PAGE SIX
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
FRIDAY, JANUARY 16, 1943
The Editorial Page
Too Many Pots On The Stove
Once there was a little girl who was learning to cook. Her mother told her than until she had had years of practice, she must cook on only one burner at a time. "Otherwise," the mother warned, "you'll become confused and not have enough time to tend all the pots on the stove. The potatoes will be scorched, the steak will burn, and the whole meal will be ruined."
So she put the coffee in the coffee maker, the steak in the skillet, the potatoes in the frying pan, the pudding in the pot, and set them on the fire. "This is fine," she thought. "I can do them all at once, and won't Mamma be proud of me."
One day when the mother was gone, the little girl decided that she would cook dinner all by herself. Being an ambitious and self-confident child, she decided to cook the meal all at once, none of this one thing-at-a-time stuff.
But when Mamma returned, the house was dark with the smoke of burned food, and the child was in tears. The meal was ruined, and at a glance, the mother saw what was wreng.
The little girl followed her mother's advice at first. She put on the potatoes and watched to see that they didn't boil dry. When the potatoes were done, she fried the steak, and when the steak was done she made the gravy. The meal was good.
"You had too many pots on the stove," she told the child, "I'd have thought more of you if you had cooked only one thing but cooked it well."
As University students, how many of us have too many pots on the activities stove? "Mother" University should tell some of us to wait until the steak is done before we make the gravy.
Rodney Morrison says about the time a new date "thaws out," the slush begins.
Speaking of songs, radio advertisers evidently don't realize how disgusted is the radio listeners when he finally dials a good program, only to hear an offensive intimate voice hawking palliatives for everything from dandruff to "irregularity."
University
Student Newspaper of the
UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
Daily hansan
Member of the Kansas Press Assn, National Election Board, and the Associated Collegeate Press represented by the National Advertising Service 420 Madison Ave.
... Allan Cromley
Editing Editor ... Martha Jewett
Assst Man. Editor... Alverna Niedens
... Alan J. Stewart
City Editors... John Wesler
... Gene Vignieri
Sports Editor... Cooper Rollow
Assst Sports Editors... Paul Zeh
... Bob Dollinger
Telegraph Editor... John Stunfer
Assst Tol. Editor... Larry Leiter
Assst Tol. Editor... Casper Brochmann
Picture Editor... Hal Nelson
Society Editor... Barbara Felt
Business Manager... John Bergstrom
Advertising Manager... Betty Bacon
Circulation Mgr... Dave Clymer
Classified Adv. Man... Sally Rowe
Pernicious Chivalry
Sometime back in the dark ages, when knights were bold and ladies were already becoming bolder, some fool got the added notion that a gentleman must accompany his lady on the outside of the walk. Either history or rumor has it that the man did this to keep his little flower from being run over by horses and carriages in the street. Although his gentle companion was at least as agile as he, the poor guy accepted the custom, little knowing what he was letting his sex in for.
Today as a member of the weak-headed sex accompanies the weaker sex down the street, this pernicious custom passed down by his unsuspecting ancestors causes him to perform a sort of dance at each turn. First he's on the left, then on the right, then running to catch up with his free swinging companion, who's usually sounder in wind and limb anyway.
The changeover from inside to outside is a variation of the Notre Dame shift, a sort of hop, skip, and then run like a rabbit. With his fair friend rapidly gaining ground, the male must do a half-left or half-right oblique, without stepping on her heels. When he reaches the outside, he finds himself several strides behind, with his companion putting on steam like a thoroughbred going into the home stretch.
At this point comes the real test, because the man knows that no woman will slow down to let him catch up. So he gathers himself together, and with a supreme effort he comes alongside his gentle friend just in time to make another turn.
Meanwhile, not a horse is in sight, and sleek autos have been cruising by with no apparent intent to run down the "protected" one on the inside. And our hero, by this time laden with packages, struggles along, trying to do his Notre Dame shift, juggle his load, and keep up with the "weaker" sex.
As he mechanically executes his last maneuver before reaching home, or hero suddenly realizes why women live longer than men—they just 'n' have to walk as far.
etaoins and shrdlus
In Paris, the glove industry announced the creation of a two-handed glove, designed for holding hands in chilly movie houses. Love in France goes on, fuel shortage or no fuel shortage.
A bald councilman in West Virginia fights tooth and cannail for a measure to forbid barbers to charge ridges mans than 25 cents for haircuts. He didn't suggest that the snipers be prohibited from cleaning up an expensive hair-grower tonics.
By HAL NELSON
Alf M. Landon was barred recently from New York's Metropolitan Opera club because he wasn't wearing tails. His comment: "It's not
First time I was barred from a place."
With the conclusion of a successful football season, the cheerleaders would like to express their hearty and sincere thanks to everyone on the Hill.
1. Congratulations to the University student body, which supported the football team with more enthusiasm and spirit than has been witnessed on Mt. Oread for many years previously.
To the University:
2. Thanks to the University band and Professor Wiley, who furnished us with pep bands on a minute's notice when needed. Thanks a lot for the rah rah music at every game.
Rumors are circulating in this country to the effect that Stalin is dead, Freposterous! Hasn't The Almighty heard of the Russian veto?
Open Letter
3. Thanks to E. C. Quigley, Earl Falkenstien, Coach Sauer, and others of the athletic department who helped us in many pinches and made our job so pleasant.
4. An especially hearty "thank you" goes to L.E. Woolley, manager of the University book store, who bought us the electric megaphones which were out to good use throughout the season.
5. We thank the University administration, especially Chancellor Malott and Dean Woodruff, who helped us in more ways than are known. Thanks for the rallies, time off from classes, and talks.
6. Thanks to the University Daily Kansas, which gave us such good publicity for every event and for keeping the students well posted on our stunts and mimeuvers.
8. A very special "thanks" to Gov Frank Carlson, who made it possible for the band and cheerleaders to go to Miami. It was wonderful.
7. Thanks to the campus and Law- rences police, who approved our maneuvers and allowed us to remain prisoners-at-large.
9. To the greatest of coaches,
George Sauer, thanks very much
or the rep talks and the co-operation
you gave us.
10. And above all, THANKS TO THE FOOTBALL TEAM FOR MAKING IT SUCH A SUCCESSFUL SEASON. Thanks for your patience with us, for speaking at our rallies, and for playing such great football
Rally Rally Rock Chalk University Cheerleaders
We'll see some of you at the next basketball game.
Things are coming to a pretty pass when students can't attend their favorite joint for an evening of relaxation. As one coed puts it: "I don't dare go to the joints any more. My instructors might see me."
Fulton Lewis, Jr., has been suggested as a possible candidate for president in the next election. Funny someone hasn't asked Walter Winchell to run. Of course, Winchell probably wouldn't enjoy fighting a handful of politicians after feuding with the whole Russian Communist party. That would be like trying to get a bulldog to play with a rubber bone while a cat walked by.
Signs seem to reflect the spirit of the times as shown by this one on the front of a local mortuary: "The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away." Some wag had crossed out "Lord" and penciled in "Banks." Not to be outdne, a second passerby had substituted "Republicans."
The average American man today can expect to live to be 63, but some doctors think he should live to 150. The idea probably will never gain popularity. Who would want to file so many income tax returns?
Why not run Kilroy for president? His campaign has been before the public for years.
Read the Daily Kansan daily.
SIZZLING STEAKS
with
FRENCH FRIED ONIONS
Duck's Tavern
824
VERMONT
Basketball
TONITE
8:30 O'Clock Community Building
Poehler Merc. Co.
of Lawrence
vs.
Kames Drug Co.
of Kansas City
SEE FORMER K.U. STARS IN ACTION AGAINST K.C.
TOP FLIGHT TALENT
Admission 50c (Adults)
Kiddies 25c
Lawrence Surplus Winter Specials
$\textcircled{1}$ BLANKETS ---$2.95 up
O.D. Values
COMFORTERS ___$2.95
surplus bargain
FLIGHT COVERALLS
All Wool Gabardine
$7.95
© HIGH TOP SHOES $5.95
GI Surplus Specials
$\textcircled{8}$ HEAVY MITTENS $2.95 Sheep Lined
❖ FLIGHT BOOTS ---$5.95 sheep lined
- T-SHIRTS ___69c
Navy Surplus
© LONG HANDLED
Underwear __$1.98 up
$ \textcircled{2} $ BOOT SOX ___49c up
Foot Warmers
This Is Bargain Month At
Come In & Look Around
Lawrence Surplus
740
911 Mass.
588
Phone 669
Read the University Daily Kanson—Patronize Its Advertisers.
For a true youthful silhouette
HI-A BRAS
By Marza
Cleverly modeled broadcloths in three cup sizes
$2.50 and
$3.50
Artcraft Nylon Hosiery
51 Gauge - 15 Denier
$1.95 — $2.50
The Palace 843 Massachusetts