SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1942
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
PAGE FIVE
JAPS BEWARE
In Guadalcanal Zone
Zilch at War
In preparation for the most elaborate banquet known to civilized Kansas, every worldly effort is being made by the local journalism department to locate the famed god-father of modern journalism, Elmer A. Zilch, local department graduate in '82, in time for the annual Zilch Day dinner on December 22.
Zilch, although fairly well a the world's events as his friends see them and tell him about them. It is believed by eminent authorities that Zilch is at this moment somewhere in the vicinity of Guadalcanal. He was recently reported in Tokio by the Aggravated Press association, at which time he stated that he thought he would run over to "Guad." This was taken as a sign that he would go to the Guadalcanal fighting zone.
While in Tokyo, the Aggravated Press reports, Zilch was given the death penalty for giving Emperor Hirohito a hot-foot during a game of gin-rummy. Zilch was disguised (ingeniously) as a bar-maid. He, however, escaped to the second front in Africa where he gained quite a reputation as being able to Roman-ride two tanks at once. "Glue-feet" Zilch, the doughboys called him—and they loved him like a brother.
Kansan Dragnet In Operation
All available Kansan reporters and news and editorial officials worked far into the night yesterday trying to locate Mr. Zilch. Portable telegraph, radio and television sets were erected and signals were flung to the far corners of the earth until daybreak.
The frantic messages were picked up and acknowledged twice during the night. The first was acknowledged by a sentinel of the Gooch cannibals in South Africa and the second was caught by a band of Boy Scouts out on an all-night bender somewhere in the hills of Arkansas. Both parties were personally acquainted with Zilch and forwarded the messages into more inner regions.
The only resemblance to a reply to the desperate signals through the night came at 4:53 this morning; a tom-tom, somewhere in the far distance, rolled out (in morse code) the word "Burp."
Elisha Rummage Museum
Zilch Dynamites Museum
This may or may not have been one of the practical jokes of the great man Zilch. While on the Hill he was known not only for his brilliant literary masterpieces but for his very humorous practical jokes
as well. It is printed in the dusty annals of the University that young Elmer, in the spirit of fun, once dynamited the school museum because it "smelled like a fish market." When reprimanded for his explosive act, Elmer (like the little man he had the reputation of being) dug down into his left shoe and tossed a wad of bills on the Chancellor's desk—encough for five new museums.
Listening posts in the "shack" are manned day and night in hope that a readable message will come through from the beloved Zileh.
CVC Organizes For University Blackout
Cooperating with George W. Bradshaw, chairman of civilian defense in Lawrence, the Co-ed Volunteer Corps is establishing air raid wardens in organized houses containing university students. The wardens will meet with Mr. Bradshaw for instructions at 7:45 pm. Tuesday in the Pine room of the Memorial Union building.
During the blackout on Dec. 14, each warden will be responsible for his house. All lights must be turned off or adequate protection provided at the windows.
One duty of an air raid warden is to establish a refugee room in case of an air raid, preferably the basement. During a raid the warden patrols the building to inform occupants what to do. They should know how to extinguish incendiary bombs and act as fire wardens because during an air raid, the fire department is not available.
CVC members will meet as a marching unit at 4:30 p.m. Tuesday. Pictures of the corps will be taken by Allen Crafton, professor of speech, to use in his motion picture, "K.U. in the War."
Lt. Jean Sellers is asking for volunteers to help at the University health service during rush hours. The rush periods usually fall at the beginning and end of each semester.
Closing of the WPA which was directed by order of President Roosevelt Friday, might possibly affect the University according to Raymond Nichols, Executive Secretary of the University.
WPA Close May Halt Building
It means that construction of the University may be halted. However, the work has been practically at a standstill for some time because of the scarcity of men available to work on the project.
The Military Science building, started in March, 1941, is approximately 75 per cent completed. Between 15 and 20 persons are working on the project now. All of them live in Leavenworth and have to be transported to work every day. Workmen are now laying stone on the walls of the top floor of the structure.
Steps have already been taken by University officials to attempt to have the status of the project changed so federal funds would be available to complete the project by contract.
President Roosevelt's order will probably also affect the Kansas Geological Survey office at the University.
Gustafson
Dr. Treese Corrects Story Printed in Friday's Kansan
911 Mass. St. Students Jewelry Store for 39 Years.
the "COLLEGE JEWELER"
Dr. E. L. Treese, associate professor of bacteriology, was misquoted by the Kansan in Friday's paper. A statement reported made by Dr. Treece to his students should have read that one of the possible threats for future epidemics was malaria, which has invaded the south, and Rocky Mountain spotted fever, a few cases of which already have broken out in Missouri, and not as "the greatest threats for future epidemics were cholera, which has broken out in Missouri."
Dr. L. N. Liebermann, instructor in the physics department, will speak on "Strange Phenomena in a Wave-Mechanical Univers," at the mathematics club at 4 p.m. Tuesday. The meeting will be held in Room 217, Frank Strong hall.
Dr. Liebermann to Speak To Math Club Tuesday
Dr. Liebermann, who received his doctor of philosophy degree from the University of Chicago, recently delivered a paper based on molecular structure before the American Physical Society. He has been instructor in the University since 1941, and has been studying quantum mechanics.
ADDITIONAL SOCIETY---dinner guests Friday were Barbara Montaldo and Jean Gillie, both of Joplin, Mo.; and Lucile Gillie.
(continued from page three)
JAYHAWK CO - OP . . .
Leon Closc, Wichita, is a week-end guest.
MILLER HALL . . .
dinner guests Friday were Alex-
ander Roth and Max I. Miller.
ALPHA DELTA PI . . .
ALPHA DELTA PI . . .
Bevery Ashcraft, Kansas City
Mo., was a house guest this week.
WATKINS HALL . . .
WATKINS HALL . . .
Cathrina Fruin was a house
guest last week.
WESTMINSTER HALL . . .
Dorothy Crockatt is spending the weekend at her home in Yates Center.
DELTA UPSILON . . .
KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA . . .
Lawrence Alumnae sponsored the USO dance last night in the Community building. Kappa's sang sorority songs and led singing for a 15 minute song fest during the evening.
Wanda Carter and Dorthea Dunn,
both of Wichita, are weekend guests.
Conga and TB Stamps Are Dance Features
Bolivar Marquez, College freshman from Panama, and Penny Ashcraft, College freshman, will present the dance. At the present time, the ISA still plans to sell tuberculosis stamps from the tables during the dance. Allan Cromley, College junior, will be in charge of the sales.
An exhibition of the Conga will be the feature of the ISA dance to be given Thursday night from 7 to 8 o'clock in the Kansas room of the Memorial Union building, Mary Fitzpatrick, college senior, announced today.
"Twenty five cents will be the charge for non-members, but they must come with an ISA member, otherwise they will not be admitted," said Mary Fitzpatrick, member of ISA council.
Education in Vichy is taking a new slant. Students are being placed in four categories according to their physique, with mental qualifications a side issue.
NOTES
of wisdom
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