PAGE SIX UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 1949 As The Kansan Sees It . . . A.KU Driver's Lament When earth's last mountain was finished. And made parking lots for K.U. And earth's last swamp had its due, They took the rest of the slopes and mud He that hath chains shall pass, brother. And he that hath not, shall stay, Till his engine's a rusted ruin And his tires have moldered away. He shall sit with his wheels a-spinning And he that hath faith in his fellows Till the steam pours off the block, Till the clutch is burnt to tatters And the rods begin to knock. Shall lose it some jolly morn, As his doors are exchanged for archways And his fenders are crumpled and torn. He shall know the bitter anguish Of a body and fender bill, For this slimy tribe sucks its living He shall flee from the little green goblins From drivers who park on the hill with blue cards in their hands. With blue cards in their hands. They shall chase him from every flat, dry spot To the hellish no-man's lands. He shall yearn for the wide reserved lots. Reserved for Heaven knows who, He shall see them stay wide and empty While he churns in a sea of goo. His alcohol boille away, brother, His oil it runneth low. His classes begin without him, The people who are screaming, should stop one moment and con- Though he hears the whistle blow. Oh cursed is the K.U. driver! is the K.C. driver. He shall park in an ocean of crud. He shall hang from the side of a mountain, And mire to his axle in mud. Cranklefender, John, From Parking Lot C Letters To The Editor - Bitter Bird— Foul Or Funny? Dear Editor: It seems to be open season on the Bitter Bird now that the A.W.S. has taken its shot at the magazine. As a married man who likes to think of himself as having a mature sense of humor, I must sheepishly admit I enjoyed my copy of the Bird. Obviously this makes me a lecher and I apologize to the president of A.W.S. for being so evil minded. Nevertheless, let me make a few observations. The A.W.S. implies that the magazine should be banned or censored. Fine, but let's complete the job. If we suppress the Bitter Bird for its sexy viewpoint, let's also ban the Dove for its leftist viewpoint, the Eagle for its rightist viewpoint, and the Daily Kansan for having any viewpoint at all. Finally, it might be a good idea to ban the person who forced the members of the A.W.S. to read the Bitter Bird. I suggest that the offended persons should refuse to buy the magazine instead of attempting to deny the right of others to accept or reject the publication. If the Bitter Bird's humor is in bad taste, it is in equally bad taste for any campus organization to set itself up as an all-wise judge of moral standards. Marvin R. Heembrock Engineering junior It is with regret that I read the articles and the letter by the president of the Associated Women Students, appearing in the Kansan censuring the latest issue of the Bitter Bird. In my opinion, the magazine was typical of college humor and, in fact, is in no worse taste than some of our popular magazines or radio programs. If a person will listen to Bob Hope or Authur Godfrey (he must mean Arthur Godfrey), he can probably find room to censure them for their foul humor occasionally. Dear Editor: sider themselves. Only a foul mind could hope to realize foul humor. There is a saying "It takes one to know one." There is good and bad in anything and what you find is what you are looking for. Therefore, it is revealing to note that some of the minds on the campus, who hate to admit they are not beyond the reach of obsceness, are trying to alleviate the situation by putting the magazine and its publishers on trial instead of themselves. I am afraid that education has for some minds been sadly wasted. Since I have seen no letters defending the Bitter Bird, I do not expect this letter to be published. However, to make sure that the publishers and the faculty advisor do not go to court thinking no one has gone on record in favor of the Bitter Bird, I am sending a copy of this letter to Mr. Conrad (he must mean Conard.) Editor's note: First, as for your not seeing any letters published defending the Bitter Bird, the reason is very simple--your letter was the first one we received. George R. Learned College senior Second, as for your statement that "Only a foul mind could hope to realize foul humor," we would like to take exception. You can't have lived as long as the majority of present day college students have, and not have been exposed to a great many sodid things in life, actually or vicariously. Therefore, most any student on the campus should be a fair judge of foul humor when it hits him in the face. If there is only one meaning intended, how can any other meaning be derived by the reader—whether foul-minded or otherwise. We don't say the Bitter Bird should be banned, or the persons connected with it punished. We do feel that the editors in the future should be a little more discriminating in their selection of material. Call K.U. 251 With Your News. Chalk Talk Several restaurant owners are contributing to delinquency of coeds by providing free nickels for the girls to play the pinball machines. One girl said, "I really don't understand how to play, but I won 40 cents on two nickels." For two weekends a fraternity man escorted rushees through Dyche museum. The third weekend, he decided to steer clear of the place with his rushees, so he asked University Daily Kansan Student Newspaper of the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS Member of the Kanaa Press Assn. Press Assm. and the Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by the National Ad- service; Service420 Madison Ave, New York City. Editor-in-Chief...Anne Murphy Managing Editor...Bill F. Mayer Assist. Man. Editor...Mark J. Asst. Man. Editor...Richard D. Barton City Editor...Nora Temple Asst. City Editor...Harold Reddock Assist. City Editor...George Asst. City Editor...James Morris Sports Editor...Marvin Rowlands Assist. Sports Editor...David Assist. Sports Editor...Bud Wright Tel. Editor...Larry Funk Asst. Tel. Editor...Russell Oleson Asst. Tel. Editor...Rafael R. Society Editor...Naomi Reddock Asst. Soc. Ed...Virginia Frost Business Manager Don Welch Management Don Welch Charles Chan Don Welch Natl Air Mgr. Bob Boliote Circulation Mgr. Dean Knuth William Willson William Willson Promotion Mgr. Jaisse Gissen them where they would like to go. He was a little chagrined when one of them said, "I understand the University has a terrific museum of natural history." It seems one of the professors in the business school likes life saver mints so well he devised a clever method of getting them from pocket to mouth in class without being observed by the students. He later was heard to exclaim, "Why I didn't"t even know we had a museum until I took biology as a sophomore!" The students have a hard time controlling their laughter at his antics. Then there's the one about the effervescent young English instructor who used a quotation in class, then commented that his mother had been frightened by an old quotation. From the back of the room came a soft voice, "And lo, there came a monster . . ." More than 5,000 elk were killed by hunters in Idaho in 1947. You Name It — We Have It CRAB — LOBSTER — FROGLEGS and EXCLUSIVE CALIFORNIA SHRIMP Our Seafoods Are Second To None DUCK'S --time times times 25 words or less ---- 35c 65c 90c Each additional word 1c 2c 3c For 18c I can advertise to 10,000 readers Students, faculty, and mail subscribers total up over 10,000 readers of your Daily Kansan. Miss Wisepenny recognizes a bargain! Figure it out for yourself. A twenty-five word classified ad, running five days, costs ninety cents. That's just eighteen cents an ad. Low rates plus big readership gets you results that pay off. To place your classified ad, phone KU 376. Call K.U. 376 Classified Advertising Rates .