SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 1942
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS
PAGE THREE
Kansan
Prescribes: What To Do For Finals
By FOREST HASHBARGER
By FOREST HASHBARGER There has been much printed and broadcast about what to do when the bombers come, what to do when the fifth column comes, and what to do when the draft comes. A more immediate danger is rapidly approaching, and perhaps it is time now to give some advice on what to do when the finals come. Every semester the faculty forces start a campaign to spread the doctrines of culture and education, culminating in a major offensive, which period has come to be known as "Final Week."
Herewith is some free advice on how to conduct your counter-attack for final week, which you may take for what you wish. This is probably about what you expect, but, after all, what do you expect for nothing? What to do when the finals come:
1. If you are one of the genius type (or try to be), go around telling
everyone that you have never had to study for a final, as if you considered anyone who studies for them a moron. Go on. Be one. Make people hate you. When they find out you spend all your spare time studying, they'll LOVE you.
2. If you are one of the hypocrite genus, you can lose friends and alienate people by insisting that you can't possibly pass your finals, and then, afterwards, telling everyone how wonderfully you did.
more fun than the grinds.
3. If you come somewhere near the description of an average student, are honest, and admit that unless you study like hell for your exam you will certainly be bounced out on your dainty ear, you are facing facts. There is only one course to follow: Start going out every night and leave your studying to be done between five and six o'clock in the morning. You may not live, but you will have
4. Speaking of the grinds, let us consider them. A typical grind has no room in his daily schedule for anything not concerned with acquiring a degree. As finals draw near, he starts to live more than ever like a monk, beginning to cut down on the time he wastes on eating. By the time finals start, he has cut out all meals, and begins to look like one of Bob Hope's descriptions of Skinnay Ennis. About this time, he begins to act as prescribed in section five (below).
5. When you do finally begin, after deciding that you haven't a snowball's chance in California.(or Florida) of passing any of your courses, here are a few tips which will assure you undying popularity.
First, set a large bear trap just inside your door (be sure to cover it with a dirty shirt, so no one will sus-
peet). If an intruder should get by this obstacle, have a ball bat handy (a piece of lead pipe will do, if priorities have caused a shortage of bats) so that you can beat them over the head. Once you have them down, don't neglect to kick their teeth in, preferably with heavy, hobnail boots. To make sure that they won't bother you again, accompany your attack with a vivid description of their ancestry. This method has worked very well in most instances. It works so well because, by the time the fellow gets out of the hospital, finals will be over. Usually, after you treat one this way, all others are scared away. This is fortunate, as then you will only have one charge of assault and battery to face.
6. If none of the above methods appeal to you, you can always try to carry on in your everyday way of
living, and act like a normal individual. You have no idea how difficult, how annoying to others, the latter course is, when everyone else is going "mad" over exams.
7. Here is the best solution of the problem: join the army or navy. This will not only save your neck from the bloody axe of probation, but will give you a chance to help preserve the freedom under which you have the privilege of going to college and subjecting yourself to the tortures of exams. Women will please disregard this, as reliable information indicates that females are being accepted for military service just vet.
Perhaps these suggestions will help you to relieve your pre-final worries. Remember, these are perilous times, and everyone must make sacrifices, and for Ucle Sam, and for Clayton, remember Pearl Harbor.
Random Harvest Hilton Spins War Yarn
Movie Styled
By CHARLES G. PEARSON
Random Harvest is an absorbing little story by a man who once wrote literature. It is the story of a man, injured in World War I, who tries to piece together the frayed threads of his memory.
The book gives the rather unsavory impression of having been created with an eye to adaptation for the movies. Mr. Hilton, who once was well on the road to literary fame in England, has since fallen prey to Hollywood. His two greatest books, Goodbye Mr. Chips, and Lost Horizon, have been unequalled by anything he has done since his arrival in the Gilded City.
Charles Ranier, the hero of Random Harvest, suffered shell shock and a crushed leg in the war. Loss of memory resulted and for several years he wandered about, trying to remember who he was and where he belonged. At length he fell in with a theatrical troupe which was showing in a performance known as "Salute the Flag." One of the female performers had helped him escape detection after he had wandered out of an asylum during the Armistice jubilation. He followed the troupe for some time, until one night, when doubling for an indisposed performer, he bungled the lines horribly. He pulled up stakes and left the company.
The girl followed him and they were later married. They lived at the home of a kind-hearted clergyman, and Charles took up writing.
Sidelights are his struggle with the family finances, and ultimate success, which enabled them to continue their useless existence, but which did not in anyway clarify or brighten his own life. Fortunately for readers who lean to romance, he fell in love three times, twice with the same woman, and once with a woman who reminded him of the first. The story ended happily, but foggily.
He went to Liverpool one day to see his publisher, slipped and fell on the wet pavement, and the shock was sufficient to restore his memory. Unfortunately, the period immediately preceding his fall was now blacked out. One by one, events and occurrences serve to throw light on happenings from his past, and it is the unravelling of his memory that is the interesting phase of the story.
A mystery that shall remain forever undisclosed was why, in God's name, his wife refused to inform him of her true identity and bring an end to his years of groping. Perhaps she enjoyed seeing him suffer with the wifely sadism which sometimes prevails. At any rate, to this obtuse reader, the ending was obscure and unsatisfactory, leaving entirely too many questions unanswered.
Fiction, to be worthwhile, must be told in a manner that includes the reader in its action. Random Harvest is told with cinematic detachment, and that may account for its lack of effectiveness. You will have to do better than this, Mr. Hilton.
Peabody To Give Faculty Recital
Irene Peabody, associate professor of voice, will appear in a School of Fine Arts recital in Frank Strong auditorium at 8 o'clock to tomorrow night. Winifred Hill, senior in the School of Fine Arts, will accompany the mezzo-soprano in the recital.
The program follows:
"Lungi Dal Caro Bene" (arranged by A. L), "Nel Cor Piu Non Mi Sento" (Paisiello), Recitative and Air from "Orfeo", "Ah, Twine No Blossoms" (Gliere), "The Snow-drop" (Gretchaninoff), "Revery" (Arensky), "Deep Hidden In My Heart" (Arensky), "In The Silence
(Grieg), "Solveig's Song" (Grieg),
"I Love Thee" (Grieg).
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of Night” (Rachmaninoff), “Nur, Wer Die Sehnsucht Kennt” (Tschakowsky), “Hopak” (Moussorgsky), “Serenade” (Rangstron), “Vingar I Natten” (Rangstron), “The Dove and The Lily” (Swedish folk song arranged by Burleigh), “My Love, She Was So Pure” (Grieg), “To Springtime My Song I Uttor” (Grieg), “Margaret's Cradle Song”
"My Lover Is a Fisherman" (Lily Strickland), "Under the Greenwood Tree" (Buzzi-Peecia), "Do Not Go My Love" (Richard Hageman), and "Ah, Thou Beloved One" (Mischa Levitki).
The recital is open to the public without charge.
Phone 383
LOOK YOUR BEST in spite of the weather
Lovek "Ann Miller, dancing star, is featured with Penny Singleton and Glenn Ford in Columbia's new musical, "Go West Young Lady," now at the Granda for 3 days. Charlie Rugles and Allen Jenkins are others in the cast. Frank R. Strayer directed the comedy and Robert Sparks produced for Columbia. Co-feature, "Moon Over Her Shoulder," starring Lynn Bari, John Sutton and Dan Dailey, Jr.