PAGE TWO
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. LAWRENCE. KANSAS
TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 1939
Kansan Comment
King George May Think:
Kansas Is a Funny Place
Scribbled comments on the morning mail:
A correspondent, whose name will be with held for reasons (not obvious) has worked himself into quite a frenzy over Kansas' participation in the New York World's Fair. The legislature, according to this authority, won't even mail Grover Whalen a state flag, much less dispatch a delegation or an exhibit for display purposes.
Our correspondent thinks maybe this isn't so terrible, especially if the flag were faded or the delegation representative. The object of his ire, on the contrary, is the fact that "although Kansas isn't planning to be represented, a group of Indian cavalrymen from Kansas, not representing the state, will be taken to represent the state." The writer explains this dilemma by postulating a probable conversation between King George VI and a World's Fair guide.
King George: What are those queer looking people over there?
Guide: They are Indians, your Majesty.
King George: Ah, our empire is well represented here. And why do they not bow to me?
Guide: Well, they ain't from India, your
Majesty. They brought 'um here from Kansas.
King George: It seems to me I've heard of the place. I say, isn't Kansas where blooming spirits are prohibited?
Guide: Some say they guzzle, some say they don't. All I know is that there's where they start all the cyclones. I ain't seen it in Winchell's column yet, but a guy in Malarkey's Pool ball claims they used to go round teerin' down speakeasies. I tink at was a couple a years ago, before the settlers got there.
King George! It jolly well shows what these foreign blighters will try to do. And giving the blooming savages guns! It is really an outrage, Now, take our Mr. Chamberlain—.
Guide: Hully Gee! He's already been taken, your Majesty. Tree times unless I forget. Now on your right here, your Highness, is the Georgia exhibit. Notice how strong it is bound. An' it's such a pretty cover. Dere gonna make it into a movie next year sometime. . . . . . . .
The Nazis Overlook Some Arguments
One of the major platforms of Nazi propaganda is that "America is rightfully German." Loyal Nazi believers whole-heartedly maintain that America does belong to Germany in view of the following arguments:
2. A German, Martin Waldseemuller,
first named it "America." in 1507.
1. From one-fourth to one-third of the population of America is of Germanic blood. Professor Karl Haushofer, the famous geopolitical theorist, put the number at 30,000 in his "Weltpolitik". Richard Nitschke, in his "Der Auslandsdeutschum", says 30 to 40 million. Another figure from a textbook insists that almost half of American population is of Germanic origin.
4. Martin Luther, a German, founded Protestantism and without him, they afirm. America would never have existed.
3. Another German, Charles V, was King of Spain shortly after Columbus returned from his fourth voyage. This, in Nazl law, gives Germans title to the Western continent.
5. The Anglo-Saxons gypped the Germans out of their proper place in the American sun by obliterating everything that the Germans did for their American fatherland.
The Nazis are amazing—not so much because these arguments, but also for all the other arguments they overlooked. Not once, for instance, did they mention that:
1. The "Star-Spangled Banner" was swiped from "Mein Kampf."
2. George III was a German who owned America.
3. George Washington was also a German. (Wasn't he known as Der Fuehrer of his country?)
4a. It was the Jews that cheated the Aryans out of America.
4b. It was the reds.
4c. It was the New York Yankees.
5. A Greek, who has a German cousin by his second marriage, first called it "The United Snakes of America." This undoubtedly makes it German, since it was probably the influence of the German cousin that made such a remark possible.
6. Hitler thinks America should be German.
But even if the Nazis do bring up these reasons and add them to the others, the average American doubts that he will fall for them. It takes something like the Irish sweepstakes or South American bonds to fool Mr. America Citizen.
Tax System Can Stand Revision
The federal tax system has long been regarded inadequate and unnecessarily muddled by many treasury and governmental officials. Now, with Secretary Morgenthau urging a revision of the system, in an attempt to replace this hodge-podge with a method approaching a systematized tax law, officials are in the bewildering and uncomfortable state of agreeing on what should be done, but fearing the political consequences of doing it.
Secretary Morgenthau's model tax idea is based on a careful survey and study of the situation. Professor Roqwall Magill of Columbia University spent over a year compiling his recommendations. His successor, John W. Hanes, continued his work, and has been urging the revision with little success up to the present time.
The new tax system contains three major changes. First, the tax base is broadened to include millions who do not now pay direct taxes. Rates in the productive middle bracket on incomes from $10,000 to $80,000 are increased. The highest surtaxes are decreased and the method of collection is simplified.
The second revision is the scrapping of corporate taxation schedules and all corporate taxes, save a graduated income tax, which is to give special preference to smaller businesses. The last step is the abundance of all nuisance and excise taxes and the replacement of them by the direct income tax conducted on a broader base.
Some of the most desirable changes are in the field of exemptions. Salaries of state employees certainly should be taxed, as the recent Supreme Court decision allows. The allowable deduction of $400 for children should be extended until the children are twenty-one, instead of only eighteen. For those who send their children to college, this time is the period of greatest expense.
Necessary tax revision should not be hindered by the fears of alienating politicians, Taxes, as they stand today in many cases, work directly against certain groups, and assist in the formation of strong political factions and machines that are undesirable in both their social and economic aspects.
Too long taxes have been tossed on here and added there with the result that taxes have become burdens. Revision of the taxation system may not lightened the burdens, but it will certainly throw the load upon those best able to stand it.
UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
OFFICIAL BULLETIN
Vol. 35, Tuesday, March 28, 1929 No. 122
Nottes day at Chancellor's Office at 11 a.m. on a Monday.
No. 122 at the Chancellor's Office at 11 a.m. on a Monday.
--classes a few years ago . . . . It happened something like this:
In front of his class—descriptive astronomy—poker faced Professor N. Storer waited for voices to quiet down as the class hour began.
Leisurely he turned the pages of a pamphlet “Horsecises: Your Future by the Stars”—the cover page read.
HATTIE ELIZABETH LEWIS PRIZE ESSAY: All contestants in the prize essay contest on applied Christianity must hand in tentative outlines of their essays at the Chancellor's office not later than Saturday, April 1. See notice on bulletin boards for information - Schoa alldiga, Chairman of Committee.
NOTICE TO ALL UNIVERSITY WOMEN: There will be a W.S.G.A. tea tomorrow in the English room at the Memorial Union building, Watkins hall girls will be the hostesses—Delos Woods.
TAU SGAIM: There will be a regular meeting of Trau
this evening at 730 in Robinson gymnasium —
Arlesen
SENIOR AND GRADUATE WOMEN: The University Women's Club will entertain the senior and graduate women of the University at a tea or Thursday dinner, Tuesday through Saturday building—Mrs. Fred Eldworth, Publicity Chairman.
TAU BET BI PI. Tau Beta PI meeting will be held at 7:30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 29, instead of Tuesday, March 28, as previously announced. All members must be present—Claude H. Burmese, President.
W.A.A.: The W.A.A. initiation meeting will be held
in the gymnasium on Thursday, instead of
8 p.m., as presen
**Editor-in-Chief**
Vincent Dauce, President
**John Mandellot Chair**
Vincent Dauce, Executive Director
**Mary Low Benjamin**
Mary Low Benjamin
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official Student Paper of
THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
IN MEMBERSHIP WITH AMAZONA
Publisher ... *... Harold Addington
Editorial Staff
Managing Editor ... Bill Fitzgregor
Campus Editors ... Sew Jones and Shirley Smith
New Editor ... Jeffrey Eisenberg
Night Editor ... Friends Coach
Telegram Editor ... Alex Macon
Takeaway Editor ... Harry Hill and Herman Brown
Sunday Editor ... Milard Rose
Spartan Editor ... Jon
Society Editor ... Polly Rose
Edwin Brown Orman Wanamake
Business Manager Advertising Manage
News Staff
Don't Worry About a Job; Americans Are Suckers
Feature Editor
By Dick K. La Ban. c'29
When astrologists can milk the American people for two billion dollars annually what college graduate should worry about working for a living? With 250 newspapers in the United States carrying daily columns on astronomy and nearly a dozen magazines devoted to the field what easier and more lucrative jobs are available for them to later while writing; "Uranas is in the seventh house from which he sends you the vibration that is fundamental to your life?"—and wait for the钱to roll in.
By Dick K. La Ban, c39
In two more months the University will turn out some several hundred graduates—and their chief worry: "Where can I ever find a job?"
And yet-the there is no cause for worry . . . not as long as the great American public can ream'live to spend its money . . . $" Americans are suckers" has long been a maxim on Bi'laowney and the stock market and now astrologists art*proving it by the stars.
At the University of Kansas, Ph.D.
Examiner N. Storer of the astronomy
department has long been a de-
bunker of the pseudo-science. "Good
common sense is behind the thought
in some astrology," says Prof. Storer.
"When a horoscope says 'Those born
in March . . . when subject to heart
palpitations . . .' should consult the
advice of a physician." That is
good advice for anybody born in
March or anywhere . . .
Subscription rates, in advance, $3.00 per year, $1.75 per semester. Published at Lawrence, Kansas, daily during the weekend except Monday and Saturday. Enforced as second class matter only on Wednesdays. Offered at Lawrence, Kauai, under the Act of March 3, 1859.
Unemployment Impossible
In the realm of astrology unemployment is an impossibility. All the planets in the heavens have administrative jobs, which astrologists claim, they have been employed at since the beginning of time. When not too many years ago some upstart astronomers, scientific dabblers in the movements of the heavens, discuss their problems with astrologists were hard put to find jobs for the new members of the organization. Not even the New Deal could help them out in this task for the new planets, Uranus and Neptune, were each bigger than Mars, Mercury and Venus combined. But with characteristic diligence the astrologists pulled the proper strings and found jobs for the newcomers . . . and now their careers gave uplift and Nepheme averavision.
Further remarks about the subject brought to light a story that happened in one of Professor Store's
Astrology is a gold mine for as psychiatrist say: "It is a human falling... after no matter how widely the truth about" astrology is spread, some people will always believe in it because they suffer from a neurotic condition known as paranoid. . . . These are cases where people have been abused. The caps are copied that they are so important that even the stars take part in determining their fate."
Storer A Debunker
notes'n discords by John Randolph Tye
Harry Hill, new managing-editor if the Kansan, has no truck with virtualists. "They have seance in beir pants," says Hill.
"Much has been said about Astrology—and how they can tell about you—your future by the stars. Many people believe in it firmly—they say their horoscopes have told them things about themselves—exactly. Now as an astronomer—we don't deal with forecasts about people's futures—we talk about how the universe works.
Student voices dimmed—heads turned expectant faces toward Professor Storer who speaks:
"However this morning I have a horoscope for those born in April and May—by the way," he interrupted, "here were born in those months?"
The snow this morning saved us from a fate worse than death. Another day of spring and we were watching the children and got one of those Prussian haircuts.
Add similes: As surprised as a fine arts student when he gets flowers at his senior recital.
Many Firm Believers
" . . . and that is the character—and perhaps some of the future for those born in April and May . . . Now tell me how many of your friends have this house scope has analyzed correctly some of your characteristics?"
Ten in the class raise their hands.
"Fine! . . . Maybe we can find out
for ourselves if there REALLY is
something to these horseies . . .
Here's what it says: 'Your life has
always been happy . . . there have
been problems . . . You are generally
a very discriminating person.
The desire to travel is yours. . . "
His Class Believes
"Im-m-me...maybe there IS some thing to this Astrology." The class grinned collectively as he closed the pamphlet.
"Wait—I've made a horrible mistake," he said hastily, "this Horizons tells all about you if you were born—in December!"
Professor Storer reads on for minutes and then:
Reginald Buxen says he is so exploitative that he thinks a girl would rather go out and be bored by him who have a good time with someone else.
Again the same ten raise their hands.
"Cafe Society" would have been a much better movie if the cast had only learned how to pronounce cafe.
PALACE BARBER SHOP
Haircuts — 25c Haircuts and Shampoo — 50c
Ad definitions of college: A place where students first turn to see how "Little Alma" is getting ahead before going on to international news on the first page.
IN OUR BEAUTY SHOP
Shampoo and Finger Wave — 90
Permanents — $2.50 up
Machinemel Permanents — $5
Phone 282
--and we'll come for you.
A new kind of date.
Ride for 5 miles on beautiful
bridle paths.
Somehow this department is relieved that it hasn't been asked to write the history of it's high school graduating class. We are afraid it would be a task to choose the member who has succeeded the most We'd have to toss a coin to choose whether it was the little blonde who worked for our company or the summer resort last August, or the young man who robbed the home town bank singlehandedly of $4800 yesterday.
O
KANSAN CLASSIFIED ADS
Phone K. U. 66
Try Our Tasterite and Tenderloin Sandwiches
CRYSTAL
Sandwich Shop
Fountain and Curb Service
UNION CAB CO.
Phone 2-800
When Others Fail, Try Us
S
for
Hamburgers and Chili
9th. and Vermont
D R A K E S
for
B A K E S
When Others Fail. Try Us Baggage Handled - 24 Hrs. Service
WRIGHT and DITSON
Tennis Rackets
RACKETS Restrung
Hockey SHOP
1014 Mesh, St.
Phone 319
The current attraction at the Granada is "Oklahoma Kid!" with James Cagney. J. G. Sommers, this is one of my time due to this performance.
Jayhawk Barber Shop
Shaves  -10e
Haircuts  -20c
C. J. "Shorty Harpy Prop.
Prop."
Jayhawk Taxi Phone 65
We handle packages and baggage
The current show at the Dickinson theater stars Claire Trevor and John Wayne in "Stagecoach." Donna Soto will be on time during this performance.
Castile Shampoo and Set ... 35c
Revita Oil Shampoo and wave 50c
Revon Manicure ... 3 for $1.00
Seymour Beauty Shop
817 $ _{2} $ Mass. Phone 100
Tibbets Standard Service BRIDGE STATION
Open All Night
HORSES
FOR HIRE! Mort's Riding Academy 4 blocks West of West Campus Road Call 3201W
The current show at the Dickinson theater stars Claire Trevor and John Wayne in "Stagecoach." Hugh McGill, who plays Trey, only once any time during this performance.
THEISI BINDING
Party Favors - Job Printing
OCHSE PRINTING SHOP
10171% Mass  Phone 288
For Easter Candies. Perfume and Toilet Water
We Deliver
1101 Mass. Phone 678
RANKIN'S
The current attraction at the Granada is "Okahoma Kid" with James Capney. Matrice Still, this is your performance any time during this performance.
START QUICK
with Standard Red Crown Gasoline
Hartman Standard Service
13th and Mass.
Phone 40
TAXI
HUNSINGER'S
920-22 Mass.
Phone 12
Cinderella Beauty Shop
232½ Mass. Phone 567
Permanents ...$2.00 to $6.00
Shampoo and wave 35c and 50c
Marches 50c and 75c
Hair weaving service
Evening Appointments
Evening Appointments
IVA'S BEAUTY SHOP Phone 533 941% Mass. St.
UNIVERSITY CITY
More than 4,500 young men and women at the prime of life, receptive to thenewand different, associate and interact in hundreds of activities from dance to classroom—in a city within a city—on the hill.
They hold hundreds of thousands of dollars at their command to spend in Lawrence . . . BUT WISELY! A recent survey* shows that 93 per cent of men's clothing bought during 1938 was purchased in stores which advertise regularly in the Daily Kansas. The official publication of the University of Kansas is the only medium which reaches ALL students, every day, with a medium of time and expense to the advertiser.
Mr. Merchant, are you receiving your share of business from University City?
*Conducted by the division of Market Analysis of the School of Business.