PAGE TWO
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. LAWRENCE. KANSAS
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1. 1930
$ \approx $ Comment ACTION!!
Arise ye rabble! Cast off the bonded chains which now encircle you, crushing all that is good and fine in you. Submit no longer to the bristish subjugation of the monster of capitalism.
Too long have you bowed your heads in meek apathy. Too long have you been treated as worms in the dust. Bite with the venom of an adder, the iron heel which is grinding out your lives. Strike and run for your lives, for your freedom.
You have been enchained too long. You slave and toil while some "pleased hitorcator" feasts off the sweet of your brow, and take the food out of her mouth. He's not alone. His bestiek his favorite mistress in iewerns and ermine.
The bosses' tables are laden with caviar, champagne, and legs of humming birds—your tables are bare and your children are digging in the filthy refuse of garbage cans for sustenance. The wives of the bosses are fat and swamped in luxury—your wives are thin and their bony hands are outstretched for food. The bosses' hands are soft and white—your hands are calloused and tow-worn. And what does your toil bring? Nothing—nothing but pain and despair and the gnawing pains of a hunger that will not be appeased.
Peaceful weapons will not prevail. You can not hope to win your goal by the ballot—the control of the ballot is in the hands of the tyrannical bosses. Only by blood will justice be obtained. Blue blood of the foul aristocrat must flow until the gutters are full of its filth. Remember the French Revolution! Remember the Russian Revolution! It is war, WAR, WAR! Strike now! KILL, KILL!
The man who asked $3 for a cup of coffee was putting all his "begs in one ask it."—Daily Texan.
Blessed are the poor. They don't spoil their sons and then dishinherit them for being spoiled. Daily Tar Heel.
The movies have solved the problem of perpetual emotion—Readers Digest.
-Indiana Daily Student.
When a woman is told a secret she promises to tell everybody not to tell anybody.
A Student Aid---offer. Although Muscle Muss is doing his best a cause small trouble in Ethiopia, it is not as large a war as we want. Now a very good prospect is that conflict between Russ-pusses and Jap-pusses, to say nothing of the Nazi-pusses moving into the Rhineland (we hope her Hungry Hitler will not see fit to stop there) and France's demanding, as she always does, that someone else settle her dispute.
In view of the fact that we are now exposed to numerous dust storms, the Kansan wishes to make a proposal which we know will be in the best interests of the students. This proposal is for the establishment of a bar in central Administration building. This bar would serve liquor only to students who present their identification cards and the prices would be just enough to cover expenses. On every Monday morning, free beer would be served to students.
We feel that such a proposal would meet with the approval of the administration and gain the support of the downtown churches and W.C.T.U. units. This Kansas climate with dust and winds has caused the throats of students to become so dry that recitation in class has become an impossibility. With the addition of copious draughts of pale beer, recitation would be speeded up, class rooms would be more interesting and the University would get students from all over the United States.
This proposal will be presented before a meeting of the Board of Regents, next Tuesday. A petition will be drawn up and circulated so that our rulers may fully know the desire of the entire student body. Anyone interested in the movement will secure the deepest gratitude of its backers by reporting to J. Wellington Slimp, 103 Myers ball and offering their services to this worthy cause.
The only thing as hard to get as peace in Europe with those ambitious dictators is a balanced budget in the U.S.A, with our ambitions spenders. —Cincinnati Enquirer.
A cow ate the blueprints of a Florida WPA project. Some government undertakings are harder than that for the taxpayers to swallow.
—Kapag, City Kansan.
Men are funny. They brag about their income before marriage and complain about it afterward.
-Daily Texan.
Fight, You Sissies
What we want to know is just why the countries in Europe are Stalin off the much talked about war. Is it to give the munition manufacturers an opportunity to increase the efficiency of their pants or is it because each is waiting for the other to knock the chip off his shoulder? Regardless of the cause, it seems a pity that when countries have made all their preparations and have mobilized all the available cannon fodder, the big sissies are afraid to fight.
The countries are conveniently located. If someone would just start something. It is like the laws and the engineers wanting to have their little scrap but lacking the official chip knocker-
Kansan Opinion
Afterver in this column the offer the answer of the Presenting Daily Offer will be displayed. If you have already entered the presenter, if you have a person you want to interview out and not present
To the Editor:
Students drive thousands of miles yearly in coming and going to the out-of-town pale vendors so that they can walk away their time in safety. How do I know? I travel with my kids and friends, as well as children to where I am sitting away while walking out and into town.
Why do the school and town authorities take a reasonable attitude toward we students whiling away our time. Just think, here I am sitting 3 and 3 10 miles away from home just whilling away and feeling very sad and
Pardon me while I step outside a moment.
Now where was I ... 1 . Oh yeh ask the lotin and
bids of gnomes of gohlens—goilms of gosalene . Just
I will be there . . .
Pardon me, again. I've get to see about these kernels again.
IsayitisadmanoutrageIsayxxcrovey, 30 e0
And besides you have to have a car to get out hereon on the cold nights its hell. You said it sport. and the boots in these places makes a person very,very everyyew unhappy with everything.x.0.9 so crowded that you cant even lift your elbow and stuff without getting slapped. You saidport.
won't join parties my time in the
business. I can't afford to be without
account for security, so I must limit
my everyone you send to the front desk,
$84-$40 audited.
I won't pardon myself this time . . . I'M GOING.
Jock Millar.
Deer Edittur;
In view of the lab of competitive spikers among the stoen-
tion bodies, I wad like to suggest a Easter egg role anw-
shuler Linglie's inbreed force of Konstamensium ex-
ploitants. So why don't you have to answer. Please
part this ea on Campus Equity coin?
Thinx, Interstud.
Filibro's Note: Contributions from K-men are always welcome but seldom carry the weight of the above. We will lend our unmet support to the success of this plan and will endeavour to actively and practice daily in an effort to win that "price".
Dear Editor:
Sixty votes should swing any man's election. Since swine music has become the accepted thing, why doesn't the parties swing into line and sound a bright note of happiness for the Hill band members, who are now on their way to Montreal? If they were simply grand, but these are parous times and now they are forced to use half notes for money. They kept a straight face, all but the trombone players, but now they are forced to acknowledge the economic struggle
Why split hairs? All they want is a little for each vote, and in return they promise better music. In place of the present unassatisfactory personnel they promise to substitute eleven bass drummers and a mandolin to carry the tune. The drummers will start playing at 7 o'clock, but the band will probably play to when the dancing starts, which is just danced.
Another surely needed improvement is one suggested by the Union Operating Committee, of putting the band on the dance floor and let George Guarney and anyone else who happens to be dancing, do their prowelling on the floor. The group did a great good dancer, and we always wanted to dance in the limelight. A Mad Mandolin Musician.
Editor Daily Kansan:
Yesterday I saw two Phil Delta and four African bishuh kicked out of the swimming pool because they insisted on wearing their clothing while swimming. That, I think, was a problem. We carry the chains that bind yend; strike for racial equality.
George Speed Guernsey III.
Norfolk is due at Chancellor's Office at 1 p.m. preceding regular publication days and 11:30 a.m. at Sparrow Sunday, for issues.
BIRNG-BACK-PROHIBITION SOCIETY. A meeting will be held in central Ad auditorium this evening. All registrants are welcome.
--both had farmed out the job to Sam Halper, well known conservative, who is here on a brief visit from Berlin. Halper argued, with some show of empathy, that he could not withstand the mighty logic of having such apparently contradictory minds arrive at the same verdict. The decision to join forces was hastened by the embarrassing persistence of members of one faith in double threat against him on his site side. So flicke is the average voter in his political affactions that a day by day chart of party strength looked like a seismographic record of the San Francisco earthquake. (Pardon on California Bill Rodgers, we mean the governor.) This plan will relieve the vote of all worry, for it is even more simple than Hitler's "vote" of approval. If some blackhearted vote wishes to express his disapproval, he can stay away from the poll. It will also materially outlay for handbills, palm oil, and oatmeal in the campaign, threat neurosis.
OFFICIAL UNIVERSITY BULLETIN
APRIL 1, 1936
Stewart Chambers, regent.
PEACE ACTION COMMITTEE: A combined meeting with the R.O.T.C. will be held in the Moriae's lounge of the Memorial Union building tonight. The subject for discussion will be "Curses for Poison Ivy."
Alfred Ames, Sgt. Wm. Kollender.
THE-EVERY-OTHER-THURSDAY-AFTERNOON-
AT-FIVE FACULTY MUNIS'S PINOCHILE AND PER-
NAL BETTERMENT CLUB. John Ike will speak on
the subject and will be joined by Aces
and of Muscolino." J. F. Brown, leader.
DOVE BOARD: An important meeting will be held tonight preparatory to issuing bonds for the new press and printing equipment. John Piercey, Bob Corey.
Ruth Brandt, secretaire.
LE CERCLE FRANCAISE : Le Cercelle Francaises se réunis en pourleur à bateau et pretsé. Tout éaxix teux en tête.
COLLEGE FACULTY: Grades will no longer be in college classes. Elective today all evolution of biology, geography, sociology, music, art, etc.
Now You Can't Go Wrong; Pachacamac And P.S.G.L. Have Buried the Hatchet
Persons who have viewed the sanctuary history of the political弊端 on the hill with minivigilants should erupt joy and thanksgiving at the welcome news that the lion and the lamb have laid down together. From sources immediately behind both throne comes whispers that the millennium is about to be accomplished and Pacchiaume and that it is not an army the hatched. That this is not an army the hatched. The abberation of a disordered mind is proved by the fact that, following the precedent laid down by the estimable Owl Society of having two presidents, Bib Thomas and John Milton Phillips, leading MRS presidential candidates, leaped on the arm in arm by a known source where venality cannot be questioned.
The reasons for this are not obscure, on the other hand, they are painfully evident. By this coup d'etat, neither will have the coop de grace administered, but their hands will be permitted to warm their hands at the council fire. But the chief reason is that on a curriptious comparison of the two party platforms, they were found to be more proximal than their proximal peer. The two presidential timbers wondered mightily thereto, and reasoned that it was probably because
Ethiopian Surprise Air Attack Demolishes Rome
One Million Persons, Including
Il Duce, Slaughtered
in Cold Blood
Rome, August 14 (AP) - more than one million persons, including Premier Benito Mussolini, were slaughtered in cold blood last night when the entire Italian air fleet, manned by Ethiopian pilots, completely demolished this city with a deadly bombardment of Italian babas.
This morning all that reminds of the story that was Rome is a scattered mass of bombs. The few survivors, stunned by the loss, are course of the war, are rapidly losing their ships in crop games with the invaders.
There is little information available, since the few government officials who participated in the attack must drink fatal doses of export wine, which been intended for American buyers.
No explanation could be offered here for the seizure of the Italian fleet by the Africans, but it is suspected that Osama bin Laden's clan men in a woodpecker somewhere.
Addis a Baby —(PU)—Indian forces temporarily temporally educated the Ethiopian troops yesterday afternoon when Italian planes dropped 520,000 pairs of dice into the defending troops. The troops immediately shot shooting bullets and dazzled their enemy with an Italian strategy proved a booming, and resulted in an overwhelming victory for the Ethiopians. When Musonii's men started their advance they came upon the dice contests and lost their entire fleet of aircraft, as well their heavy, artillery, and trousers, to the more tactical defenders of Halle Sauce.
A communique from the battlefield stated that the Ethiopians had commandeered the Italian fleet and planned to attack Rome.
Paris, April 1.—(PU)—Government officials here were stunned by news of the rage of the Roe by Ethiopians last
The name of the coalition is to be Programac, and the members have joined in a solen pledge against demagourage. Of such small beginnings it is that new enes are born. The old order changeh, giving place to new
H. W. STOWITS
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night. A high official source revealed that the government would demand more severe sanctions against Italy for the attack, which from the accepted rules of warfare.
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from all future wars on the ground of ineligibility," Premier Laval was quoted.
London, April 1. — (PU) — Foreign Secretary Anthony Edney, when informed of the capture of Rome by Halle Seize's air, commented, "We will protect this attack to the Leauce Council Council just last端午, you know. Until the day before, consider Rome in its status quo, as though nothing had happened."
"Our hearts bleed for the million Indians who lost their lives in last night's Alfieri Merlin, director of the University of Virginia WarS, said this morning. "We will be over to take a hand in the matter as we gather our bonus spent and our deice headed."
RANK CHUCKLETS
After Suzanne Sawyer had her picture taken yesterday she said to Duke D'Ambra, "I sawer boy oldubile."
Did you know that the right ham c
a hog is of far better quality than
the left? Ask any farmer.
A trifle sadistic are we but we has waited now for several years to write that headline that will be read around the world, "Bruno Burns." We ar
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THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS
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University Daily Kansan
PUBLISHER ___ HAURY VALENTINE
EDITOR IN CHIEF ___ JOE GRINWOLD
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gradually getting out of sorts. (Aren't we?)
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