TWO UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS TUESDAY, JANUARY 2, 1945 THE KANSAN COMMENTS Students' Goals Can Make 1945 Brighter Year In keeping with the long practiced New Year's tradition, many of us are forming idealistic resolutions which we hope will produce better grades and more efficient living habits—all designed to unfold a bright and happy new year. With this thought in mind, it is fitting to take a look at the past, a practice we too often avoid. When contemplating the mistakes and unfortunate situations which we could have avoided last year, it is appalling to consider the progress many of us could have made had we been alert. Individual progress constitutes world progress which the present conflict is retarding by hundreds of years. For this reason, any personal achievements are beneficial to society, and should be encouraged to the fullest extent. Scientific inventions, research work, and other contributions to all fields of interest are the tasks of the future. The sooner they are completed, the faster will be the progress of society. Too often many of us neglect to set up goals for the new year. Everyone should realize, however, that individual goals are the primary stimuli of human progress, whether they are easily attainable or require years of diligent work. Only by defining something which we hope to bring to actuality, can we efficiently accomplish anything. Resolutions are self-made promises to strive sincerely for beneficial goals. If each of us sets up one high goal and earnestly attempts to achieve it, much of the wasted time and energy and the avoidable mistakes of the past will not arise to prevent the potential progress of the new year—J.V. New Course Offered By Extension Division An extension course on war contract readjustment and settlement has been announced by Guy V. Keeler, assistant director of the extension division. The course which was requested by business men, accountants, and lawyers in the Kansas City area, will be given for war contract holders. The course will be given under the guidance of the School of Business, with Dean F. T. Stockton in charge, John Blocker, of the School of Business, will be the educational director. All enrollments and arrangements for the course will be handled by the extension division. The Contract Settlement Act of 1944 and the Joint Termination Regulations will be explained in the course by experienced men from industry and government work. The lecturers will be furnished by the training sub-committee of the joint termination coordination committee, the army air forces, army service forces, and the navy. Ten weekly sessions will cover the period from March 13 through May 15, and March through May 16. Because of the large enrollment anticipated, the course will be given in two sections. All sessions will be held at a centrally located place in Kansas City. Air Hostess Needed Miss Marie Miller, assistant adviser of women, announced today that information concerning air hostess positions is available in her office for those interested. She said that there is a large demand for women to fill these positions Rock Chalk Talk Our hearty congratulations to those who made it to Monday 8:30 classes. The snickering sympaties of fellow classmates were probably not appreciated, however, by those who made frantic dashes out of their classes yesterday morning. But what we don't understand is why did they have to leave class? Why did they look absolutely pea-green when they left? And they said such funny things, too. The Navy V-12's were their usual sweet selves, though but they were in at 10 p.m. However, so be it with our Navy. By ANNELLA HAMMETT *** Many tales circulated over the campus after the New Year's dance, and we're confused on two questions: 1. Who was the sailor with the black velvet bow in his hair who seemed to be having such a wonderful time? 2. Who was the civilian who came to the dance in a party of four, but who dropped the spirit of the yet-unborn New Year just as he came in the door? His date looked surprised, but he calmly retrieved and proceeded into the ballroom. 宗 单 来 During the holidays Lela O'Leary, Theta, had two of her wisdom teeth pulled. Her parents drove her here Saturday, but she forgot her books when she got out of the car in Lawrence. It could have been the loss of those wisdom teeth, but more likely, a bit of pre-New Year's celebration. Question of the week: Where did Jim Conard, Mike Nichols, Bud Eisenhower, and Ray Reed stay Saturday night? Barbara Barcroft, Chi O, rode from Ottawa in the car Sunday night sitting on the floor with her head on the seat. Was it really more comfortable that way? - * * The other night several couples were sitting in cars at the Dine-a-Mite waiting for some of the couples to leave so that they could go in and dance. Back-seat comments can be most interesting at times, but the following course of conversation aroused more than ordinary curiosity: Smokin', Swearin', Sex Reveal K.U. "Lily Whites" *** Have you participated in the following games of chance: pin ball machines, card games, dice games, matching coins, punch boards? *** Are you interested in the Sour Owl type of literature? Only one Errol Flynn has been discovered on the campus through this questionnaire. Don Alderson, rugged Carruth hall proctor, rated the score of 181 on the test, which is contrary to the opinion of other Carruth inmates. Have you ever looked at a girl with admiration for her physical characteristics? "Joe, take your arm from around my shoulders." Do you get intoxicated more than three times a month? Have you ever danced?—close? Did you enjoy it? Have you ever dated a single engaged, married, or fast girl? Any K.U. student is invited to take the test at any time, if he cares (or dares) to see himself as others see him. Are you a Lilv Whiter? (Time elapsed) "Joe, take your arm away from my waist." In order not to endanger the reputation of the Daily Kansan, we present forthwith only the milder of the questions asked on the quis. The boys of Carruth hall are at it again, finding new ways and means of saving themselves from boredom. They ask each other this question, "Are you a Lily-Whiter?" which is answered by a comprehensive quiz designed to determine one's moral character ala Lil' Abner. This scientifically-based (it says here) study, which was drawn up by self-acclaimed geniuses Calvin Bolze, Kenneth Miller, and Kenneth Reasons (all Summerfield Scholars), asks questions on eight renowned subjects: smoking, drinking, swearing, dancing, gambling, narcotics, religion (how did that get in here?), and sex. (More time) "Joe!" Points are scored against the individual taking the quiz for every question which he answers in the affirmative. If every question is answered "Yes" there is a final score of 1000. The mental wizards have set up the following scoring scale: 0-200—Lily-Whiter; 200-500—Gary Cooper; 500-750—B.M.O.C.; and 750-1000—Errord Flynn. OFFICIAL BULLETIN UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS Tuesday, Jan. 2, 1945 Notices due at News Room, Journalism Building, at 10 a.m. on day of publication. Anyone wishing to do practice teaching in the Spring Term should make application now at the office of the Dean of the School of Education—J. W. Twente, dean. -72 There will be a regular meeting of the All Student Council at 7:00 Tuesday in the Pine room. Tau Sigma will meet at 7:15 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 2, in the women's gym for a dance meeting. Members should wear shorts or leotards. Jack Button, Secy. -68 Marion Miller, president. There will be an organization meeting of the Chemistry club in the Officers club at 4:30 Wednesday. All who are interested are invited to attend.-Bob Campbell, acting secy. Le Cerule francais se reunira mercredi le trois janvier a trois heures et demie dans la salle 113 Frank Strong. Tous ceux qui s'interessent au français sont invites.-Clyde E Jacobs, Secretaire. — BUY U.S. WAR BONDS — 'Phenortens' Take Over Medics at Cincinnati U. The Army Air Corps can have its gremlins--but the medical students at the University of Cincinnati are concentrating on phentens. "Phenortens" asserts their proud discoverer, A/S Bob McLelland, U. S. N. R. freshman at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine, "supersede gremlins—they're the ultimate." All medical students and several nurses at General hospital in Cincinnati know that there are an infinite number of varieties, all looking over something so as to reveal only the head, eyes, nose, and fingers—the principal anatomical features of the phenortens. Evidently the medical students at the University are not yet acquainted with these famed characters but they're bound to meet up with them sooner or later. These strange little figures first made their appearance at the Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago, when Discoverer McLelland was studying there. A fellow student was absent-mindedly doodling when McLelland looked over his shoulder and, with true scientific perception, realized that the first phenonten had been discovered. He triumphantly pronounced its name, and since that memorable night, the phenortens have so increased in numbers as to overrun many of the colleges and high schools of the United States McLelland not only introduced phenortens to the world in general, but to the College of Medicine in particular. He was standing at a dissection table when the instructor asked him a question which he was unable to answer, because, he said, University Daily Kansan Student Paper of THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS LAWRENCE, KANSAS EDITORIAL STAFF NEWS STAFF Editor-in-Chief Editorial Assoc. Editorial Manage. Managing Editor DOLORES SULZMAN Asst. Mgr. Editor MARYLOUISE ROWSEY News Editor KATI GORRILL Sports Editor JIM MOBY Society Editor BETTY, JO ANN Campus Editors RUTH TIPPIN, DIXIE GILLIAND, JEWENNINGS --- BUSINESS STAFF Business Manager ... LOIS ELAINE SCOTT Advertising Manager ... KELAIM SMITH Advertising Asst. ... JOHN PAUL HUSDON Advertising Asst. ANNA JENNEY TEUGUNG Member of Kansas Press Association and of National Editorial Association. Represented for national advertising by the Washington Post, 420 Madison Ave., New York City. Mail subscription rates, from Nov. 1 to Feb. 19, 1945, outside Lawrence. $1.85 plus tax and $7.00 postage. From Nov. 1 to July 1, outside Lawrence $3.50 plus $0.70 tax; outside Lawrence $1.25 plus $1.70 postage. Published in Lawrence, Kansas, every afternoon during the school year. Visited Sunday, January 2 University holidays and during summer periods. Entered as second class matter September 17, 1910, at the post office at Lawrence, Kansas, under act of March 3, 1879. VARSITY CLEANERS Phone 400 "Just down the Hill on 14th" "I haven't talked to a phenorten yet." Then and there the room was turned into a classroom for phorienology, with the founder of the science as chief lecturer, and soon all the medical students were discovering their own species, and consulting them. So rapidly has their fame spread, that the Medical School gremlins even managed to find their way into a question on one medical examination. Discoverer McLelland strongly recommends that all individuals ignorant of the enormous wealth of phenomen lore come over to the College of Medicine, where they can be seen in every corner and on every blackboard. "Because if you've never seen a phenonet," he insists, "you've never lived." X-ray Exams Are Available To Food Handlers Today The state board of health photofluorographic unit is set up at the hospital for x-ray of food handlers from the entire city. There is no charge for the service. X-ray examinations are available today at Watkins Memorial hospital from 1 to 9 p.m. to campus food handlers, employees, and students who missed their opportunity Dec. 20 and 21, Dr. Ralph I. Canuteson announced today. CLASSIFIED M. F. STOCK, M.D. Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat 646 Mass. Phone 302 CITY CAB 107 W. 7th Phone 3200 Prompt Cab Service LAWRENCE OPTICAL CO. 1025 Mass. Phone 425 CALL SIX-FIVE TAXI For rapid and efficient taxi service MONEY LOANED ON VALUABLES Unredeemed Guns, Clothing for Sale WOLFSON'S 743 Mass. Phone 67 CAMPUS HANGOUT Where? DE LUXE CAFE 711 Mass. FOR THAT COKE DATE Remember ELDRIDGE PHARMACY Phone 999 701 Mass. THE HEARTH Open for Reservations Only Call 1036