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UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
JANUARY 24.1940
University DAILY KANSAN
Student Newspaper of the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
Member of the Kansas Press Association, National Editorial Association, and the National Advertising Association represented by the National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Ave., New York City.
Mail subscription: $3 a semester, $4.50 a year, plus 2% tax in (Lawrence add) a a semester postage). Published in Lawndale, NJ, and at school year except Saturdays and Sundays. University holidays, and examination periods. Entered as second class until Sept. 17, 1910, at the Post Office at Kalamazoo, Kan., under act of March 3, 1879.
DOLORS SULZMAN  Editor-in-Chief
ELEANOR ALRIGHT  Managing Editor
NANCY TOMLISSON  Business Manager
BETTY BEACH  Advertising Manager
Once upon a time there was an Uncle who had two nieces. One of them married Labor and the other wed Management. After a time he went to his niece who had married Labor and inquired how she was and how all things went with her. She said she was prospering but not satisfied. Her husband wanted an increase in wages so that they could live more comfortably and that she would not be happy until his wish was fulfilled.
Divided Love
He then went to visit the niece who had married Management, and likewise inquired how she fared. Her reply was that she wanted for nothing, but that her husband was in difficulty and that she would not be completely happy until his problems had been solved. Management didn't want to pay more money to his employees who were striking for an increase in pay, because he believed their wages to be fair.
The Uncle was at a loss to know what to do. If one of his nieces wanted wages to be increased and the other did not, with which of them would he join his wishes?
At last he decided to settle the disagreement by establishing a fact-finding board to investigate the situation. It failed and the poor Uncle is still confused—M.M.G.
Nocturne in Catsup
(Editor's note): Following is the way a student at Creighton (Nebr.) university feels about modern art.)
Take a bottle of catup, put the branch of a palm tree in it, place the whole thing in a long room, call it "Fifth Nocturne" and you're one of those perplexing individuals. You're a surrealist.
People have been striving for something new ever since someone said, "There's nothing new under the sun." Surrealism isn't. Junior was doing it long before Dali.
Surrealism and modern art are synonymous. They both don't make any sense.
It doesn't take much, some paints,
canvas, and your finger. Pour the paint on the canvas, let the cat walk
through it twice, add the finishing touches with your fingers. And there you have it . . . modern art and dirty hands.
The people who frequent the art galleries, gazing intently at straight lines and curlicues in frames, expensive frames, too, call it modern art. They look as if they knew the meaning of an arm dripping blood over a double banana split. They shake their heads and whisper that it is—really is so real-real.
Mahatma Gandhi gets included in various kinds of scandal. The latest comes from a student at North Carolina university who claims that Gandhi left college because all the girls were after his pin.
Abashed at the habits of college women, an old boy reconciled himself by observing that a man can still take a chew without feeling that he should first offer one to a lady.
A scissors grinder at Pittsburgh, Pa., saved up 175,000, proving that a man can succeed if he just keeps grinding away.
Rock Chalk
By MARILYN STEINERT
Bitter Lesson. O. J. Kaufman, SAF called Mary C. Daugherty, Chi O, to tell her he would be a little late for their date, forgetting to mention to her that Winnie Darkow would be late for his date with Pat Strang. After a long wait, the girls decided on some foul play. When the fellows came, Mary went down to meet her date and asked Winnie what he was dragging along for—for his date with Pat, of course. Mary made it plain that he hadn't designated which Saturday night so Pat had retired. To prove it she came down-stairs in a white nightgown and candle. Winnie winced and yelled, "Put on some decent clothes and get down here awake."
**Debut.** Bill Marshall, DTD, stepped into the limelight around the house modeling his unmentionable Christmas lingerie which he had received from the boys. "Take it off, take it off," chanted the Delt bretherm.
Them Bells. Instead of ringing the 6:20 bell twice to get fellow seamen up, some gob hit it four times which meant fire. Everyone was up and out on the double and not in uniform. Then about 7 o'clock, same morning, the gob sees a man coming up the path so he thinks he's an officer and rings the warning bell. The officer turned out to be the janitor.
Feminine anyway. A feminine caller buzzed up for Ralph Hedges one evening as Ralph was about to hit the sack. He dashed for some clothing and went to meet his fair visitor. The gorgeous gal walked in-Bob Bonebreak dressed in lady-like fashion.
Sucker in the crowd? Rusty Baltis and Ralph Edwards, Phi Delts, purchased a lemon in the shape of a car. The car was, shall we say, not quite the stable machine the boys had expected. They put it away in the garage, and as soon as it is able to stand on all fours it will be sold to the highest bidder.
Adjusted to it. An eight-man painting crew has been working on study rooms at Watkins and Miller halls. As they started on their thirtieth room and a scantily clad figure breezed down the hall, the foreman commented calmly. "After you work around places like this long enough, men, you just forget to be embarrassed."
OFFICIAL BULLETIN
University of Kansas Thursday, Jan. 24
The arithmetic test for College students who failed last fall will be given at 10:30 a.m. Saturday in room 219, Frank强学 hall.
College freshmen and sophomores should confer with their advisers today and tomorrow to plan their programs for next semester. Names and office hours of advisers are posted on the bulletin board opposite room 229, Frank Strong hall.
Quack club meeting, 7:30 tonight.
Names of all Baptist students who assisted with vacation church schools last summer are needed by the board of education of the Northern Baptist convention. Contact the Rev. Charles W. Thomas, phone 1429.
Alpha Phi Omega meeting, 7 to night, Pine room, Union.
The Bitter Bird offices, located on the lower floor of the Union building, will be open from 3:30 to 5 p.m. daily.
Zoology club meeting, room 206,
Snow. Dr. H. C. Tracy will speak
on "The Evolution of the Nervous
System."
***
Calendar No Help Here
Stapleton, Neb. UP) — Eugene D. Kremer missed both V-E and V-J Days. While serving on the USS Pickway, his ship crossed the International Date Line both times. However, the ship had two Easter Sundays, but missed a Fourth of July.
Now that we think of it, the reason we didn't wire our Congressman when Truman urged us to was the wire communications strike.
HUNSINGER MOTOR CO. Garage and Cab Co.
922 Mass.
Phone 12
Tonight's the Night
.
See Page 4
Dark make-up is out! Today, it's smart to look pink and pretty, not caked with heavy make-up. For the new, radiantly young look, use new Bonne Bell NITE AND DAY liquid make-up. Films your face so lightly, yet helps conceal fine lines, blemishes. Its oil base is non-drying to skin...NITE AND DAY MAKE-UP lets your loveliest you glow through!
7 heavenly shades: Camoe, Velvet Pink, Desert Sand, Evening Glo, Summertan, Tropico, Mexican.
Regular size $1; large size $2
(Plus 20% Federal Tax)
COSMETIC DEPT.
WANT ADS
LOST—Elgin wrist watch 17 jewel with a light leather strap. Please notify Fred Daneke 2041-PT 10.
ROOM-Clean, comfortable, close to campus. Freshman boy will share with junior or senior boy for $2 \frac{1}{2}$ hours tutoring daily. References exchanged. Call K.U. 69 or stop by the Daily Kansas office.
FOUND—An activity book. Owner may have some by identifying and paying for this ad at the Kansan office.
FOUND—Class ring. Owner may have same by identifying and claiming at Kansan office.
LOST—Brown striped Sheafer's pen between 1246 Oread and Frank Strong. Please call Bobbie Ford 898.
FOR SALE-Light weight tennis racket. Newly restrucing, first grade gut. Call 2892 after 5 o'clock.
LOST—Slide rule in brown leather case. Case No. 15. Rule No. 961131. Please call J. S. Nichols at 2041.
No names will be mentioned. Charles Marsh, 1408 Tenn, 443.
NOTICE—$50 reward to person returning wrist watch, ring and jacket taken from K.U. gymnasium locker room Monday night between 9 and 11 p.m. Wrist watch was rose gold Gruen with rose gold expansion bracelet. Much sentimental value attached to watch and ring.
FOR RENT—Rooms for Girls 1247
Ohio.
LOST -A most precious article great sentimental value—a Zippo flying suit, with numerous zippers on it. Lost recently near the KKG house. Big reward. No questions. Call Warren McKay, 2560.
FOUND—A pair of glasses. Owne may have same by identifying and paying for this ad at the Kansas office or cal K.U. 66.
Call K.U. 25 with your news.
For That Coke Date
Remember
ELDRIDGE PHARMACY
Phone 999 701 Mass.
VICKERS GIFT SHOP
Gifts of All Kinds
1023 Mass. Phone 933
LAWRENCE OPTICAL CO.
1025 Mass.
911 Mass. St.
Phone 425
Students' Jewelry Store 41 Years
IT'S A CUTE SHOE!
2. 98
It's good from every angle, and absolutely new ... in brown with a boot heel and a trick buckle! See it! Buy it! Love it! Wear it. Be so glad to have it!