PAGE SIX
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1950
The Editorial Page-
Wild Goose Calling
CHAIRMAN: "We have before us a problem of the gravest concern not only to the school but to the nation and world as well."
CONSERVATIVE: "Oh, come now."
CONSERVATIVE: "What are they talking about?"
CHAIRMAN: "That problem, gentlemen, if you will restore order, is the Eagle."
LIBERAL: "Booooo . . ."
CHAIRMAN: "Please, a little more dignity, gentlemen."
CONSERVATIVE: "Mr. Chairman. I want to say in the presence of all my learned associates that I want to go on record, as I feel I must, against . . ."
LIBERAL: "Against! against! Always against something, you backward-looking, misguided trouble makers!"
CONSERVATIVE: "Now, just a minute, good sir. I would give pause before making such brash statements. You damned pink!"
LIBERAL: "Who are you calling a pink? Why . . ."
CHAIRMAN: "Please, please gentlemen. Shut up, will you." INNOCENT: "What did he say?"
CONSERVATIVE: "As I was saying, there is no earthly, and
CONSERVATIVE: "As I was saying, there is no earthly; and may I say heavenly reason either why someone should object to our publication. We just express our views. If any one objects to them, or to the way we edit our gentle magazine, why they're just pinks. Pinks! I say."
LIBERAL: "Why, you scum. I don't object to your magazine. It's just that it's all a damn lie, and furthermore the journalistic quality stinks. How dare you print anything not up to New York Times standards—that reactionary paper."
INNOCENT: "What are they talking about?"
INNOCENT: "Who, me?"
CONSERVATIVE: "You're right there, old man, but just the same you're a lousy, rotten, Fair Dealing pink." INNOVATING? WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
CHAIRMAN: "Gentlemen, shut up! Shut up!"
LIBERAL: "This is a free country—I can say what I damn please, but that doesn't go for those dangerous conservatives." CONSERVATIVE: "Oh, yeah?" STUDENT: "Will it do you?"
CHAIRMAN: "Now, gentlemen, let me say that I do not or am not willing, at this time, to defend the facts of the Eagle, but I will defend with my life their right to say them!"
STUDENT: "That sounds familiar."
CHAIRMAN: "Yes, peasant, I think some Russian said it."
LIBERAL: "In all my 19 years of experience as a living thing I have never known anything so disgraceful. . ."
STUDENT: "Enough! enough!"
STUDENT: "Enough! enough!"
He's right. Enough.
—WFS
Ace In The Hole?
The poker game is still going on in Moscow. It has entered its seventh week.
China's Red Master Mao Tse-tung sits across the table from Stalin.
Those left out of the game—everyone in the outside world—can reasonably guess that the game has dragged on because of some grandiose planning for the next wave of Communist expansion in East Asia or because of some ruthless bullying and tortuous haggling over the price of comradeship.
This poker game's kibitzer, New York Times correspondent Cyrus Sulzberger, tells us four of the cards Stalin probably holds.
They are: 1) Control of seven key ports in North China. 2) More food from Manchuria to Russia although much of China faces famine. 3) A labor force of 50,000 Chinese to work on projects in the Soviet Union. 4) More rights for non-Chinese minorities (Turkis, Mongols, and Tibetians) in the border regions adjoining the U.S.S.R.
Or maybe the Russian hand does hold an ace. It could be that "Maoism" is in the making-a junior partnership for the Chinese in a joint Red drive toward Japan and Southeast Asia that would build up a pot large enough for all the comrades.
Those are four of the cards in Stalin's hand, according to Sulzberger. Does Stalin have an ace in the hole? Is he bluffing in face of the risk of creating a greater Titoism in China? Could it be that Moscow learned nothing in Yugoslavia when Stalin sat across the poker table from Tito?
Sulzberger reports that the Chinese-with Mao playing their hand—hope to gain almost $3 billion in financial aid and industrial equipment. They also want huge supplies of arms, especially aircraft for use against Formosa.
Will the last card be down and dirty?
'Small Things'
—Charles Reiner
Florida has done it again. Huge neon signs to be erected in New York's Times Square, Chicago's Loop, and in Philadelphia will show the northern peasants the hourly temperature in Miami. Presumably Miami will send along a man to throw lemons at any disbelievers.
University
Daily Hansan
News Room Adv. Room
K.U. 251 K.U.376
Student Newspaper of the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
Member of the Kansas Press Assn. National Editorial Assn., Inland Daily Press Assn., and the Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by the National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Ave., New York City.
Editor-In-Chief .. Warren Saas
Managing Editor .. Kay Dyer
Asst. Managing Ed.. Doris Greenbank
Asst. Managing Ed.. Dale W. Fields
City Editor .. Lena Lailah
Asst. City Editor .. Francis Kelley
Asst. City Editor .. John S. Hill
Asst. City Editor .. Robert Signan
Asst. City Editor .. Edward Chapin
Feature Editor .. Kay O'Connor
Society Editor .. William Kearley
Asst. Society Ed... Fay Wilkinson
Asst. Society Ed... Elaine Elvig
Telegraph Editor .. Norma Hunsinger
Asst. Tel. Ed. Ralph Hemenway
Asst. Tel. Ed. Owen Wright
Asst. Tel. Ed. Harman Modak
Sponsor Editor .. Nelson Ober
Asst. Sports Ed.. Richard Dilsaver
Asst. Sports Ed.. Robert Leonard
Asst. Sports Ed.. Robert Enright
Business Manager...Bob Day
Adv. Manager...James Shriver
Nat. Adv. Mgr...Robert Honnold
Cir. Mgr...Dorothy Hogan
Classified Adv. Mgr...Forrest Bellus
Promotion Mgr...Charles Reiner
The temperature of the burning end of a cigarette is between 1200 and 1325 degrees Fahrenheit.
should be examined today. Call for appointment. Any lens or Prescription Duplicated.
Phone 425 1025 Mass.
Lawrence Optical Co.
Just a Reminder
MAKE ONE CALL DO ALL
When you send your LAUNDRY send your DRY CLEANING
We can take care of everything in your wardrobe. And we work miracles on house furnishings too.
INDEPENDENT
LAUNDRY AND DRY CLEANERS 740 Vermont Phone 432
Read the University Daily Kansan—Patronize Its Advertisers.
The Department of Speech and Drama
presents
The Kansas State Players in
THE MISER
at
Fraser Theatre 8:15
TONIGHT ONLY
I-D Card and Season Ticket Holders Admitted Free General Public Admission .50
DOOR OPEN AT 7:30