YAM
MAY 13, 1946
1946
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
1. (    )
PAGESEVEN
WHY WE SAY
400
by STAN J COLLINS & L J SLAWSON
This expression can be associated with the pirates of the Spanish Main who were so heavily armed they carried the extra knife between their teeth.
What We Need, Says Bankhead Is A Good 10-Cent Handkerchief
FREDERICK C. OTHMAN
(United Press Staff Correspondent)
Washington. (UP)—Let us join Sen. John H. Bankhead of Alabama today in contemplating the pitiful case of J. P. Kellogg, who discovered when he started to sneeze in Memphis, Tenn., that he'd forgotten his handkerchief.
Kellogg is one of the leading cotton planters at Hughes, Ark. He'd dropped over to Memphis to sell his crop at 27 cents a pound. He was strolling down Beale street when $^{\textcircled{9}}$
the sneezed came upon, him. He reached in his pocket. No handkerchief. He ducked into a dry goods store. He bought a bandkerchief. Just him $1.
Sneezes, as you know, are peculiar things. Best cure is a shock. Kellogg was shocked, all right. He filled his new, unsneezed inanderkerchief to Senator Bankhead. The senator, as it happened, had a couple of OPA experts on his blue carpet, trying to bludgeon from them a simple explanation of their cotton pricing policies:
He whipped out Kellogg's handkerchief. Senators Theodore G. Bilboe of Miss, George D. Aiken of Vt, and Clyde R. Hoey of N.C., examined it carefully. So, did Goeffrey Baker and Gardner Ackley of the OPA.
"You will note that it is a good ten-cent handkerchief." Sen. Bank-head said. "It might even be a two-factor-a-quarter handkerchief. You also will note that it carries an OPA ceiling price tar of $1."
Senator Bankhead read aloud the letter which accompanied it. Planter Kellogg reported that he had placed his new handkerchief on the scales and that it weighed, including the price tag, half an ounce. This indictment was made $32 of handkerchiefs could be made from 27 cents worth of his cotton.
Planter Kellogg said he did not think this was right. "This OPA is kneeling the farmer over the head," he said. "The farmer's share of the $1 handkerchief is less than one cent. It seems to me that a group of incompetents up there in Washington is playing to the grand stand." Senator Bankhead stowed the handkerchief in his pocket for further reference. He asked the OPA kindly to explain it.
Ackley looked at Baker. Baker said he couldn't explain it. He said somebody seemed to have made a mistake. He said the Chamber of Horrors exhibit, wherein the National Association of Drygoodsmen displayed a room of cottongoods with cockeyed price tags, also showed some mistakes. He said the senators should not pick out the mistakes, but should look at what he called the broad, general picture of IPA's accomplishments.
Ackley, an earnest young man with gestures, obliged with a statement about escalator clauses, mean
averages, sample polls, wage-price relationships, time lags, world supply, speculative markets and other items which, I regret to say, meant little to me or the senator.
"I still don't understand it." Senator Bankhead said. "Can't you put it in words so a farmer can understand it?"
Ackley said he'd he'd. He did try.
So did Baker. Senator Bankhead was unimpressed. I'd tell you more, but I left. I had to go shopping for a handkerchief. It only cost 50 cents, or $16 per pound, but I still think Planter Kellogg's got an argument.
CIO Out to Get Million Members In Southern States
Director Van A. Bittner of the CIO southern organizing committee, speaking at an organization rally, said "we are going to organize all unorganized southern workers into the CIO to bring genuine collective bargaining that will in turn bring higher wages and higher living standards."
Atlanta. (UP) — CIO officials, launching their $1,000,000 southern organizing drive, said today the campaign was "economic, not political" and their only goal was to organize "at least a million southern workers as soon as we can."
He said "The only thing wrong with Bilbo is the type of medicine the voters feed him. They're his doctor. If the majority of citizens in Mississippi belonged to the CIO, Bilbo would be one of the greatest labor crusaders in the senate, because he'd be fed a different kind of medicine."
Bittner said the CIO was "not out to beat Senator Bilbo of Mississippi, or any other candidate."
The veteran labor leader praised Gov. Ellis Arnall of Georgia and said Georgia voters rendered a "great service to humanity" in electing him.
Bittner said "If we organize the workers, they'll solve their own political problems."
Beta's Lead Men In Intramurals
Beta Theta Fi leads the men's intramural scoring so-far this season by a 50-point margin. The Beta victory in the swimming meet pulled them far ahead of their closest competitor.
Phi Gamma Delta is second in standing with 487 points and Phi Gamma Delta is 14 points behind with a total of 473 points. The points range all the way from 75, Alpha Phi Alpha, to the 537 points accumulated by the Beta organization.
It will be possible for winning organizations to pick up an additional 150 points in the present soft-ball tournament and also in the golf and tennis tournaments which are being played at this time.
The standings for competing teams now stands as:
Beta Theta Pi 537.85
Phi Delta Theta 487.48
Phi Gamma Delta 473.15
Sigma Alpha Epsilon 447.85
Sigma Chi 434.81
Phi Kappa Psi 419.31
Sigma Nu 371.46
Kappa Sigma 363.70
Delta Tau Delta 315.19
Tau Kappa Epsilon 303.64
V-12 260.28
Battenfeld 224.99
Alpha Tau Omega 188.37
Delta Upsilon 179.51
Nu Sigma Nu 171.87
Carruth 139.28
Kappa Alpha Psi 136.60
Alpha Phi Alpha 75
Washington. (UP) — The house appropriations committee today slashed $13,470,915 from budget bureau recommendations for reclamation bureau projects in the Missouri river basin during 1947, allowing only $10,312,685.
WANT ADS
FOR SALE—Royal standard type-
writer. Call noon to 4 p.m. Beals.
1334 Ohio. -14-
Term papers or theses to be typed?
A cc u racy, neatness guaranteed.
Rates reasonable. Call 1351-M-17-
GUARANTEED RADIO SERVICE -
New radios now on hand $25.95 and
$26.95. We pick up and deliver. Bea-mon's Radio Service 1200 New York.
Phone 140. -16-
LOST—Black leather wallet with snap flap. Name inside. If found call 503, contains important papers. Reward
HUDSON'S RENT-A-CAR SERVICE 1536 Tenn. Phone 1431. -15-
LOST—Fraternity pin. ATO-shape of maltese cross: 1436 Tenn. 2281R.
-15.
LOST—Black Waterman's pen. Eugene Casement, Battenfeld, phone 234. -15-
LOST — Ronson cigarette lighter about 4:30 in the Library Thursday afternoon, sentimental value. Reward and no questions asked if returned. Return to the Kansan office. -15-
LOST—Phi Gamma Delta fraternity pen with the name, Randolph Moore, engraved on back side. Finder call 443. Reward. -15-
LOST—Blue Waterman pen probably between Frank. Strong and Union in Fowler Grove about noon Monday. Reward. Leave at Kansan office. -10-
LOST—A blue notebook in vicinity of Union. Had "St. Thomas" printed across front, and contained some psychology notes without which I probably flunk exam Wednesday. So please return to Daily Kansan office. -14-
LOST—A large envelope containing some music and miscellaneous papers. Finder please leave at Kansas office or call Warren Shaw at 1796-M. -10-
LOST—A green Sheafer pen somewhere between Green and Fraser. If found please return to Eva Humphrey. Phone 955. -10-
STOP at the Courthouse Lunch for good food. Open from 5:30 a.m. to 12:30 a.m. Across from the courthouse.
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