PAGE SIX
FRIDAY MARCH 17.1950
值
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 195
The Editorial Page-
Down Titoist Drain?
Is the recent approval of a second 20-million-dollar loan to Yugoslavia by the U.S. Export-Import bank simply money down a Titoist drain?
Critics of American foreign policy say that Tito is on too narrow a political limb to risk losing such a sum to possible Soviet overthrow of his government. Other critics point out that while Tito asks for these loans, accepts them, and uses them, he sticks firmly to his policy of independent communist ideology. And why, they ask, should we support a leader who, although not bound to Russian political beliefs, is an avowed communist?
But Yugoslavia is a leading producer of bauxite, mercury, copper, lead, and zinc, which it exports to the U.S. and other hard currency markets. The first loan of 20 million dollars was used primarily to re-establish these mining industries so the Yugoslav government could begin to build up its economy through export. The second loan will be used to buy U.S. capital equipment, machinery, steel and aluminum, chemicals, and fertilizers. With these materials Yugoslavia can keep the bottom from falling out of her economy.
United States economic aid to Yugoslavia is a wedge where the rent in the curtain is greatest. The farther Western help can pull Yugoslavia from the Russian shadow, the stronger the position of the West will be in all the satellite countries of the U.S.S.R. —Kay O'Connor.
In strengthening Yugoslav economy we are strengthening our position with Tito, whether he admits it or not. There is now a complete economic blockade of his country by the Soviet Union. He is now getting none of his badly needed oil, cotton, and machinery from Russia.
Out Of This World
It is true that Tito is a communist. But it is also true and of more importance to us that he is causing a large rift in the Soviet hold on satellite countries. Some anti-communist thinking remains in the countries now controlled by Russia. A member of the Communist party Central committee admitted this himself recently when he charged that Western and Titoist spies have thickly infiltrated the Communist party, trade unions, and nationalized enterprises of Czechoslavakia. With every United States loan to Yugoslavia Titoism is encouraged in Czechoslovakia, and in Poland, Bulgaria, Hungary and all communist-controlled countries. Citizens in the satellite states can see the advantage of turning to the West when one of their neighbors receives Western aid.
There are those who say that flying saucers are a figment of the imagination. They say that persons who see such things are drunk, crazy, or just plain stupid. They say there are no flying saucers.
Phooey! We think there are.
Now it just doesn't seem possible so many people could be having identical hallucinations. Some have gone so far as to describe the "things." Strangely enough their descriptions check with those of other "crazy" persons. We don't think all of them can be wrong.
True magazine believes in flying saucers. They have printed two articles telling about the interplanetary nightmares. The articles sound very plausible. At the outset readers may be skeptical, but near the end of each article a reader has softly put aside the magazine and become glassy-eyed. The ones with no imagination soon shrug off this feeling with a "hah" and stalk about their petty little tasks. They cannot grasp the full import of "things" from other worlds. But some have a srange feeling—a little jumpy, perhaps, but a strange feeling. We have a strange feeling.
Recently a flying saucer was reported to have crashed in Mexico. The reports are skimpy and not too reliable, but little men 30 inches high were found in the wreck. They were all dead, if in their world they die. It seems suspicious, too, that all recent sightings of the discs have centered about the area of the crash. The reason, of course, is simple: the other flying discs are searching for the one that crashed. We hope that if they don't find it they won't get mean and loose disintegrator rays upon us all.
Just imagine—men only 30 inches tall. They are probably bug-eyed and have four or five skinny arms with up to 10 fingers on each hand. They no doubt are almost all head with spindly stick-like legs. Growing out of the top of each little man is a radio antenna (frequency modulation) we would guess
-W.F.S.
We don't think the little men mean us any harm. But it's best to play safe. So if you come across any small men with five arms and a radio antenna on his head be careful and treat him kindly. Always remember-five arms can cause a lot of trouble.
The contest to pick the Kansas Relay's queen has begun, and it is being said that one of the requirements of a candidate is that she be able to run 100 yards in 10 seconds.
Rodney Nipnap warns that this is probably for the future queen's own good.
The Kansan soberly reported that a crab's teeth are in its stomach, and Uncle Swaybak says as far as he knows the ones he swallowed in '08 are still in his stomach, too.
By Bibler
Campus Quips
Another cat hunt is going on in Oklahoma. This one is in Norman, and is being carried on by student residents in some of the campus living quarters.
The students have police permission to shoot 14 cats that have been scratching their children and eating their groceries. So far all 14 are still alive. Poison, traps, nets, and rifles have failed to aid in O. U.'s cat depletion program.
"They're loaded with intuition. If I'm unarmed I have to fight my way through them, but when I get my gun, there's not a cat on the campus," said one student, Circulating petitions, mustering forces, and borrowing more nets—students are still trying.
That's not all. Even persons who possess the necessary I. Q. may fall down because they lack "number facility," or suffer from "mental repressions."
Chances are two to one that you are too dumb to fill out your income tax form. According to a professor at the Illinois Institute of Technology.
Glasses are the cause of the world's miserable outlook. At least that's what one University of Oklahoma senior thinks. He wore glasses for years before he finally broke them and saw what a wonderful place the world is. He went a week without glasses and this is what he has to say about it:
"It was like a 7-day holiday. Every girl was beautiful. Everybody had a pleasant expression on his face. All the houses were nice looking, and I couldn't even see that the trees didn't have a thing on them."
"What people see reflects in their thoughts and actions and glasses make things entirely too clear," the myopic senior declares. He feels that most alcoholics must be people who wear glasses. "They are used to an off-center existence, and when the light brightens with the addition of visual aids, they get discouraged. So they take some means of blurring the optic nerves again to bring back what they used to know."
Income tax figuring, he said,
should become a regular part of the
high school curriculum.
Portland, Ind.—(U.P.) — Sheriff Clarence Bishop reported $10,000 was stolen from the home of Mrs. Albert Keen, but was found three days later, hidden in a piece of tile about 400 feet from the home. Bishop theorized the thief got much more than he had expected and wfas afraid to steal so much money.
Too Much Money For Robber
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Little Man On Campus
'Everyone passed yesterday's shotgun—so we'll have another today.'
No Jail, Just Ribbing For 'Car Thieves'
Free legal advice and lots of friendly ribbing is going on in the offices of Paul B. Lawson, dean of the College, and Ethan P. Allen professor of political science, as a result of a "stolen car" incident Tuesday.
A black Chevrolet was near-by, and assuming a mistake in the color of the assigned car, the men got in and drove off to the meeting.
Dean Lawson and Dr. Allen had a blue Chevrolet assigned them for a trip to Olathe where both were scheduled to speak to the Northeast Kansas County Officers' association. At 9:30 am. Tuesday, both were ready to go. but no blue car.
"Dean Lawson made an address to the association," said Dr. Allen, "and I made a few remarks. We had lunch and left Olathe about 1 p.m.
"We were about 10 miles out of Lawrence when the state highway patrol stopped us and said we were driving a stolen car. They kept us in the car until they checked our identification. It turned out that car belonged to Richard Wagstaff. Mr. Wagstaff is assistant superintendent of buildings and grounds.
"I've gotten lots of legal advice since it happened." Dr. Allen commented. "But it seems to be mostly fun for everyone."
The
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LOUISA KENDALL
HORTON CLARK
DAVID LEWIS
in
TAMING of the SHREW
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Music Arranged by LEHMAN ENGEL
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Tues., March 21
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