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UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
MARCH 14,1947
Yeh,But Do You Hear Senators Caliper Apple Pies,Othman Asks
BY FREDERICK C. OTHMA
United Press Staff Correspondent
Washington—(UP) -Too much hoopla about budgets, Russians, taxes, atoms, and economy here lately has obscured some other important developments in the capital.
I mean have you heard about senators measuring slabs of apple pie with calipers? Or congressmen refusing to eat in their private dining room de luxe because of lonesomeness? Or the bird slaughtering mystery? Or the big writing-paper scandal? I thought not.
Let's consider first the congressmen who believed they needed a handsome restaurant, where they could stoke the inner man without contacting constituents, or lobbyists. The capitol architect, gave it to 'een. He produced the works for the lawmakers; soft lights, churchlike silence, tables with black marble toes.
He staffed same with waiters, who have been waiting in vain for customers ever since. My favorite congressman explains. Says the place gives a fellow the creeps.
As for the bird mystery, all I know is that it's against the law to shoot wildlife within the city limits. So we've got two million (more or less) starlings infesting the Grecian porticos of Pennsylvania avenue.
A starling is a small brown bird with a tenor voice and a determined expression. Multiply him by a couple of million and you've got a nuisance. The district commissioners, who must brave the birds each time they leave their offices, have asked congress to pass a law allowing them to murder starlings.
The mystery concerns the method.
The commissioners won't say whether they intend to try a small atom bomb, or massed shotguns.
The writing paper scandals also involve congress. In the basement of the old house office building is a store where congressmen and their helippers may buy on tick, or otherwise, their office supplies. Each representative gets $750 a session for his stationery.
The rumors have it that some congressmen in the past were suchbum correspondents they needed no stationery; they merely neglected to answer their mail. They made deals, according to the reports, whereby they got cash instead of writing paper. So the auditors are auditing, the store is closed, and names probably will be named later.
The senatorial pie crisis involves charges by government clerks that they must pay 15 cents for a slice of apple in the non-profit government cafeterias, when they can buy the same chunk of pie in an ordinary, capitalistic restaurant for a dime.
Not so, the federal restaurant operator retired. Its pieces of pie are bigger. Show us, said the senate civil service committee. The 15 cent slices and 10 cent slices have grown soggy under investigation, but the senatorial pie measurers expect shortly to rinse their callipers and announce their decision.
St. Louis Minister To Speak To Wesley
Dr. Amos Thornhurst, minister of the Grace Methodist church of St. Louis, Mo., will be guest speaker at the March convocation of Wesley Foundation at 6:35 p.m., Sunday at the First Methodist church. He will speak on "Our Changing Religion."
Dr. Thornburg will come to Lawrence from the annual state Methodist student conference, where he is main speaker this week-end.
The Foundation's fellowship supper will be served at 5:30 p.m. Helen Maclean and Jack Hollingsworth will lead worship services.
University Daily Kansan
Mail subscription: $3 a semester, $4.50 a year, in Lawrence and $1 a semester postage. Published in Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the school year except Saturdays and Sundays, University holiday. Send resume to Post Office, Second floor, September 17, 1910, at the Post Office at Lawrence, Kan., under act of March 3, 1879.
Official Bulletin
March 14,1947
Kansas board will meet at 4 p.m. Monday in 102 Journalism building
Jewish student union card party tonight. Contact Halperin, phone 86, or Bradlow, 205, for further details.
Independent Women's Senate will meet at 7:30 p.m. Monday in the Pine room of the Union building. * * *
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SENIOR CLASS GIFT SUGGESTIONS may be turned in to Elaine Wells, phone 295, or Scott Harvey, 534, for consideration at the next senior class meeting.
The student court will meet at 7:15 p.m. Tuesday in Green hall to hear cases concerning alleged traffic violations. The court will hear only cases previously reported to the clerk or prosecutor. The following students are requested to appear: Charles L. Roberts, Betty Sauder, Daniel Schungel, Carroll Seib, Jerry Simmons, Howard F. Smith, John S. Smith, Wm. Snuffin, James Stevens, Jack Stewart, Jeanette Terrell, James Topping, Boyd Touhey, George Waugh, Haworth White, John F. Williams, Lynn Witt, Martha Yingling, Harold Ziesch.
Sunflower chapter of K.U. Dames will have a St. Patrick's Day party in the clubroom at 7 p.m. tomorrow. Every woman attending is requested to bring a boxed dessert for two. Parents urged to attend and leave children at nursery which will be open.
Any woman desiring consideration for 1947 JAYHAWKER beauty queen must submit a photograph of herself to the Jayhawker office no later than Wednesday, March 19 Each picture must have a slip attached giving entry's full name, classification, school, and telephone number.
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Distribution of the third issue of the Jayhawker magazine will be made to subscribers at the Union book store from 8 to 5 on March 19, 20, and 21. Subscribers who do not pick up magazines on scheduled dates cannot be assured of receiving them.
A committee has been appointed by naval reserve officers of the University and Lawrence to investigate forming a special Naval Reserve Officers unit here.
Navy Reserve Unit May Be Formed Here
If the unit is formed, it will be the second of this type in the country, and will be modeled after the first which is at the University of Wisconsin.
The committee was selected at a meeting of reserve officers who are interested in forming the unit.
The organization will conduct courses of interest to and necessary for naval officers. These courses will afford the reservist a means of promotion while still on a reserve status.
Those on the committee are Richard Treese, ast. director of housing; Otho Raskussen, mathematics instructor, and Garvin Hale, College senior.
Physicist Will Speak Monday
The Magnetron As a High Frequency Generator will be discussed by F. E. Hammer, assistant instructor in physics, before a physics colloquium at 5 p.m. Monday, in 203 Blake.
Phone KU-25 with your news
FINE
SERVICE
GREAT
CARS
SQUARE
DEAL
A. 1.1
1. a) $a = -2$
b) $a = 3$
c) $a = -4$
d) $a = 5$
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