our family UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE, KANSAS THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22. 1038 The Kansan Comments Stone Benches Are Nice To Sit On Two fine new benches have been erected in front of Watson Memorial library. Constructed of stone from old Snow Hall, supplemented with fine Indiana limestone to match the library facing, there will be seating room for perhaps sixteen students—during the few weeks each fall and spring when it is not too cold or too wet to sit on stone benches in the open. In addition to seating facilities, built-in glass enclosed, electrically lighted bulletin boards will contain notices of University activities—notices which will appear also in the hall in every building on the Campus, as well as in the bulletin board at the top of Fourteenth street. Designed by Herron and Herron, University architects, and constructed by the local building and grounds corps, the benches are of a type which would do credit to any university campus. They should be duly appreciated. They cost more than $3,000. The money for these beautiful campus ornaments—the they can be classed as little else—was bequeathed to the University for the purpose as a graduation gift from the class of 1931. The size of the sum raised by that class, which was graduated at the bottom of the depression, with little prospect of joys for most of its members, is indeed commendable. The purpose to which that sizeable sum was devoted is hardly as praise-worthy. Stone benches are nice things to have around. You can sit on them when you don't have anything else to do. Cigarette sticks won't hurt them. You can hide behind snowballs. You can meet Sadie Brown there after your 1:30 class. Stone benches are nice. So are scholarships. With $3,000 you could provice a year's schooling, with all expenses paid, for six siserving students. Divided into smaller sums, $3,000 would help to make it possible for a good many worthy boys and girls to get a higher education. The interest alone on $3,000 would provide a nice scholarship for at least one person each year. And think how $3,000 would bolster the sadly depleted Student Loan Fund! Yes, stone benches are nice. So are up-to-date books in the school library. You could buy a good many fine books for $2,000. Dyche Museum is nice too. At least they say it would be, if only enough money could be scraped together to fix it up, so we could see inside. Oh, there are 's lots of nice things—valuable, practical things for a university—which wouldn't cost any more than stone benches. All of which may seem like crying over spilled milk. The class of 1931 has gone on, leaving behind its last request and the money to see that the request is carried out. The plans were drawn up and the benches have been made. And that's that. But please remember, seniors, when the time for your class meeting rolls around next spring and proposals for the class gift are being entertained, that there are lots of nice things—valuable, practical things which the University of Kansas needs. And they wouldn't cost any more than a couple of stone benches. Status of U. S. In Case of War If the incidents in Central Europe precipitate a crisis that would set off the chatter of machine gun fire and start the droning of planes, announcing the premier and opening night of another World War theater, what would be the status of the United States as a neutral nation? Differing from the situation in 1914, the Neutrality Act, passed in 1937, would automatically go into effect, forbidding United States citizens to embark for Europe on a belligerant vessel, according to the Christian Science Monitor. For ninety days, however, the ban is raised for citizens returning from abroad. No doubt American foodstuffs, grains, and cotton would travel the same rout as in 1914 because of Great Britain's control of the seas which obviously implies that these necessary complements of war could not be obtained by the democracies' opponents. Furthermore, raw materials could be shipped to Canada and Mexico for transshipment. Nor does the Johnson Act, which forbids loans and credits, prevent establishment of branch factories for war supplies by American firms in Canada or other areas. But belligerent nations and those remiss in past debt payments would be unable to obtain loans and credits from the United States although the President is allowed to make exceptions.. Medical and relief funds and adjustments of debts already connected escape the ban. Other features of the Johnson Act forbid American vessels trading with belligerent nations to be armed, and Americana ports may be closed to subnarines and armed merchant vessels. The president is also permitted to require commodities that are shipped to belligerent nations be diverted of American ownership before being exported. Mutinions and the actual implements of war would be banned and at his discretion, the President can forbid other commodities than arms from shipment on American vessels and force purchases to be made on a "cash-carry" basis. Because of British control of world shipping, inevitably the United States would become the economic ally of the democratic powers. They Read The Daily Kansan The University Daily Kansan doesn't make a habit of boasting about its deeds, but it is with some pride that we reprint the following editorial from The Daily Tar Heel, the official newspaper of the University of North Carolina, in its campaign to establish free Wasserman tests, and incidentally one of the best college papers published in the South. "We are on the way to becoming the most syllabized country in the world," said Dr. Thomas Parran, chief of the United States PubHealth service not long ago . . . and . . . "We learn from a recent issue of the 'Reader's Digest' that one out of every ten persons in this country will be exposed to the disease during his lifetime. "Especially is this true in North Carolina and here at the University—over 30% of the negroes in Orange county between the ages of 15 and 45 have syphilis. "The national government is doing its part with a total appropriation of $15,000,000 for this and the next two years with which to fight venereal disease. This University gives Wasserman tests to all of itscolled employees. "But the University of Kansas gave FREE Wassermans to every student who wanted to take one last year. One thousand, seven hundred tests were taken; five unsuspected cases were found... How many are we harboring on this campus?" Campus Opinion Editor, Daily Kansan: Articles in this column do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the University Daily Kanan. Articles over 200 words in length are subject to cutting by the editor. Contributions on any subject are invited. I see by your paper that the opening all-University convocation tomorrow morning will be addressed again by a stuff—sh—I—mean, a member of the Board of Regents. Isn't there any other possible menu for the first all-school convalescence? Way back when I was a freshman, six years ago, I remember how eagerly and with what anticipation I crowded into the auditorium for my first convalescence! I thought of the High—which were usually pretty darned good—well, at least finely entertaining—if I do say so myself. And thought how much better these convalescents at such a great school as KU. must surely be. Then, we were addressed by this member of the Board of Regents. I never attended another convoction, and neither did about 97 per cent of the other freshmen. Yet I have heard from certain members of the three per cent whose courage remained undaunted that some of the following convocations during the year really aren't so awful after all. isn't there some reason why we should fresh off what's in store for them, and promise them better convoction fare at least until next September? Fed-up Official University Bulletin Vol. 36 Thursday, September 22, 1938 No. PROFICIENCY EXAMINATION: All juniors in the College of Liberal Arts are urged to register for the Proficiency Examination to be held on Saturday, Oct. 1, at 9:00 a.m. Registration is at the College Office, Room 121 Frank Strong Hall, Sept. 26-28. Only students who have registered will be admitted to the examination. University Daily Kansan JOHN VIRTUE, for the committee. Official Student Paper of THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS LAWRENCE, KANAS PUBLISHER ... MARVIN GOEREL News Staff Editorial Staff MANAGING EDITOR LOUIS R. FOCKELLE CAMPUS EDITORS DICK MARTIN and JEAN THOMAS RAIDER HARRIS SOCIETY EDITOR HELEN GIRL STOWS EDITOR LESTER KAPPELMAN MAKEUP EDITOR HARRY HILL MATTE EDITOR STEVANY JONES SUNDAY EDITOR ELON TORRENCE BUSINESS MANAGER EWIN BROWN ADVERTISING MANAGER ORMAN WAMANKER REPRESENTED FOR NATIONAL ADVERTISING BY National Advertising Services, Inc. College Publishers Representative CHICAGO UNIVERSITY, CHICAGO, IL ART & ARCHITECTURE ARGELLES, SAN FRANCisco Subscription rates, in advance, $3.00 per year, $7.50 per semester. Published at Lawrence, Kansas, daily, during the school year except Monday and Saturday. Entered as second class matter before the office at Lawrence, Kansas, under the Act of March 3, 1899. notes and discords by John Randolph Tye We had a good story concerning Hitler, Mussolini, and Roosevelt to start today's column, but after see-through photos of the papery papers, it doesn't seem so funny. "To evaluate properly the current European situation," comments the Coffeville Daily Journal, "we should study history." That is if one wants to really understand the situation. --playing at the Granada Theatre College humor as exemplified by the Chicago Tribute: "Ocwf Oscar for a fophomore at Northwestern thif iemferet. Yefterday he affli逊ised hif claffmates by fating that he had been presented with a new Packard for hif birthday. Infantly they fuggeftaking take a spin in honor of the occasion. "No, fir, 'finkered the occupation: 'No, fir,' finkered the come to teft it flaving your whikfers." Yes, we think so too. ... "As I grow older," asserts a cynical senior, looking every bit of his 20 years. "I am thankful for even the smallest mercies. I left my home town before Robert Taylor's latest was shown, and arrived in New York City here during the summer. And what is more," and here he fairly exulted, "I know of not one Nelson Eddy picture booked for the fall." "Fruit in Season," a new novel by A. Thorn, deserves comment but it's such a tough subject we're afraid to handle it. Instead of "Brittania rules the wames," England's new motto seems to be "A country a day keeps Herr Hitler away." Writes Helen Hemphill in the Clay Center Dispatch: "Isn't it a jolt when for some unknown reason you're thought all these years that Shakespeare was something next to Holy Writ itself, to find that he could write anything so delightfully ridiculous as 'Romeo and Juliet.'" When Helen finishes chuckling over "Romea and Juliet," she might try another funny story—"Hamlet"—by the same guy. It ought to keep Helen in stitches for e week. --playing at the Granada Theatre If the craze for swinging old nursery hyres continues, some ambitious band-leader might find a new way to win the Window" worth refurbishing. Oh, well, even Heywood Broun has his off days too. Blackburn's Orchestra Is Now 'Clyde's' The band familiarly known to Jay-hawkers as Red Blackburn's orchestra has been taken over by Clyde Smith, b'39. Smith, talented senior class president, took charge of the band shortly after it was learned that Blackburn would attend the University School of Medicine in Kansas City. Clyde and Louie Kuhn work together under the same management, being booked by Henry Miller under the name of the Unit Music Service. Clyde is fronting practically the same personnel under his own name as was fronted by Red last year, and has organized another band in Kansas City. Khn played at Fairland in Kansas City for five weeks then went to the Mayfair club in Tulsa. Clyde and Joel went up a band old at El Tivoli club in Dallas. According to Henry Miller, the bands are in better shape this year than at any other time on the hill. "Kuh has been given considerable publicity through 'Down Beat' and other trade papers." Miller said. Louie's band is entered in the Rhythm Rodeo at the Jubilesta in Kansas City. Blackburn will also be there with his Kansas City band representing the University of Kansas City. Cat Loses Courage, Excites Neighborhood Amarillo, Texas. — (U.P.)—Mrs. Maggie McCarley's cat, Spotty, had a proud reputation as the only cat on the block that wasn't afraid of a bulldog, but a wire-haired terrier wrecked Spotty's reputation and caused a minor crisis in the neighborhood. Spotty took flight before the terrier and ended up on top of a 45-foot utility pole. A few hours later, the cat's frightened calls brought him to the fire department, but there was no room to raise a ladder. At one end of a new press box on the University of Oregon is a special compartment for the Ducks' new mentor, Tex Oliver. Classified Ads Phone K.U. 66 Jayhawk Taxi Ve handle packages and baggage Phone 65 Cleaning and Dyeing Polishes and Laces Lesher's Shoe Shop We Call for and Deliver Phone 25 We Can For and Deliver 812 $ \frac{1}{2} $ Mass. Phone 250 Rose Ewell football games actually originated in 1901 when Stanford invited Michigan to play an inter-session game. Michigan won 49-0. WANTED We specialize in silk garments Student Laundry We specialize in silk garments Mending done Free we deliver Phone 1313 Keys for Any Lock Guns and door closers repaired Fishing tackle and Ammunition RUTTER'S SHOP 1014 Mass. St. Phone 319 Mickey Beauty Shop Shampoo and Waveset 25c Oil Shampoo. Wave Dryed 50c Permanents $1. $1.50 up 732% Mass. St. Phone 2353 Quality Cleaners TAXI HUNSINGER'S 920-22 Mass. Phone 12 Phone K.U. 66 Men's Suits and Women's Dresses 65c Free Pickup and Delivery 539 Indiana Phone 185 MERRILL ROLLER This is your free pass to see Spencer Tracy and Mickey Spencer Tracy and Mickey Rooney in "Boys' Town" now Iva's Beauty Shop Shampoo and Wave 35c Oil Shampoo and Wave 50c Shampoo and Wave 35c Oil Shampoo and Wave 50c Permanents and End Curls Specialty phone 533 941% Mass. St Our Specialty Large's Cafe Pork Tenderloin and Fish Sandwiches Free Shrimp Friday Evenings 18 E.9th Phone 2078 $ P E C I L A L ! ! ! Super Shell gasoline ... 15.9 c Silver Shell ... 14 c Shell Ethyl ... 18 c Slater Service Station 23rd and Louisiana St. ANNOUNCING A New Shop for You Girls Shampoo and Waveset 35c Oil Shampoo and Wave set 50c Seymour Beauty Shop 817½ Mass. Phone 100 MARIAN REED This is your free pass to see Sonja Henie and Richard Greene in "My Lucky Star" now showing at the Dick- inson Theatre. Skilled Personnel to give the right hair cut: Lou Harshfield Virgil Wiglesworth Mac McCarthy Harry Houk HOUK'S Barber Shop 924 Mass. St. boats (plain) (fur trim 25c extra) Suits 50c 3 Tuxedos for Dresses $1.25 OUR PRICES Grand Cleaners Girls! It's Different! It's New! A Modern Beauty Shop Just for you!! Shampoo - Fingerwave 50 - 75$ Permanents $3.50 $5.00 $7.50$ Free Pick Up and Delivery 14 E. 9th St. Phone 616 Jayhawk Beauty Shop 927 Mass. St. Phone 854 Permanents $2.00 and up Nu.Vogue Beauty Shop SPECIAL!!! Shampoo and Wave 35c Permanents $2.00 and up Nu-Vogue Beauty Shop 9271/2 Mass. Phone 458 UNION CAB CO. Phone 2-800 When Others Fail, Try Us Baggage Handled - 24 Hrs. Service THE LEADING THEATRE Shows 2:30-7-9 25c 'till 7 ENDS TONITE Rotes the Academy Award or the Best Picture of 1938 "SPENCER TRACY MICKEY ROONEY "BOYS TOWN" ALSO Pete Smith Sport Thrill Novelty Swing Bond Latest News Events with DIXIE DUNBAR WILLIAM LUNDIGAN CONSTANCE MOORE ERNEST TRUEX ALSO Sport Thrill, Largest News Pete Smith Novelty Oddity in Color It's a Jom Session of Breezy, Slangy, Airy, Carefree Comedy. Friday - Saturday --about Louie Kuhn and Clyde Smith's formerly Red Blackburns A Contest Picture A SMART CHORUS GIRLS KICKS HER WAY THROUGH COLLEGE Her Way Through College We Adivse You To Come Early For Attend the Matinee CLARK CARLE CLARK GABLE SUNDAY CLARK GABLE MYRNALOV Toys Them All In MYRNA LOY "Too Hot A CONTEST PICTURE To Handle" about Orchestras ... K. U's two exceptional SWING BANDS ... Presented by the UNIT MUSIC SERVICE Personal Representative, Henry Miller - In Lawrence Call 2368 - In Kansas City Call--- The Tom Drake Agency 801 Midland Bldg. Victor 6029 .