JNE 4,1947
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE. KANSAS
PAGE SEVEN
Glamour Girls Fail To 'Glam' In Early Morning Gleam
Sorority girls go through a complete metamorphosis, but why must we houseboys be the only ones who watch pupate?
When I see them dragging down to breakfast, I ask myself that question a million and one times. And the answer keeps coming back, "You need the food and the money." And I pray quietly and fervently that my rich Uncle Luke will die soon.
When I first slipped into my white jacket and laid the clean towel across my arm I was absolutely ignorant of serving etiquette, of coping with so much femininity, of meringuing the swinging doors beneath the kitchen dining room. (My Uncle Luke could sure have helped me then.)
Soon I was expert. I appreciated being outnumbered by the fairer sex. I'd learned to wink back at the kittenish, brown-eyed pledge. I knew how to give the pledge captain that devil-may-dare look. And I had a mask of stiff impartiality for both with the coming and going of the housemother.
Oh. What A Morning
Let me tell you about sororis metamorphosis.
Who talked me into slinging hash for some of these dream-girls and the hill? Who said that all I'd have to do was slip 'em their tea and tuna salads? Who promised me that I would bask amid their sweet, timid smiles? Here's The Inside Story
Within the week, I'd made all those dastardly breeches of etiquette—like dropping silverware during the benedictory song, and letting a soup spoon slip down the neck of a sun-back dress.
The thought of serving breakfast electrified me. I saw them tripping down in lacy pink, blue and white nighties. And they looked as fresh and all-American as those girls sleeping on the Beauty-Rest mattresses in the Monkey Ward catalog.
So I pushed against those swinging doors with that Willy the Wolf look which the cook was still mistaking for an eager beaver grin. It was "horrific." It was Guadalal all over again. I saw them hipstickless and powderless, covered with cold cream and zinc glued on to their glowed through red, swollen eyes at the black coffee. They wore pajamas, striped ones, polka dot ones, and even some made out of camouflage material, or baggy, tea rose, Jersey night gowns.
If they'd just pin up their hair! Why do they use rags to tie it into knots? Why do they wrap it around fat metal curlers? I see rows and rows of cue-ball heads. But at noon the girls come down fresh, gay, wiggley, and giggle. They chatter insanely about classes, quizzes, and men. I eavesdrop to their trittlings and memorize the ten phyla of animals for the biology quiz.
Dinner-Time Glamour
At dinner, the sisters are at the end of the metamorphosis. They are glamorous, demure creatures with little time for me. Each one is absorbed in Culbertson's wee words on a two-no bid, the man for tonight, or in dangling her cigarette like the blase girl in the Chen Yu ad. They are lady-like, talkative, and in the mood for singing.
Now that singing is a thorn in my side. Of course I appreciate the harmony. But I stand on one foot and wait. As I watch them sing those sweet tunes, I see them glow with the smoldering passion of a great lover.
Then they chant their drinking songs. I don't know why. It's still milk every day. And their faces are masked with dissipation. Now my other foot's tired, and I wait some more.
Popular Album
"Park Avenue 'Hillybill'" —Dorthey Shov
I hear the chairs scraping and all of us waiters dash to the dining room and clear off the dishes. I look at my watch and groan.
But I'm hardened to this world now. I wouldn't be surprised if I'd marry another "Anyface." I wouldn't be startled if my bride was "Lena the Hyena."
WRIGHT'S For Records It's 846 Mass.
The Spooner-Thayer museum of art is showing a group of Chinese jades as its masterpiece of the month of June. One bowl is made of white jade with a peculiar cloudlike texture. Another piece is a jui scepter of black jade which was carried by the emperor on state occasions.
But may no man plunge into the mysteries of marriage without knowing about the metamorphosis of glamour.
Two minerals, jadeite and nephrite, called jade, are found most abundantly in Turkestan and upper Burma. China obtains its jade, which is found in a wide range of colors, in Burma.
Chinese Jades Are Shown At Museum
Chinese artists cut the stone by sawing it with steel wire on a bamboo bow. It takes many hours to work to cut and polish the hard stone.
Civil Service Has Tests For 48 Jobs
Examinations for 48 different kinds of jobs are being offered by the Kansas Joint Merit System council. Positions are open with state, county, and city governments.
Among jobs available are public health nurse, director of public health statistics, veterinarian, statistian, chemist, industrial hygiene engineer, and sanitary engineer. A number of supervisory, secretarial, and office management positions also are open.
Complete information may be obtained from state and county departments of social welfare; state county, and city boards of health, offices of the Kansas Employment Security division and the Kansas State Employment Service; and Crippled Children Commission.
Official Bulletin
June 4.1947
Sigma Tau initiates please pick up shingles at Mr. Stockton's office in 212 of Mechanical Engineering Lab.
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Christian Science organization regular meeting at 7:30 p.m. Thursday in Danforth Chapel.
Former Student To Return
From Job In Germany Soon
Col. J. S. Niles, a student in 1915, will return to Camp Campbell, Ky. this month. He has been deputy director of the transport division of the office of military governmen for Germany.
Colonel Niles attended the University during 1914-1915 and was outstanding in sports.
While in Germany, he supervised the repair and maintenance of Germany's rail, water, and highway transportation facilities.
Aerial Pictures of Your Campus
10 x 12—Ready for framing Black and White on Serie
or Sedia
75 cents at
Rowland's or Keeler Bookstores
FROM
"where students go"
1401 Ohio
1237 Oread
Adveritisers Prefer The Kansan To Reach Hill Students
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Porch chair to match above $5.95
Porch rocker to match above $6.95
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Our Hats Go Off To You Class Of'47
Congratulations to the future builders of America!
We've enjoyed your presence in Lawrence in the recent past and sincerely wish you the very best of luck in the coming years.
Morgan - Mack
Motor Company
Your Friendly Ford Dealer 609 Mass. Phone 277