APRIL 16, 1918. UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Official student paper of the University of Texas EDITORIAL STAFF **Vivian Sturgeon.** · Editor-in-chief **James Hardcore.** · Assoc. with News **News Editor.** · News Editor **Howard Morgan.** · P. T. Editor **Alen Pelton.** · Soapbox. **Miller.** · War Editor DIGITAL STAR Fred Rigby...Business Mgr. Wedge Willey...Assistant Herman Hangen Nancy Wear Milard Wear Floyd Hackenclull Alice Bowley Alice Bowley Harry Morgan Jason Pace Dorothy Cole Roger Katz J. Shawson (Luther Hangen) Brian Miller Subscription price $2.00 per year in advance; one term, $1.75. Entered as second-class mail matter forwarded to Kansas, under the act of Sempervirens. Published in the afternoon five times through the summer of 1945; published in Kansas, from the press of the De- partment. Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas Phones, Bell K. U. 25 and 66. The Daily Kansan aims to picture undergraduate students to go further than merely printing the news they see in newspapers, vests hold; to play no favorable; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be charitable; to be courageous; to be kind; to be wise head; in all, to serve the heat of university the students of vests. TUESDAY, APRIL 16, 1918. IT WONT "GET BY" Here is what representative students think of the disgusting behaviour of the students who sang ribald songs and dispensed epithets under the windows of several sorority houses Sunday night: "Those students should suffer social ostracism." "The University student body ought to let them know where they stand." "Men of such caliber have no place in this University." "Their names should be known." "The names should be published. The whole University would like to know what University man would be guilty of such contemptible behaviour." This offence against all laws of decency and common courtesy is under the circumstances unpardonable. No excuse can be offered for any party of University men who deliberately embark on a night's carousel, visiting the homes of women students for the purpose of using the names of these students in crude and vulgar songs, and interspersing their remarks with profanity. Official punishment for the present offense is now up to the Disciplinary Committee. The incidents of Sunday night, unfortunately, although the worst, are not the first offence of this nature in the history of the institution, and an unfair reflection upon both the student body at large and life at the University. For the future names of offenders will be published if it is humanly possible to get them. Official punishment for the pre- BUT- It was raining and they were going to a dance. It might have been that he was planning to take her to only that one party, but she did not appreciate the fact when the water became wetter the farther they walked. Of course they got wet and her party clothes were runned. A cab would have cost a fortune, but— GUM Everybody does it. If not in public, at least once in a lifetime in purposeful solitude—everybody will chew gum. Who can say at the end of life that he never did? Of course, one cannot be sure how near the end of life is when one is called to uphold personal moral reccitude in matters of superfluous jaw gymnastics. But if man or woman knew that the exit gates were swinging, it would be only human curiosity's ultimate satiation if world-weary chops revolved one final turn over and through an appreciable amount of gum. And yet gum chewing must be immal. There is a story of a Kansas farmer who caught his son smoking cigarettes behind the biggest barn. He shook the lad until the offensive roll of gfire and smoke and ruin to barn, body, and soul popped out and flew to the ground in a perfect parabola. "Yes," said paw, "yes, and the next thing I know you'll be chewin' gum!" Anything of human conduct that cannot be done without excuse, apology, or defense must be questionable, then. Say that while cutting wisdom teeth gum is to the adult what the rubber ring is to the baby, and it is an awful slander on the consistency of gum. Say that jangling nerves are made to respond like the last chord to the soothing rhythm of the gum that palpitates in tune with the mind and heart, and a whole world wonders why Job found no gum in Gilead. Truth is the seasaw, ferrin-wheel, merry-go-round, pop-goes-the-weasel motion of the gum glued moth is the best nerve twister known outside of a dentist's forceps. All wrong, all wrong, and cannot be right! Baseball pitchers rely on gum, They want to wet the ball. The gum that starts the fountain also dries it up. And there's the answer to the man who chews gum to relieve a dry throat. A bicycle rider chewed gum for fifty miles and kept his chaps syncopated with the pedals. At the end of the run he developed lock- jaw, mastoiditis, a fractured skull, cross eyes, and a headache. He stopped riding a bicycle. Reliance on gum is confession of servitude, inertia, and utter helplessness. But gum is a good substitute for tobacco. It is handy. It can be made attractive if given expert mastication. The results are astounding—the sounds, the motions,—curves, angles, spirals. Perhaps those who profess to be annoyed are envious of the manipulator's skill. Then again perhaps not. The graduate from tobacco might get courage enough to graduate from gum; the jugling Jerry of juicy chicle might find a finer art; and the yawks and yanks of gum-up and gum-down could be confined to experiment and not be extended to experience. No, man may not be strictly, exclusively herbivorous, but he certainly is a ruminating animal. Even so he takes spearmint and peppermint in his huminations; the deliciously fresh mint from cool hanks of a shady brook that flows across a thousand miles of Yankee billboards right under a million pairs of adoring, wriggly eyes. Then there's the only and original pepsin that cures all that hen panacea will essay and more. And last of all there is that blistering compound of gum arabi and fiery acid that pictured nurses and white coated dentists declare the teeth need. The teeth will come out much casier—and convince the world of painless extraction. But as for the chewing of the gum—well, better have your store teeth ordered and in; it won't hurt them. The Kansas City Star and Mr. Roosevelt today join in making the same unforgivable newspaper error, the misspelling of a name. In his editorial, "To My Fellow Americans of German Blood," in the Times Mr. Roosevelt begins: "Herman Hagedorn—" and thereby begins incorrectly. And the Star, taking the editorial off the wire or out of the mails, lets him do it. This is a joyous occasion. Taste? De gustibus, you know, And after all who cares for conventions? Gum might get to be a convention, however. Therein lies the danger. That would be hard to upset. Let the chewers chew. But let them know why they chew and smile indulgently. Gum? Gum! They'll make a law about it yet—in Topeka. EVEN IN HIGH PLACES The other day an ambitious student in an editorial in the Daily Kansas wrote "Fred L. Trigg." It should have been Fred C. Trigg, as the Star hastened to point out with pleasant sharpness. Well, it shouldn't be "Herman," either, Mr. Roosevelt, and old friend, the Star. At least Hermann doesn't spell it that way in his published works, his letters and his calling cards. Neither does Who's Who in America spell it the Roosevelt way. There was no excuse for the student writing an "L" for a "C," but considering the whole thing the inexperienced youngster did a bit better than Mr. Roosevelt and the Star jointly. He had the correct number of letters at least. KANSAN PRIZE POEM CONTEST Every One Deserves Something RIME SUBLIME Madeline Aaron Anyone can be a poet, All it takes is rhyming. And a knack to writ about The dark cloud's silver lining. Anyone can be a poet, Come let's sing a song to spring- Sweet birds sing, On the wing, Children swing, Clear bells ring. Victory bells ring. Anyone can sing of spring. Then let's write an aide to night, Warm firelight, Moonebeams white, Stars are bright... Lots of with pink. Anyone can sing of spring. A lyric sweet let's sing of love, My fond love! Lots of words to rhyme with night. Why, everyone sings once of love. My fond dove: Eyes as blue as skies above, Love, love, love! "What's the matter with the first violinist? He doesn't seem to be able to find the key." "You'd have a hard time finding your key if you had been through as many bars as he has this evening."—Jack o' Lantern. "Pa, will you give me a good licking right now?" "Why this, Lemuel?" "I'm going to sneak off and go swimming, and I don't want to be beholden." General—"Well, what news?" Private-"Sure; they promised to borrow some cannon balls." General—"Did you let them have them?" Private—"Sure they; promised to send them back in the morning."—Brunonian. Student Help Wanted, apply in person. The Oned Cafe—Adv. Salted peanuts and salted almonds —salted in fresh country butter at Wiedemann's.—Adv. Drink McNish's Aerated Distilled water—the only all-purpose water. The same the year 'round. Phone 198, motor delivery will call—Adv. Thousands of teachers needed to fill vacancies in Central and Western states for next year. Register now. FOR LEADERSHIP COMMISSION. Write for blanks today. Teachers' Agency, 408-409 C. R. Sav. Bank Bldg., Cedar Rapids, Iowa. TEACHERS WANTED CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS Telephone K. U. 66 Orcall at Daily Kansan Business Office For Rent For Sale Lost Found Help Wanted Simulation Wanted Classified Advertising Rates Minimum charge, one insertion, 35c; two insertions, 50c; sertions, 25c; five insertions, 50c; insertion, 25c; three insertions, 50c; five insertions, 75c. Twenty-five words up, one cent a word. Word each additional insertion. Word each additional insertion. Rates given upon application. R. OR.-LUT-Eye, Ear, Nose and Mouth Jails will work guaranteed. Kick Building. PROFESSIONAL DR. H. REDING F - A. U. BUILDING. Dr. H. REDING F - A. U. BUILDING. Hoods 9 to 5. Phone 513. (Exclusive Optometrists) Eyes examined; glasses furnished. Offices: Jackson Bldg. 292 Mass. LAWRENCE OPTICAL CO. JOB PRINTING—B. H. DALE, 1027 M. St. Phone 228. I. W. JONES, A. M., M. D. Diseases of the stomach, surgery and gynecology Suite 10, F. A. U. Bldg. Residence 25, F. A. 1011 Ohio St. Both rhones, 15. KEELEER'S BOOK STORE — Quiz books, theme papers, paper by the pound, theatre programs, and graphic Pictures and picture framing. Agency commond Typewriters. **892 Mass. Street.** Select Your Hat Spring Models $3.50 to $6 from our Wonderful Assortment of Nobby Models Created by Stetson and Mallory If you're exacting in your hat requirements—then we know that our Spring stock can satisfy you. We have a big variety of the latest blocks, the newest shades—all with a rakish style contained in them that at once pleases young men. Don't say that you'll come down next week to buy your new Spring hat—make it tomorrow! Our salesmen can fit you and please you. PECKHAM'S The Home of Hart Schaffner & Marx Clothes When in Kansas City Stop at the Hostelry of "Good Service" — HOTEL SAVOY 9th & Central Sts. ROOMY ROOMS Excellent Cafe and Grill —Popular Prices— Make the "Savoy" Your Headquarters! Student Help Wanted, apply in person. The Oread Cafe—Adve. Spring is here!—so are the new fabrics for Spring Suits. SCHULZ The TAILOR 917 Mass. St. Diamonds, Watches, Silverware, Cut Glass ED. W. PARSONS Jeweler—725 Mass. St. Jewelry of the Better Sort FOR PROMPT TAXI 455 SERVICE CALL JESS THORNTON "We're in Business for Your Health" Welkos Drug Store Formerly Evans' 819 Mass. A DAILY LETTER HOME—The Daily Kansan. HOTEL KUPPER Kansas City, Mo. Convenient to the shopping and Theatre District especially handy for ladies, being on Petticoat Lane. Cafe in connection paying special attention to banquets. WALTER S. MARS Don't wait--do IT now! Buy War- Savings Stamps! After You Buy a Liberty Bond— Buy Your Tickets to the Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra Concerts EMIL OBERHOFFER, Conductor MONDAY, APRIL 22, 2:30 P. M. AND 8:00 P. M. FIVE NOTED SOLOISTS Christine Schutz, Contralto. Carl A. Preyer, Pianist. Cornelius Van Vliet, 'Cellist. Allen McQuhae, Tenor. Richard Czerwonky, Violinist. Richard Czerwonky, Violinist. IN TWO WONDERFUL CONCERTS Tickets admitting to main floor, both concerts **$1.50** Tickets admitting to gallery, both concerts **$1.25** Single Admissions, $1.00 Now on sale at Registrar's Office and Round Corner Drug Store.