhere else. . . and not regretting it." "You would think the University would see that its cafeterias were kept in tip-top condition for students. I know lots of schools that have swell cafeterias. Prices much cheaper than here. And they even manage, I hear, to pay their help a living wage." "Well, I think I'll skip the Union tonight. Get a decent meal for a change." "Too bad something can't be done to better things." "What could we do?" "What could you do that hasn't been done?" "Perhaps an investigation?" "May as well ask for student council interference." "How about it?" "I 'How about a letter to the Kansan?' "That would be worse than useless." A graduate entomology student is reported as knowing more about chiggers than any other man. Rodney Nipnap, R.O.T.C. general, loudly denies this since he spent last summer in Texas where he became intimate with the "little beasties." TODAY'S MAIL Snake In The... Seated in a car parked in front of Dyche museum was a man. In the man's lap was a writhing snake—a snake about an inch in diameter and more than two feet long, yellowish in color with dark markings. Kind? Sir: With gloved hands the man held the snake and talked to a friend standing near the open window. As he talked the snake in the man's lap would crawl into the man's chest. The gloved hands would pull it down. The snake would squirm out over the ledge of the car window and the gloved hands would pull it back. Perhaps the snake was of a harmless variety. Perhaps the man with the gloved hands knew all about handling the snake. Perhaps the gloved hands were strong enough to keep the snake captive. If the snake were destined for a laboratory on the Hill, then it should have been brought there in a carrier. If no carrier were available and the snake had to be brought in then it should have been brought directly to its destination and not fondled in a parked car with an open window on a campus road. But the snake could have escaped. Harmless or not it could have scared the daylights out of a lot of Hill people. It might have bitten someone. Lew Sciortino Journalism senior Belated Sir: I would like to reply to a letter, printed April 19, for-the benefit of those who know me and who realize it more fully than I, that I am not, have never been, nor foresee any possibility of being the angel of divine goodness and right that Mr. Wildman, bless him, makes me to be. Still, I like to think I hold the interests of my fellow students close at heart. Walter Brown College junior University Daily Hansan News Room K.U.251 Adv. Room K.U.376 Member of the Kansas Press Assm. National Editorial Assm., Inland Daily Press Assm., and the Associated Collegeate Press. Represented by the National Advertising Service,420 Madison Ave., New York City. Student Newspaper of the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS James Morris Editor-in-Chief Doors Greenbank Managing Bank Business Mgr. Asst. Man. Editors ... Norma Hungerman Kay O'Cannon John Hill City Editor ... Edward Chapin Asst. City Editors ... John Jackson Martilyn Marks Elaine Elvig Steve Ferro Feature Editor ... Erika Kelley Photograph Editor ... Frankie Walts Telegraph Editor ... Robert Sigman William Graves Richard Tatum Lloyd Hollow Mona Millikin Sports Editor ... Richard Dilsaver Asst. Sports Editors ... Bob Leonard Roy Soland Arthur McInerny Mona Millikin Society Editor ... Fave Wilkinson Asst. Society Editors ... Billie Stover Emily Stewart Editorial Assts. ... Keith Leslie Adv. Mgr. ... Charles Reiner Cir. Mgr. ... Vyanne Josephand Nat. Adv. Mgr. ... Forrest Barb Classified Ad. Mgr. ... Lee Dyer Promotion Mgr. ... John Wiedenman REGULAR DINNERS - Fried Chicken - Steaks - Short Orders - RAY'S CAFE - REGULAR PRICES 709 Mass. 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