PAGE SIX
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
MONDAY, SEPT. 26, 1949
The Editorial Page
The Day's Work
Last week, higher education rolled inexorably onward in the 1.800 colleges and universities in the United States and Canada.
Exactly 963 chancellors, presidents and chief executives told freshman convocations that they should "have fun in school, but not to forget that education is the primary reason you are here."
Fifty-six thousand students staggered back to their houses and announced to roommates that they had flunked the first exam of the year. Nearly all of these made high "A's" and knew it.
More than 200,000 students strolled out of quizzes and told roommates: "It wasn't so bad. Nothing like I expected." Nearly all of them refused to let the roommates see the papers when they got them back.
Almost 2,000 college politicians told more than one million students that "all must participate in this, the most crucial of all elections in campus history." A fraction of the one million even knew there were elections. A fraction of this fraction voted.
Coldly efficient, 3,500 professors strode into their classrooms and said abruptly: "Take a piece of paper."
Smilingly pleasantly, 4,500 minced into their classrooms and said disarmingly: "Well, guess we might as well have a little shotgun today." Both types feigned surprise at the groans of the classes.
Exactly 1,799 football coaches (the University of Chicago has no football team) announced that "We'll be lucky if we even score this year."
More than one thousand cheerleaders thought it would be "cute" to dress up a puppy in the school colors and exhibit him at football games.
at wooden games.
Desperate, some 1,250 student newspapers ran editorials like this. Some 2,000 students, including the editors and their roommates, read the editorials.
—JWS
We Shoulda Stayed Home
The 77th annual commencement exercises have been over for three months now, but the complaints are still with us. The University tried hard to be impressive, but the result was pretty much of an ordeal for both the seniors and the audience.
Mother and Dad traveled, two, three, or four hundred miles to see Junior or Sis graduate, but all they saw was a huge wooden frame covered with some kind of green foliage. They had expected to at least be able to hear what was going on, but due to a faulty public address system, they could not. When Fred Harris, chairman of the board of regents, said something funny, the seniors applauded. The rest of the audience applauded too, thinking that he was through. Imagine their surprise and chagrin when he started in again!
When the moment came for Junior to walk across the platform to get a blank roll of paper, Mom and Dad had to speculate whether that fellow there, or the third one behind that tall girl was Junior. It was pretty hard to tell in that mystic darkness wav down there.
The University ought to have realized that with such a large graduating class the audience would be larger. Five or six thousand people cannot all manage to sit in front of the speaker's stand and take in the impressive array of scenery.
They ought also to have realized that Mom and Dad came mainly to see Junior walk alcross that platform. They don't particularly give two hoots in an unmentionable place about the other 1,600. There should have been strong floodlights on the platform.
While we're at it, we might as well pass along a complaint from the seniors. They were asked to turn in their caps and gowns immediately after the "ceremony." That was all right except that all 1,700 of them were expected to do this in the quonset hat behind强牢 hall. The University should have provided one place for the first half of the alphabet and another place for the second half. It would have helped.
—Marvin Rowlands
"Small Things"
The German department will present a film on Swedish school life entitled "Torment," and did they think they had to go to Sweden for material?
The world trembles on the brink of chaos, but the big news coming from the U.N. these days is Mrs. Roosevelt's new hairdo and red wedgies.
No, Dyche museum is not a collection of dams and levees, we explained to the Engineering freshman.
"Western Civ" is not a kitchen utensil, we explained to the home ec freshman.
Subsistence checks are due Nov. 10, and veterans are asking desperately if this pound devaluation will be of any possible aid.
Duplicate Forms Delay Insurance
Veterans who have forwarded incomplete applications for the special National Service Life insurance dividend are asked not to send in a second application, the Veterans administration announced today.
The correct or missing information can be supplied by the V. A., it was pointed out.
Mailing of duplicate applications by veterans will disrupt the "dividend production lines" and will result in general delay, the V.A. said.
Already veterans are receiving acknowledgment of dividend applications from Washington.
Upstream Mag Into Second Year
Any assistance concerning veterans affairs may be secured through the V.A. regional office at 1828 Walnut street, Kansas City, Mo.
Upstream Magazine will begin its second year of publication with the September issue which goes on sale Wednesday, Sept. 28.
Albert Roland, editor, said. Upstream's first issue of the year will contain an editorial restating the policy of the magazine, and articles by Dale Judy and Stanley Kelly, graduates in political science; Roland, graduate in English, and Robert Witt, instructor in sociology and faculty advisor of Upstream.
Other articles in this issue include "Big Wheels on the Campus," with verse portraits of the important guy, the cynic, and the most datable male; books and movie reviews; a poem by Ann Ackerman, College junior, and a story by Charles Schuler, a contributor to New Writers magazine.
"Upstream discusses the everyday problems which confront University students," Roland said. "We try not to let any prejudice prevent an objective approach to the subjects treated in our magazine," he added.
Upstream will sell for 25 cents. Subscription to the five issues to be published this year is $1, payable at the Y.M.C.A. office in the Union building.
120,000 Books Now In New Addition
The new stacks in the southeast corner addition to Watson library already holds 120,000 volumes, C. M. Baker, director of libraries, said today.
He pointed out that when the remaining stacks, which now are on order, arrive, the new wing will hold 140,000 volumes. The new stacks have eased the crowded conditions in the library.
The work of moving the books from one part of the library to the new stacks is in progress. The stacks were installed shortly after the first of July, during the Summer Session.
Call K.U. 251 With Your News.
University Daily Hansan
Student Newspaper of the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
Member of the Kansas Press Assn. National Editorial Assn., Inland Daily Press Assn., and the Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by the National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Ave., New York City.
Editor in Chief ... James W. Scott
Managing Editor ... Marvin Rowlands
Asst. Managing Ed. ... Ruth Keller
Asst. Managing Ed. ... Rilee
Asst. Managing Ed. ... Russ Oleson
Asst. City Editor ... Norma Hunsinger
Asst. City Editor ... Robert Overton
Asst. City Editor ... Keith Leslie
Feature Editor ... Dorn Greenbank
Artist ... Jeff Walsh
Asst. Sports Editor ... George Brown, Jr.
Asst. Sports Editor .. Jim Van Valkenburg
Telegraph Editor ... Kay Dyer
Asst. Telegraph Ed. ... Don Morris
Asst. Telegraph Ed. .. Douglas Jennings
Society Editor ... Alain Bright
Asst. Society Ed. .. Frankie Waits
Business Manager          Lew Scortino
Advertising Manager        Kevin Cox
Advertising Agent        Dean Knuth
Promotion Manager        Chuck Foster
Recruitment Manager      Bonnie Gimblett
Classified Adv Manager    Bonnie Gimblett
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(2 doors south of Pattee Theatre)
832 Mass.
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Patronize the Advertisers in the University Daily Kansan.
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