UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN MARCH 25,1918 UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Official student paper of the University of California EDITORIAL STAFF Alice Bowley Editor-in-chief Vivian Sturgeon Associate Editor Mary Smith Assistant News Editor Fordland Scotland War Editor Pearland Scotland War Editor BUSINESS STAFF Fred Blight Business Mgr Wayne Wilson Assistant Herman Hunger Howard Morgan Howard Morgan Milford Wear Millford Wear Everett Palmer Subscription price $2.00 per year | advance; one term, $175. Entered as second-class mail matter in the State of New York, under the act of Morrowday, 18th January, 1790. Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students of the University of Kansas, from the press of the Department of Journalism. Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN LAWRENCE, Kansas Phones, BELL K. C. 25 and 66. The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate life of the university and then merely printing the news by standing for the ideals the University has in place, to be clean; to be cheerful; to be charitable; to be respectful; to seek problems to wiser heads; in all, to serve to the students of the University. MONDAY, MARCH 25, 1918. Have you a little SALVAGE BASKET in your home? IN QUEST OF A SHAKESPEARE Within the bounds of the journalistic domain there is prevalent one conviction. This conviction is that there is poetry circulating free in the spring air. Ever since the first spring, down to the present, through all the intervening years the season has brought forth its Homers and Walt Masons to begin potting away at the first dandelions. When the sap begins to climb in the red bud tree the sap of romance rises from the human heart to the human head and lo! spring, gentle spring, is here indeed. Mankind accordingly suffers a plague of poets. Individuals staid or frisky, and not otherwise guilty are moved to madness and verse. They carol recklessly about gambling lambs and sheep sorrel greens, city lights and June nights, stout heart jonquils and love's true dream. Maiden ladies of the elderly stage commit various versions of the Baby's Prayer to paper, while the seasoned poet lilies a few lines of dolorous dirge about all the Spring Song's having been sung. When the icy hearted editor cannot see his way clear to parting with any shekels for even one throb and returns them all, the maiden of many years winds hers with pale blue ribbon and lays it away in the family chest and the poet professional consigns his to the flames and tries again. The Daily Kansan is offering a prize for the best poem written by any student, in the hope of bringing to light a few genuine poetic jewels from the victims of spring fever. Rules of the contest will be announced later and the poems will be printed on this page. All incognito versifiers are urged to round out those lines scribbled on the back of an envelope and fare forth to the Kansan office with them. You may win the prize, who knows? NINETY-TWO CENTS AN HOUR NINETY-TWO CENTS AN HOUR the wasting of time in which the University of Kansas student often cheerfully indulges, costs on an average ninety-two cents an hour. Figured in whatever purports to be a fair method of computation, the result is the same: every time a student cuts a class he does nothing more nor less sensational than the throwing of a dollar bill to the Kansas wind. Dividing the cost of the year's schooling by the number of class recitations gives the approximate cost per recitation. The average cost of a year on Mt. Oread is about $500. This divided by 540, the number of recitations in a year, gives a trifle more than ninety-two cents for each hour in the class room. This cost is charged to the recitation, for it is assumed that the only reason the student comes to the University to study instead of staying at home is to get the advantage of personal contact with teachers, as well as the further advantages of the classroom and laboratory. Acquiring knowledge is a business proposition. It can result in either a financial or intellectual failure or both if the student is not careful. Being careful means to watch the leaks. The habit of cutting classes is the most conspicuous leak. More than a dollar is spoiled every time an absence is recorded. Useful knowledge is above cash price. A recitation which is not attended is one of the poorest investments, yet many a poor student is deluded over and over again—cheerfully deluded. But he is happy in his ignorance. The student may get his credit at the end of the semester, but he has not got the knowledge. And it is knowledge he has come to buy, not credits. The credit which he is given should stand for the student's best effort. If the quality of the work for which the credit is a measure, is not the best of which the student is capable, he has not realized fully on his investment. Every student should figure for himself the cost of cutting a class. It is only when the cost is realized that dollars will remain in pocketbooks, and students in the classroom. It is only when the student is confronted with the cost of his act that his wasting of time will cease to be cheerful. The little problem in grammar-school arithmetic might well be the means of relieving the University from the burden of grammar-school discipline. LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT She called up at the eleventh hour and broke her date. Her explanation sounded thin, but he could only accept it with good grace. It was then, however, too late to invite anyone else, so he got along as best he could partnerless. To her it was a little thing, but it should have counted. MENTAL LAPSES Judge (severely): Aren't 'you ashamed to be seen here so often? Boozy Bill: "Why, bless Yer Honor, this place is quite respectable some places where I'm seen.—(Boston transcript.) "The Lord knows how Binks made his money!" "No wonder he always looks worried."- St. Louis Globe-Democrat. "I simply can't get the hired girl up soon in the morning." "Mama, why don't you give he yes the night before?" "Good morning! I came to tune your piano." "Give her yeast! What for, dearie?" "Why, to make her rise."—Florida Times-Union. Young journalist, discussing Boston Transcript—"This paper has 5% columns of sport, 1% women, no children." "Who," she asked, "were the six hundred referred to in the verse, "Into the jaws of death rode the six hundred."? "Piano! But I didn't send for you." "No, madam, but the neighbors said I ought to call."—Passing Show. "I think, ma'mad," said one pupil, "they must have been dentists." Teacher had just finished reading the Charge of the Light Brigade. "It is high time the Crown Prince were married," said the emperor of Hindu Kush. "But where is the perfect-tempered woman who alone is fit to bear eugeni successors to the throne?" A Good Guess A BOLSHEVIK FABLE "Maiesty, I know her; come with me," said the Prime Minister, who had taken a correspondence course in after-dinner speaking and thought quickly on his feet. So they put on a couple of the famous Hebrides cloaks which render the wearer invisible and are guaranteed rainproof and immediately they stood in the white enamelled living room of a handsome suburban home, put together by unskilled day labor out of ready-made sections shipped by fast express from Spokane. Now, as they opened the door to enter, the storm came in behind them and made a huge pool on the floor. The following from the pen of Misa Helen Rhoda Hoopes, of the department of English, has appeared in the Kansas City Star: POET'S CORNER A Complaint The very flowers we knew before; The tulips by the kitchen door, What is there new to write of spring? The selfname birds are caroling; The phoebe's flute, the chitter-chee of flicker or of chickadee; The robin's pipe, and, over all, The mellow whistle of the cardinal- All these are old. There's not a thing a poet now can say of spring. The violets brought from yonder hills. The purple shaft of hyacinth Uplifting from its low green Spring does not even change her name: All these are old. One must not pour Out verse about them, any, more. Her bonny face remains the same. But wait—a chance!—one never Her bonny face remains the same. To tell the truth about the minx; Her fickness, her cold disain Of gardens labored o'er in vain— All this is new. We grant the claim; But, surely, spring is not to blame. Thereupon the elder of the two women whom our travellers discovered in the room broke into pitiful lamentation, but her daughter only laughed merrily and cried: "Mother, isn't it lucky the floor is Croscimeted? Tell Mandy to run a mop over it and it will be as good as ever." "Is it she? " the Emperor whispered hoarsely, like a secret diplomat. "It is, sire; but wait." At the mention of her name, Mandy, who had just entered the dining-room with a steaming soup-tureen, started suddenly and let the bowl crash to the ground. “Oh, dear!” cried the old body, but the girl only clapped her hands with delight. "How fortunate we have Crosby's Coiffah Cubes in the house, mother," she beamed. "Half a cube to a cup of hot water and serve." "There's a ten-cent bottle of Stickeen's Cement in the closet. You won't be able to tell the difference yourself." "But my Sheffield bowl," protested the old woman. The girl hummed a bar from "Madama Butterfly." "An admirable mate," said the Emperor. "The throne will be safe." But in his admiration he forgot his invisibility. The girl tripped over his foot, stumped against a chair and only with difficulty kept her balance. "But, mother," trilled the girl, and the room was alight with her smile, "these are the Tearless. I send them back to the factory and get a perfectly new pair." "Mabel," cried the unhappy mother "you have ripped their stocking, and you know what they are now at the store." "We have found her. Let us go and apprise the Crown Prince of his good fortune. And what shall be your reward, Mulligatwney Khan?" "Sire," said the Prime Minister, "I will ask only that when you write you will kindly mention Jimpson's Weekly." The Emperor seized the Prime Minister by the arm. His face was radiant. But before the wedding arrangements were completed the Crown Prince eloped with a lady from the chorus. —New York Evening Post. an ARROW form-fit COLLAR For Reqt For Sale Locat Found Help Wanted Wanted CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS Telephone K. U. 66 Or call at Daily Kansan Business Office **Classified Advertising Rates** Minimum charge, one insertion, 25c; two insertions, 50c; fifteen to twenty-five word, one insertion, 25q; five insertions, 50c; fifteen to twenty-five word, one insertion, 25q; five insertions, 75c; fifteen to twenty-five word, one insertion, 25q; five insertions, 75c. first insertion, one-half cent a word each additional insertion. first insertion rates given upon application. TEACHERS WANTED—War co WANTED—War conditions cause many good positions to be open. We must be prepared to intervene. Mr. Hawkins will booklet, Central Educational Bureau, W. J. Hawkins, Mgr, Metropolitan Bldg., St. Louis, Mo. FOR SALE—Pure bred White Leghorn hens, and a few Anconas, the aying kind. Telephone 2269. WANTED—Student to take care or typewriters. Inquire at Room 1, Journalism Building. 109-7-F-178 DR. ROR-LIP-Eye, Ear, Nose and Glass glass work guaranteed. Dick Building. PROFESSIONAL AWRENCE OPTICAL CO. LAWRENCE TYPE (TPT) EXERCISE (optometrist) examined: optometric study examined: 27.7 Mass DR. H. REDING — F. A. U. Building, Houses 9 to 10, U. Phone 513. Hours 9 to 10, Phone 513. JOB PRINTING—B. H. DALE, 1027 Mass. St. Phone 228. G. W. JONES, A. M. M. D. Diseases of the stomach, surgery and gynecology. F. A. A. U. Blidge. Residence hospital, 1291 Ohio St. Both phones. 1391 KEELERS BOOK STORE • Quiz books the theme papers, drawings, painting, applies. Pictures and picture framing. Agency Ammond • Typewriters. 359 Mass. Street. A DAILY LET7 ER HOME—The Daily Kansan. No amount is too small to LEND TO YOUR COUNTRY. Buy War-Savings Stamps! HOTEL KUPPER Kansas City, Mo. Convenient to the shopping and Theatre District —especially handy for ladies, being on Petticoat Lane. Cafe in connection paying special attention to banquets. WALTER S. MARS, Mgr. SHOE REPAIRING SHOE REPAIRING Best materials used. Work guaranteed I make a specialty of Neolin soles because Neolin is better than leather. A. E. KOONS 829 More St. Kennedy Plumbing Co. Student Lamps National Mazda Lamps Cord, Plugs, Sockets, Etc. Phones 568 937 Mass CONKLIN PENS are sold at McColloch's Drug Store 847 Mass. Taxi 12 'PHONE "One-Two" An Extra Pair of Pants FREE with every John Hall Tailored-to-measure suit we sell up to Saturday night.* You can buy the new Spring models in this line from $20 up—— take advantage of this opportunity. Take advantage of this opportunity—sale has been extended to Saturday night because of the arrival of new patterns today. W. E. WILSON ELDRIDGE BLDG. 1025 Mass. St. CARTER'S Typewriter Supplies, Stationery University Supplies Arts & Sciences 707 MASS. ST GearMinder Supplies Agent for CORONA typewriter A Fresh Shipment of MARTHA WASHINGTON CANDIES University Book Store 803 Mass. St. World almanacs for 1918 have arrived FRANK VAUGHN, Prop. 730 Mass. St. PALACE BARBER SHOP A first class shop for K. U. men. Electric massage A. G. ALRICH 736 Mass. St. Easter and Birthday Cards. Engraved Cards for Commencement. The War as a Business Teacher WILLIAM H. RANKIN, president of the Rankin Advertising Agency of Chicago, says: "The greatest advertising lesson that will come out of the war will be that advertising, properly handled, is a profitable investment and not a 'necessary evil'" Yes, rent is an expense and so is light, heat and power,—but advertising is a business creator, an accumulator of good will, an efficient adjustor of merchandise—ADVERTISING IS A VALUABLE INVESTMENT which will pay you interest! Advertising—an investment and not an expense!