PAGE TWO UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. LAWRENCE. KANSAS WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1931 University Daily Kansar Offical Student Paper of THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS LAWRENCE, KANSAS EDITOR-IN-CHEF CLAKENCE RUPI Associate Editors Frank McClinland Brian Thompson OWNING EDITOR Milkap Editor | Gordon Martin Sunday Editor | Owen Palp Saturday Editor | Loreen Palp Smiling Editor | Keren Hamza Smarty Editor | Jorge Ramirez Smarty Editor | Helen Carmichael Alameda Editor | Mary Haskin Alameda Editor | Karen Haskin ADVERTISING MCA ROBERT PIERSON District Assistant Liz Gormanman District Assistant Tiffany McNamara District Assistant William W. Billard District Assistant Jorge H. Nolan District Assistant Robert S. Brown Kansas Record Members Frank McCaffield Robert Pearson Mary Butterton Call Copper Jake Murrell Telephone Business Office K, U, 6 News Room K, U, 30 Night Conversation 291K3 Published in the afternoon, five there a week, and on Sunday morning, by students in the Department of Journalism at the University of Texas at Austin, in The Times of the Journalist of Journalism. Subscription prices, $40 per hour, payable in advance. Single course, be on time. Entered in recordings online or in office at Lawrence Kansas, under the month of 3, April 2017. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1931 BILL, HOW COULD YOU? At last it seems that Kansas must share her launches for producing unique and colorful figures. Although the Sunflower state brought forth a "Sinkham Jowy" Simpson, and a buckle-twisting Carrie Nation with prohibition, her powers of propagation have never yet been equal to an "Afalfa Bill" Murray. He is apparently a product of the old livery stable days. Probably he would have fitted very well into Tom McNeal's account of the first barber shop in Medicine Lodge, which incidentally was the home of "Soakless Jerry"; for "AlfaLLA" Bill" shows Red Star, takes off his shoes and parks his feet on the mantel while he sweeps stories with the "boys." He has promised great things for Oklahoma, such as abolishing football and the greater part of the physical education program from the state schools, besides firing about half of the professors. His habit of wandering around the country doing all sorts of things and buying new clothes only when necessity dictates that he do so appeals to us immensely. In fact, we thought he might be a nice sort of person to whom to pay a friendly visit sometimes when we need a job. To think that "Bill" would go back on his public in such a way. We are tempted not to send him the river-in-raid ecupsider we thought of giving him as an inauguration gift. But we've lost all faith in "Bill." He said he would live in the garage, rent out the governor's mansion, plant the rose garden in sweet potatoes and let the cow graze on the lawn. Now he comes up with the alibi that he was only "funnin'" and that of course he will live in the governor's house as that is what it is meant for. WE NEED PURGING I am inclined to think that if the coming legislature cannot see its way clear to raising the salaries of the professors at K. U., it should appoint a committee of investigation to determine how many of the K. U. professors are teaching socialism and bolshevism, see that they are fired, and use the money that they have been getting to advance the salaries of loyal American teachers. —Douglas County Republican. It will be interesting to know just how the editor of the Douglas County Republican proposes to establish the identity of the Socialists and Bolsheviks on the faculty of the University of Kansas. Perhaps he can make use of the medieval ordures of fire and water—if not in their literal sense, at least in a figurative. He is doubtless well-acquainted with the modern version of the ordeal by water and has the discerning eye necessary to an authoritative application and accurate judgment of results. Among its chief factors are such considerations as the following: Does the suspect have a bushy, black beard? Does he have a yellow streak down his back? Are his eyes blood-shot and is his figure bent and enciased? But should the ordeal by water fail to establish conclusively the identity of our Socialist and Bohhevist, there yet remains the ordeal by fire which has never been known to fail. The first test is one merely of the suspect's physical characteristics; but the second reads his very thoughts and brings out beyond all doubt the blackness of his out. an order to escape the dire penalties meted out to all Bolsheviks and Socialists, the subject must sweep to support his party in everything, whether his personal feeling tells him it is right or wrong. He must pledge his honor to adhere unwaverly to the hoary principles of that party—the sacred principles laid down by the men who governed our country before the abolition of slavery, government by the common people, the supremacy of personal over property rights, and universal education had ever been conceived in any ideal's wildest dreams. Then he must promise to uphold the profit system in his classroom—the system which has given America more millionaires than any other country in the world, while millions of her citizens are suffering poverty and want. He must immediately resonate all such threats to democracy as socialized industry, birth control, presidential primaries, free trade, single tax, and an realistic philosophy. After the editor has purged the University of Kansas by the application of few bieflative tests, we suggest that we may bind a further field for his activities at the University of Oklahoma. 'Affalla Bill' will need a first-rate fixed hand before he accomplishes all but he proposed. AS OTHERS SEE US Cigarette butts all over the floor . . . a bottle of ginger ale on the table . . . Crimson cupboard bowl lips . . . six feet of debonair assurance wrapped in a coon skin coat . . . smart roadsters that never travel under sixty . . . professors who always lecture to the "five foot two" on the front row . . . dancing, dancing, dancing fraternity pins going the rounds . . . football games . college hang outs . . . exams . . . fire-escapes . . . pudding . . . prams . . moonlight year round . . . flunks . iv covered buildings . . That is the series of pictures which flash in the majority of minds where the word "college" is mentioned. The movies of college life have exploited the idea, Dance orchestra has made use of this naïve picture of colleges. The manners and conduct of many students have contributed much to building up this erroneous impression of what life at an educational institution is supposed to be. The glamorous and the romantic elements are here. Wherever there are four thousand youths together there will be these. But the idea of the college campus as a rendezvous for only merriment and a good time is a myth. A student will believe an ask any student-preferably in the coming two weeks. ANOTHER UNEMPLOYMENT THREAT Greater sin hath no man (or woman) than to keepimpressing the fact upon helpless students seeking A.B's and similar letters, that he is not to be in school next semester and so what difference do exams make, or what's the use of school anyway. There's a species of fend lurking around the University these days, that is most disturbing to that urge which bids us to conquer all difficulties and pass the on-coming tests of what haven't been learned this last semester. These pests sneak upon you in the library and tempt you to go to Roby's and have a coke. They find time to go to all the shows with the result that they are far ahead of you in wise cracks. These demons even have leisure to read the continued story in the Star and learn the words to "I'm a Ding-Dong Daddy from Dumaa" and like bullets. Maybe he is going into Uncle Jake's bank or sell insurance; maybe the female of the species is going to marry the nice boy at home with the curly sideburns. But right now it's better to end the job up here in some sort of scholarly fashion before starting another. After all this is a poor year for anyone to lose a job, even that job is only getting an education. A NOBLE SOLUTION Seven and a half million persons are cramping the pavements looking for jobs and an equal number of our intellectuals have got their heads together to seek a solution of the problem. The best done they have thus ar is to suggest that the unemployed go back to work. While these commissions are busy nominating a second vice-chairman we might offer what seems to be a sensible solution. Obviously the question is one of protection of the laboring man who is an indispensable element in our economic life. Many times before, this nation has been faced with the problem of protecting the interests, the property, and the lives of even less than seven and a half million persons, and the solution has been reached without a great deal of trouble. That is to say, we might have a little war and engage these seven and a half million people to become soldiers, nurses, and all the other functionaries that go to make up a successful battle. It really isn't important with whom we have war, because a war in the interest of the lives of seven and a half million people will be justified regardless whom we fight. Of course a few thousand may be killed in action, but what man would not prefer to die with needles rather than starve without them? At the Recital The whole idea may be silly, as we well realize, but after all it is about as good as the one made by our far-sleeved friends, who suggest that the problem will be solved when the unemployed go back to work. By Lela Hackney --there will be a meeting of Ena Sigma FI this evening at 7:30 o'clock in basser hall. TERESA HAGINGTON. Secretary. For some time we have been wondering why the various musical ensemble groups had not as yet made public appearances. We need wonder no more however, for Thursday evening the University band will give it a grand concert in the musical mid-winter concert of the University Symphony orchestra. Prof. Karl O. Kuewerstein, conductor seems to have welded together a group of the best talent on the hill, and off- side he has been awarded indeed a credit to the University. The program included "Overture Ruy Blas" by Mendelssohn, the Frank "Symphony in D Minor," and a syma- cle poem, "Les Précés," by Liszt. The feature of the evening, however, was the two scenes from the opera, "The Sun-Bride," by Prof. C S. Skillan. This was the first Lawrence hearings, and solo parts were taken by members of the chorus to accompany the chorus was composed of voice students. The opera is based on an Indian legend of the Pielobos, and is most likely a work by Rudolf Retto. The portions presented last night comprised the "Scene at Dawn" and the "Sunrise Hymn." The part by McDonnell, whom Moore apprehens, Blanceterdil, William Pilcher, the Caicque, William B Downing, baritone. The chorus by Mohr, who plays Glemmys Hils, Enterprise Knox, and Jean Lardarois; soprano; Eminy Ball, Vena Skepala, Josephine Edmons, Daniela Bastian, Karenadil Black, Den Burnett, Frank Eaton, and Harry Green, tenors; Delmar Goode, Maurice Widjets, Kanadaidil Iao, and Maurice Widjets. The most excellent of the three major orchestral works played by the Symphony orchestra was the "Sym- performance," with the other two. This super work was presented with Such a splendidly colorful list of musical composition makes us proud to be a member of the Fine Arts faculty. The portions present last night were indeed well done, and deserving of our attention. We have to make is that there wasn't enough of it. When is the University building a new production? The orchestral accompaniment for the selection of the opera was rather well prepared, and which it was a bit too loud and drowned out the voice of Blufheater All of the solo voices sang their part in the chorus with great clarity of diction and tone. The selections were difficult—that was apparent from the formers carried them through nicely. The Book Nook Send a book to the friend who is ill. OFFICIAL UNIVERSITY BULLETIN Vol. XXVIII Wednesday, Jan. 14, 1921 No. 87 La ubila reunion del club de este semestre tendra lugar el juves 15 del presente a la cuartor y media de la tarde. Se tomara el retrato del club arrael "Jagwehker" en el Squires studio el domingo proxima la dia y quater 10:15 de la manana. LA JUNTA DIRECTIVA. EL ATENEO: ETA SIGMA PHI: GRADUATE CLUB: There will be a dinner meeting of the Graduate club in the cafeteria of the Union building on Wednesday, Jan. 14 at 6 p.m. Alfredo Bantheaite with LAVON W. KIESTER, Chairman Executive Committee DRAMATIC CLUB: The K. U. Dramatic club will meet Thursday at 8 o'clock in Green hall MARCAFE SMITH, Secretary. MAC DOWELL CLUB: A meeting will be held Wednesday, Jan. 14, at 8:10 p.m. in the rest room in central Administration. Miss Helen Helazo Willen will present an important matter. Pins ordered are now available. There will be a short program and refreshments. All numbers please be prevent. WILLIAM VANDEL, President. Phi Sigma will meet Thursday, J. 15, m. 6 o'clock in room 201. Snow hall. Dr H. H. Lane will speak. EMA CASEY. Secretary. PHI SIGMA: There will be an important meeting of the Pre-Law association inilleter, Green hall at 7:30 Wednesday, Jan. M. Election of officers and regular business will be followed by a speech by Professor Chalka on "The Advantages of the Social Sciences as a Pre-Law Major." All pre-Laws should be present. SENIORS AND JUNIORS: The time has been lengthened in order to take care of all class photograph appointments. You make images immediately with the Perviking studio. WHY CLUB: "What is wrong with Christianity?" will be topic for final Why club meeting of this semester. Thursday evening, 7 o'clock, room 4, sub-basement of Memorial Union building. The Rev. William A. Guertant will be the speaker. GWEN PAUL, Chironom A COMPLETE LINE White—Green-Yellow Gold S14.85 to 727.00 ELGINS three movements, and delightful flexibility in all but the second movement. The group seemed not entirely sure if they had met the "gretto," and they seemed to lack the confidence and sweep necessary. In the "Allagno non troppo" movement, they were very confident in their ship in the nice crescendo, and the contrata. The violin section was indeed excellent in this number. The musicians delivered theverture from Mendelssohn opened the program, and the inspired "Les Preludes" by Liszt added to everyone. Whichever role they played exceedingly well, and much credit is due both the conductor and the sixy-edd student们 who have rehearsed them to make such an evening possible. Jayhawk Taxi Campus Comment PATEE Perfect Sound Let the Bats in the Belray Go Ding-Dong Happy Days Are Here Again! Crowds! - Crowds! - Crowds! Held Over for Two More Days Tonite - Thursday - Friday If the folks back home want to know how the studies are "stucking up" most of the students can answer, "plenty." ELECTRIC RADIOS Complete $59.50 Shimmons Bros. Plumbing and Electrician Repair Work, Specially 836 Mass. 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