THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1. 1949
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAS LAWRENCE, KANSAS
PAGE NINE
United States Is Source Of Jokes In Great Britain
London—(U.P.) All you have to do in Britain today to be a successful comic is tell a joke about the socialist government or the United States.
The British always have been ready to laugh at their leaders but no government in its history has been the butt of so many gags on the stage, the screen, and even the nationalized radio as this one.
"Tm glad to be here," cracked Charlie Chester, British comic, from the stage of the Palladium Theater were Danny Kaye and other American stars frequently appear. "Of course, I wrote a letter to the American consul asking permission."
In radio there is reportedly some mild censorship to ensure that jokes about cabinet members or party leaders are funny and not vicious. But the wraps are off in the music halls.
The United States is getting a slight roasting as the home of the elusive dollar, which all Britons agree is the cause of all their trouble.
Having'dumped his audience in the aisles with that one Mr. Chester continued:
Other gags that have titilled Britons these days of economic crisis include:
"If the streets were paved with old, we'd need dollars to buy pickes."
Radio comic (in mock commender
style)—"1940 the days when
bruins stood alone—and oh how she
could stand a loan today."
Straight man charging on stage with the ancient battle cry;
Comic—"Everything else for ex-bort."
Then there is the story about Mr. Churchill arising in a bus to give his seat to Mrs. Attlee, wife of the prime minister.
"Thank you," says Mrs. Attlee.
"Don't mention it," murmurs Mr.
murchill, "I hope your husband will
do the same for me—very soon."
A west end comic drew a howl when he told his audience:
"I've just been listening to Churetnill's speech. He'd never get away with it—if Mr. Attie were alive," Comic Ted Ray discusses with his
Kansas May Have Ceramics Industry
There are great opportunities for booming ceramics industry in Kansas, a report of the state geological survey has discovered. The raw materials for ceramics—making brick, tile, and pottery—are thick and accessible in the up-and areas of about two-thirds of the northern sections of the state. Intervals in intervals the glacier periods spread silt that make good pottery. Members of the state geological survey have been studying wind-blown silts of Kansas for the past few years.
They have discovered that the deepest deposits are 195 feet thick ear the Missouri valley in Donipan county.
These silts represent several advantages for use by ceramic industries — distribution across the length of the state, nearness to the ground surface, inexpensiveness of excavation, high uniformity, and the variety of products that can be manufactured from the silts.
radio wife a new electrical gadget to make morning tea automatically:
wish we had something to
necessary to prepare eggs
and bacon (the egg is just
a little messy).
"We have," snaps Ted—"Strachey"
(food minister).
From a current show:
"Where is the capital of Russia?" "Moscow."
"And the capital of France?" "Paris."
Butterfield Elected Ward T President
"And the capital of England?" "In the United States."
Darrell L. Butterfield, College sophomore, was elected president of ward T, at a meeting of the unorganized independent group Monday night. Leonard W. Rozin, graduate student, was elected vicepresident and social chairman; James L. Masterson, business senior, treasurer; Conrad R. McEwen, engineering senior, secretary; and Henry D. Newmann, education junior. Independent Student council representative.
Ward I will hold a dance Friday from 9 to 11 p.m. in the Palm room of the Union. All independent women not living in organized houses are invited. Social functions for the group will be financed by a monthly assessment of $1 from each member.
The next meeting will be at 7 p.m. Monday Dec. 5 in 110 Fraser hall.
New Bern, N. C.—(U.P.)—Disgruntled citizens, who decide they need a swift kick in the pants, flock to the road-side self-kicker owned by Tom Haywood.
Self-Kicker Draws Crowds To Use It
There are four spokes on a wheel, each spoke fitted with a heavy shoe. The operator places himself in position, spins the crank and gives himself a healthy boot right where he meant to.
Mr. Haywood built the machine for himself in 1937 but his neighbors found so much use for it that he moved it to the highway for the use of the general public.
Self-kickers wore out three pairs of shoes before Mr. Haywood got tired of the idea. Then a stranger, who really felt that he needed a good punt, put on a fourth pair of shoes.
This year, Mr. Haywood bowed to public demand, put on a new set of brogans and went back into public service.
World War II veterans discharged before July 25, 1947, must start their G.I. bill education or training before July 25, 1951, and those discharged after July 25, 1947, must begin their courses within four years after discharge, the Veterans administration reported recently. In both cases training must be completed by July 25, 1958.
Disabled veterans of World War II may begin education or training under public law 16 at any time after discharge, but must complete the courses by July 25. 1956.
The G.I. bill readjustment allowance program has ended for most World War II veterans. Those discharged after July 25, 1947, however, may apply for the unemployment and self-employment allowances at any time within two years after discharge, but no payments will be made after July 25, 1952.
Alpha Kappa Psi, professional business fraternity pledged 23 University students and faculty members Tuesday in the Kansas room of the Union.
World War II veterans who in service lost, or lost the use of, one or both legs at or above the ankle may be entitled to receive an automobile or other conveyance at government expense. They have until June 30, 1950, to apply.
A veteran of World War II who applies for new insurance, or to reinstate a lapsed policy, generally must furnish the V.A. with satisfactory evidence of good health.
The 23 pledged were: Jack Heysinger, John H. Stevens, Donald Thompson, and John T. Weatherwax, economics instructors; George R. Johnston, Wade R. Stinson, and Glenn W. Taylor, business seniors; J. Eugene Balloun, Roger L. Davis, Charles R. Hall, Lewis F. Jagger, James L. McCormick, Robert C. Orr, Donald E. Powell, James R. Selig, Carl E. Stallard, Paul W. Strand, Bill Van Bebber, Max O. Weber, Marvin E. Wilhite, business juniors; LR.B. Lester A. Davis, and Bruce W. Zuercher, College sophomores.
Alpha Kappa Psi Takes 23 Members
GI's Must End Sir Harry Lauder Fights Study By '56 Death As Tributes Pour In
Tom Page, political science instructor, will talk on "The Cure for Apathy" at the professional meeting of the fraternity tonight. The meeting will be held at 8 p.m. in the Crystal room of the Hotel Elridge.
Oil and gas property rights and the development of their legal definitions were discussed by Dr. E. A. Stephenson, former chairman of the petroleum engineering department, at a meeting of the American Institute of Mining and Metallurgical Engineers Tuesday.
Oil And Gas Land Rights Discussed By Stephenson
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Strathaven, Scotland—(U.P.)The famous crooked cane is in a closet with the kilts and the bonnet, and Sir Harry Lauder, the minstrel of Scotland, knows he may never need them again.
In the three months since he suffered a stroke that would have killed a younger man, the 79-year-old entertainer has been fighting his way back slowly to an awareness of the world around him.
He knows from the doctor's daily visits and the thousands of messages pouring in on his home, that it was a very close thing, as his neighbors say. And he appears to recognize that at his age the combination of cerebral thrombosis and uremia is a tough one to beat.
Only one visitor is allowed in his bedroom, his niece, Miss Gret Lauder. She reads him the newspapers and the good wishes from such friends as Winston Churchill and Danny Kaye, and lets him listen to the radio for a few minutes. But she firmly refuses his suggestions that he be permitted a pipeful of tobacco. The doctors have forbidden it.
The daily medical bulletin still says Sir Harry had a "comfortable"
day or night. But fears persist that he may be weakening slightly. Several times Miss Lauder has spent most of the night at his bedside.
The doctors say it is the old ministrel's spirit that is keeping him alive, the same strentgh and drive that took him from a humble home to wealth and world fame.
Mr. Churchill's message was one to a dear friend. They first met in 1910 when the wartime Prime Minister was a youthful home secretary. When they last met in 1946, Mr. Chorchill asked Sir Harry to sing his favorite song: "Keep Right on to The End of The Road."
It is one of Sir Harry's favorites, too.
Country roads are almost always sixty-six feet wide because that was the width of the original surveyor's chain.
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