PAGE SIX
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 1943
The Editorial Page
Country Club of Kansas Gone; K. U. No Longer Is Any Form of Rose-Bed
Who says college life is a bed of roses? It may have been in bygone days, but with the accelerated program here at the University whatever remained of the famous "Country Club" of the middlewest has died a violent death.
In the good old days of pale beer and alcohol there was time for a short respite and perhaps a little cramming between finals but today the final week is comparable to a six-day bicycle race shortened to three days to conform to the speeded-up system. Gone is the memorable Wednesday night of final week when the more boistrous students gathered to toast the end of finals, and the good spirit which guided them through the exams.
Gone are the three or four day recuperation periods between semesters when a student could catch his breath, secure a more firm footing, and look forward to the coming semester with a semblance of self-respect and confidence. Gone is that first day of vacation, that day of grace, before final week. Now the student, like a train pulling up an incline which precedes the long downhill run to the station, gives a last gasp as he passes the crest of the hill and rolls down to the station.
No sir, college is no bed of roses. Instead of whipping things into shape for final week as in years past, the student today whips both himself and his affairs into shape for three days of mental gymnastics which make commando tactics look like a spring dance by the old ladies sewing circle, local 59.
The old days are gone forever. Today there is no wine, no women, no song, no time, and no sleep for the college student.
300 Smith's Oppose Multifarious Use of Name
The Smiths have finally arisen in defense of the time-honored name. And it's about time.
For years, the name of Smith, steeped in the tradition of centuries, has been multifariously used for all types of flighty fiction. Good solid American families have winced at the exploitation of their name, but nothing, it seemed, could be done about it.
Now, however, a courageous group of 300 Smiths in a large American city have formed a daring organization which they call (pronounced in one breath) The National Society for the Discouragement of the Use of the Name Smith for Hypothetical Illustration.
The society, whose slogan is "When you think of Smith, say John Doe," will meet much opposition, particularly among college professors and authors of textbooks on high school English. After dinner speakers, moreover, will not be too sympathetic to the cause.
We should like to see the Smiths all over the country unite in this glorious fight to bring an end to the maltreatment of their moniker. They might hold an annual convention, possibly in Smith Center, Kans., where they could nobly defend their right to individuality.
Any success made by the venturesome NSDUNSHI will probably be followed by the formation of a similar organization among the Jones families, who have just as strong a case
Just Wondering
Whether or not the army reserves actually are going to be called as soon as stated.
--as the Smiths. Civil war between the two groups must, of course, be prevented.
It is to be hoped, also, that the Smiths do not try to secee from the Union. Such an occurrence might be embarrassing, since many foreigners have been told that John Smith is the average American.
What won't they think of next! God Bless America.
We notice that Kathryn Gregory, the WAAC who was discharged for dancing AWOL in a Des Moines night club, has landed a job in the chorus line of a Hollywood night spot. Next, some film producer will discover her and cast her as a typical WAAC.
A recent treasury bulletin states that the government is starting a broad and expansive financial policy. The average tired taxpayer can tell by his depleted pocketbook that the government is definitely expansive.
A store in Topeka, capital of the Sunflower state, recently advertised toaster sunflower seeds from North Dakota.
While the boys "over there" are fighting and dying, too many over here are hoarding and lying.
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Student Paper of THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS Lawrence, Kansas
Publisher ... John Conard
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editor-in-chief ... Bob Coleman
Editorial Associates ... Dean Sims, Joy Miller,
                    Jim Gunn, Matt Heuertz
Feature Editor ... Betty Lou Perkins
NEWS STAFF
Feature Editor ... Betty Lou Perkins
Managing Editor ... Ralph E. Coldren
Sunday Editor ... Joy Miller
Wire Editor ... Virginia Tieman
Campus Editors ... Alan Houghton
Clara Lee Oxley, Milo Farneti
Sports Editor ... Milo Farneti
News Editor ... Florence Brown
Picture Editor ... James Gunn
Society Editor ... Phyllis Collier
BUSINESS STAFF
Business Manager ... Oliver Hughes
Advertising Manager ... John Pope
Advertising Assistant ... Charles Taylor, Jr.
Aw, shucks: In the madhouse of enrollment, strange things happened and strange situations stared at startled students. One boy got himself enrolled in swimming and was nearly through before they found out he was enrolled in a girls' swimming class.
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You pays your money and you takes your choice: John Ise, professor of economics, told his Public Finance class yesterday that he could do two things to understand better the government's taxing policy. He could either stand on his head or drink a quart of brandy.
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Caught in the same trap twice: Howell Hill and "Shorty" Harlan, Carruth hall, were attending the Jayhawker theater Monday evening when the plate started to be passed for Allied War Relief. In the middle of the passing they decided to change their seats. A little after they had got settled Howell let out a scream of anguish: "Yipe! Here" comes that plate again."
Confoozin' but amoozin': It is a rare thing nowadays for anyone at Battenfeld hall to receive a letter correctly addressed. Latest addition to the list is a letter sent to Butterfield hall. In the past, mail has come addressed: Bottlefield hall, Battenfield hall, Batansed hall. One boy receives correspondence from his draft board in care of Batanfield. A local woman's shop once mailed an advertising circular to Mrs. Battenfeld Hall. The boys' biggest laugh came when a letter arrived from a certain company guaranteeing, for a sum, the John Battenfeld Hall coat of arms.
Perhaps the mustache cup is coming back: As a special feature of the Abe Lincoln varsity to be held in the Memorial Union building Feb. 5, the male students planning to attend are being urged to grow beards, or at least let their whiskers grow. The varsity is free and refreshments will be served. It is rumored that a prize will be offered for the longest beard. It will seem like a return to the frontier days, the days when men were men and had beards to prove it, and women were women and had children to prove it.
What an opportunity for blackmail: Betty Lou Perkins, Chi Omega, was discussing a news story with Danny Bachmann, Sigma Chi (who has been noticed much in her company recently) the other evening. She hung up, and a few minutes later the phone rang. Beverly Bohan answered and heard a man's voice ask for Betsy Dodge (Kappa). "No, Danny," she answered, "This is the Chi Omega house."
"Oh, my God," the voice gasped. "If you tell Betty Lou, I'll kill you."
WE KNOW---
HOW
To recondition your car and keep it from aging prematurely . . .
especially now.
WHEN
Your present automobile must last for the duration of the war.
REMEMBER---- Care Saves Wear!
Drive in — To
Fritz Co.
CITIES SERVICE PRODUCTS