TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1942
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
PAGE FIVE
Pity the Poor Japs ★★★ ★★★ Phys Ed Textbook
BY PAUL BROWNLEE
"You don't need brute strength. With your bare hands you can beat the man who wants to kill you."
These reassuring words adorn the cover of that epic of modern warfare—that scintillating scoop of Superman—the story that will end all stories, mainly because there will be no human beings left on this sphere to tell their stories after following the principles outlined in this book, the Bible of the Commando, "Get Tough," by Major W. E. Fairbairn.
But wait! The worst is yet to come Our own University commandos have adopted it as their text. After having glimpsed the unholy decreative conglomeration of practical homicidal methods, clammy convulsions shake the body of this reporter as he thinks of future physical conditioning classes.
What If I Slip?
I think of the swell fellow that always pairs off with me in the 10:30 commando class. What if I slip? What could I tell his parents? The last paragraph in the Preface to "Get Tough" sears my mind.
"I should like in conclusion to give a word of warning. Almost everyone of these methods applied vigorously and without restraint will result, if not in the death, then certainly in the maiming of your opponent."
This ghastly portrayal of sudden death has eight divisions. Yes, there are eight different classified sections as to how you can send to greener pastures or to hotter hunting grounds enemies who did not see
you remember
ing but could not think of an equally
unorthodox way in which to pro-
long their own lives.
of AM, Kives
Blows Of All Kinds
The first division is devoted to blows. Low blows, high blows, behind-the-back blows, or any other type of blow imaginable that instantly has your opponent saying Uncle if he is able to say anything.
Then come releases, holds, throws, miscellaneous advice (how to kill, bury, and mark the grave in five
This blow is "delivered with a bent arm (never with a straight arm), using a chopping action from the elbow, with the weight of the body behind it."
Explanation is sufficient in this saga of the guerilla. For instance there is the edge-of-the-hand blow.
minutes), use of the knife, the hatchet, and disarming an opponent of his pistol.
A Likely Fracture
"Note: If your opponent catches hold of you, strike his wrist or forearm, a fracture will most likely result."
And there is the Broncho Kick. "First, your opponent must be lying on the ground (there are numerous ways mentioned to get him there). Now take a flying jump at your opponent, drawing your feet up by bending your knees, at the same time keeping your feet close together. Then, when your feet are approximately eight inches above your opponent's body, shoot your legs out straight, driving both of your boots into his body and smash him."
"Note: Cou should practice this kick on a dummy figure or on the grass."
"Note: This is almost certain to kill him if you hit his body." Practice With Dummy
After much manipulation of the torso and arms you should bring your opponent down and smash him on your right knee (it is very important that it be your right and not your left) and break his spine. This is the backbreak in case you had not surmised as much already.
Pity the poor Japs and their gentle jiu jitsu.
K-Club Will Have Hay Ride
The K-club, will hold a hay rack ride and a wiener roast for members and their dates Nov. 7, it was announced today by Paul Turner, president of the club.
Turner requests that all members who wish to attend sign up for it in the Athletic office.
FOR HOMECOMING
We're at Your Service to Prepare Your Clothes for That Big Weekend. Don't Wait 'Till the End of the Week — Let Us Call for Them Now.
As Tuesday games have been postponed this week to Wednesday, the kids will meet Pi Kappa Alpha tomorrow, and, according to past play, should have comparative little trouble.
Medic Team Meets Psi's Tomorrow
Defeating the Phi Gam's in their last fray 6-0, the Medic Whiz Kids are speedily rising to the top of the heap in intramural football along with the Phi Fsi's and the Beta's.
When the Hopkins "Hoppers" take the field against the Rock Chalk Co-op in their 6-man game tomorrow, Phil "Scooper" Dynan and "Ace" Tommy Manion will act as co-captains in place of Maurice Baringer who is in the hospital suffering from a bad eye. The Hopkins men again will rely upon their short pass plays, the acting captains pointed out.
(continued to page seven)
Other Wednesday games are between Thata Tau and Pflugerville on field 2, Sigma Ph Epsilon and Phi Kappa Psi on field 3, Delta Chi and
A rejuvenated Jayhawk squad yesterday afternoon ran through a practice session at Memorial Stadium with more enthusiasm than had been displayed previously all season.
Gene Roberts Shows Good Practice Form
The Kansas coaches were pleased with the confidence gained by their charges in the Aggie game, but were quick to warn that the Nebraska squad this year is the typical tough, topnotch Cornhusker outfit.
Roberts was going great guns in practice scrimmages last night, and his fancy running was the highlight of the afternoon. The fast halfback may be ready to add his brokenfield running ability to the Jayhawk offense by Saturday afternoon. Roberts did not even make the trip last week to Manhattan, as coach Gwinn Henry left him behind so that the injured leg would receive plenty of rest.
Still another silver lining appeared in the cloudy Jayhawk football picture, as Gene Roberts, sophomore flash, for the first time this year showed definite signs of improvement from his leg injury which has kept him on the bench all season.
Gene Sherwood, however, was on the injury list, and will be a doubtful starter Saturday. Sherwood has been holding down the regular fullback position.
Cold K.O.'s Dean Swarthout
Dean D. M. Swarthout of the School of Fine Arts has been confined to his home this week with a cold. In his absence David T. Lawson, graduate student in the School of Fine Arts, is directing the A Capella Choir.
CORNHUSKERS—
(continued from page four)
Glenn Presnell, one of the Biffer's more capable assistants. So far there has been no complaint upon the manner in which the likable Presnell has handled the Huskers this fall.
DALE BRADLEY
MARVIN THOMPSON
The Nebraska squad operates from a "T-flavored" single wing-back, giving plenty of emphasis to the tremendous speed of its half-backs. So far this fall, the Lincoln squad has won two games and lost three, its triumphs being over Big Six foes and its losses to Big Ten opponents.
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