PAGE TWO
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE. KANSAS
---
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8. 1939
Kansan Comment
Joe College' c'40, Flunks On Purpose
Have you heard the latest about Joe College? It isn't the first story to be told about that amiable young man, but it is by far the most pathetic. The other day Joe saw his name in the Kansan and after it the ominous symbol, "c40." Whereupon he rushed to the Deen's office and asked to be flunked in five hours so he might become Joe College. c'uncel.
For once the Dean's office didn't argue and Joe got his wish. As most students don't make a practice of flunking five hours—intentionally anyway—a reporter was sent to check up on Joe. This is what he discovered;
"So you want to know why I asked to be flunked; do you? Well, when I read in the Kansan that I was a member of the junior class, panic overwhelmed me. As fast as I could I got the Dean to fail me so I could get out of that class, the class of 1940 I mean. You see, I knew they were in financial difficulties because of unfortunate ventures into the dance managing field.
"First, you remember, there was Fletcher Henderson back in 1936. The class of '40, then freshmen, had beginners' luck and came out with a surplus, a success that stirred their greed for gold. So the next year, last winter, the ambitious men and women of '40 tried to throw a party with two dance bands, something even the Pi Phi's don't attempt. Well, the red ink literally washed the balance book out of the business office.
"Then last week as juniors they thought they'd pioneer the 'name band' vogue on the Hill. They hired Count Basie for the Prom and dressed up in formals and danced until two and then cussed 'too much swing' and praised 'the fine music'. But they lost $25. Well, sir, that's when I quit."
Joe College spoke so sincerely that the reporter came back convinced, even though he was an exponent of name bands. It is to be hoped, however, that the class of '40 have their class history written on the black side of the ledge at graduation time; otherwise the Dean may do a landoffice business.
Headline: "Bondit slays man for dollar in store holdup." Oh, well, in times like these every dollar counts.
God Save the King And the White House, Too
The King of England is sailing for the U. S.
May 6.
The queen is coming.
They will take a look at Canada
The Queen is coming, too.
They will go to the White House and get smiled upon by F.D.R.
The women journalists suggest that the royal couple be searched for concealed matches.
They don't trust Britishers around the White House with matches.
They remember what happened in 1819
The sovereigns were going to visit New York.
So they aren't going to New York.
But they were informed that a plan was under way to humiliate them in New York.
It will be a very limited tour.
They will probably make a limited United States tour.
Because they are afraid of being embarrassed.
England is a democracy.
The United States is a democracy.
But if the royal family expects Americans to get down on their hands and knees to greet it—
They had better stick to Canada.
But not royally in the aristocratic sense. Rather royally in the American fashion with American methods.
Maybe swing bands. Good food. Cheers Informality or awkward formality at best.
If they can't swallow our entertainment.
It's too bad.
The difference between a gun and a machine gun is that of a man and woman speaking.
Campus Opinion
EDITOR'S NOTE: The editors are not responsible for opinions or facts given in the letters published in this column. Letters more than 300 words are subject to curtailty and should be read through although the letter will be withheld if the writer desires.
W wasn't it a most benevolent concession by the white masters when they allowed the Negroes to listen in while one of their race was playing? They crowded these Negroes into rooms above the main ballroom so that they might stunt some more in their own hands, but they couldn't allow them enough not to allow the Negroes to dance, but like the Caissars of old, who threw slaves into the arena pit to massacre each other to a pulp for the delectation of
Editor Daily Kansas:
'Benevolent Concession'
the parasites, they too, the Hill society, with their dollars, doped Negroes into playing for them. It didn't matter how the Negro musicians felt when they looked at black heads leansing over through the windows.
This is streamlined slavery. We any to the Negro. "You are free but, ..." just like the Bentos and African Americans. This is a democracy under certain conditions." What are the conditions which instead of making the Negro free perpetuate a subdue slavery which under the present circumstances would be impossible to the Negro the very rights which we wouldn't deny to any self-respecting free individual—to have refreshments in the same place we do, and to dance in the same place we do, without being minded that even the law is more humane in this later case than the University—for it provides that if they are taught to dance in the black minded that even the law is more humane in this later case than the University—for it provides that if they are taught to dance in the black minded that even the law is more humane in this lat
But what do the University authorities do under such conditions—they try to hynotize themselves into believing that nothing is the matter. They're afraid to be taken seriously, because they're betraying their own consciences; they're beermishning their own religion; they're betraying their own sense of duty to the students, to the Gods of immanence.
I think that perhaps some of our "educators" should be reminded what the word education means. It means to teach others how to learn. There are irrational emotions into a sphere of immutable truth — or is that too much to be expected. Then, according to what you learn, we should
here they are now
SAUL J GROSBERG
We Learn What Our Practice Is
Edition. Daily Lesson
For some time we have wondered where the Kansan got its so-called editors. Now we know. We
Another question that's been solved for us during the past week is just what students in the department of journalism are taught. We've tossed and turned in ceaseless curiosity over a seeming paradox. Just why do students, beached on the rocky shores of business, have to learn about journalists and smooth sailing in the field of newspaper theory?
Editorials like last week's on the Indian birth rate give the answer. Journalism courses show students where to find news articles that can be camouflaged into editorial for next day's paper. Men and women don't learn how to create new dishes They learn to make a hash out of the roast that Mother cooked on Sunday.
Legislators, local ministers, and citizens in little Kansas town who pace across their living room floors, muttering anxious words over Kansan editorial policies, need not worry. The University Daily Kansan has one weekly column, every Friday. Property审慎 and sequestered, it urges a curb page two with nourishment for an entire week.
A SEASHORE CRAB.
Suggests Sororities Sing
Editor, Daily Kansas
Editor, Daily Kansan
Why doesn't this campus have an interiorsorium sine? The fraternities have one. And in other colleges the idea is prevalent. Besides obtaining experience and preparing to could get a good deal of pleasure out of doing this.
SORORITY SONCSTRESS.
UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS OFFICIAL BULLETIN
Notice due to Chancellor* Office at 11 a.m. date of publication and 11:10 a.m. date of publication
--speed passions' cbb,
or tie its flow.
To have, to hold, in time—let gof"
A. S.ME. The student chapter will meet Thursday March 9, at 8 p.m. in room 116, Marvin Hall. Mr. J M Johnson from the Kansas Electric Power Company will speak on "Industrial Safety." All those interested
COSMOPOLITAN CLUB: The Cosmopolitan Club will meet at 8 o'clock Saturday evening, March 11. At Mrs. Cole's club, 1253 Owens. There will be Spanish lessons, and a celebration of all races are welcome—Ruth Youmans, Secretary.
MATHEMATICS CLUB: The club will meet Thursday, March 9, at 430 in room 203, Frank Strong hall John Burger will speak on "Non-Elucidem Geometrics." Anyone interested is invited to attend. After the meeting, the club will adjourn to the cafeteria for dinner. There will be a charge thirty or thirty-five dollars. Please make your reservations in the Mathematics President, Wednesday—Dorothy Bublitz, President.
PHI SIGMA: The regular monthly meeting will be held at 7:30 this evening in room 260, Snow Hall. There will be a special Tint Color Pictures of European Gardens by Dr. M. Matsuki for the ment. All members and friends are urged to attend. After the program there will be a short meeting for the staff, officers and new members -Midred Pursell, Secretary.
NOTICE TO ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS. Dr. E. T. Gibson is at Warkins Memorial Hospital from 2 until 5 p.m. each Tuesday for consultation with students through the hospital office.-R. I. Canutespam
PLAMIDA THETA: There will be a business meeting Tuesday, March 4, at 4:30 in the Pine Room of the Office of the President.
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
STUDENTS CORRESPONDENTS COMMISSION:
I will be responsible for the curriculum at 4:30
Monday, March 13. Speakers on the program
will be Miss Maguire, C. H. Mullen, Fred
Willetts, and Harry Hill - Velma Wilson,
President.
Y.M.C.A.: All members will be expected to attend
the Henry J. Hankel-Idell Seddon forum program
thoughtfully, with a strong focus on the work of
the group.
Official Student Paper of
THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
LAWRENCE, KANSAS
Editor-in-Chief
Vincent Davis, Roderek Hook
John Rudbeck Tyler
Feature Editor
Managing Editor Bill Fitzgreave
Campus Editors Stew Jones and Shailley Smith
Editor Prentice Freeman
Night Editor Jim Robertson
Tilburg Editor Arnie Mamort
Tilburg Editor Harry Elliott and Helen Millard
Sunday Editor Millard
Saturday Editor Jebell Connany
Sunday Editor Polly Connany
Business Manager Eldin Ruiz Manager
Advertising Manager Orman Wannaker
Herold Addington
News Staff
"No, treat her as an equal," said Jayhawk number two. "Make her think she is on the same level with you, whether you think so or not."
National Advertising Service, Inc.
College Publishers Representative
202 MADISON AVENUE
CHICAGO - LOS ANGELES - SAN FRANCisco
"Ah, you're both wrong," Jayhawk number three confided. "You gotta make her think that you need her love and protection. Make her have sympathy for you, then she'll see your good points."
Amorous Experimenters Fail in Letter Lovemaking
This simple question, brought up casually by three K. U. studes more than a month ago, has resulted in what is probably the most mixed up screwery, slap-happy scientific data that has ever been assembled by any group of University students studying chemistry, claiming a snowman would bring down upon their heads the wrath of cometting solar scintillators.
What is the best way to court girl by mail?
And so the three decided to experiment with the potential romantic qualities of correspondence. Between semesters, each of the three was to "line up" some young miss—some stranger—and make her promise to answer his letters. All three succeeded, but it is with the subsequent trials of Jawyhawk number three that this story deals.
Number three reported that he had "lined up" n_Tri Sig freshman in one of the state teachers colleges and that in the next few weeks he would receive a scholarship with the shadow of a doubt that sympathy was the key to successful letter writing.
"I say be strong forward, confident," said Jayhawk number one when the puzzler was asked.
Subscriptions, in advance, $3.90 per year, $1.75 per sem-
tained. Published at Lawrence, Kansas, daily during the school eve
except Monday and Saturday; Entered as second class mnts
at Lawrence, March 3, 1879; Entered at Lawrence, Kansas,
and the Act of March 3, 1879.
Letter number one, by Jayhawk number three, attempted to gain the girl's confidence by referring to some mysterious gossip concerning the girl and how he didn't believe a word of it, in addition to the hint that he was quite taken with the girl's comeliness. The answer warned him against getting serious, advised him to forrest her.
'Ah, but science must be served and the little Tri Sig had provided a wonderful opening for a master tear-jerker. So letter number two was
notes'n discords
by John Randolph Tye
The last few days have proved that there is nothing to the rumor that Gandhi was giving up sleeping during lent.
Yesterday a junior asked us how to go about checking books out of the library. On inquiring we discovered that although this is his third year on the Hill, he had never taken one book from the library. So we went back home and found to ask how he ever wrote his term paper for Rhetoric two.
A contributor sends in this toast but neglected to say where it came from.
To take what fate the gods may give.
Ask no questions and make no prayer
Just kiss the lips and caress the hair.
"For this is wisdom, To love! to live!"
According to Walt Lucas, the time is past when people refer to wooden ships and iron men. Now it's wooden shoes and ironical women.
a dramatic. After the fashion of Pagliacci, Jayhawk number three
Even if you are one of those people who always got 100 in geography back in grade schools, you may find it a bit hard to write down on paper all the 48 states in 15 minutes. One student was so certain he could do it he put up money. In 3 minutes he had 47 states, but try as he could, to get the state. Just like the state. After he had put off the discovery he had omitted Kansas. Just another case of ad astra per aspera.
was laughing with tears in his eyes.
"I am a hard person to understand," wrote number three, "and too many people who tell that it isn't easy understanding me. I am always the girl's friend, but whenever I start to get serious I become suddenly a friend of the family, so to speak."
That would surely bring results, thought number three. He would show number one and number two. But days past and no answer came. Postcards were needed to bring an answer from the guinea pig. But at last, after he wrote a very insulting letter, purporting not to care whether he ever heard from her, a reply came as he knew it would.
Graduate Collects Mexican Birds
Alexander Wetmore, a University
graduate in 1912, assistant secretary
of the United States National museum
of the Smithsonian Institute,
reports to the alumni office that he is off to Mexico on an expedition to collect birds.
"I got your sickening letter," the girl said. (What? "I'm not sympathy going to work?" "I must say that I do answer." "We expect a girl to answer such truine."
Oh, so that's the way it is, though number three. Then came the light. If she didn't like such "sickening tripe" then he should apologize profusely for writing it, that should make her sorry for me. With a pen he carefully made notes in the margins of her letter, professing complete humility (in a dignified way) and thorough misgivings at having even thought of writing such stuff. Then he mailed it to her.
Miss Edna Marie Dunn, a fashion artist from Kunssa City, Mo., who was to talk before classes in the design department of the School of Fine Arts tomorrow, has postponed the date will be announced later.
Fashion Artist Postpones Talks
Graduate Collects Mexican Birds
Time passed as time does, and it became apparent that the Tri Sig was not going to bother with an answer. But Jawhayk number three was not to surrender so easily. He wrote a letter to a friend in this town and asked him to help out a bit. Would he please show the enclosed letter (which was on another sheet) to the girl and note her reactions? The enclosed letter was obviously a letter to this friend, who had introduced the girl to number three. In it was a well-written explanation of what he saw that day. His attempts at love-making van Fareley, "I wrote her an apologue," said the letter," but no doubt she does not believe it."
Surely such a master stroke as this would turn the trick if anything could. She would break under the pressure of her guilt and reply with her good wishes.
A few days ago the friend wrote to number three and exploded a bombshin in his face. The Tri Sig, he said, had been amused at the master stroke. Furthermore, she had been showing all of number three's letters to sundry friends and sorority sisters as her idea of a good joke.
Jayhawk number three met defeat with a smile. In fact, he met it with a laugh, getting quite a "boot" out of the way the Tri Sig had turned his back over to him. With numbers of his friends at home had enjoyed numerous chuckles over his letters.
After all, employing the sympathy technique, said letters were not originally meant for more than one pair of eyes.
Jayhawk number two has lost out completely with his experimentation subject. Which all must prove something like this: don't play on a girl's phone, don't even go so far as to treat her better than when writing letters.
Jayhawk number one is having
jawharw success with his case.
Which must show: women like to be
builded, look to feel that the boy
KANSAN CLASSIFIED ADS
Phone K.U. 66
He has just about decided that the best way to court a girl by mail is: Don't.
HAL'S
for
Hamburgers and Chili
9th, and Vermont
Jayhawk Taxi Phone 65
We handle packages and baggage
Mickey Rooney is the star of Mark Twain's "Huckleberry Finn", now showing at the Granda. Charles Dalrymple, this is your free pass.
WRIGHT and DITTOS
Tennis Rackets
Rackets Restrugn
RUTTER'S SHOP
1014 Mass. St. Phone 319
Mickey Rooney is the star of Mark Twain's "Huckleberry Finn", now showing at the Gramada theatre. Reggie Bubban this is your free pass.
Meet Your Friends Here
Number one is quite happy about the whole affair. His theory was justified. Number two isn't particularly annoyed one way or the other about his failure. But Number three doesn't bother, because double-cross which was handed him so neatly by the subject of his experiment.
Stadium Barber and Beauty Shop
is superior over other people, like to enjoy the protection which he seems to give her.
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James Stewart and Carole Lombard are the stars of "Made for Each Other", now playing at the Spectrum in Wayne, Huff, this is your free pass.
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Permanents ... $2.00 to $6.00
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Mercurs 50c and 75c
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Ammonia
Evening Appointments
Fraternities Sororities Send a Newsletter to Your Alumni!
Keep them informed of your progress and needs!
" - - - that's real copy,
and neat work the boys are
putting out ! "
Get it MIMEOGRAPHED at the
K. U. STENOGRAPHIC BUREAU
Room 9
Journalism Bldg.
Phone KU 66